


Kazoku

by Akaicchi



Series: Mukidashite: Bare (Your Teeth) [4]
Category: Persona 4, Persona Series, Shin Megami Tensei, Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor
Genre: Alternate Universe - Persona Fusion, Backstory, Biting, Blackmail, Boundaries, Buddhism, Chance Meetings, Cliche, Codependency, Coming Out, Complicated Relationships, Death Rituals, Demons, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Dramatic Irony, Drunk Sex, Dysfunctional Family, Edgeplay, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Dynamics, Family Issues, Five Years Later, Flashbacks, Forgiveness, Friendship/Love, Government Conspiracy, Gun Modification, Gunshot Wounds, Hot Springs & Onsen, Identity Reveal, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Insecurity, Jealousy, Lime, M/M, Male Friendship, Manipulative Behavior, Meet the Family, Memory Exchange, Memory Loss, Moving In Together, Moving On, Mukidashite Verse, Negotiations, Old Friends, Online Friendship, Other, POV First Person, Passive-aggression, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Character Death, Plot Twists, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prison, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Repression, Revenge, Same-Sex Marriage, Second Chances, Secrets, Self-Acceptance, Shadows (Persona 4), Shadows Becoming Human, Small Towns, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Therapy, Trust Issues, Unconditional Love, boundary testing, comp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-11-16 23:43:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 67
Words: 131,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11263476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaicchi/pseuds/Akaicchi
Summary: Kazoku ("family") is the fourth part in Mukidashite! Worlds are starting to meld as things heat up again:We left off with Adachi and Teddie having a blowout concerning Teddie’s origins.Nanako has her own strong opinions on this. She'll also take a peek at the notebook—Will it change her feelings?Adachi teaches about contracting!Speaking of Adachi—He’s supposed to be starting at Tatsumi Textiles on Tuesday! But he may need a sick day—Coercion and threats lure Dojima to drive himself, Adachi, and Kanji to Tokyo. I’m sure that long car ride will be spectacular! …And there’s an extra person coming back with them!?And what's up with Ryota? He's showing up in town—And so is Adachi. He's "reintegrating" and people are skeptical.We’re going back to more of the “human element” rather than the “persona element”. Other topics include: Adachi backstory! Doujima restraining himself from snapping at random people! Nanako and Teddie still being cute!So siddown, buckle up, and let’s do this!!Non-"Archive Warning" in Chapter(s)Last few chapters to include: talking about the future, Nanako's grandmother visits, Tohru-Kanji fight, and a slipshod party!(Updated 8/24/17)





	1. Prologue: Tensions (Kanji)

**Author's Note:**

> Two Prologues! The first rewinds by a little bit—Just a day. And the next will be totally different!! Tomorrow we have the first time Tohru saw Teddie and realized that he's his shadow!!
> 
> This is the first story that I don't have a super-defined plot arc for. Oretachi was the incident with Kubo, and Watakushi was Ryoutarou's shadow fight. I feel like Okaeri is almost more of a character study because the main plot is everyone's feelings and emotions. Same with this one. So I'm not yet sure where it'll end. I'm thinking of having it go through a wrap-up get-together either Monday or Tuesday.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We’re backing up to the day before Watakushi ended, to listen in on Kanji’s conversations with Rise and Yuu. Rise asks that he bring Yuu up to speed, because he’s feeling left out—Like Inaba life is finally slipping away form him. He hasn’t lived there in years, and it’s starting to take its toll; to put a strain on his relationships.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said the last time I had Yuu pop up... He’s extremely useful because his personality is whatever you need! (I actually feel pretty shitty about painting him as a not-get-along-er... But it’s what I need for the tension!!)
> 
> As an aside... I wonder if Yuu would also be jelly of Kanji in Mukidashite? He’s the new “leader”, basically, and close with his family.
> 
> Hnn... I didn’t put anything referencing this in the chapter, but Kanji does use more polite ways of addressing the Dojimas when he speaks to Yuu alone, rather than how he doesn’t use a suffix for Nanako and usually calls Ryoutarou “Ojisan”. I always read Kanji as pretty respectful—As long as he thought you deserved it.

Chapter Zero-One: Tensions

(Kanji)

_Teddie ain't up, so I gotta do the shopping today..._

I’m on my way to the supermarket when my phone rings, and have to fish it out of my pocket. I am happy to see its Rise!

I pick it up— _I can walk and talk._ We didn’t get a lot of free time to hang out with all the chaos involved in moving the visit up.

“’Sup?” I ask. “Have a good trip home?”

“Kanji-kun...” That doesn’t sound like a good tone to start a call with.

_Sounds more like I’m about to get scolded._

“Uh, what is it?” I nervously question.

Rise snorts. “I was just on the phone with Yuu. He says that no one invited him down to Inaba—or told him about us going into the TV World—and he’s not happy.” She pauses and I can tell she must’ve gotten chewed out.

“I— _uhh_ —thought Dojima told him?” I reply, and it sounds more like a question.

“Nn-nn. It sounded like he thought you would’ve called...”

_Not my family... And we’ve been taking the lead on the stuff left behind._

_I’m just cleaning up the leftovers._

“I didn’t think I was supposed to.” I scratch my head, slowing my pace to think this through. “If Ojisan wanted him to know, he would’ve said something, right?”

“I think...” Rise trails off. “I think he’s a little out-of-sorts.”

“You mean with frikkin’ Adachi, right?” I grumble.

“Yes,” Rise agrees. “He’s feeling left out. You should give him a call.”

_And get yelled at too?_

I groan. “I guess I can do that...”

“Thanks!” she brightens.

“You should come visit again—W-when you can,” I quickly add. _It was nice to see her and Kanami._

Rise giggles. “If I have the time~ Let me know if _you_ can come to Tokyo. It’d be a lot of fun!”

“Okay!” I eagerly tell her. “I can definitely do that on one of my off-days.”

“Our jobs really keep us all apart,” Rise sighs. We’re silent for a beat, and then she tells me she needs to run. “I have a rehearsal soon—Need to take off!”

“Bye, Rise-chan!” I respond, then mash the ‘end’ button.

_When I get home, I know I should call Yuu, but man I'm dreading it. I know Rise's askin' me to pick up the slack because she's busy—And doesn't wanna deal with it._

I get preoccupied with work and forget about calling, until I wake up Teddie to come help out. Seeing him makes me remember everything else.

_I got this..._

I say I'm taking a break and walk back into the house and go upstairs. I can't stand still as I punch in Yuu’s number and wait while it rings through.

“Kanji,” he happily says into the phone. “What can I do for you?”

“Uhh...” I falter, not sure what I should be saying.

After an awkward silence, I hear my old senpai sigh. “Rise told you, huh?” he asks.

“Uhm, do I hafta answer that?” I question in response.

He laughs softly. “No, it's okay. I figured she would tell _you_ ,” he admits. “You’ve become the sort of go-to guy for the Investigation Team. I understand that clueing me in isn’t your first priority, but they are my family.”

“Y-yeah,” I tell him. “I’m sorry. It was all so rushed, I was more worried about making sure we all lived through it.”

“Hnn,” he vocalizes. “So what brought this on? Rise didn’t tell me why you had to find my uncle’s shadow.”

_Damn. Leave that one to me, huh?_

_Thanks Rise..._

“It turns out,” I start, sweating a little. I clear my throat, stalling all I can so I don’t have to hear him yell about King Crazy. “At _some point_ —bear in mind that I _don’t_ know when—something _maybe_ happened and he, ahh, found himself inside of a TV. And we thought there might be a shadow and—Well,” I suck in a big gulp of air. “I figured better safe than sorry...?”

 _Adachi_ figured better safe than sorry.

_Definitely not me... Although I am glad we dealt with it when we did. Who knows if it could’ve clawed it’s way out and into our world if left alone for any longer._

_—I wonder how many other shadows are still wandering around in there, lost—_

_Or not-lost. And developing egos and human bodies...?_

Yuu is silent for a minute, probably gathering his thoughts before he responds. I pace up and down the hallway, feeling way too stressed—Like I’m waiting to get yelled at by a teacher or a cop.

“Do you know how he ended up inside the TV World in the first place?” Yuu asks with a surprisingly calm voice. “Because as far as I know, he never even knew the place existed.”

_Whoops. There is that..._

“True,” I state. “I think it was an accident—”

_What the hell?_

_Am I really gonna go to bat for friggin' Adachi?!_

“How can that be an accident?” my friend asks, sounding more worried than angry. “Was it—” his speech breaks off and he sighs again.

“You know what I’m asking,” Yuu repeats. “Was it Adachi? Was he trying to hurt him?”

“Yes and no,” I respond more honestly this time. “I don’t know the circumference of the situation, but Dojima-san was hurt, and Adachi says he was trying to help him. He _says_ there was some accident, and that he had to put him in there—That there wasn’t any other way to fix up whatever was wrong with him.”

Yuu is silent again. I run a hand through my hair, hoping no one’s going to blow up—

_Yuu doesn’t often lose his temper, but when he gets angry—and rightly so, in the cases I’ve witnessed—he really rips you apart._

_I hope the other one—effing Adachi—can keep his cool, too. ‘Cause I’m putting money on a confrontation._

_I guess Dojima could also lose his shit: that’s always a possibility. And if he blows up at Yuu about Adachi... It won’t be good for any of us._

“You believe him?” Yuu questions, sounding like he genuinely wants my opinion on this.

“In this case,” I breathe. “Yes.”

Yuu snorts through the line. “I trust you,” he warily replies.

“I’ve seen the weird way they interact,” I go on, trying to explain myself. But likely digging that damn hole again. “I don’t think Adachi would wanna—” I squint, trying to pick the right word. “I don’t think he’d want something bad to happen to Dojima-san.”

“Really?” Yuu counters. “Because we all know how that worked out last time.”

“Y-yeah.”

_Me pinning Dojima to the hospital floor so he wouldn’t fucken’ kill himself..._

_Effing shadows..._

I try again. “It really seems like he’s trying to protect the old man.”

“From what?” Yuu asks, his voice flipping back to concerned. “What's wrong in Inaba now?”

“W-well...”

_Kubo. Other grudges._

_Apparently demons._

_Things trying to pull their way out of the TVs..._

“You n-never really kn-know!” is all I can tell him—Trying to evade the question so he doesn’t have to worry about stuff that should work itself out.

“Alright,” Yuu gives in a little. “I’ll try and come down soon. Please keep watching over my family.”

“Of course!” I tell him. “I wouldn’t do anything else.” I smile to myself. _They’re kinda like my family now, too._

“Good b—” he starts to say, but I cut him off.

“You, ah, hear about Nanako and Ted, by the way?” I ask.

I hear him hum as he tries to recall any news. “No,” he replies. “But I know they’re very close. Did something happen?”

“Not really, but it’s so obvious now that they like each other. It’s kinda cute, but also weird. He still acts like a ten-year-old...” I laugh. “I really don’t know what to do with him. It’s like—Does he even know what it means to be in a relationship with someone?”

“I don’t know,” Yuu confides. “Has he spent time around anyone _in_ a relationship?”

_Right now I really, really wish he didn’t practically live at the Dojimas’..._

“N-not really,” I quickly reply.

_The ojisan ain’t good role models. That’s for damn sure!_

_More like how not to act..._

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” my friend laughs. “They’re both good kids.”

“Hell yeah!” I agree. “Okay—I gotta get going.”

“See you, Kanji,” Yuu says. “Let me know if anything’s wrong.”

“I will!” I tell him and hang up, feeling relived things should start to finally settle down.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/9/17


	2. Prologue: Shadows of the Past (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The scene from when Tohru first saw Teddie, a short scene after he came out of the TV World, and then Tohru stressing about the shadow that’s just been re-suppressed. (There’s no specific time when the last scene happens, but I’m saying Saturday.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes yes... I KNOW that in canon Teddie ends up thinking he was just an “ordinary shadow” and all, but we’re still doing suspended disbelief, right? He was just trying to desperately make sense of it all, right?? He finally remembered a little and he DOES come from Tohru!!! (For Mukidashite purposes, anyhow.)  
> And I know it might painful... But I’m probably going to tease and hint about the circumstances surrounding Teddie’s designs for a while. This theme for Part IV is “Family”, so we’ll cover it, but Ryoutarou’s family is demanding (literally) more attention... I have two more original characters locked and loaded. I hope I can execute this properly!!

Chapter Zero-Two: Shadows of the Past

(Tohru)

I started to act more like my real self after I pushed Yamano in.

_It was a shock, seeing her strung up like that..._

_Is that what he meant by ‘taken care of’?_

_I can’t say it's what I wanted, but she was a dumb bitch. And it‘s not like I literally killed her—It was that other guy who looks like me..._

_Pretending to be me. Said he'd help me..._

_The more I think about the way it all happened, the more I realize I really can do whatever I want..._

_I can’t be blamed if there’s no real evidence, right?_

_Heh~_

_I can do whatever I want!_

_Just have to keep my head down enough—Play the fool._

_I really can do whatever I want~!_

_But I do want to know what really happened._

_...I do wonder what it’s like in there—Inside of the TV._

I decide to go for it. I bet I can get back through.

I place my hand, palm-down, on the television screen, but meet no resistance. It passes right through— _Feels like the pins-and-needles you get when you fall asleep on your arm._

It works!

_Couldn’t hurt too much to check it out. I can avoid the other guy and find out more about that place—Whatever it is._

_He seemed to need me, alive so I think I’m safe._

I set my TV on the floor and slide my way in—Like how you’d enter a pool from the ledge. I feel the now-familiar falling, then land awkwardly, one leg bending in a not-great direction _. It’s only my second time in here. I can’t expect to learn right away._

_I never was the quickest study._

The scenery is much different than before—It’s been so _completely_ retooled that there’s no way it can even be the same place!!

_Good—He won’t be able to find me._

_And now I know there are more places to explore. It’s like finding hidden levels in a game you think you’ve hundred-percented. Like DLC. Or a new-game-plus._

I hear myself chuckling and am surprised I can laugh at the absurdity of everything. But I guess that’s why it’s funny—Still hasn’t quite sunk in.

It looks like I’ve stepped onto a movie set. The floor is tiled in red and purple, while a yellow mist permeates the air. Trusses and ladders and bridges lead out from the main soundstage.

_Wish it looked more like a game—The way the other place did. But I am inside of a television. It makes sense that it would look like a film set._

I amble around, taking in the odd design etched into the target pattern on the center of the main floor. There are figures scratched in. The look like police outlines of bodies.

_Sweet._

_That’s a nice complement to the crime scene tape in the other world._

_And the people look like they’re all being sucked into a vortex._

_They looked shocked! Helpless!_

_Fucking hysterical—Wish they had faces I could see..._

Not wanting to get lost, I slowly pick my way down a few of the suspended trails, noting how they connect and which ones loop back to the main area.

After I’ve been walking for a time, I start to hear a funny, repetitive noise. _It’s like a squeaky, dripping, upbeat..._

I peer through the light haze enshrouding the area. There’s a figure walking parallel to me, but it’s a few paths away.

_I don’t think it sees me... Just keeps waving what must be arms._

I continue heading in my original direction, careful to avoid crossing paths. I draw my altered Nambu— _I’ve already killed one person, so what’s the harm? Doesn’t even look human. It’s too short._

“Helloooo~” I hear, and assume it’s the creature. “Is anyone bear?”

I freeze— _It can’t see me, right?_

“I wanna play!! Someone please talk to me! I’m so beary super-duper friendly! Grr~”

I shudder, but keep circling the main platform. The creature gets closer and closer until I can make it out—No more than thirty feet away, now.

When he comes into better focus—thankfully headed away from me—my entire body seizes.

_I can’t move—_

_Can’t think—_

_CAN’T BE HAPPENING—_

He looks like a brightly-colored stuffed bear. Like a toy.

He looks like a very _specific_ toy.

He looks like the toy bear my—

I drop to the ground from a sudden, sharp pain zinging through my head.

_‘Why are you here?’_

“Huh?” I whisper. “Who—”

_‘It’s me—You. You made another shadow! It’s going to be unstable. Hurry up and accept it!’_

“N-n-no!” I quietly hiss. “That’s not mine—”

_‘It clearly is. Now take care of it. There shouldn’t be more than one wandering around or I wont be as powerful. Go!!’_

“Anyone?” the bear calls again. “I’m so _beary lonely_ ~ I would love to meet you! And talk! And play~~”

I clutch my head with one hand, and point the Nambu through the mist and light with the other.

_Maybe I could accept the other one—I’m clearly off._

_But this._

_Not happening—I will not go there and think about that._

_Will not. Will not—WILL NOT!!!_

I see the _thing_ begin to turn around and I stay down—Hoping the railings will hide me well enough.

“I-I’m so scared all by myself...” is whines. “Please play with me!”

I can see it’s mouth curving up a little and the hair on my arms stands up. _It’s trying to smile while it’s crying._

_NO._

_I don’t want to see this—I can’t handle this—I need to get out of here!!_

The next thing I know, I’m back in my apartment, being ejected from the television screen. I barely have time to register getting pitched into the air before I land hard again.

I spend the rest of the evening shaking. Sitting on the floor of my apartment with my gun loaded and the safety off.

\---***---

The next time I see that goddamn bear, it’s at Junes.

I’m slacking off while pretending to pick up coffee, and I see it zoom into the food court, right up to those fucking brats. And the little fuckers act like it’s _totally normal_ that something clearly not-human came out of _that_ world and into _this one_.

I almost shit my pants when it pops off the top of its costume and _a little blond boy jumps out_.

Said boy looking suspiciously like a younger me, minus my hair and eye colors. The hair is unstyled, just swept to the side the way I used to wear it, not bothering to cut it practically ever.

I begin to sweat and duck back behind one of the banners proclaiming the specials. I do _not_ want to get close to _that thing_...

I avoid him as much as possible during the coming months, though he doesn’t seem to recognize me at all. Which is good.

I like to pretend it doesn’t exist.

\---***---

Now that Marie re-suppressed my shadow, I should be good for a while. As long as I can stay away from other shadows—and the TV World—for a time, I’ll be able to learn to control it again. He won’t be able to pop into my head as easily.

Which is good because he’s damn irritating. _Wants me to fall back into my old patterns of apathy and cruelty._

I can do better. I’m starting over—And they’re having me live here, like they think I can do it.

_I have to do it._

But can I do better if he’s _still a part of me_?

_Can I even eject him at this point?_

I know I’ll always have the same impulses and needs, but if I can tone it down—Blunt it at least a little like I did before I was dragged through my own fucking television—

Then maybe it’ll be okay.

_I can be me and be decent..._

_At least half-decent._

_I can settle for that and I think Ryoutarou would, too._

But if he’s still a part of me...

_Will I never be able to move on?_

_Will it be possible to break out of this cycle?_

If he just stays suppressed, then he can’t egg me on. He won’t be able to activate whatever else he was keeping up his metaphorical sleeve.

_Please—No more surprises..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edit 7/8/17


	3. Not the Same (Nanako)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first regular chapter! Nanako helps Teddie work it out.  
> (See notes for info on Prologues...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. I hit turbulence and couldn't get the notebook chapter up to par. It didn't feel like I had their voices down properly. So I cut it for now... Once again, we're losing a prologue. Straight to the first chapter!! I saved my attempt, though, so maybe we can revisit it later on.
> 
> I pushed to get this one out faster than I wanted. It’s about 300 words under my self-imposed minimum of 1000 per post. Therefore, I will put up the second chapter tomorrow instead of Monday! (It’s Tohru and ~1400 words!)
> 
> I commented back to Casey asking if I'm going too far this time with my interpretations and scheming. It's EVERYONE'S job to let me know if I should be reigning it in... This whole series has been a big writing experiment, and I'm somewhat attempting to cater to my audience. So I definitely want to know if it's veering too far off from Persona-Persona for everyone ^^;
> 
> As a separate note: My Teddie theory is JUST that he was Adachi's shadow. All backstory I'm conjuring is Mukidashite-only. We never get much canon backstory for Adachi and I wanted to take a crack at it. I've seen a lot of interpretations that he grew up in an abusive environment, and you've probably guessed I'm going that direction.

 Chapter One: Not the Same

(Nanako)

I can only watch as my best friend cries these huge, hiccupping sobs.

_I feel so useless._

Teddie has always been there for me—Has continued to be the one to cheer me up the easiest and most often.

What can _I_ do?

"Teddie..." I enunciate. "Teddie, it's okay."

He shakes his head. "I—Its not!"

"What did Tohru-jisan say?" I ask.

"E-enough for me to know I'm right."

I put my arm around his shoulders and he doesn't shrink away like he has the past few days. "You've always been you—You don't know any different, and neither do I." He peeks over at me, tears still sliding down his hurt-contorted face.

"I mean it. Think of it like having a parent you don't like or don't agree with... _He's him and you're you—_ You may be related, but you're not the same. And I'll never see you any different than my Teddie."

"But I probably have some of—"

"You _don't_ ," I assert. "I like Tohru-jisan, but he's not you. He's not always nice, but you are. You always put other people before yourself as if it's the first thing on your mind. You're selfless and caring and loving. And that's part of what makes you who you are."

"Wh-what if I'm not? If I stopped always being nice, would I still be me?"

I nod. " _Yes._ You have your own mind and your own memories—And those are what make you decide how to live. They're what make you _you_."

"What—W-what if I got the memories back? Then I'd be the same as him..."

"Nn-nn!" I shake my head back and forth. "You'd still have all the new things that are only _yours_. He'll never have the same experiences that you've been through since you came out of the TV World, and you'll never know what he's been through since you split apart."

Teddie wipes his eyes and nose. I feel a small smile form on my lips as I pass him a tissue to clean himself. "But..." he begins. "But what if the memories are _scary_?"

_I think they will be..._

"Then..." I trail off, trying to figure out a positive way to spin this. "I'll be there. I promise I'll help you through it." I take Teddie's hand in mine. " _You can always call me and I'll get there super-fast!_ " I smile at him as I repeat the proclamation he gave me last week. He squeezes my hand and proffers a thin smile of his own.

"And look at it this way—You'll know what it was like to be him. Maybe you can help everyone else understand what he went through and why he is the way he is." I bite my lip, watching Teddie absorb and process that idea.

"Yeah," he replies. "That... Could be a good thing..."

"He doesn't really let any of us in," I continue. "And none of us know why—I don't even think Dad does. I know he gets frustrated that Tohru-jisan acts weird and can't tell us what he's feeling." _It makes me sad._ "Because If you don't have the memories, maybe he doesn't, either."

Teddie finally starts looking a better. "Mm!" he vigorously nods his head, then snaps it around to look at the stairway. "Sh-should we go talk to him?" he asks me.

"Not yet," I answer. "It sounds like he calmed down, but let's wait till Dad comes back down—We don't really know."

"Okay," Teddie agrees, wiping his face one more time. Then he scoots closer to me so we're touching.

He's always been needy—He regularly presses the boundaries of physical contact with everyone, even though most of the guys give him crap. He's always held my hand and hugged me a lot.

But I've never wanted to hug _him_ so much. I reach out and put my arm around Teddie again and he snuggles into me. I laugh when he closes his eyes and looks abruptly more at ease. I rub his light hair and he makes a happy little noise and sniffles some more.

_We'll all be fine..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/8/17


	4. Changes (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We cut in on Tohru’s panic attack. Ryoutarou tries to help him out and then they go back downstairs to confront the situation! Yay! Settling things for once...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excited that bits of Tohru's backstory are creeping through again!!
> 
> Anybody notice it’s canon that Teddie grows a little by the next year? As a human young-person, he changes! They can change!

Chapter Two: Changes

(Tohru)

He said _it_ —

_He fucking said it!!_

I know I'm screaming—I'm aware that I'm letting out long, ululating sounds over and over and over again—

But I can't do it.

I don't want to remember—Not that he _was_ a part of me.

Not that I ran— _terrified_ —when I saw the bubbly bear talking to no one. I saw him wandering around, looking both happy and scared— _as if that's even a thing_ —searching for other people or shadows to play with.

He would've talked to anyone; bright-eyed and expecting he best. He would've trusted even _me_ —The twisted, haunted-house of a mind he came from.

If I didn't run I would have torn him to ribbons—

_No one can be that innocent and trusting._

It's not how you _survive_.

I never thought I'd see that stuffed bear again as long as I lived. I couldn't have— _It was handmade and then destroyed! I slipped it under her arm before she was cremated—_

_I never should have seen it again!_

The fact that _someone_ or _something_ looking like a carbon copy of my "best friend" could have popped up on the other side could _only_ mean that it came from me.

The fact that it tried to smile and used the same stupid puns I imagined someone so colorful would—

I couldn't allow myself anywhere _near_ it—

_It knew too much..._

Of course it turned out that he had no memories—Either because he was modeled after my old bear— _stuffed animals don't have memories_ —or because I've tried so hard to shove it all down...

_I'll never know._

All I _do_ know is that he had to have come out of _my_ mind.

A perfect copy of everything I'd hoped the world to be: happy, colorful, friendly, trusting, talkative-energetic-upbeat-unhurt-friendlyhappylovinghonestkind _trusting_ —

Everything I _can't_ be.

Everything I learned was _useless_.

Everything I—

"—AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—" I continue to screech, trying to curl up tighter, trying to be as small as possible. But there are hands tugging at me, pulling me out of the corner.

I finally stop yelling because it feels like I'm being practically covered— _Feels safe._ I can feel myself being held on to tightly, as if it's coming from all around me.

When I open my eyes, I can't see anything. When I try to move my head, I meet resistance for a few seconds, until Ryoutarou jerks away to let me look up.

He has his arms around me, holding me to his chest. I think his chin was on top of my head. And he even managed to pull me to him in a way that his legs encircle the spot where my body touches the floor.

He looks down, meeting my eyes with his. Looking absurdly worried.

"Hey," he softly speaks.

"H-hey," I manage.

Ryoutarou sighs and nudges my head back down so I'm all curled up again. "Don't worry," he soothes. "Don't rush. Take as much time as you need..."

I can feel him breathing. It jostles me back and forth a little and _is_ kind of funny. I'm a little squished, but this doesn't feel _bad_.

 _It feels like someone cares._ Like he was so desperate that I wouldn't come out of the corner—which I probably wouldn't—that all he could think to do was to _be_ the corner.

When I finally know I'll be okay, I try to lift my head again and he moves his own out of the way. "Want me to get up?" Ryoutarou questions.

I shake my head. " _Never,_ " I reply, snorting out a few shaky laughs. I ball my hand in his shirt so Ryoutarou _can’t_ easily move away.

He sucks in a deep breath and holds it for some time before letting it go. "You're not gonna tell me what the hell happened." _It's a statement. Not a question._

"No," I reply. "I can't do that right now—Can't even think about it."

Ryoutarou nods and rubs my back. "Alright."

"How is..." I leave my sentence unfinished.

"He was really bawling," Ryoutarou sighs. "Did you, _ah_ —Were you mean to him?" He stills his hand when he asks, as if he's afraid I meant to upset the kid.

"No," I say. "Not on purpose, at least." I search Ryoutarou's face, hoping he knows I'm telling the truth.

He smiles the tiniest bit. "Good. He seems fragile."

_'He seems fragile', huh?_

Bet you'd _love_ to know where he came from.

Which “fragile” individual produced something like _that_.

I chew on my lip, not looking foreword to dealing with this. “We should go down...”

“Yes,” Ryoutarou nods. “You should talk it out.” He covers my hand with his, and I release him with a huff.

I stand first, pushing on his shoulders to get to my feet. I still feel shaky. Still feel as though I can't talk about this.

_But I'm out of time, aren't I?_

I extend my hand down to Ryoutarou and drag him to his feet, too. When I try to let go, he doesn't release my hand, just pulls me out of the room behind him.

In the hallway, I notice you can't hear the kid's not crying anymore. _I can't hear anything from downstairs, really. Are they even still here?_

I let Ryoutarou lead me down to the fist floor, and he shakes his head when we find the two kids sitting on the couch. Nanako's reading with one arm curled around Teddie, who's fallen asleep learning against her.

"Tuckered him out, huh?" Ryoutarou asks.

Nanako nods, grimacing. "He was really upset. He knows where he came from, Tohru-jisan," she pointedly tells me.

I can't help snarling, which earns me a groan from Ryoutarou, who squeezes my hand—hard—then yanks me in front of him. "Tell me what's going on," he demands. "One of you."

I raise my eyebrows when Ryoutarou turns his gaze to Nanako. _I don't wanna tell him._

_Can we make something up?_

_But I guess that's what got me here to begin with..._

I sigh through clenched teeth, and stare at the sleeping boy. "He was... He was of my shadows," I grudgingly admit. "I didn't want him to know— _I_ didn't want to know."

I roughly scratch at my head. "He's my opposite and he knows it, but we share a lot of similarities, too. It probably freaked him out..."

"No—" Ryoutarou shakes his head, baffled. "That can't be right..." He drops my hand and walks over to the other two. Nanako doesn't move when he draws closer, just tightens her grip on Teddie.

"It's true," she confesses. "But he's _him_. He never had any of Tohru-jisan's memories. He's a completely different person."

Ryoutarou reaches them and bends over, examining the boy's face closely for the fist time. "There is a _faint_ resemblance..." he mutters. "But that's too weird," he balks.

“Ryota doesn’t look like a clone of you,” I point out.

"They're totally different people," Nanako repeats, avowing her position. "Back up and give him space," she defiantly tells her father.

"Because _he_ gives everyone so much space," I quip.

Nanako glares at me, but doesn't say anything. Ryoutarou indeed backs up, looking stunned—Once again the last to know.

_He's not gonna like that..._

I sling my arm and his shoulder and guide him to the tall table. "Here," I try, attempting to control the situation more. "Take a seat and we'll wake him up and figure it out."

_If it's going to be this much of an upset I guess I have to deal with it._

_Fuck. Am I being responsible?_

"Wake him up," I instruct Nanako, sighing. "Let's get this over with."

She glances between myself and Ryoutarou, then gently shakes Teddie and he makes some whiny noises before opening his eyes and looking around the room. His face falls when he sees everyone watching him so expectantly.

"...We did talk about it, right?" he quietly asks Nanako. She nods and his eyes shoot back to me. "I'm right, aren't I? We're the same?"

"We're not the _same_ ," I tell him, annoyance lacing my voice. "You don't have my memories, and you don't look much like me at all."

_Maybe when he gets older..._

_Yuck that's weird._

"Look, kid," I try again, yanking at my hair and pacing around the coffee table. "You're so different there is no way you could ever be like me unless you got head trauma—Which I can help you with, but..."

Nanako rolls her eyes and pats Teddie's shoulder. "Don't worry about him," she tells the boy. "I told you how I feel and that's all that matters. I think Kanji will feel the same."

Teddie's face falls. "I-I-I have to t-tell him, too?"

"You should," Nanako replies. "I'll come with you if you want."

"Okay," he reluctantly agrees, looking around at everyone.

Nanako bookmarks her page and stands. “Let’s get it over with.”

Teddie’s eyes widen and he shrinks back into the couch. “Right now?”

“Yes,” Nanako tells him. “This way we can relax the rest of the day,” she grins. “Kanji won’t care and then you’ll feel better.”

“Can we stop for snacks first?” the kid innocently asks.

Nanako giggles and extends her hand to him, looking about to give a positive response, when we all turn at the abrupt sound of Ryoutarou’s chair scraping across the floor. He walks into the kitchen and rummages around the basket of snacks.

He walks over to the boy and holds out his hand. “Here,” he tells him. “Do you like these?”

_That’s my melonpan!_

I don’t have a chance to complain before Teddie ascends on it. “That’s my _favorite_!” the boy whoops.

Ryoutarou smiles sadly. “Of course it is,” he mutters. We watch the kids put on their shoes and leave, chattering the whole time. Then he turns to me and shakes his head. “I believe you.”

I huff and roll my eyes. “Why would I lie about that?”

Shrugging, Ryoutarou tosses a second package to me. “Feel any better?” he asks.

I nod and walk to the couch—I won’t open it right away.

_I can’t be bribed._

Once I’m sitting, though, I dig right in. I hear him snicker as he loads the coffeemaker.

“So, what?” Ryoutarou asks in a joking tone. “You really are a kid on the inside?”

My irritation surfaces and I don't answer. I just keep stuffing my mouth full of bread so I don’t snap. When he turns around to see if I’m even listening, I brazenly wad up the plastic wrapper and throw it to the floor.

Ryoutarou rolls his eyes and comes over. He picks up the wrapper and places it on the low table before sitting down next to me. “What?” he asks, searching me.

“We’re nothing alike.”

“Not even a little?” Ryoutarou raises an eyebrow, challenging.

“ _No_ ,” I tell him.

Ryoutarou ignores me and continues. “Cause isn’t he supposed to be a part of your personality, even if it’s buried deep in there?” He taps my chest for emphasis and I frown. “Because your reaction when I gave you melonpan last week was very similar.”

I glare. “That’s _one_ thing,” I guardedly reply.

Ryoutarou’s eyes light up and he tries a different tactic. “What about...” He starts to stand and I reflexively grab his wrist.

_Dammit—_

I realize as soon as I’ve done it that he means I’m needy. I groan and release him. Ryoutarou sits back down and smiles at me. “I don’t have to say anything, do I?” he questions.

I grunt and scoot away from him. I sit in my usual seat and draw my knees to my chest.

I watch as Ryoutarou goes to retrieve the fresh coffee. He pours it into our mugs and carries it back over. I’m handed mine and he plops back down next to me.

“There’s no sugar or anything,” I grumble.

Ryoutarou sips his own hot drink and glances at me mischievously. “You don’t hate it as much as you used to.”

“So?” I scoff. “I still don’t _like_ it...” I take a sip as I wait for him to make his point.

_But it isn’t awful._

“You’re making a face,” Ryoutarou laughs a little and takes the mug back form me. He places them on the low table and looks at me with a serious expression. Then he sighs and scratches his neck, moving closer so he can pull me to him.

I don’t cooperate. So he grumbles and simply picks me up off the couch so he can hold me. I scowl, which prompts a sigh from him.

“Look—” Ryoutarou tries. “Just be you. Don’t push something away because you think it makes us see you differently. Be excited if you want—I don’t give a shit.” His forehead creases and he shakes his head. “Actually, I like it. But you seem to think showing off that side of you to anyone else makes you seem weak.”

I glare cautiously.

Ryoutarou sighs again and bonks our heads together. “I’m serious...” He turnsaway a little so I can’t see his face.

_Aggravating—_

I let go of my knees to grab his hair and yank so he’s looking at me again. Ryoutarou groans, agitated.

“I’m happy,” he haltingly confesses. “That I know there’s a part of you that’s so...”

He stops speaking, a pained expression playing over his features. But it’s okay because I’m finishing that sentence again in my head:

_Happy._

_Friendly._

_Trusting._

_Unhurt._

_Any of those work._

“I’m fine,” I answer, trying to brush this off.

“Of course,” he easily replies. “But—” Ryoutarou shifts me so he can reach out to grab my mug. “Things change.” He hands it to me and I grimace, knowing he expects me to drink it again—And that it _will_ prove his point.

I take a sip as he picks up his own. “Don’t force it one way or the other. I’ll meet you where you’re at.”

I watch my partner as I drain the nasty—okay only kind-of nasty—coffee. _He looks content._

_How does he do that?_

_He’s got his own unique set of challenges and hang-ups, but he acts like everything will work out._

_I tell people that things will be fine—But I don’t usually mean it._

_He seems so sure of himself._

_—And he seems so sure of me._

“Teach me how to do that,” I mumble into the cup.

“Hmm?” Ryoutarou asks, probably pulling himself out of his own thoughts.

I shake my head. “I said it needs sugar, old man. You going deaf?”

Ryoutarou pushes me off him, then jabs me hard in the side. “Change does take time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/8/17


	5. Before the Storm (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryoutarou wakes Tohru up to spend a few minutes together before work. Tohru obviously gets him riled up... At work, we get to see some interactions between Ryoutarou and his coworkers. Then he hears from Tarou again—And it’s the thing to get the ball rolling on the “Kazoku” drama.
> 
> I can’t be the only one who’s ever wondered where the hell the rest of the Doujima clan is, right? Yuu’s out in Tokyo; Ryoutarou’s in Inaba—And he hadn’t seen Yuu since he was a kid. So? Where is everyone else? You’d think if Nanako‘s mom died, some of her relatives would at least check in on the poor kid. In today’s chapter, we’re going to get a little more of the drama I’ve cooked up to fill in some blanks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention before that Sakamoto’s first name is Ryuuji? I’ve been feeling like it’s kind of weird that Doujima never calls him by his first name when they’re kinda friends and have known each other for forever. During my recent revisions, I added two instances in Oretachi where he uses Sakamoto’s first name to attempt to address this.
> 
> I honestly didn’t come up with a first name for him until I was a little ways through Oretachi—Before that he was supposed to be just a filler character. But then I realized I was missing opportunities for them to discuss things bothering Doujima and for them to have each other’s backs. As Doujima mentioned in Watakushi, he’s definitely closer to Kanji, but I mean come on! Even shut-ins have more friends than he does!!! (Mostly internet friends, but I digress...)

Chapter Three: Before the Storm

(Ryoutarou)

_Monday..._

Today I officially return to work. I’ve dropped in a few times to check on things—and argue with Sakamoto—but haven't done anything official or turned in my overdue reports.

I run through my normal routine, paging through my notes to brush up while I brew enough coffee to fill the new thermos. I finish off the higher priority files first, shoving them into my bag after I eat. I know Yamamura will bring me up to speed when I arrive, but it’s always better to act professional.

_I need to give Yamamura some reason to trust me. I can’t blame him if he’s wary, now that he knows about Tohru._

_Best foot foreword..._

When everything is in order, I head back upstairs to say goodbye to Tohru. I laugh at the reality that starting tomorrow, he’ll have to be up at this hour, too. _I doubt it’ll go smoothly._

Pushing the door open the rest of the way, I can see he’s still out. He didn’t so much as stir when I awoke. I had to extricate myself forcefully—shoving Tohru away hard—but it didn’t seem to bother him a bit.

I sit on the futon and feel my mouth turn up in a smile. He’s buried under the covers even though it’s still summer. I slide them aside and lay down next to him for a minute.

"Good morning," I tell Tohru, drawing him to me. He nestles in and yawns. I rub the back of his head and smile, thinking maybe things will finally calm down. "I have to leave for work soon..."

"Yeah," Tohru sighs. "Too bad."

I chuckle. "Like you'll even miss me—Bet you'll go straight back to bed the second I'm out the door..." Tohru pulls away so he can study my face.

He blinks a few times, looking a little more alert. Tohru breaks out in that goofy grin of his. "No, _Sir_!"

"Oi!" I dig my finger into his ribs and he yips. "I know you're trying to rile me up but I still don't like that."

Tohru rolls his eyes. "Can't take a joke, huh old man?"

"I don't care for _that_ , either."

He giggles and it turns into another yawn. "Can't send you off to work in a good mood. _That's_ not the Ryou I know!"

I sigh. "I'm a little different than you remember. I mostly try to get along—As you can see by how I've _not_ decked Yamamura."

"Really?" Tohru earnestly questions, eyeing me suspiciously. "The only guy at the station I haven't seen you whack is Sakamoto. And I assumed that's because he's your friend."

"Nope. I've punched him, too," I admit. "Not recently—But back at the beginning. We started here at the same time, so he's technically my peer."

"No one's safe~" Tohru mocks.

I grunt. "He told me I have to cut it out. I need to get a hold of my temper. _I've been trying._ "

Tohru stares at me and nods thoughtfully. "I have noticed," he quietly acknowledges.

"I'm going to be better." I grin. "... _And_ I was told I'll get suspended next time I'm caught decking anyone. That maybe helped make me commit to it."

"What?" Tohru scoffs. "All because your last partner snapped so bad? It's not because you'd hit me—You _do know_ that, right?"

I exhale. "I used to wonder." Tohru scrunches up his face, looking hurt. "I don't worry so much anymore. That's why I still do _this_ —" I try to hold in another laugh as I lightly tap his side where I previously dug in my finger.

Tohru flinches away and hisses at me. "You remember when I told you that you _can't_ hurt me anymore? That still hurts— _Because you're poking right between my ribs!_ "

I roll my eyes and rub the spot. "That's the _point_. How else can I keep you in line?"

"You can't. No matter what you do!" He bares his teeth and gives me the evil grin.

"I love you, but you can be a real goddamn trial..." I look at the man before me and shake my head. "Alright. I have to get moving."

"Already?" Tohru pouts.

"Yes. I have a meeting first thing with Sakamoto and Yamamura."

"You spend the whole day with Yamamura, don't you?" he grumbles. "I don't like him."

I sigh. "Well my last partner was fired... Or I'd be spending my days with _him_ , you know."

Tohru glowers, looking particularly nasty. I rub his back before I start to pull away.

"Hey you know what I didn't get to do the other day?" Tohru smirks, brightening. He slots his hand behind my head and curls his fingers around as much hair as possible so I can't get up.

I tiredly sigh, knowing it can't be anything good by the look on his face. "What?"

Tohru burrows into the crook of my neck, moving my collar aside to nuzzle his face there. It makes me I relax a little— _Until I feel a pressure and the sharp jolt of teeth._

I groan, which just makes the jackass clamp down _harder_.

"Seriously?!" I demand when he finally pulls away. "I have to go to work today—Why the hell would you _do_ that?"

He leers and gives me a smug look.

"Tohru." I speak slowly, hoping he'll get the fucking message this time. "You need to cut that shit out."

He doesn't look a bit remorseful. Just self-satisfied. "It won't even show." He continues to smirk lazily at me, taunting. "You want me to be myself..."

"Tohru," I repeat, aggravated. "I _love_ you. I'm _yours_. What else do you want me to say?"

He pulls at the collar of my shirt so he can see the mark he made. I slap his hand away. "Reverse the order of importance and it'll be _something_ ," he snidely huffs.

"I'm not pandering to your possessiveness." I tangle my hand in his hair and yank him back so we're looking at each other. "I really don't get you," I whisper.

"It's pretty simple," he replies. " _I'm_ pretty simple. I don't like that I have to stay here all day while you're out there having fun with fucking Yamamura."

" _'Having fun'?_ " I incredulously spit. "Do you even remember what work was like?!" I rap my knuckles on his head, moving from annoyance to displeasure. "I sit at a desk and write reports, or walk around town solving petty crimes!"

I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to calm down. "I don't particularly care for any of my coworkers except Sakamoto—And he's way, _way_ below Kanji and Teddie."

Tohru guardedly takes that in. "Really?"

"Do you know I got in trouble for chewing Yamamura out because he used your old work-mug? It's still on the bookcase and I didn't like the thought of it going to someone else."

_When he wasn't here, it did feel too close to replacing him. Maybe now I'll get along with Yamamura better. Maybe..._

_We'll see._

" _Really?_ " the edge of Tohru's mouth quirks up.

_Yeah. That makes him happy..._

"Yes," I groan. "Now I have to go. Let me up."

He relents and curls back under the sheet. "Bye," Tohru mumbles. "Wake me when you get home..."

"You'd better be up long before that!" I call behind myself as I slide the door shut.

 _I'll call him during lunch to make sure._ I sigh to myself as I collect my things and walk to the car.

_A schedule is going to be good. The shithead needs structure._

\---***---

"Morning, Sir!" Yamamura happily calls when I enter the office.

I reflexively glare at him. _More of this crap._

“Hi,” I tiredly reply, setting down my bag. I sit and start unpacking everything.

I see Yamamura walking over out of the corner of my eye, and I glance up. He’s got a little slip of paper. I frown. “I’m on time—There’s already a call?”

The guy nods, passing it to me. “He said it was urgent.”

I read the details: Tarou; from an unlisted number.

_We’re going to do this first thing, yeah?_

I run a hand through my hair and groan. “There wasn’t a number to reach him back at?” I question to be sure.

Yamamura shakes his head, looking nervous. “No. He said he’d call again later.”

I sigh and crumple up the paper. “Did he say where he was?”

“...No.”

“Great.” I nod to the kid and find the notes I’ll need for the meeting. “He’ll call back. Let’s go.”

In the conference room, I place my things at one end of the curved table. Yamamura starts to put his bag down at the seat next to mine, so I shove my thermos over. He takes the hint and slides down one, looking disappointed.

It takes a real effort not to roll my eyes.

A few other men and women file into the room and find seats, with Sakamoto rolling through the door right on time. He almost smiles, but quashes it quickly.

“Ryou,” he nods to me.

“Ryuuji,” I curtly reply, matching formality.

He pushes my tumbler away and drops a load of files at the last open seat. “Guess no one else missed Dojima, huh?” he quips, searching for his notes.

I hear someone snicker, but they stop when I sweep my gaze around the room. _Like I give a shit._

_But I will have respect._

Sakamoto smirks at me before he walks up front to get the ball rolling. When he finishes the announcements, everyone with business presents one by one.

When it’s Yamamura’s turn, I lean over as if to confer with Sakamoto. “Does that suspension come with pay?” I question.

“Chief’s discretion,” he evenly replies.

“So if I were gunning for the chief...”

Sakamoto shakes his head. “Maybe you’d get fined.”

“Too bad,” I sigh, straightening. “I could use a vacation.”

My friend snorts. “You could use a different career. Maybe a mountain somehwere’s missing its ogre.”

“Can’t suspend me if I’m off the clock.”

As a bonus, Yamamura’s staring at us bug-eyed—Like he thinks we’re critiquing him. I smile, barely able to keep from laughing, and the color drains from his face.

_Can they send me one person who knows how to give a presentation...?_

After the meeting, an operator stops me in the hall to let me know I have an important call waiting. I thank them and rush back to my office, grabbing a pen and notepad.

“Dojima,” I say into the phone.

"H-hi, Ryoutarou-san," a weary voice greets me. "It's Tarou—As you probably guessed."

"Yes?" I grunt. "What happened?"

He stalls, dragging out the first syllable. "I, ah, I've been detained. I don't know by whom. They told me I should use my one phone call on you."

"Oi!" I interject. "That can't be enforced. You're allowed as many calls as you need..." I rub my forehead; can already tell this is going to be one hell of a chat.

"Heh," Tarou sighs. "These people are heavily armed. I'm inclined to listen."

_Yup. Fucking knew it._

"You're with Naichou, aren't you?" I demand.

"N-not sure..."

"Haaah," I exhale. "What do they want?"

"One minute... They're writing down an address—" I can Tarou "mm-hmm"ing and scribbling down more information. "Okay. Alright—I-I'll tell him." I hear an annoyed noise as he turns back to the phone.

"They say you can have the papers—They'll give you the kid's documentation—But you need to pick it up in person. At an address in Narita, and—What?" he asks someone else. "That's a weird demand..."

_Ohh fuck._

"What is it?" I bark.

"They said you're to bring a guest for the day. They want you to bring Nanako-chan?" his voice rises at the end, as though he knows how nuts it all sounds.

_Of course they do._

"Yeah," I snort. "I figured as much..." I trail off as I consider everything. "Tarou—" I start. "Do they have any other dirt on you?"

"No way!" he immediately relies. "I've been on the straight-and-narrow!"

"I figured." I groan and scratch the back of my head.

_This is a shitty thing to do, but..._

_I’m calling the bluff._

"Tarou?" I query. "Tell them I can't accept the offer. I'm fairly certain they'll just let you go and I'll be back to square one with Kuma. Which is _fine_."

" _W-what_ _?_ " he gasps. "You're not going to get me out of here?"

_He sounds pretty panicked—They'll let him go._

_I'm sure._

"No, sorry. I can't accept their terms." I yank out a cigarette and light it, not giving a flying whatever that I'm at work and Yamamura is watching me like I'm some neon-colored alien.

"D-dojima-san?" my partner calls form across the room. “Is everything okay?”

_Must look angry..._

I wave Yamamura off, motioning for him to shut his trap.

Tarou is still conferring nervously with whoever is over there. "Uh—Ryoutarou-san. They're willing to negotiate... But it's weird. It smells funny—"

"What are their new terms?" I question, cutting the other man off. "Probably not as far-fetched as they seem."

"We-ell..."

"Spit it out!" I command.

Tarou sighs. "They seem to think Ah-ad- _achi's_ somewhere you can get to him—A-as if you'd even know where he was," Tarou hesitantly barks a staccato of nervous laughter. "But they said you can bring _him_ instead."

I heave a sigh. " _Yup._ I know where he is. They obviously know he's living with me—"

" _What?!_ " Tarou squeaks. " _Ah—What?_ "

"Don't worry about it," I moan. "He can't leave the house for extended periods of time, though... So..."

Tarou is quiet as he listens again. "They said to go to the same address as before. Take it down. And they'll give him a five-hour window for the drive up. As long as you show, they'll extend it." Tarou sighs. "And they're saying if you _don't_ show, they'll make sure he gets put away-away again. They said somewhere you can't find him..."

" _Yup,_ " I repeat. "Tell them I have to work. What damn day do they want?"

"Tomorrow."

_Tohru's first day of work..._

_Guess that’s not happening._

"We'll be there." I groan. "Tarou—You'll be fine." The other man says something incoherent and I hang up.

Yamamura's still staring at me, so I crush the cigarette and ask him what the fuck he's looking at. He mutters an apology and gets back to work.

I take my coffee and search for Sakamoto—Which is harder than expected. He isn't in his office.

I finally catch him out in reception, talking to who-the-hell-knows. Somebody new.

"Sakamoto," I bark. "I need to talk to you."

He raises his eyebrows, but leads me back to his office. I close the door after him.

"Something's come up," I inform him as soon as he sits. I don't even bother to take a seat; simply sip my coffee and lean against the wall.

He nods, spinning a pen between his fingers. "What is it?" he inquires.

"You remember Tarou, obviously..."

"Yeah?" he replies, motioning for me to continue.

I gulp down more of my still-boiling coffee and grumble. "I have to go bail him out of jail or something—"

" _What?_ " Sakamoto yelps. "Why?!" His face displays shock—Last he’d heard, Tarou was doing well.

"It's my fault," I flippantly remark. "I asked him for a favor and it got it of hand."

"Ahh, dammit!" the chief moans. "Really?"

I nod, feeling guilty about the whole ordeal. "Yes, really,” I reiterate. “I need to go to Tokyo tomorrow. Can I take a marked car in case anything funny happens?"

“Wait—”Sakamoto frowns. "What exactly...?"

I roll my eyes. "It’s probably nothing—Likely my mother trying to make contact again," I agree, sighing. "I'd just like to remind everyone over there that we're all professionals, yeah?"

Sakamoto rips a piece of paper off of his stationary. "Fine. Here," he tells me, scribbling some kind of waiver.

"Thanks," I seriously reply, saluting him with my mug as I exit his office. “I’ll try to keep things civil.”

“You better—Or at least tell me what you got Tarou into!” Sakamoto calls as I exit his office.

I wave behind me, letting him know he isn’t getting anything unless I’m in a bind.

I’m not dragging him into the TV World or my personal battles.

\---***---

I stomp through the door to my house and kick off my shoes, not bothering to line them up like usual. I glance into the other room at Tohru, laying on the floor with the back door open, playing some game. It looks peaceful...

_Now I have to ruin it._

"Tohru." I sigh and shake my head. "We're going on a daytrip tomorrow." I walk to the couch and drop down heavily, rubbing my temples.

"Yeah?" he cautiously queries. I see him toss the white machine to the tatami and sit up, giving me his full attention.

"Mm-hmm."

Tohru cocks his head; lost. "Why? I thought I was supposed to...” His words trail off as he shoots me a quizzical look.

I drag a hand down by face. "I'm being _blackmailed_."

"O-oh," he nervously replies. "Am..." he tentatively begins. "Am I coming _back_?"

A jolt of pain zings across my vision and I snap. " _What did I tell you about being a jackass?!_ " I yell, smacking the arm of the couch.

"Y-yeah but... That sounds bad."

"It _is_ ," I muse. "For the record—I did say ' _day_ trip'. We'll be home tomorrow night. It'll be _fine_."

I watch him nod thoughtfully, considering my words. “Where are we going?”

“Tokyo,” I answer. “I have an address but I doubt it’s the final destination.”

Tohru stares back blankly— _I don't think I actually told him about the papers._

“I—ah—was trying to get Teddie official documentation. Tatsumi-san asked me.”

“Oh,” Tohru frowns. “What went wrong?”

I shake my head. “Someone found out...” I pull the box of cigarettes from my pocket and Tohru throws me his lighter. “I’ve never told you about my family, have I?” I ask after my first inhalation.

Tohru shakes head, regarding me with a touch of curiosity. I sigh and lean foreword on my knees, watching as some of the neglected ash drops to the floor.

“I don't get along with most of them,” I admit. “That’s why I moved out here—If I did want to be a detective...” I pause to take another drag. “Well this is too far out of the way for any of them to bother with me.”

I stub the cigarette, noticing Tohru’s stuck the ashtray in front of me. I nod to him and continue. “My father was military, my sister works in foreign affairs, and my mother recently became the Chairman of Domestic at Naichou.”

“So?” Tohru questions—Still the clueless idiot.

I groan. “Do you follow current events _at all_?” I quip. His face doesn’t change. “She’s Dojima Yuudai, moron.”

He’s still blank as he searches his memory, and then his face contorts into shock. “She was that head of police bitch involved in my sentencing!”

“Yeah,” I snort. “You see?”

He doesn’t reply—I watch as his expression cycles through anger and agitation.

“ _We don’t speak,_ ” I tell Tohru.

“Why?” he asks, settling on irritation.

I lean back. “You never asked.”

“Ooh no!” Tohru stubbornly spits. “I tried once—You blew me off.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, well... You don’t talk about your past, either,” I shoot back.

He frowns.

“My family was too busy to come to Chisato’s funeral.”

“O-oh,” Tohru mumbles, looking like he feels bad now.

“Nnh,” I sigh. “It was a wake up call. My mother and sister showed up the following weekend—my father isn’t living—but it was awful.” I pause, folding my hands so I don’t keep fiddling with my watch. “You want to know what happened?”

Tohru nods, looking concerned. “What?”

“My mother brought a stack of folders. During lunch—with the three of us _and Nanako_ —she handed them to me and said I needed to hurry up and read through them—” I stop speaking and shake my head, still amazed at the audacity—The _disrespect_.

“What was it?” Tohru asks, scooting closer and putting his arm around me.

“A bunch of miai portfolios. I was too stunned to even reply—So she told me to get on it and come back to Tokyo. I had to ‘start taking interviews before Nanako stopped being cute’—”

Tohru gasps. I have to stop to suck in a huge breath. To clear my throat—

_I can feel the old enmity resurfacing._

“I told her to get the hell out. She told me not to be hard-headed—That there was no way I could raise a kid on my own.” I laugh bitterly.

_In some ways she was right..._

I shake my head to clear it. “We had a huge argument. My sister had to drag her back to Tokyo, and I told her never to come here again. That she couldn’t see Nanako anymore.”

I finally look up at Tohru. “So when your case broke nationwide—When she found out something had happened to Nanako—”

“ _Oh—O-oh fuck..._ ” Tohru moans. “It _is_ my fault!”

I poke him lightly. “Not the point—But it _did_ prove hers. That’s why she inserted herself into all this. Why she got involved with your and Tarou’s trials... She thought I’d be happy to see you two rot behind bars.”

Tohru still looks as though he doesn’t know whether he’s supposed to be mad or guilty, so he’s grimacing; his countenance twisted into a funny mixture of both. I sigh and grab his hand, clicking my tongue at the irony of the whole situation.

“So she wasn’t happy when I signed on to help your case. Then Tarou got off completely and you’re out now—And _here_.” I scowl. “I suppose I did expect some sort of confrontation.”

“Yeah?” Tohru asks.

I shake my head. “But not something so _showy_...” I grumble.

“Showy how?”

“Tarou’s being held hostage,” I exhale.

Tohru raises his eyebrows. “They can do that?”

“Who the hell knows,” I wave him off. “But my policy is to _always_ call the bluff.”

“That sounds risky.”

I shrug. “Got a better idea?”

“No.”

I stare him down. “Then we go with my plan.”

“At least I get to leave the house,” Tohru replies, looking hopeful.

“Oh—” I remember. “You’re riding in the back of a squad car.”

I can’t help cracking up at the betrayed look that creeps onto his face. I smack his back, unable to stop laughing. “Only for the last leg,” I addend.

“Bite me,” Tohru gibes, shoving me away.

“Now who can’t take a joke?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m having some personal problems. I’m in the midst of a medication change and worried it’s affecting my writing. I’m definitely slacking in terms of output, and I’m concerned about quality. I barely banged out today’s chapter and have not even started on tomorrow’s... I’m probably not going to be able to post as often until I get a handle on things. I’m committing to two more chapters this week—If I can cut the workload in half, it would be a big help. I’ll make sure they’re quality!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read my work, and I appreciate any feedback :)
> 
> Re-Edited 7/8/17


	6. Trustworthy (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji and phone calls and an ominous warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t bang out more than around 600 words for this chapter. So I’m, doing what I’m terming a half-chapter for Kanji now, and then another half-or-whole chapter tomorrow. It’s gonna be another Ryoutarou. Then a long Tohru chapter on Sunday. He gets the whole car ride! And there’s lots of fighting and actually some resolving. More backstory fill-in, too. So please bear with me~

Chapter Four: Trustworthy

(Kanji)

_It’s the end of the workday and I don’t think anyone else’s gonna stop in. Almost time to close up—On the first easy day I’ve had in a long time._

The shop phone rings, and I pick it up, giving my spiel. Then I’m interrupted by my usual non-customer.

"Kanji?" Dojima asks, sounding super tired.

"'Sup, Ojisan?" I casually reply.

He exhales into the speaker. "Can you look out for Nanako tomorrow? I need to drive up to Tokyo. I know the boy always hangs around, but just to be sure. You know."

"Woah woah!!" I call out. "Wait! I wanna come!"

"...Excuse me?" he asks, sounding aggravated. “Really? It’s business—And Tohru’s coming.”

"Y-yeah!" I reply. _This could actually work out well for me._ "I got something to do up that way."

"Kid, you hate cities."

"No..."

Dojima sighs. "Whatever. Fine. I don't care."

"Yes!" I whoop. "Just lemme confirm my plans—"

"Tell me ASAP," Dojima says. "Have the two kids go to your place after school, then. Aright?"

"You got it!" I reply and he hangs up.

I shoot off texts to both Rise and Yuu. I bet they're not _both_ busy. Maybe I can have a little break. _It's only one day._

"Teddie?" I call, walking into the house. I know he's getting ready to leave for the school.

I catch him poking around in the kitchen. "Whaaaat?" the bear whines. "I can't find the popsicles..."

I frown. "They're not in the freezer? Why would they be in the cabinet?"

"Special edition!" he cries, jumping around and brandishing a box of yogurt ice pops. "I was saving them."

"You?" I laugh. "Saving food?"

Teddie nods. "Yeah! It's getting hot and tomorrow..." His face looks funny, like he's not sure which expression he's supposed to have on all of a sudden.

"What's tomorrow?" I question.

"Tohru's first day of work, right?" he asks me right back, smiling.

_Ooh._

_Aww... Kid's being nice. They did just fight, he's probably trying to make up for it but—_

_Shoot. That got cancelled._

_Now I gotta be the one to tell him._

"Uh, Ted," I try. "That's gonna be in two days. Adachi's got something to do tomorrow."

"He... He does?"

I nod. "Sorry. I might be going out of town for the day, too. Can you hang with Nanako? You guys can come back here and eat with Ma."

Teddie quickly nods, his light-colored hair flying all over. "I can do that!"

I chuckle. "Thanks! So put the Topsicles in the freezer and eat 'em in a few days, yeah?"

"Okay!!" the boy replies, shoving the box in amongst the other crap. "I have to go. I'll eat dinner over there, so don't wait for me~"

"See you," I wave and watch him run off.

I start to straighten up the shop, ready to pack it in for the night. I'm lining up the stuffed animals someone knocked over when I notice one I didn't make—

"Waaah!" I reflexively shout, backing up.

"Hee hooo!" it crows.

I frown at the shadow. "What're you doin' here?" I demand.

"You should be careful, ho~" it tells me, floating up off the shelf. "Never know what you can find in the city!"

"You listening in, rat?" I ask it, folding my arms.

The little shadow nods. "Hee-hmm!" It flies towards me, grinning wickedly. "Never know what could follow you ho~home. Friend is not careful, but Brute is more cautious. Brute should pay attention~" The damn thing makes fun of me as it floats past my face.

"I ain't no brute!" I yell, whirling around. But it's already gone.

I hear a ding and check my phone. Looks a like I'll get to see both Rise and Yuu tomorrow.

_I ain't worried._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/9/17


	7. Ikuzo (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I managed more than 1,600 words! Two scenes. The guys get up for the day. And have breakfast all together. Already squabbling by the time they’re in the car...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ikuzo" is a manspeak for "let's go". Regular-speak would be "ikimashou", which I'm betting you hear more often.
> 
> When I was uploading to FF yesterday I noticed this is my fiftieth chapter!! I feel as though I should've prepared something more special... But life gets in the way, yeah? Pushing out these last two chapters to keep my word has been its own struggle. And tomorrow we'll get real content—Back to normal!
> 
> I don't expect to post Monday or Tuesday. So Sunday and then Wednesday. I'm shooting for three "real chapters a week", but as long as I get over 3,000 words posted, I might do more shorter chapters. I don't want to give up on this just because my body is giving up on me. I'M betting I have another good story up in there!! Thanks for your support :)
> 
> In other news—We’re still rewatching the anime. My husband commented that Doujima is a shit parent. I told him that I don’t believe anyone’s arguing.

 Chapter Five: Ikuzo

(Ryoutarou) 

No bones about it— _Today is going to suck._

It's going to be hot again, and we'll be going into a city. All the people and pollution are going to make the temperature even higher.

 _I'm glad I got fan._ I keep it aimed right at me because I keep waking up with Tohru clinging to me, both of us stuffed under the covers and baking. I pry myself free and roll over onto the floor. I can hear Tohru retreating back under the blanket, curling up into a little ball.

_I haven't really slept, but it's five—A reasonable time to get up._

_Insomnia's a bitch._

_The only good sleep I've had lately was after we came back from that TV Land. They told me that was stress-induced or something. I'd hoped it was because I resolved some of my worries..._

I grope around behind my head for a pack of cigarettes and sit up. I grab Tohru's lighter and have my first smoke of the day. _It's too quiet—I've gotten too used to noise all the time between Tohru and the kids buzzing around._

After I few puffs, I figure he’ll start yammering if I wake him up. So I peel back the covers and roll my eyes. Tohru’s indeed all curled up in a naked, sweaty mess.

It’s the middle of summer, but he _always_ needs to sleep with something over him. _As though he feels safer like that._

It's annoying that everything gets nasty with sweat— _I have to sleep here, too._

_—But it's still better than sleeping alone._

_And better than staying up all night with only the company of 'what-if's..._

_"What if I'd noticed sooner?"_

_"What if I'd been nicer at the beginning?"_

_"What if I'd pushed harder for the answers?"_

I rub my temple and set my mind back on the tracks. _Deal with what's in front of you._

There's a smile coming as I realize I _am_ in an all-right place.

“Wake up,” I exhale, shaking Tohru's moist shoulder. I move closer, crossing my legs. He doesn’t usually get up the first time I tell him to.

I watch as Tohru blinks a few times and stretches out. “Hi,” he quietly intones.

My smile grows as I let him take my hand. “Why don't you get out of bed and we can have an easy morning. But go take a shower.”

Tohru’s face scrunches up in a hurt look. “No.”

Laughing, I pull on his hand. “Come on. You need to stop sleeping like that. You’ll get yourself sick.”

He groans and curls back up.

I sigh and pull him over to me, so he’s lying in my lap. “At least leave your eyes open,” I mutter. “ _Pretend_ to be waking up.”

Tohru snickers, now purposely keeping them closed. “Brat,” I exhale, petting his head.

We sit like that for a few minutes in silence. _It’s peaceful._

“That’s enough,” I finally admit, yanking him upright. He swats at the smoke and yanks the cigarette from me, stubbing it out.

“Nnr,” he groans. Tohru leans back against me and pretends to keep sleeping.

I chuckle. “Cut it out!” I wrap my arms around him and shake my head.

“Mmn,” he replies, grabbing on to my wrists.

“What?” I whisper. “You okay?”

Tohru nods, turning to look at me. Sleep still clouds his expression, but I can tell he's in a rare, purely affectionate mood.

While his different—but familiar in their Tohru-ness—eyes stare into my own, I swear my heart skips off its rhythm. Just completely jumps the tracks.

“W-what?” I stumble over my words. Tohru shrugs and kisses my cheek before turning back around and relaxing again.

“Why are you so…” I try, unable to finish the sentence.

_Calm… At ease… Docile… Unhurried… Laid back…_

“It’s going to be a long day, isn’t it?” he eventually asks me, and the rest of the words fall away.

_They aren’t ‘Tohru words’ anyhow._

I nod.

“It’s partly my fault, isn’t it?” he adds in a mumbly voice.

I shake my head. “No. This one’s on me.”

“Really?” Tohru asks, starting to turn around again.

I bonk our heads together. “Yes, really,” I tersely reply.

“Okay,” he yawns and sits up straighter. “Then I feel better..."

I snort. “Yeah?” I query. “I told you before.”

“Ehh,” he sighs. “It’s usually my fault. Thought it was a safe assumption.”

“No,” I reply and sigh. “Don’t do that—It’s not true.”

“Heh,” he sniffs. “Liar.”

I shake my head. “Even if it were true, I don’t care. We’re on the other side of all that—We're fixing things now. This simply happens to be one of the loose ends that needs tying up.”

Tohru takes a big breath; his shoulders rising and falling with the motion. "I should've taken care of my shadows at the beginning."

"Then what?" I query. "I'd say we're all happy to have Teddie around. It worked out for the better."

"I'm not good enough as me," he mutters. I roll my eyes.

"You’re good as you, and he's not you,” I snort. “Nanako's made that pretty clear."

Tohru doesn’t say anything, so I jostle him. “I like you the way you are.” When he continues to stay quiet, I decide against words.

Brushing one of his hands off my arm, I reach down to feel him. He shivers and I laugh softly. “You going to believe me?” I question, gripping him now.

Tohru doesn’t speak, instead letting out some quiet noises—Just leaning forward into my touch.

I kiss his neck and he looses something more like what I’m used to hearing from him. Still quiet, but more intense.

He grabs onto my bare legs, digging in his nails while I gently run my hand down his chest. It makes him shudder—And then he’s practically jumping off me, so I go back to holding him still.

And that’s that—The next thing I know, he’s dropping back down against me again. I absently wipe my hand on the futon and he grumbles.

“This needs washed,” I sarcastically reply. “And so do you—Get going.” I can't help smirking.

"Alone?" Tohru huffs, sliding away from me to reach into my boxers.

I feel myself flush. He looks at me with that serious, sharp expression the whole time, leaning in to kiss me when it's too much and I flick my gaze away.

Tohru snickers, overdramatically wiping his hand all over my chest. He jumps up and pulls on his shorts, giving me a smug look. "Oh," is all he says. "Guess you'll be coming with me~"

\---***---

“What should we eat?” I ask Tohru and Nanako, opening the fridge.

I can feel them glancing at each other without turning around.

“Th-there’s rice?” Tohru says—The words sounding more like a question.

I sigh and stand up. _I have time._

I pick up a package of raw mackerel. “We may not be back for dinner,” I muse aloud. “Might as well...”

I take it over to the stove and hear them fidgeting. I turn around and glare. “ _What?_ ”

“You’re gonna cook?” Nanako questions.

I groan and throw the package of fish on the counter.

“On a weekday?” Tohru finishes.

I fold my arms. “Done?” I demand.

Tohru shrugs and looks at Nanako. She returns the gesture and pulls a notepad from her bag. When she starts to explain some math problem, I tune them out and start to prepare the food.

Carrying the plate of grilled mackerel to the table, I can see the paper is covered with a series of complex symbols and numbers. “Did you not finish your homework?” I ask my daughter.

She shakes her head. “We were looking ahead,” she tells me. “Tohru-jisan was explaining the basics of calculus.”

“I’m decent at math,” Tohru reveals. I raise my eyebrows, surprised. “What?” he scoffs. “I’m good at things—”

I roll my eyes and take a seat. “I wasn’t challenging that.”

“We’ll continue tonight,” Nanako tells Tohru. She shuffles the notebook and pencil into her bag and starts eating.

_She doesn’t know where we’re going, but she can tell we’re on edge._

After we eat, Nanako starts for the door. “I’ll let you know when we’re on our way back,” I call to her. “We’ll pick you up at the Tatsumis’. I’ll be dropping Kanji off there, anyway.”

“Mm-hmm,” she replies. “I’m off!”

“Have a good day,” I say, dumping the dishes into the sink. I pour myself another cup of coffee and drain it while I work. “We’re going as soon as these are done.”

Tohru sighs. “I’m ready when you are...”

I hear a _thump_ and turn to see he’s placed a small backpack on the table, and now walking to the closet. He takes out a hooded sweatshirt and puts it on.

“That ruins the rest of the outfit,” I sigh. He’s wearing a collard shirt and actual pants. _That addition makes it look a lot more casual._ “Aren’t you going to be hot?”

Tohru shakes his head and sits back at the table. “This is good.”

“I did get one for _you_ ,” I try. He treats me to a blank stare. “Fine. Let’s go,” I acquiesce and walk into the garage. “At least wear the hood through town.”

“Yessir!” he enthusiastically replies. I stop short and Tohru bumps into my back, making a startled noise.

I turn around poke him. “Keep that up and you can ride in the trunk.”

He swats my hand away and jumps in the front seat. “Here is good~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/9/17


	8. Resolve (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're all saddled up for their five-hour car trip. This chapter runs through dropping off Kanji.
> 
> Tohru does indeed harass Kanji—I mean, at this point Kanji gets him all riled up just by existing. Tohru and Ryoutarou finally have it out about the shadows and Ryoutarou’s breakdown in a way that Tohru feels comfortable responding to (mostly argumentatively). Then they end up doing that dumb thing where you go back-and-forth (daring each other into) revealing personal things. So stuff gets resolved, but it sticks them on edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Details... If you're wondering Tohru left the tracker at home. It's not explicitly stated, but seems like it'd be important to keep track of. As author, that's my job, right?
> 
> I also cut a scene where Tohru gets new shoes because I ended up with overlap between yesterday's and today's chapters. But I think I make mention of it somewhere that they're new. That’s the deal there... I have a whole document of cut scenes. It makes me sad. I think if I ever come up with a proper ending, I'll just dump them into a "part" as separate one-shots. Some I like a lot!!
> 
> Narita is a city northwest of Tokyo. It’s a part of Chiba. I chose it because there’s a huge international airport there and it's supposed to be big in politics and commercialism. It seems like a decent location for someplace important, but also removed from Tokyo.

Chapter Six: Resolve

(Tohru)

_I'm walking into this blind._

_I don't know what to expect from any of these people—Except the probable hostility from both Namatame and Dojima. Neither one is bound to think highly of me._

And now Kanji's coming. We're apparently dropping him at a station between Tokyo and Narita. _Great..._

_Ryoutarou says he'd feel better having the meathead along. I wouldn't—_

_Well I don't know. I have no idea what I'm getting myself into._

Sitting in the car, I pull the sweatshirt's hood over my face and yawn. I kick my feet up on the dashboard. _It's nice to be back in a car. I used to drive Ryoutarou‘s a lot when he wa—_

I huff. It’s not that I particularly _enjoy_ driving.

I’m pulled from my thoughts at Ryoutarou’s latest quip. " _Very_ inconspicuous..." He’s staring at me with that _look_ , his eyes dancing like I’m making a joke.

"Ha ha, shut up," I snort.

He laughs and pulls out of the garage. "You're going to get hot," he teases.

"Nah," I reply. "I'm fine. I'll just sleep anyhow."

"You mean you're not going to harass Kanji the whole time?" Ryoutarou gibes.

"Well, if you'd rather," I joke, smacking his arm.

When we arrive at the station lot, the buffoon is already standing around near the patrol cars. _Looks like he's gonna wire one..._

_Wonder if he knows how angry he always looks, even though he usually isn't._

"Stay in the car until I bring the other one around," Ryoutarou instructs and I bob my head, knowing if I get out Kanji's liable to start something. _The punk's always gotta act like a good kid around Ryoutarou—Like he's better than me._

I narrow my eyes at him through the window, letting the hood fall back enough so he can see. I watch him shake his head disgustedly and follow Ryoutarou into the station.

_Whatever._

_We've got all day, Kanji. You just had to come along~_

I text Kubo—The only one who could possibly understand the absurdity of all this.

The two return shortly, with Ryoutarou driving the police car. At least it's got a sliding divider and not bars. _This whole scenario is bizarre, but that's been par lately._

I exit one car and slide into the front seat of the other. I turn around to give Kanji my best shit-eating grin. The glower he shoots back tells me he doesn't appreciate the irony here— _Him in the back of the cop car when I'm the technical criminal._

"Turn around, Tohru," Ryoutarou orders, sighing.

"Just lemme figure out how to—" I grumble, playing with the bulletproof glass window.

He knocks my hands away without even looking in my direction. "Cut it out. Don't gloat. Or you'll spend the whole ride back there."

I grumble and sink down in the front seat. I start to untie my shoes, and now Ryoutarou does look over at me. He rolls his eyes.

"It's gonna be such a long ride," I tell him, curling up on the big seat. I kick off the new shoes and stretch the sweatshirt over my knees, listening to the soundtrack of my life now—Ryoutarou making noises that manage to sound both aggravated and amused.

"Are you going to do that to all my sweatshirts?" he complains.

I hear Kanji lean foreword, probably feeling left out. _Good._

" _Yes,_ " I yawn, pulling the hood down over my eyes to sleep.

"Hey!" Kanji yells. "You get to sit up front but you're just gonna sleep? _Nuh-uh!_ "

I start to worry he's going to try to smack me, but instead I hear Ryoutarou going for his cigarettes. I hold out the lighter and Kanji is quiet.

"He's awake," Ryoutarou laughs.

"I can hear you two fine," I grumble. Someone pets my head. "If that's Kanji there's going to be another murder."

Kanji snorts. "Like hell I'd get anywhere near you," he retorts.

After that, we're all quiet for a time. I think I fall asleep, because the next thing I know, the car isn't moving.

I poke my head out of the sweatshirt and see the guys are gone. We're at some sort of rest stop on the side of the road. There are other parked cars and I can see trails leading off into the woods.

_I could pee..._

_But should I wait to find out where they went?_

I dial Ryoutarou, but he doesn't pick up. I click my phone off and sigh. I dig in my bag in the floor and pull out a package of chocolate squares.

_Where the fuck are we? How long have I been asleep for?_

I let the candy melt in my mouth as I consider my options.

The doors aren't locked, but the keys are gone. _Though what kind of an idiot would break into a marked cop car?_

I laugh to myself and decide to just call Kanji. While it's ringing I see him appear at one of the trailheads, so I hang up.

I step out of the car and stretch. "Is there a bathroom?" I call to him.

Kanji points down the trail he came from. "There's a bank of urinals like five minutes that way." He shakes his head. "Man, I thought we lived in the middle of nowhere. Guess I need to get out more."

"How many times _have_ you left Inaba?" I question.

"Uhh," the idiot stalls. "Only a few... Thought this might be a good opportunity. Rise and Yuu said I could hang out with them. I-I never cared about going anywhere else."

I roll my eyes. "Because Inaba's _so_ amazing, right?

"Argh!" Kanji groans. "You wouldn't get it! I was born there, my parents are from there, and I got my own business to take over. Why would I wanna move away when I have everything all set up and I like most've the people?"

I shrug. "The city's no picnic, I guess."

Kanji stares at me, trying to figure out if I'm making fun of him. _I'm not._

I spread my arms in a ‘what’ gesture, and he gets back in the car. I start down the dirt path. I don't walk long before I spot Ryoutarou leaning against a tree, smoking. He’s spacing out and doesn't seem to notice me until I'm right next to him.

"Hey," he softly greets me, looking up and smiling wanly when I approach. "Just stretching my legs."

"Uh-huh. I was looking for the toilet. But I can just pee in the woods. This seems like a pain in the ass."

Ryoutarou chuckles.

"Not funny! A five minute walk for Kanji has to be at least ten for a normal person..."

"It's not far," he says, gesturing further down the path. "You're about halfway."

I shake my head and walk into the brush to relieve myself. "Pass!" I yell behind me.

"That's illegal!" Ryoutarou shouts back.

When I emerge back on the path, I give him a smug look. "So is taking me on this little jaunt, I'm guessing."

He rolls his eyes and puts the cigarette out. "A lot of what we've been doing is probably illegal."

"One more crime isn't going to make a difference," I retort. Ryoutarou goes to poke me but I sidestep, making a show of wiping my hand on his shirt.

"Gross." He grabs my wrist and starts to pull me back towards the car. "That better be all for show..."

"Sure~" I reply, my voice dripping insincerity.

He grunts but releases my arm, so I grab his hand. We don't talk until we make it back to the parking lot.

"How much further?" I question.

He cocks his head, counting. "Maybe an hour till we drop Kanji, then another hour to the address."

I nod and climb back into the car. On the highway, the woods start to melt away to suburbs and shops.

"Can we eat out?" I ask Ryoutarou.

Kanji snickers. "That's what you want out of all this?"

"I can't just show up in town," I shoot back. "Out here nobody will know me."

_I want to go to a restaurant. It's a weird thing to miss when I mostly got takeout, but it'd be fun._

"When we get closer," Ryoutarou tells me. "You're okay for now, right?"

"Yeah," I sigh. Then I turn around and stare at Kanji until he looks at me.

"What?"

"If you go to a Mister Donut, bring me some."

"Uhh what?" Kanji repeats, sounding confused.

Ryoutarou outright guffaws. "All you want is Mister Donut?" he questions, mocking me.

" _Pon de Ring~~_ "

_—I think I'm going to start drooling._

"We have doughnuts at the bakery," Kanji tells me like I'm an idiot.

I growl at him through the window to the backseat. "They're not the same! Pon de Ring is so light and fluffy!!" I rock back and forth, putting on a show.

Kanji rolls his eyes. "I don't even know if I'll see a Mister Donut."

" _Try._ "

"I never knew you felt so seriously about doughnuts," Ryoutarou mocks— _Still sounding too sarcastic for my tastes._ I catch him glancing in my direction and theatrically glare back.

His smile falls away and then I feel shitty. "We can visit Tokyo sometime," he defensively tells me. "Or just go to Okina if you're looking for doughnuts. These—" He pauses to shake his head. "These aren't things I know about you..."

I sit facing foreword again, watching for Ryoutarou’s reaction. "I used to eat there a lot when I was younger."

"You eat a lot," Kanji comments. "How come you're not bigger?"

"We can't all have gigantism," I riposte. "Or Marfan's."

Kanji yells back, missing the point as usual. "I ain't a Martian, dumbass!"

Ryoutarou groans. "Both of you shut up."

We do, but I don't like it like this.

_It's too quiet..._

"When did you move to Inaba?" I finally ask Ryoutarou.

"After I graduated."

I hear Kanji leaning foreword. "Why did _you_ move to Inaba?"

I pretend he isn't asking me. But Ryoutarou's silent, so Kanji pokes my back, asking again.

"I love being bored," I hiss, whipping around. Kanji yanks his hand away and I sink down in the seat.

"Fuck you," the brat mutters.

I notice Ryoutarou shooting looks at me again. "I can see you!" I loudly tell him, annoyed.

He sighs. "You should just tell me. I'll probably find out on my own if you don't."

"Go for it," I snort. "If you really cared, you could've looked it up a long time ago."

"I hoped _you'd_ tell me."

" _I_ hoped you'd let it go."

Kanji's head jerks back and forth as he watches us argue. _He looks like a kid caught between adults with guns._

I can't help sniggering at his concern. _It's not like we're really going at it. This is way below blowout threshold._

_But I might as well give him a show~_

"If you want I can list the things _you_ never told _me_."

Ryoutarou grumbles something.

"So are we going to drop it?" I needle. "Or are you ready to tell me about the months between the hospital and when you first visited me?"

You could hear a pin drop.

"Okay. Glad we're all in agreement~" I conclude.

I am three-hundred percent _not_ prepared when Ryoutarou speaks again—

"You heard my shadow. I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want to keep going. So I tried to jump out the window. What other questions do you have?"

_Wasn't expecting that._

I notice Kanji attempting to close the divider now and jam my hand in the way, smirking unhappily. "Really? So you thought you'd just give up?"

"What was I _supposed_ to do?" Ryoutarou tiredly counters.

"I left so you could move on," I carefully reply. "I thought that was best."

He laughs in a few short, bitter bursts, shaking his head. "Right. Because _that's_ something you just ‘move on’ from! I was supposed to get over it and be totally fine, yeah? Just heal up and walk away from everything, you know?" His voice is rising—sounding angrier—and Kanji's jamming my fingers in the glass door, trying to get me to move.

Ryoutarou pinches the bridge of his nose and then thumps the dashboard. " _I wasn't recovering from that!_ " he finally chokes out. He's gripping the wheel hard, and he's got that set in his jaw.

I sigh. "You shoulda just forgot about me! That's why I did it— _Fucking_ — _Kanji if you do that one more time I will break your goddamn arm!!_ "

Kanji huffs and leans back in his seat. "I don't need to be in the middle of this, dammit!"

I reach through the tiny window to grab him by the shirt but the jackass slides out of reach. "C'mere—" I sneer, unable to catch him through the tiny window. Then I feel Ryoutarou pulling at me to get me back to sitting in the seat.

"Tohru siddown goddammit!" Ryoutarou roars, and I listen, folding my arms. "I wanted to call it quits. I already _told you_ I didn't want to keep going—Couldn't do it again. So eventually I went back to you, alright?! That's it—End of story." He turns away from the road to give me a heartbreaking look. " _Your turn!_ "

And I say it so plainly...

"I shot somebody."

No one speaks.

For a while.

I watch the houses pass by out the window while the other two process that.

It's Ryoutarou who finally asks. "Shot someone in what capacity?"

"I was chasing a suspect. It was someone I knew. He reached like he was going for a gun, so I shot him. He died. I got sent away."

"Who was he?" Kanji questions.

I shake my head. "No. I told you what you wanted to hear. That's the end of _this_ story."

Ryoutarou nods uncertainly, keeping his eyes straight ahead. When he's done thinking about it, he reaches over for my hand.

"I'm fine," I grumble, but give it to him.

"Sure," he quips, running his thumb over my fingers.

I glare. "Cut it out."

"No."

I hear a click—While I wasn't paying attention, the bastard in the backseat finally slammed the divider shut.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ryoutarou queries.

"I didn't want to talk about it," I sullenly reply.

He sighs. "Remember what I said about getting it all out?"

"You first," I retort. "You tell me the other parts I'm missing."

"Fine. What do you want to know?"

"Start with that mess in the back. Why are you and the punk so close?"

Ryoutarou snorts. "Cause he's _nice_. He was always great with Nanako, and then we got to talking. I—" He sighs and squeezes my hand. "I was lonely. _Really_ lonely. He's easy to talk to, so I let it pour out; a little at a time. Kanji wasn't trying to figure me out or judge me, he would just listen or play with Nanako."

Ryoutarou shrugs, his eyes flicking around like he's embarrassed. "He's easy to talk to—A-and he never cared about who you are to me."

He squeezes my hand again, getting my attention. "Now you tell me something."

"I tried to run away. That's when the cigarette burns started."

Ryoutarou waits to see if I'll keep talking. _I'm glad he's trying to be patient, but I know it won't last._

So I lean over and dig out his pack of cigarettes. He chuckles, watching me out of the corner of his eye as I pull one from the box and light it with only my left hand. I actually take a puff myself, waiting to see what he'll do.

I cough a few times, sounding like I'm hacking up a lung.

After a few more drags, Ryoutarou drops my hand to take the cigarette from me. "You don't smoke, moron. You'll get sick." He places it between his own lips and audibly inhales. "I need these," he says around the paper stick.

Ryoutarou peers over at me, seeing if I'm still paying attention. He gropes for my hand again. "I started smoking so I had something to concentrate on when I didn't know what to do. Then it became a habit, like most of my other habits..." He trails off, but I can easily complete the sentence...

Like _overworking himself_.

Like _drinking_.

Like _me_.

I don't say any of those truths, but they hang in the air between us all the same. _This feels like a good time to finally ask—_

"Why me?" I quietly question. "Why did you pick _me_?"

Ryoutarou huffs. "You didn't want a lot from me—After you started trying to get me to cut down on the drinking, I realized you probably cared about me. You always..." He tries to take his hand back to ash the cigarette, but I won't let go.

" _Oi,_ " Ryoutarou sharply scolds. "It's going to fall on me—"

I grumble halfheartedly and take it away. I tap it out the window on my side. He snorts, aggravated I'm not giving him his hand back.

"Here," I grunt, holding the cigarette back out. He rolls his eyes but accepts it.

“Do you remember what you said—That first time you dragged me out of the office drunk?”

I shake my head slowly, trying to remember which thing he’s talking about—

Ryoutarou looks at me and smiles a little. “You told me it was ‘sad’, outright like that. No one was so honest with me.”

"You were someone who's expectations I could meet. You didn't want much—All you seemed to care about was being around me, and I liked it. _Hey_ —You acted like you didn't notice, but—" he turns his head to look at me again. " _No one_ wanted to be around me _just to be around me_ after Chisato died. I was miserable and I didn't want to get better."

He groans. "I know I ended up being pushy and you didn't like that, but—" He motions for me to let go or take the cigarette again. I stub the end of it out and he glares. "That wasn't finished—"

He's quiet for a minute before he continues his last train of thought. "Well... You didn't put pressure on me about 'normal relationship' type things, and that's what made me want them. Then I was aggravated that you didn't want them, even though I know now. Now I know _why_ you didn't want them."

Ryoutarou lets out an angry laugh. _Asshole._

I didn't want those things because I _couldn't_ have them. _Not when I was already in that deep with everything else._

"It's your turn again," he orders.

_I'm in no rush._

I stare down at our hands for a while, studying the different the lines on his. "W-what?" he barks, uncomfortable.

"Nothing," I grunt. "Just looking."

"Nn."

I flip his hand over and keep tracing the different paths with my finger, like it's the first time I've noticed them.

"Cut it out," Ryoutarou finally orders, his voice tense.

"What—Makes you feel too _exposed_ ~" I jeer, feeling more self-assured.

He sighs.

"That's how I feel talking about a lot of this. So deal with it," I demand.

We're quiet for another stretch, while I continue to play with his hand. Ryoutarou grumbles, making a show of his agitation. I laugh.

"This is the least of your problems~" I banter. "Aren't we walking into some kind of trap?"

"Yes."

"So... Traps." I lean back and sigh. I try to stealthily peek into the backseat—To make sure Kanji isn't paying us any attention.

Satisfied that he's watching a video on his phone, I relent and open up a little. "I was in a shitty situation. I was too young to know what was going on, at first. I just knew it was no good, and that my sister was right to get us out of there."

"When she died, I had to go back. I was—I was young," I confide, feeling wary about revealing all of this. "I tried to run away a few more times, and that happened." I gesture behind me, knowing he gets the picture.

"I worked my ass off to graduate early and put myself through academy. The _rest_ is for another time."

_That's enough to reveal for one day._

I'm still absently playing with his hand and only remember when Ryoutarou yanks it back to put his arm around me. I groan.

"Stop it—" I complain again, jerking away.

Ryoutarou sighs, trying to pull me to him. "What else am I supposed to do?" he argues.

"Just listen, dumbass," I mutter. "You wanted to know. And I don't want to discuss it."

He tries to grab me again after I'm done speaking. "I don't like being _handled_ —" I hiss.

Ryoutarou backs off and peers at me, confused. "You usually—"

"Sometimes I don't."

"Alright."

_The fucking silence again._

_And this time it's my fault._

I watch as the suburbs give way to strip malls and apartment buildings. "How much longer?" I finally question.

Ryoutarou glances at me again. "We're dropping Kanji soon."

"Okay."

He mumbles something and I'm sick of having to ask him to frigging speak up when he clearly wants to say something. _If I keep quiet he'll repeat himself._

"I can tell you one more."

I snort. "We still won't be even," I warn Ryoutarou. "I gave you something Aizawa will _never_ be able to pry out of my cold, dead corpse."

He shakes his head—

He's bouncing his leg—

_Antsy._

"That's not the point of this, is it?"

"...No."

"Mnn," he grunts. After a load of fidgeting, I give in and reach over to and poke his hand until he softens and returns it. "I _was_ really afraid to tell Sakamoto."

I nod—Don't know how I should answer.

_It shouldn't be that hard. What year is it?_

_Or is it because I'm a killer?_

_Both?_

"You know how people are," Ryoutarou replies, as if reading my mind. "They all saw me one way."

_Well that's the point of shadows, I suppose. I can understand that a little._

"I did it. And I'm going to do it more often. But it isn't easy for me." I watch him narrow his eyes and reach for another cigarette. I let go of his hand to fish out my lighter. I hold it out, lit, waiting.

"It's stupid to compare how difficult different things are to different people. We can't fully comprehend the challenges the other has faced, or the intimidation of what lies ahead." Ryoutarou stops to smoke for a minute and gather his thoughts.

"But we can try to explain. In a way that can be understood—So that—" he cuts himself off and groans, scratching his neck.

"Okay. _Just_ —“ He sighs and I wait as he tries again. “So you need to tell me if I'm doing something to set off one of—One of those episodes you have. Alright?"

Ryoutarou's eyes shift to me again as he takes another few drags and ashes the cigarette out the window. "I'd like to avoid upsetting you," he evenly states. Then as if I need clarification, he tacks on this last part. _Just so he's sure I know he means my panic attack._ "Like the other day."

"I know that's what you meant," I tell him. _I don't want to address it again._ I roll my eyes and scrunch myself up under the sweatshirt.

Ryoutarou jerks his head towards the backseat. "Tell Kanji he's getting out in a minute."

I sit up and smack the window until I can hear Kanji trying to open it. _He can't._

_That's how a cop car works._

I laugh and it feels good. Ryoutarou shakes his head at me and reaches around to snap the latch up.

"What?" Kanji asks us.

"This is your stop," Ryoutarou tells him. "We'll call you when we're on our way back. We can always meet at a different station if we need to." He nods to the boy. "Have fun."

Kanji exits the car and stretches, then raps his fist on the driver's side. "Good friggin luck, Ojisan. With Crazy and Manipulative—You can pick who's who."

Ryoutarou cracks up and shakes his head, lightly punching Kanji. It makes me feel annoyed.

When Kanji finally walks away, Ryoutarou turns to me. "Are you going to sit in the back like I asked?"

"No," I snort. "You gonna try and make me?"

He rolls his eyes and pulls away from the small station, obviously deciding to listen. "We've got another hour... Do you need anything?"

I feel a smile curling onto my face. "I could eat."

"Keep an eye out for something that looks quick."

"Like Western food?" I hopefully question.

Ryoutarou nods. "Sure."

“I can pick any?”

“Somewhere near parking would be a plus.”

I frown. “What’s the point of taking this car if we can’t make our own space?”

“You’re really...” Ryoutarou shakes his head.

“An _opportunist_ ,” I easily supply.


	9. "The World from Your Perspective" (Nanako)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start out the night before, where Nanako is annoyed that Ryoutarou is treating her like a kid. And the next day—I TOLD you we’d get back to that notebook!! Teddie and Nanako hang out and then she starts to read...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is a quote from the Golden Animation! From when Adachi and Yuu see what the other felt. I thought it went well~
> 
> I scooped out bits of what I had made up for the notebook before. Then I added more and formatting. I’ve never written with strikethrough formatting. I thought it would be a fun change of pace. I hope I did an okay job of Adachi’s writing voice. Nervous about it, but also excited I tried something new!
> 
> I’m doing three chapters this week again. And I plan to re-edit this weekend. I went back to check a few things and noticed a load of errors. Gomen! >.<

Chapter Seven: “The World from Your Perspective”

(Nanako)

“You’ll both be gone all day tomorrow?” I ask my dad.

“Yes,” he nods. “We have some things to take care of in the city—Kanji’s coming, too. Will you be alright with just Teddie? I can ask their mom to feed you...”

I roll my eyes. “ _Really?_ ” I quip. “I made dinner _tonight_. I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

“Nnn,” he sighs. “I don’t know what time we’ll be able to get back. Go spend the evening there.”

“I will,” I tightly reply. “I can take care of myself.” Dad nods slowly, taking that in. When it doesn’t look as though he has anything to add, I decide to head upstairs for the night.

_I think I’ll take a look at the notebook tomorrow..._

\---***---

When I'm out of school, Teddie is waiting under the tree, grinning. He excitedly waves me over and holds up a paper bag.

"What is it?" I ask, curious. I try to peek inside and he tilts it towards me. _Loads of veggies and a package of meat._

"Let's do a hotpot with Kaasan!" he squeals.

I laugh. "Sounds like fun," I agree. "Do you know how to make the tsuyu? What kind of broth do you want to do?"

"Teach me~" Teddie begs, beaming. "I wanna learn how to cook. You know," he leans in close and flicks his around guardedly. "All I can make is tea..."

"You have to start somewhere!" I grin back and we head to his house.

"We're home Kaasan~" Teddie calls, stepping in through the store entrance. The bell jingles as he bounds over to where Tatsumi-sama is sitting on a floor cushion.

"Welcome back, kids," she smiles at us. "What'd you get, dear?" Tatsumi-sama nods at the bag Teddie is clutching.

He squishes it closer to himself. " _We're_ making it—Just give us time." At that, my friend high-tails it into the house, dragging me by the hand.

"I need to get some homework done," I tell him, not entirely telling the truth. I do have work to do, but I've also been itching to dig into the notebook. With both Tohru and Kanji gone, it'd be a good opportunity to take a peek without worrying about them breathing down my neck.

I did say I'd wait a while. _I said that I didn't feel the need to look right away..._

_But lately things have been so..._

_I think it’s time._

I chew on my lip. Teddie is buzzing around the kitchen, putting the meat and some of the vegetables in the fridge.

"Do—Would you like some tea, Nana-chan?" he asks me.

"Sure," I easily reply. "That would be great while I work!"

While Teddie selects the leaves and boils water, I slide the notebook out of my bag. I flip back and forth between the two sections, debating whether I should look at Kanji's or Tohru's first.

"What is it?" Teddie asks from behind me.

I glance at him and see he's looking right over my shoulder. _I might as well tell him._

"I asked Kanji and Tohru-jisan to tell me what happened before."

"Before when?" Teddie cluelessly questions.

A smile creeps onto my face. "Before, as in a few years ago—When this notebook is from," I fill him in, turning the notebook over so he can see the cute cover.

Teddie leans over me and sticks his face right up to the book. "It smells like Tohru," he informs me.

"He gave it to me," I giggle. "He apparently had it all this time."

"Why now?" Teddie wonders aloud. He rests his hand on my shoulder and taps me questioningly.

I shrug. "Because we're getting along, I think."

Teddie nods anxiously. "You are, right?"

"Yes," I assure him. "We are. I like having him around again. Things are more fun; like they used to be."

"It wasn't fun when he was gone?"

_Ooh—_

_I don't know how to respond. I can't tell if it bothers him._

"It was always fun," I tell Teddie. I look up at his face that's still studying the notebook. "It was just..." I shake my head. "I got so used to having Tohru-jisan around, and Dad was miserable while he was away. Home wasn’t as much fun with just the two of us."

He nods again.

"Teddie," I start, bracing myself to be more blunt than I'm usually comfortable. "Do you not want me to have missed him?"

My friend leans back, away from me. His face scrunches up while he considers my question. "I have a feeling I can't describe," he reveals. "I want you to be happy he's here because I'm happy he's here and you love him and he cares about you, but it makes me feel weird because—"

Teddie shakes his head and swipes at his eyes. He’s hopping from foot to foot, looking antsy and confused. I give him a questioning look. He seems surprised that he's tearing up.

I hold my arms out behind me, smiling warmly. _A hug always cheers him up. I love that it's that easy._

He rushes over to hug me back, grinning instantly.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me," I gently tell Teddie. "I know it's complicated, and you know my whole family's complicated." He laughs. "I—"

I take a deep breath. "Teddie, I’ll always miss you the most."

"I love you, Nana," he easily replies.

"I love you, too," I smile. Then I take my arms back to hold up the notebook. "So which do you think I should read first?"

Teddie tries to pry the pages apart without removing the staples. He chuffs, aggravated he can't see through.

"You want me to look at Tohru-jisan's, huh?" I ask.

He tentatively nods.

"Alright," I hesitantly agree. "But you shouldn't look because I promised it would only be me."

"Okay," Teddie says, drooping a little. "Will you _please_ tell me if there's anything about me?"

"Of course. We don't have secrets, right?”

Teddie eagerly nods again.

I crack the seal on Tohru's portion and start to read...

Bits stick out to me as I skim the entries. They're written in pieces, with lots crossed out and some words traced over a second or third time.

First he talks about his shadow: 

> _"That Marie told you **he** came back, didn't she?"_
> 
> _"Is this how it’s always going to be? I have to have him **haunting me** and telling me all the wrong things?"_

A lot of it is ranty. He keeps asking me why I want to know.

> _"If you want to know what happened so **badly** , why haven’t you just **looked it up** online? You can’t tell me you haven’t thought of that._
> 
> _Did you want it from **us**? Does it have to be firsthand?_
> 
> _What do you want to know?"_

Some of it's chilling in its honesty— 

> _"I definitely knew the second time. I **knew** she would die."_
> 
> _“ **I hate people who have it easy.** People who **don’t** have to work for their happiness. It just lands in their laps.”_
> 
> _“I despise talent. **I have none.** Why doesn’t everyone have to work at being good?”_

There are a bunch of pages about Dad. 

> _"I started it. He **let** me._
> 
> _He took ~~all my weirdness~~ all my **crazy**._
> 
> _The longer it went on the worse I got."_
> 
> _"I didn't have any hope until he came to see me. Even before he came, I knew he was trying to help me._
> 
> _If it wasn’t him, I would **never** have gotten my own cell. ~~You **have no idea** what it’s like for cops in pris~~_
> 
> _He must’ve told Sakamoto to put word through. No one else would’ve done that for me._
> 
> _I was a jerk. I tried to push him away. ~~I didn't want to be in your li~~ I didn't **deserve** to be in your lives anymore. You didn't deserve to be stuck with me._
> 
> _I didn't add anything good._
> 
> _But he was persistent. He kept coming and coming until I'd talk to him. He kept telling me he **was going to get me out of there**._
> 
> _And he did. And now I'm here. **And I like it.**_
> 
> _My shadow said you and he are my **weaknesses**. You are._
> 
> **_You're the only people I'd think to put before myself._ **
> 
> **_~~I don't like it.~~ _ ** _"_

And me...

> _"I did it. **I sent the letters.**_
> 
> _I put them in the mailbox myself._
> 
> _One morning when I went out on a konbini run._
> 
> _The second was more difficult. I had to do it during lunch._
> 
> _I **thought** I could handle it myself._
> 
> _It was idiotic._
> 
> _~~I couldn~~ _
> 
> _~~I didn’t even get there until after the cra~~ _
> 
> _~~Fucking Nam~~ _
> 
> _There were too many pieces to possibly pick up._
> 
> _I tried **I TRIED**_
> 
> _I went every day. I visited both of you_
> 
> _I tried_
> 
> _I couldn’t do i_
> 
> _I snapped when he asked me to move in after I did all that and **he didn’t even know**._
> 
> _They figured it out, and chased me into the TV World._
> 
> _It was **over**._
> 
> _I couldn’t even kill myself. I ended up promising I wouldn’t._
> 
> _I woke up in the hospital._
> 
> _~~They said I was being treated well as a courtesy t~~ _
> 
> **_I couldn’t take it._ **
> 
> _I had them move me as soon as possible."_

It ends with a sort-of question. Then a plea.

> _"He has long-term plans for us._
> 
> _~~I’m going to be around for a while as long as I don't screw up too badl~~ _
> 
> _~~I want th~~ _
> 
> _~~Is that what yo~~ _
> 
> _~~What should I do~~ _
> 
> _~~What do you wan~~ _
> 
> **_Is this really okay?_** _"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/9/17


	10. The Switch (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru gets that restaurant—Annnnd it goes straight to shit. He slips away to use an ATM and WTF can these two just trust each other or what? Then there’s more eating and driving.
> 
> Namatame’s fine now, of course. Ryoutarou was right on that one.
> 
> Yuudai’s got a job proposition for Tohru—So he ain't bound by a Velvet Room contract, but he's negotiating a different type of deal. One that might get him out of any kind of legal trouble?
> 
> And remember Endgame Tohru? It looks like he’s back for a while~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adachi’s using Yuudai’s first name in his head so we’re not confusing. I haven’t decided what I’ll do for Kanji’s chapter. He can’t just call them both Doujima. Hurrrr... Maybe he’ll permanently switch over to Ojisan, even in his head. That’d make my life easier. I feel like Kanji wouldn’t call Ryoutarou by his first name; dunno why but I get that vibe. He’s pretty respectful when he’s not feeling threatened.
> 
> I’m designing Yuudai as though she comes from “the Naoto school of manliness” but is even more manly, haha!! I tried to have her use aggressive, prodding speech and act like she’s always in control f the situation. I don’t know how well it all comes through in the first chapter she’s in, but we’ll see.
> 
> Did you know that they have hot canned coffee in Japan? It’s the WORST PRODUCT DESIGN EVER. HOT METAL. I almost burned my hand the first time because I didn’t realize. One time a vending machine was screwed up and I got a molten bottle of juice. I thought the plastic was gonna melt in my hand...

Chapter Eight: The Switch

(Tohru)

We end up at a diner between the outskirts of Tokyo and Narita. It's a small, quiet place—Probably only empty because it's a little after lunchtime.

And they _do_ have Western food!

I fidget, moving around the silverware and folding the menu. Ryoutarou gives me a look and I flatten the beyond-bent mess on the table.

"Going to remember how to use a fork?" he gibes.

"Bet _you_ can't," I retort. "You don't even own a fork, do you?"

He squints, like he's thinking. "I do now," he triumphantly smirks. "I have _yours_."

"Cheater," I huff, folding my arms.

Someone comes by to take our order and I get spaghetti napolitan. He orders hamburg steak.

I finally remember to check my phone—Kubo texted me back some time ago. Felt it buzz.

_“sounds like youre getting burned”_

_Well that’s obviously not true—_

I glance up at Ryoutarou. He’s just leaning on his hand and staring out the window, bored.

_He said I’m coming home. He wouldn’t lie after all that..._

I must be glaring because Ryoutarou furrows his brow and asks me “what the hell”.

I sigh. “You know what this looks like.”

He picks his head up and glances anxiously around the room. “What _what_ looks like?” he inquires. “We look too...”

“ _No_ —Idiot—” I groan. “This whole trip looks like you’re trading me off.”

“ _What?_ ” he hisses, trying to keep his voice down. Just then, our food arrives and he’s quiet and less grumpy, thanking the waiter. But he immediately goes back to angry right after, lowering at me across the table and not touching his food.

I shove a mouthful of catsup-y spaghetti into my mouth to stall. He stares at me until I swallow and speak again. “You’re taking me _all_ the way to Narita. In a cop car—I can _tell_ that you’re carrying. I felt the gun when I leaned against you earlier. It looks like you’re setting me up to trade me off for something.”

He’s all red and _so pissed_ —

_Looks like I slapped the shit out of him or something, that amount of mad and shock._

“Nnnn—I wouldn’t _blame_ you,” I try, shoving more noodles into my mouth. “ _Uhm_ —It just really paints a picture, when you line up all the details like this.”

Ryoutarou’s got that outraged curve to his eyebrows—The one he reserves for things like me being an asshole and—err— _betrayal_.

_Was Kubo actually right?_

After what feels like for fucking ever, Ryoutarou shoves his food away, almost flipping the plate. “I’m going up front to pay. Meet me back outside—I’m not eating with you if you’re going to be like this.”

I watch him walk away and feel a surge of that niggling panic. It’s been working its way through my brain, and now it’s attempting to break through to the surface.

I swallow my fear and put away the rest of the food. I even eat his. _He’d never make something like this at home—_

_Shit am I even going back?_

_It would serve me right for all the times I’ve crossed him._

When I’m done, I put on my fake smile and wave to the hostess. _There was a Family Mart a few buildings up the street._

_I’ll get some cash for insurance..._

I see Ryoutarou leaning against the car, smoking. I narrow my eyes as my survival instinct kicks in. _I can make it down the block without him noticing._

_And if he does, it’ll be a lesson to the both of us._

Leaving stealthily, I slip down the alleyway two buildings over, taking the more sheltered path. Ryoutarou hasn’t so much as turned around—He’s on the street side of the patrol car.

I’m almost at the other end when I feel a hand grab my shoulder— _I’m not afraid._

I know _it’s gotta be_ _Ryoutarou._

I hear a sad mumble: “So you really _don’t_ trust me.”

_Fuck._

_He knew—_

I sigh, putting my hands up and starting to turn around. _Not much I can say._

I fold my arms and stare at him, letting my weariness show through. _Yes, ‘weariness’._

_I’m fucking exhausted._

“So where were you going?” Ryoutarou quietly asks. “Don’t stop on account of me. I simply wanted to know.”

“FamiMa.”

“That’s all?” he inquires, cocking an eyebrow. He sighs and keeps his argumentative stance. “Cause you didn’t have to sneak away for that. What’s _really_ going on?”

I relent, pulling out my smartphone. “Objectively, it seems an awful lot as though you’re getting rid of me. Only Kanji knows where we are, and he wouldn’t care either wa—”

“What about Nanako?” he interrupts. “You think she’d let me do that?”

“ _I_ don't think you’d give much of a shit what she thinks about it.”

His jaw drops open and he falters a little, his hand twitching into a fist. I narrow my eyes. “Am I wrong?”

Ryoutarou steps towards me, his expression more heated now, but I don’t back away. “You’re wrong about a lot of things,” he tells me. “Go to the fucking konbini and get back to the car.”

_Really curious now—_

“What _would_ you do if I walked away? If I slipped out in the middle of nowhere.”

He takes another directed step towards me and I reflexively back into the wall. _Shit._

“ _I don’t know,_ ” he forces the words out, screwing up his face.

_That’s enough of this bullshit—_

I stick out my hand, pressing my palm against his chest to gently push Ryoutarou away. “ _Okay._ That’s not what’s going on with me, _so chill_.” I sigh. “I’m taking money out of the ATM because I don’t have much from after I paid Kubo befo—”

Ryoutarou’s eyes flash. “ _Wait_ —Kubo told you this?” he disdainfully spits, figuring it out.

My eyes slide downwards. “No...”

“ _Yes_ ,” he insists.

“Yes...” I groan. “Yeah, okay—Just come with me to the FamiMa. I’m getting cash and you should eat.”

Ryoutarou backs up, still looking both bristly and hurt. I grab his hand and tug him behind me, back the way I came and down to the small convenience store.

He waits outside while I take out a lot of cash. I pick out a peace offering of gyoza and a mentaiko omusubi for him, and a bag of shimi choco sticks for me. I grab a few cans of cold black coffee and pay in cash, then carry it all back outside.

“Here,” I mumble, shoving the box of gyoza at him.

Ryoutarou's eyes are still angry slits. "Just because they're my favorite..."

"There's also mentaiko. But you don't get the Boss until you let up."

He looks at me sideways, chewing on the fist gyoza. "Hnn."

Nothing else is said by either of us until the gyoza are gone. "Trust _me_. Not Kubo or anybody else."

"Yeah," I snort. " _Only_ trust you. _Forever_..."

Ryoutarou huffs and rubs my head. "You know what I mean." He hands me the empty tray and I shuffle it back into the bag, taking out the rice ball and my snack. I put the small cans of cold coffee in my pockets.

Ryoutarou snatches away the omusubi while I'm busy. He leans against the car again to eat.

"So how'd you know?" I query.

"I know you— _Mostly_ ," he asserts around a mouthful of food. "I figured if I waited patiently, you'd make a break for the alleyway if you were going to run away." His eyes look serious, but he isn't glaring anymore. "After you said you thought I was turning you over somewhere, I don't doubt you downed both meals, politely scrambled out, and went right for the corner store."

He points down the road, to where it bends sharply, and exhales. " _Moron_ —I could see you in the mirror up there."

Sure enough, there's a wide-angle mirror mounted on the corner of a building. _Damn._

_Have I lost my touch?_

"Stop frowning," Ryoutarou scolds. "I'm glad I can read you enough. We're supposed to be partners."

I take a deep breath and shove my hands in the sweatshirt pocket. I draw out one of the coffees and hand it to him.

"I wasn't running. Just getting insurance—The money. I know I can't bribe my way out of anything with the paltry amount I've got left, but if I can escape from some where... I can get away with cash.” I pause to laugh bitterly. “The one thing our cash society is good for.”

"How many times have you 'escaped' in your life?"

" _A few_ ," I admit.

Ryoutarou sighs and hands me the wrapper. "Don't worry about that crap anymore. We're in this together."

"Okay. I'll try."

He cuffs me on the shoulder and finishes the coffee. "What happened to not writing me off?"

"I said I wasn't leaving," I protest. I can hear a whine in my voice— _Hate that shit!_

"Oh- _kay_ ," he breathes, drawing out the word while he crushes the empty can. He hands it to me and opens the door to get back in the car.

I start to fume, but climb back in, too. "What do you want from me?" I mutter.

I watch him turn the car on. When Ryoutarou turns around to back out, and then I can see his face—less guarded in that moment—for the first time today I realize how unsettled he really is.

_People are a pain._

When he's done backing up and stops to put the car in drive, I cover his hand with mine. Ryoutarou looks up at me and I can see the anxiety pulsing in his eyes. Can read it loud and clear.

I lean over and kiss him. A good, serious kiss. When I pull away though, he looks confused more than nervous. _It's something._

"Wh-what was that for?" Ryoutarou haltingly asks.

I shrug. "Looked like you needed it."

"Haah," he sighs. "I _don't_ get you..."

I close my eyes again while we zip through a number of smaller towns. Ryoutarou puts on the radio and we're at ease.

Until his phone rings.

"What?" Ryoutarou says into his cell. Then he lets out a more surprised noise. "What?!" he barks. " _You're at my house?_ "

"Who is it?" I tap him.

He ignores me and keeps yelling. "You decided it was a good idea to just show up?! There isn't even anyone there—"

Ryoutarou's going really red and he's got that enraged look on his face. So I reach over and yank the phone out of his hands. "Who is this?!" I spit.

"I-it's Ryota!" the man on the other line stutters. "What'd I do?!"

_Aurgh!!_

I laugh derisively. "You picked the wrong day, _idiot_. No one’s home. No one will _be_ home until tomorrow—Get lost!"

Ryoutarou's now directing his displeasure at me, trying to make a grab for the phone. I lean away from his hand. "I got this—" I assure him, covering the mic.

"Ryota." I sigh, trying to sound annoyed, when really this is kind of amusing. " _Look._ You can't just show up in town or at our house. You need to call first— _And not through the TV!_ "

"I used the phone because no one was there," he grumbles.

I smack the dashboard. "Then why the fuck would you go over?! We have other problems right now. And use the phone from now on— _Pho-o-o-ne_ ," I drag out the word. “You clearly know what a _phone_ is.”

"I don't have your number. I took Ryou's from Marie."

I tell him the digits and wait while he adds me to his address book. "Where are you even staying?" I question.

"They have a house nearby—"

"Who has—You know what? _I don't care._ ” I smack the dashboard. “How far is it?"

"About a forty-five minute walk," he bluntly replies.

I drum my fingers— _This is too funny._

"Lemme guess—" I sarcastically intone. "You like walks, huh?"

"Yes."

"Okay." I scratch my head, trying to figure out the next step, here. "Why don't you come by later in the week? After we get home I'll let you know what's good. We're _both_ working, so you can't just come around in the middle of the day."

I hear a familiar "hnn" through the line and roll my eyes. " _You're working?_ Who the hell would hire a goddamn slacker like you?"

"Ryota?" I quip.

"What?"

" _Fuck off!_ " I mash the end button and snap Ryoutarou's old fucking cell closed. I hand it back to him and he looks a little less angry. " _I_ can take care of the shadows. You focus on the rest."

He glances at me after he throws his cell in the cup holder. "Alright," he agrees. “Fine. I’ll leave it to you."

I nod confidently. "Want another coffee?" I chuckle.

Ryoutarou give me the ‘Moron Look’. "How many did you buy?"

"There's more than one person I need to bribe, apparently."

"Mnn..." Ryoutarou agreeably grumbles, holding out his hand. Then asks me to turn on my smartphone's GPS. "We’re getting close, but I don't know where exactly."

I type in the address and direct him down a bunch of narrow roads. "Ever been to Narita?" I ask.

"Yes."

"I haven't. Lived so close, too—Turn here. It's that one." I point to a nondescript low-rise office building. "That's it?" I scratch at my head again and peer at the ordinary-looking place.

Ryoutarou snorts. "Looks can be deceiving." He pulls into a visitor space and throws the police car into park. "Okay," he breathes, reaching over to open the glove compartment. "Put your damn guns in there."

"Huh?" I sniff, narrowing my eyes. "I don't have a—"

"Yes, you do." Ryoutarou pats one of my pants' pockets. "I noticed it earlier. I doubt you've got just one."

I groan and cross my left leg on my other knee. I raise the cuff to show off a derringer. "It's better to have _one_."

"We're taking a non-confrontational stance—To start with. And guns are still in violation of your parole."

_And speaking of parole—My parole officer is coming by later this week._

_I guess I should try..._

I unstrap the holster and shove it in the glove compartment. "How am I supposed to act?" I quip.

He reaches back over to snap the cupboard closed and lock it. "You're _going_ to act however you want—So I'm _asking_ you to use your best judgment. Think before you do."

I nod. "Don't worry." I take off the sweatshirt and look down at myself. _I appear decently professional—I know that makes him feel more confident._

_We'll be fine._

Ryoutarou squeezes my shoulder and finally opens his door. "Let's go, then."

I exit the car and follow him to the main entrance. Inside, the building has a _completely_ different vibe than the boring, normal affect it gives off. _That's hiding in plain sight, for you..._

It's modern, with day-bright bulbs to make up for the lack of large windows. You have to check in at "Reception", which is definitely a heavily guarded checkpoint—I can glimpse a metal detector through the small window decorating the _only_ door.

When we walk over to speak with the receptionist, they don't say anything—It's up to us to make the first move. I wait silently while Ryoutarou states his name and that he's here to pick up papers for "Tatsumi Kuma" and make sure Namatame is released.

_Is this an office or some sort of holding pen? I can't read what goes on here, and I'd rather not walk in unknowledgeable._

_I don't like this..._

We're buzzed through the door and then have to walk through the hi-tech machine, get patted down, and have copies made of our IDs. Ryoutarou is told to leave his USP in the guard's care—That he'll need only his license retrieve it.

We’re told which floor and office, and make out way there. Sure enough—The one we stop at is labeled “Dojima Yuudai - Chairman”. Ryoutarou makes an aggravated noise, so I slip my left hand into his right before he knocks.

When the door opens a few seconds later, I feel a surge of hostility when I see her— _She is definitely that bitch who pushed for stronger sentencing._ I feel my teeth showing, so I rush to close my mouth.

I feel Ryoutarou squeeze my hand a few times until I calm down enough.

“Ah— _Hello_ ,” he tries.

“Hnn,” Yuudai replies— _And what the fuck is this a family trait or something?!_ “I see you’ve finally come crawling back.”

Now that I know, there is a clear resemblance—They’re both tall, with sharp eyes and a few other similar features. And that aggressive, in-charge way they speak to everyone.

“You have something of mine,” Ryoutarou impassively replies, dropping my hand to pull out a cigarette, a motion the older woman notices.

Yuudai frowns. “The hell is that?” she colloquially barks, snatching away the pack of smokes.

I pluck the box back instantly. The two people stare at me like they’d forgotten I exist. “My _name_ is Adachi.” I light a cigarette and pass it to Ryoutarou.

“Bodyguard?” his mother jeers.

“Something like that,” I retort, sliding the rest of them back into his pocket. And they’re still gawking. “What?” I quip. “I was _asked_ to come along. What did you expect?”

Ryoutarou shakes his head to clear it and takes a drag off the cigarette. “We’d like the papers. Where is Namatame?”

“He’s down the hall,” she gestures with a flick of her head. “He’s working however, so don’t disturb him until his break.”

“ _‘Working’?_ ” Ryoutarou questioningly repeats.

Yuudai nods. “We’ve made a deal.” She gives us a smug smile. “I have a similar proposal for you.” She looks right at me and raises an eyebrow. “I’ll explain if you’ll join me for coffee.”

“No, we’ll be leaving with the documents,” Ryoutarou replies for me. I make a face and he grunts. “Let’s go, _Tohru_.”

_Sure, now he’s fine using my name in public—When he’s obviously trying to get me to listen to him._

“Let ‘Tohru’ decide for himself. He’s his own man, yeah?” Yuudai folds her arms and waits for my answer.

I look between the two of them, feeling like one of those animals getting yelled for by both sides. Ryoutarou looks like he’s on the edge of anger, while the woman gloats. He’s going splotchy red again. I scratch my head and sigh.

I make a decision and pull a can of Boss out of my pocket. “Well, we already have coffee, what else can you offer me?” I smirk.

“Cafeteria vouchers,” she spits, less happy than before. _Someone likes to think they’re in charge..._

“Fine—Let’s go,” Ryoutarou grumbles. He looks to Yuudai to lead the way, a suspicious expression playing across his face. “How long until Namatame is free?” Ryoutarou asks, rudely tapping the end of his cigarette, dropping ash on the floor.

Yuudai doesn’t pay it any attention. “A few hours.”

“ _Oi_ —We don’t have that long,” Ryoutarou reiterates.

“We’ll see,” the woman tells him, and ushers us into an elevator. We ride to the top floor—Not that it’s too high, only the eighth.

_But there are a bunch more buttons, looking like they lead to basements._

“We have ten additional floors underground,” Yuudai explains, as if reading my mind. “ _Test facilities._ ”

Ryoutarou glares and stubs his cigarette on the wall of the elevator, then drops it to the floor.

“Pick that up,” Yuudai admonishes, but doesn’t lose her cool. “I didn’t raise rude children.”

Ryoutarou simply stares at her and I get the feeling that he _is_ acting like a complete child— _Way worse than I’ve ever seen before._

Not enjoying this standoff, I personally pick the cigarette off the ground, and try to smile amiably at Ryoutarou. He falters, and I can see he's realizing he's being a jackass. I take his hand again with a sigh.

And that's when she notices. This lady was at several of my court dates and I've seen her around when I worked in Tokyo—she was some police bigwig—and this is someone whom I've _never_ seen appear surprised.

Her eyes widen for a brief moment before she regains control of herself.

"Stop that," Yuudai orders. "You look like queers. Adults don't hold hands like that."

"They do if they're in a relationship," Ryoutarou retorts. "And no one says 'queer' anymore."

"Well, actually..." I mumble, and Ryoutarou gives me a 'shut up' look.

The elevator dings and we silently file out. The cafeteria takes up a good portion of the top floor and has large windows. _There's so many different food stations, and I know I ate two meals like two hours ago, but this is too good to pass up!_

"Get whatever you want and put it on my tab," Yuudai snaps. “Then we'll go to a conference room down the hall.”

_Someone's done with the niceties..._

While I take different dishes off the line and stack them on my tray, Ryoutarou glares at me. "What?" I tiredly ask.

"We should be leaving."

"I'd like to know what the job is. I need a job, remember?" I reply.

Ryoutarou runs a hand through his hair and grumbles at me. "I _got_ you a job..."

"I need to build a _resume_ ," I respond. "Not knit and play with fabric."

_This could be something I’d enjoy._

The cashier tallies everything up and then we're walking back over to his mother. "You didn't tell me you want to build a resume." _Now he looks hurt._

_Oh boy..._

"I hadn't thought about it. I didn't think I could get back into law enforcement. But this job has to have something to do with either that or politics, right? It'd be a good step."

Yuudai is clearly studying our interactions like a hawk, now. Or some other angry bird. "This way," she curtly tells us. We walk a little ways and enter a small meeting room.

I set down my food and dig in. Ryoutarou shoots me a disgusted look, so I pass him the last can of coffee. He exhales loudly, but accepts, popping the tab and taking a sip.

"So what's Namatame doing?" I ask, hoping I sound interested.

"With help from us, he was able to manifest his Izanagi," Yuudai smugly confides. "And we'd like to see yours."

" _He doesn't ha—_ " Ryoutarou angrily starts, slapping the table.

I step on his foot as hard as I can. "What's _that_?" I dumbly question.

"Yeah, what's that?" Ryoutarou boredly echoes, clearly not meaning it.

Yuudai pages through some sort of report in front of her. "We have reason to believe that you have a special ghost inside of you," she explains, appearing to be a good sport.

_Until she abruptly changes tactics—_

"But cut the crap, you already know all this don't you?"

I hold out my arms and smirk, not ready to give anything up.

"If you'd like to see if you have the potential, we will reimburse you for your time," Yuudai carefully words her proposal.

"Could this lead to a permanent position like my old one?" I question, tapping my finger on the table. "I'd like something like that again."

" _No. Fucking. Way_." She enunciates each word, keeping a straight face. "You should still be locked up— _But_ —" she pauses to point at me. "We could possibly negotiate the house arrest, giving you more freedom."

"Hmm," I loudly hum.

Yuudai flicks her eyes to Ryoutarou, who's leaning back in the chair with folded arms, the small can of coffee already gone. "I'm not convinced my moronic son even makes you wear the tracking bracelet."

" _Excuse me?_ " Ryoutarou indignantly huffs. "I took it off today because I was told to by _your people_!"

I narrow my eyes. "He's never been anything but a rule-follower," I supply. "And I don't appreciate the insinuation that he'd let me walk off. He five-hundred percent would _not_ —He takes this bullshit _way_ too seriously." I scoff, and I can feel myself getting worked up—

And I realize that's what this woman _wants_.

_Knows that then I'll make a snap decision about all this—_

I don’t take the bait. "Do you have some sort of contract drawn up? I bet you do," I say.

Yuudai smirks and draws out a clear file. "Everything is in here. I hope you'll peruse it and get back to me soon."

"Fine," Ryoutarou interrupts. "Now where are Tatsumi's papers?"

"Oh, did I not mention that Tarou has them? He's worked so hard so I let him hang on to them. He should be free shortly."

"Good," Ryoutarou concludes. "Then we'll be leaving." He stands and yanks me with him. I grab the folder so I can at least take a look at whatever this is.

"I was hoping to ride back to Inaba with you," Yuudai sweetly calls after us, smiling knowingly at Ryoutarou.

"Over my dead body," he mumbles.

The woman opens the conference room door and rests her hand on his shoulder. "Ooh, but I do need to meet this Kuma-kun. I have reason to believe he's from another world."

_Shit—_

"So I'll definitely be in your neck of the woods. I was hoping we could put the past behind us and I would be able to see my only granddaughter."

" _No._ "

"She could get pulled in for questioning, and it would be a shame for her to meet me in such a way... When we _are_ family and all. I _know_ how important family is to you."

" _Oww_ —" I hiss. _He's gonna break my fucking fingers!_

Ryoutarou lets up on my hand and squares off with Yuudai. "You get _one_ chance."

"How many chances have you given the _murder_?" she rails, landing a decisive hit.

_He's squeezing my hand again—_

"That's not your business."

"I know more than you think. All of our platitudes may not reflect the depth of my knowledge on _personas_ —"

_She used the fucking word!!_

_She does know more than she's letting on._

"—but I know it _all_. I know how deep his involvement goes. And he's a danger to you and Nanako."

_He's still clutching my hand so fracking hard—_

_Ryoutarou's going splotchy and dark once more, and this time the woman is, too. Damn they seem a lot alike._

"He's not a ' _danger_ '—He needs _help_! Which he's getting, _as you know_ , because it was a part of his conditional release— _Which you approved._ " Ryoutarou’s advancing more, acting aggressive—

_And what the fuck happened to our 'non-confrontational stance'?!_

But he's still going. "He's definitely not the _'national threat_ ' you tried to paint him as, and if you insist on pursuing further incarceration, once his sentence is over, _the three of us will move so far you will never see us again_."

Ryoutarou drops my hand to walk right up to her, getting in her face. Yuudai straightens, pulling herself up to her full height— _And damn she's a lot taller than I'd thought._

"So back the fuck off if you want _any_ contact," Ryoutarou concludes. "He's family now, _more to me than you are._ "

_Ooh dammit. I do not think that was the right thing to say—_

_My wheels are spinning out of control._

_Control—_

_I don't have any control over this argument—_

_This situation—_

_Fucki—_

_These are not people I want fighting. It won't end badly for just me, but all of us._

In that moment, it's as though a switch flips inside me.

"That's quite enough," I calmly intone, stepping closer to the two commanding presences. "We all need to back up and take a breather."

Their heads snap around in my direction and both people give me inquisitive stares. _That's right. I'm stepping up to deescalate this idiocy._

"Why don't we all think on it and discuss it later, if we're all going in the same direction," I assertively instruct.

They stare like idiots, and Ryoutarou's mouth falls open.

"We'll ride separately," I declare. "I remember the floor plan. Point us to Namatame and we can find out own way out."

Yuudai watches me knowingly—She's seen my demeanor change before. It happened one day in court.

The day they cut me the deal.

_When the pressure gets to be too much, I feel almost strangely calm._

_It only works when other people are involved. I can't do it when there's a me-problem._

_But only when I both feel cornered and have something to protect._

We're given directions to Namatame's "provisional office", he’ll be going back to Tokyo at the end of the week. They told his aide he's on a business trip, and once they stopped pretending he was a hostage, he's apparently been very compliant and interested in finding out more about his persona.

_Bastard still thinks he can use it to save people._

_No one needs his saving._

Back in the elevator by ourselves, Ryoutarou studies me. "What the fuck was that?" he incredulously questions.

"I was taking care of the shit you were screwing up," I respond.

"You're different."

"I'm taking charge," I evenly reply. "Somebody had to."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Ryoutarou demands.

I sigh, knowing he's going to be pissed again if I call him out. "You were getting really riled up. So I stepped in to make sure you didn't start making threats— _Real_ threats," I clarify. “In a government building.”

" _I know what I'm doing._ "

"Okay, well it's over anyhow." The elevator doors open and we head out to find Namatame's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/31/17


	11. I want... (Teddie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddie waits while Nanako reads, and they talk a little about it. Then they eat dinner and Kanji tells Nanako to just stay there. They play a card game before bed... (And hmm—The notebook didn’t say anything Teddie-specific, so she will have to talk to Tohru about that later.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it’s not Nanako and Teddie for the sake of Nanako and Teddie. I’m more focused on Teddie processing everything right now.
> 
> Last night I did a load of research on Japanese prisons and “aftercare”. I have some stuff coming up—like the parole officer—so I needed to know what kinda stuff should be included. Adachi is one lucky little fucker... Because of his relationship with Doujima, things are significantly easier for him in terms of aftercare. Doujima can just be his volunteer, and work escort, as I’d mentioned before. (The work escort is a US thing, but I didn’t see anything on it for Japan, so I’m going to assume it’s similar.)
> 
> So, volunteers—Apparently, there are volunteer cops or retired cops who do probation check-ups post-incarceration. There’s nothing too formal unless you’ve committed a serious crime or they’re worried you’ll relapse. I think in Adachi’s case there would definitely be someone working in a more official capacity—Which is why I’m having someone do a visit.
> 
> Also as a side note, Wikipedia said usually they’re cops around fifty or fifty-five and retired. That’s a friggin YOUNG retirement age! I don’t know if it’s like that for other careers in Japan, but I’m going to assume not. I know with more trying jobs, retention can be iffy, but that surprised me...

Chapter Nine: I want...

(Teddie)

I read a magazine while Nanako looks at her notebook. I can’t help peering over to check her progress.

_I wanna know what’s in there too..._

_I wanna know everything he didn’t tell me—_

_I wanna know when he knew who I was!_

“Why can’t I remember,” I mutter aloud—Not realizing until it’s out and I’m covering my mouth with my hands.

When I look up, I realize Nana’s face is upset, too. “What is it?” I anxiously ask her.

She shakes her head. “There’s so much... I don’t even know where to start.”

I nod, staying quiet so she can have time to think. She flips through the pages again and I can see Tohru’s messy kanji scrawled all over the place. Some aren’t in the lines, some are really big, some are drawn over more than once...

I lean in to have a closer look when Nanako sighs. One page looks like he cried on it. There’s a _lot_ crossed out here.

“What does it say?” I question.

“Mm,” Nana replies. “Which words can’t you read?”

“That one and that one... This one...”

She tells me the kanji and I copy them down as best as I can on my phone.

“Two aren’t the whole word,” Nanako tells me. “He stopped partway through. That’s why you can’t tell.”

“Ooh,” I breathe.

“Now that you know, can you tell what he’s saying?”

I nod quickly. “He’s asking for help, right?”

“Yes...” she kind of agrees. “I think he’s asking for reassurance more than help. He might want advice, but I think he’s searching for my opinion on this.”

“Let’s call and ask!” I smile.

Nana laughs. “Not right now,” she tells me. “They might be busy.”

“Where did they all go?” I question.

“I don’t know. Somewhere in Tokyo.” She pauses. “Or _near_ Tokyo. They’re dropping Kanji outside the city, so I’m unsure.” Nana narrows her eyes. “Dad was being secretive.”

"Oh," is all I say, pulling out my phone to text Tohru. _I wonder if he's having fun._

_Why won't he talk to me?_

I glance over at the other room when I hear Kaasan enter the house for the evening. "When will dinner be?" she calls.

"How about soon?" I ask. _It's already after six._ "We can start now!"

Nana begins to put her stuff away, but I tell her not to worry. I can chop the veggies myself!

When they're ready, I do ask for help. Nanako measures out dried fish flakes and cuts kelp to make the base, and takes out a bunch of other stuff for the rest of the broth. I sit and pay good attention while she explains what everything is and how much I should put in.

We call Kaasan when everything is set out and the soup is boiling on the portable burner. "Kanji's not the only one who can cook, anymore!" I tell Kaasan.

She laughs. "I don't believe I've ever eaten a meal made by Nanako before."

"And me!" I raise my hand.

"And you," she agrees, smiling.

Nanako laughs and brings over glasses of water. Then we cook the food and it's _so good~_

There is a lot of cleaning, but it goes by faster with someone to talk to! Nanako scrubs the dishes and I bring everything over. Then I dry and put stuff away.

Kanji calls her when we're just about done. They talk for a minute and then she hands the phone to me.

"How's your trip?!" I ask him.

Kanji grunts. "We're bringing an extra one home, apparently. The ojisan told me to wait at the station and they'd be here soon. I don't really know what's going on, but Dojima sounded pissed. Nanako can stay with us tonight. I think we'll be back late."

"Yay!!" I can't help yelling.

"Uhh, have her stay in my room or something. Don't make a it hard for Ma, okay?" he says. "You can use the washer and you know where towels are. Help me out, yeah?"

"Okay~" I cheer and hang up, not realizing he was still talking until he calls back.

"Bear," Kanji sighs. "Make sure to actually _sleep_. She has school and you have work."

I nod a lot. "Yeah!!"

"Alright. Have fun. Let me know if you need anything."

"Okay! Bye Kanji!!"

I hang up again and give Nana her phone back. I'm grinning and she giggles.

"Don't get too excited," she tells me. "It's already getting late."

"Yeah..." She's right. "Hmph! We have time! Lemme show you where everything is~"

Nanako thanks Kaasan on the way upstairs, and drops her things in Kanji's room. "No!" I stop her. "I'll stay here and you can stay in my room! My futon's comfier!!"

"Okay," Nanako smiles, picking her backpack up again.

I throw open the door to my room and then I remember it's a mess. "Oops—" I yell, hurrying to put things in order. I put away the snacks, take down the cushion tower, and throw my dirty clothes in the hallway. "All done!"

"Tohru-jisan doesn't put his away, either," Nanako says, gesturing to my futon.

I nod. "It's always on the floor when I come over... But he doesn't even sleep there, right?"

"No," Nana shakes her head. "But he sits on it while he plays games."

"He plays a lot of games," I observe.

"Right?" she snickers. "I couldn't believe all his stuff was for an adult when Dad was moving it in!"

I have to laugh, too. "I wish he was better at sharing—He has so many games!"

"Why don't you bring one of yours over?" Nanako suggests. "You can see if he'll trade. If not," she frowns. "Let me know and I'll tell him to try. I think he'd listen."

"He really listens to you," I agree.

Nanako sits at the table and takes out her books again. "We had a good talk the other night. He respects me."

"Do you respect him?"

Nana chews on her lip, thinking. "Yes and no. I appreciate that he's honest and more open with me, but I hate how difficult it is to connect with him. He makes it hard on purpose, for other people."

I sit next to Nanako and watch as she works on math problems while we chat. "Like with me?" I ask.

"Yes," she nods. "And Kanji. And just about everyone else. If he tried a little harder it would be so much easier. It's frustrating because I know he _can_ do it—" Nana sets down her pencil, looking aggravated.

She taps it on the table. "Take the other night, after they came back from the TV."

"Yeah?" I reply.

"He and Kanji got along _so well_ that evening! But I doubt he kept it up. They're both people whose trust and respect you have to work for, but Tohru-jisan makes it practically impossible. He sets his standards so high and looks for reasons to dislike people."

"With Kanji you just have to be nice!" I add.

"Yes," Nanako says. "You have to be considerate of others. That's the main quality he looks for. Tohru-jisan takes too many things into account and tries to find reasons why he shouldn't trust people. And he gets jealous easy."

"He _does_!" I nod. "He likes to be better than people or closer to people, huh?"

Nanako sighs. "Yeah. And he can't always have his way." She finishes the last problem on the page and closest the book. "But that's enough about that. How about I get ready for bed and we play a game?"

"Okay!" I happily reply. "What kinda game?"

"I have a deck of cards," Nana tells me, searching in her bag. "Wanna learn a new game?"

“Ooh~ What is it?”

Nanako smiles super-kind. I almost don’t notice the look in her eyes because I’m so excited about the game.

“It’s called King’s Corners...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/31/17


	12. Everybody Shut the Hell Up (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryoutarou driving everyone back to Inaba. AND HOLY CRAP TOHRU HAS MET HIS MATCH FOR BITING BANTER.
> 
> Then Ryoutarou deals with this situation the way he deals with most situation: drinking! Then the guys start fooling around. Then he says some serious things, which make it easier for Tohru to make his decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> —>((TWO WARNINGS))<— (1) For drunk sex again. (2) And there’s consent, but it feels kinda dub-con because Tohru doesn’t really explain what he’s doing.
> 
> We're going to get another new character—Yuudai's mysterious aide. Yeah. I've thought up nothing on this one yet. Just that he exists... But he's gonna be important; that's why I'm making him! Or her. Undecided...
> 
> THANK YOU to everyone who has talked to me with feedback lately!! I love hearing from you and it's really encouraging~ Specifically thank you to Casey (who's been with me for a long time!), ribbonsandcorpses (who I know is out there!), Milligramme (your comments made me cry in a good way~), and AyaEmett (chatting has been loads of fun~)!!! Please keep reading if you have the time :D I need to run out to a meeting but will reply ASAP!
> 
> Lastly! I’ve been re-editing but I’m not done yet...

 Chapter Ten: Everybody Shut the Hell Up

(Ryoutarou)

In the parking lot, I pull the car to the front of the building. "We're really going to drive back with her?" I double-check, irritated. "Why'd you change your mind? Her damn aide's taking the _train_..."

"A reasonable question," Tohru nods placatingly. "I don't know her. I can't make a good decision without enough information," he levels.

I sigh. _Makes sense._

_I don't think I like cool-headed Tohru._

"I've got your back and you've got mine, _right_?" Tohru raises his eyebrows, mocking me.

"Right," I agree. "Okay..."

I unlock the doors and my mother pokes her head into the backseat.

"You're going to put your mother in the back of a police car?" she angrily questions, peering inside. "I was the chief of police for all of Tokyo..." She shakes her head derisively.

"I called shotgun," Tohru evenly replies, not turning around.

"You will _never_ have a shotgun," my mother quips.

_Fucking hell, I hate this already._

"One of you get us to the highway," I grumble.

Tohru pulls out his phone, but my mother "hnn"s and points me in the right direction first. I see Tohru put the sweatshirt back on and kick off his shoes again.

"Call Kanji," I tell him. "We're going to be later than I thought."

"Who's Kanji?" my mother asks.

"One of the brats," Tohru tells her.

I hear on of them sigh.

"What brats?"

"Your _bratty_ grandson's _bratty_ friends," Tohru plainly tells her, an edge to his voice.

My mother whacks the window. "You will _not_ call him a brat, _murderer_!"

"I've been called worse, bitch," Tohru retorts. “That the only thing left in the clip?”

Her next comment is directed at me and punctuated with a _whap_ behind my own head for each word. "This one's got a smart mouth, Ryou. Thought you liked quiet and pretty, not crazy and uppity."

I grit my teeth and reach over to unlock the glove compartment— _Need my migraine medication..._

I hear my mother gasp when Tohru's guns tumble into his lap. I groan, fishing for the bottle of pills.

"Wonder how _these_ got in here?" he nervously laughs, sliding them into his pockets.

"Tohru get my medication," I order; head throbbing.

The two are quiet until he hands me a pill and an open bottle of water.

"Thanks," I say, handing the water back to Tohru. "And call Kanji. Have Nanako stay there tonight. I don't think we'll be back until at least midnight." I sigh. "See if he can get _her_ a room at the inn, too."

He nods and turns away with the phone to his ear. "Hi," he starts, and then the conversation continues, with an overall decent vibe. _That's good._

_Can't pick him up soon enough..._

When Tohru's off the phone, the demon in the backseat speaks again. "I’m still trying to wrap my head around the apparent fact that my only son is a homosexual now."

I grip the wheel, wishing I could rip it off the car and let the thing take all three of us off a cliff.

"He's _Tohru_ -sexual. Know your terms," Tohru arrogantly jeers like a smartass. _That's not going to help things._

_I also don't like that he's smiling. As though he's enjoying this demented exchange._

"That's not a real thing," my mother gibes. "I'm not _that_ behind. And you have a woman's name so who the hell knows anything these days..."

"And yours is a _man's_ name. Got anything else I've heard a million times already?" Tohru taunts. "I can do this the whole ride home—To _our_ home. Where you won't be going."

"Please don't..." I uselessly plead.

"Hnn," I hear. "If not for almost killing my family, I might like this one _better_."

_...and with that, I can practically hear Tohru signing the job offer..._

It continues much like that until we stop for Kanji.

"Ojisan!" he happily greets me, opening the door to the backseat. I see him back up a little when two sets of eyes glare at him. "Uhh," he scratches the back of his neck.

"In or out, kid," my mother barks. Tohru snickers.

"You must be Dojima-sama," Kanji politely tries, ducking his head to take a seat. "I'm Tatsumi Kanji, Yuu's friend."

"I know," she curtly replies.

I pull away and see Kanji nod from the mirror. "Oh, okay."

"Why are you with these losers?" she interrogates him.

"H-huh?" Kanji balks. "'Scuse me, Ma'am?"

"You heard her," Tohru replies, ganging up on my friend— _Apparently 'In-Control Tohru' rolls with the punches._

_Super!_

Kanji looks like a deer in the headlights. "I'm also friends with the ojisan," Kanji manages.

Tohru turns around in his seat again. "He's definitely not _my_ friend," he confides in my mother, throwing Kanji under the bus by himself.

"W-wha—?" Kanji stupidly intones.

"This one seems polite but dumb," she agrees.

The kid looks like a kicked puppy. "O-ojisan?" he asks me.

"Kanji," I groan. "Maybe _you and I_ should take the train."

"If you abandon the convict, I'm turning him over at the nearest station," my mother informs me. "I'll say he escaped."

" _Ex_ -convict," Tohru amiably corrects. "I'm being _rehabilitated_. And if take your job," he says, brandishing the folder. "You promised a renegotiation."

"I'm a hard sell."

"You're both stubborn assholes," I mutter.

Kanji's put in his earphones and is ignoring the others. He meets my eyes, shaking his head helplessly.

I pull out my cigarettes and Tohru takes the box from me. I sigh for the umpteenth time, knowing he's going to put on a show.

Tohru puts it in his own mouth to light it and smokes like earlier before passing it to me. Then he tucks the pack back into my pocket and pats it, all smiles.

"Queers," a huffy voice scoffs from the backseat.

I see Kanji's eyes go wide and his mouth drop open.

" _What?_ " my mother inquires. "It isn't as though I called them 'fags'."

" _Holy shit!_ " Kanji gawks.

"What?" he's asked. "You too?"

He shakes his head, bewildered.

\---***---

"You're still acting off," I state as I shut the engine. Tohru and I sit in the garage for a few minutes in silence, and he seems strangely comfortable just letting everything be.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"I snapped earlier. I've got all this extra energy,” he gestures with his hands in the air. “But I'm calm and focused. It happens sometimes."

I frown. "It's never happened around _me_."

"Yes it has," Tohru replies without missing a beat. "It happened once when you were drunk. You didn't notice."

"Nn," I exhale. " _That_ sounds like a damn good idea."

"Don't you have work tomorrow?" he queries, sounding unhappy.

I nod. "I'm going in late." I open the door and exit the car, tired but more settled than this morning. "You coming in?" I ask, sending off a text to Sakamoto.

"Yeah," he replies, getting out as well.

_He still looks ridiculous in that sweatshirt paired with business casual. Plus it's fucking huge._

I sigh and stalk into the house. I kick off my shoes; take off my jacket and gun. I carelessly toss them onto the dining room table— _Nanako's not coming home anyhow._

_In which case—_

I throw my shirt and pants in a heap on floor and take a six-pack out of the fridge. I set the drinks on the low table, then collapse on the tatami mats. I crack open the first and down the whole can.

"Not gonna eat?" Tohru questions, settling in on the couch.

I roll my eyes. "Does it look like I'm going to eat?"

He chuffs and watches as I drink a second beer. "Are you going to sleep down here?"

I groan, remembering I hung everything in the yard this morning. "I'm not taking it all in. It's pitch black outside and heavy and I don't feel like it." I crush the second can and toss it to the floor.

_That sounded awfully whiny._

I exhale, opening another.

"Tohru, just go sleep on yours if you want. I'm spent."

"You're throwing a tantrum," he flatly tells me.

"You _angry_?" I quip.

Tohru grumbles something and slides over so he's sitting behind me. He yanks me so I'm leaning back between his legs, and I spill my drink a little.

"Shit—" I curse.

"Just stop," Tohru tiredly orders. He pulls the can from my hand and drinks the rest himself.

I lean back and look up at him. "Why're _you_ mad?" I spit. "You're gonna get a job and you'll be free."

He tosses the can to the floor and I grab two more off the table, handing him one.

"You're clearly not happy with the opportunity," Tohru remarks. He raises his eyebrows, watching me.

"I want it to be just us," I quietly admit. "I don't want those other people in my life again. You'd be working with my mother's team, and I'm sure more of them will pop up. I don't like it." I shake my head and moan.

I sip my drink more slowly, jolting when I feel Tohru press his icy can against the back of my neck. "That's cold, jackass."

"I know," he replies, cracking a smile. "Do _you_ know that you sound like me?"

"Huh?" I intone.

"You sound _jealous_."

"No..." I weakly protest. He taps the can on me again, and I yank it away from him. "I'll have yours if you're going to be a jerk—"

"Lighten up," Tohru sighs. "I'm just teasing."

We're silent for a time while I finish everything. "Go git me more," I tell Tohru.

"You're drunk enough," he sourly replies, nudging me with his leg. "You can only have it if you get it yourself."

"I can get't myself..."

I stand, pushing up off Tohru's knees. I'm admittedly a little unsteady, but I catch my balance and step forward. I hear Tohru sigh again, and then he wraps his arms around me, pulling me so I topple backwards onto him.

"C'mon— _Don't_ ," he chides. "You had enough."

I groan but don't try to get back up. "Can't sit still."

I feel Tohru breathe deeply a few times. He squeezes me to him and sighs.

"Why're'yu _so_..."

He laughs and buries his head in my neck. "I'm not going to be able to sleep. Too worked up from all the stress."

"Really?" I ask. "Then lemme..." I trail off, trying to turn myself around.

The asshole makes it as difficult as possible, acting like it's an accident—Squirming and moving his legs wrong and pretending like he's helping when he's really pushing me back down.

When I'm finally sitting next to him, glaring, I can see a smug look on his face. " _Sure_ you're not drunk?"

"Not _e'nuff_." I roll my eyes and pull Tohru to lean on me. "I wish you'd say 'no' and have a reg'lar job."

He shrugs. "I haven't even looked at it yet."

"You can already come'n'go as you please," I try. "If you wanna go somewhere else we'll figure it out—Jus' say th'word."

"No," Tohru shakes his head. "That's not it— _Why do you keep thinking that's what this is?_ " He groans and stares hard at me.

"B'cause...” I trail off, not wanting to finish the sentence. I sigh and keep going. “I thought you were takin' off for good today, kay?" I turn away from him, knowing I must look like I'm worried.

_I should just admit it..._

"I was _a'fraid_."

Tohru's staring at me. I can feel his gaze even though I'm looking away.

"When you're like this, you make it too easy for me," is all he says before he leans over and digs his teeth into my shoulder. "You're _mine_. I'm not leaving you." When I look over, his eyes are smoldering.

I recognize that my brain's been rewired to think his biting equals sex, but I don't care right now.

_But it is weird though, right?_

I turn, leaning my weight on Tohru and pushing him down on the couch. He bucks up to grind against me, hissing as I tug at his clothes.

Tohru groans when I lick his ear and graze skin with teeth, but it's _nothing_ like the way he does it. He writhes and I give the same treatment to his neck and chest. He doesn't protest when I keep heading lower.

_I certainly don't expect what he says next—_

"Do it."

"Huh?" I question, pulling away.

He leans back on his elbows. "Yeah. Do it."

"You'okay wi’that?" I ask— _He usually isn't._

"Yes," he nods.

"Alright," I comply, licking the inside of his thigh.

Tohru groans and I hear him dig his fingers into the couch. I search for his hand, moving it to rest it on my head while I keep working him.

"Ff—nmn—" is all he can get out. I'd laugh if I could right now.

When I finally sit back up, he's all flushed. "Hnn?" I ask, and I know I'm leering, but he only grins back.

"I'll show you something, too," Tohru tells me after he catches his breath. He easily pushes my backwards, sliding off my boxers. "You trust me?"

I nod.

"You better~" he jeers, sounding a little more like normal.

Tohru seats himself on my chest, facing away. When he starts to touch me, I realize he's holding me still. I can't push him off or get enough leverage to sit back up.

"What're you—" I mumble. I rub his back and try pulling him closer, but Tohru swats me away, positioning one leg over my dominant arm.

_How long has he been so much stronger than me?_

"Just wait," he instructs.

_For what...?_

After a few minutes I can tell I'm getting close, and this seems awfully anticlimactic—

When I start moving involuntarily, Tohru slows down. "Ah— _Wh_ —" I splutter, desperately grabbing at him.

“Slow down,” he tells me.

I try, but…

I guess I don't stop enough, because he pinches me at the base.

"Oww— _Fuck_ —Toh—Wha—" I try speaking again.

" _Trust_ me," he orders and there isn't much else I can do. My head's buzzing from the beer and his touch and this _sucks_.

"You not gonna let—" I start, but then he's moving again, leaning down to use his mouth. " _Damm_ —"

He sits back up when I'm close again. " _Wha’the fuck—_ "

_This is torture!_

" _Why—_ "

"One more time," Tohru tells me, rubbing my leg before pinching me again.

" _Oww—_ " I growl. " _Fuck!_ "

_I feel so completely stopped up—_

_It hurts!_

" _Can'take i—_ " I grit, but he interrupts me.

"Okay, go," Tohru says, sliding foreword. He yanks me so I land on top of him and fuck I still don't get the point of all that but—

"Hurry up," Tohru demands, pushing my back on my knees. "C'mon," he insists. "Or it'll be for nothing..."

I shake my head to try and clear it while he leans against me. I still feel uncomfortable—

Like I'm going to explode—

But also numb.

"Wanna see you," I groan, pushing him to turn over.

"Legs—" he yells, shoving them in my face. I hook one over my shoulder and pull the other out to the side so I can angle better.

And then I think I get it. Takes a minute for me to feel _anything_ again, but when I do, it's so, _so_ intense.

"Shit!" he yells before letting out a _loud_ moan—

_Glad we didn't open the damn windows..._

Tohru arches up against me, finishing hard. I try to ease up, but it's difficult after all that from before.

I get less frantic, but Tohru makes an annoyed noise and forces me down to him so he can nip my collarbone. "Go on," he breathes. "I can still—" he reaches for himself and I feel reassured knowing he's not completely done.

When were both spent, I collapse on top of him. Tohru laughs and wraps his arms around me.

"Let's go wash up," he says, shaking me.

"S’like four am," I complain. "Go by yourself."

" _No._ "

"Okay," I halfheartedly poke him. "Can you wait till morning?"

"You're just gonna sleep like _this_?" Tohru questions.

"Nn."

I feel Tohru sigh. "Lemme up."

"Oh," I reply, but roll to the side. "You'll co’back?" I mumble.

"Yeah."

It's quiet as I hear him pad into the downstairs bathroom. I think I drift off, but jolt back awake when he loudly walks into the room again. My eyes feel heavy, but I watch as he slides back into his pants and grabs a blanket from behind the couch.

Tohru sits and I scoot to lie on him again. He sighs and throws the blanket over me.

"What's the plan?" Tohru quietly asks, running his fingers through my hair.

"See if we get contacted, or you make your decision." We're quiet for a minute, and it's nice laying here...

"I know you're going to take it, Tohru." I open my eyes to look at him, and see that he's studying me, too. "You do what you have to."

He pats my head and nods.

"Make sure you live without regrets," I mumble.

" _I don't want to be the one to hold you back._ "

I'm unsure if I said that in my head or not...

I'm falling asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/31/17


	13. Resume (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There is a gap is due to incarceration, but you'll see that my references check out. In order, they are Inaba PD: Senior Detective; Tochigi Prison: Head Librarian; Owner: Tatsumi Textiles."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a pun! It's "resume" and not "résumé", but the point is that it's both...
> 
> This is VERY barebones. Slightly under 500 words. I wanted to give Kanji the next chapter, so this is mostly setup.

Chapter Eleven: Resume

(Tohru)

Once Ryoutarou's asleep, I move to the table so I can open the packet.

_Doesn't wanna hold me back, huh? Very few things hold me back._

_And I like him needy. It was kinda adorable._

_And it makes me feel needed._

I sigh, feeling more like myself again. Like all the adrenaline is finally gone.

I take a deep breath and open the folder, drawing out _several_ packets.

Shuffling through them, I can see that one is the actual contract, another has the facility rules, there's a list of objectives, and notes on pay. It looks like I'll be reimbursed for my time, but given "bonuses" if I can produce positive results.

There's also a letter from Yuudai. It says to include a résumé or something she can file away. And that "murderer" isn't a valid reason for a gap in employment. _Har har._

_I don't think Ryoutarou has a computer. Does Nanako?_

_Does anyone in this fucking town?!_

I read over all the papers, and then it's a little past six. I walk out back and call Kanji. _He might be able to help me out._

"Morning, Kanji-kun~" I sing.

"Hey, asshole," he counters. "You coming to work today?"

"Ooh," I exhale. "Fuck— _Sorry._ "

_Dammit I meant that. He is giving me a shot..._

Kanji snorts. "That a 'no'?"

"Well," I sigh. "Ryou's sleeping. He's going in late. Can _I_ come late?"

"Why not," Kanji grumbles. "I only care cause Ted's been looking foreword to this."

"Right. Well, I can't help it..."

Kanji sighs. "I got you. Let me know when you'll be arriving."

"Oh—I, _uh_ , needed to ask for a favor," I mumble.

"You?" Kanji questions. "What could you want from _me_?"

"Do you have a computer? I need to make a résumé," I tell him.

"Yeah," Kanji says. I hear him sigh. "Sure you can borrow it. But don't go digging, alright?"

I laugh haughtily. "I don't wanna know what the fuck weird shit you've got on there!"

"Jackass," Kanji retorts. "When do you need it?"

"An hour ago," I reply. "Could you— _uhh, please_ —bring it by for me?"

"Really? Right now?"

_Dammit. This is asking a lot..._

_I don't want to owe him._

"I need to get this done as soon as possible. It's important..."

"Yeah, okay." Kanji grumbles, but I don't think he minds too much. "I'll be there in a bit."

"Thanks," I quietly mumble and hang up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/31/17


	14. Kanji the Babysitter (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji cooks breakfast for the kids. Then he tries to be nice to Tohru and they have a fight. After, he finds out that Ryoutarou was drinking. He ain't happy. Kanji is at the end of his rope with their antics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kanji is the best parent. That is all.
> 
> Everyone’s so stressed with all that’s happened in like a week and a half. Kanji finally snaps today—Between all the shit he gets from Adachi and knowing Doujima is a shitty parent as it is, he was gonna snap at some point.
> 
> I really like straightedge Kanji. I mean, he drinks sometimes, but I have him as into moderation and stuff. I have a family member who doesn’t drink at ALL because they have an alcoholic parent. I think seeing alcoholism changes things for you. And his closest friend was (well he’s off the wagon) an alcoholic. Probably aggravating.

Chapter Twelve: Kanji the Babysitter

(Kanji)

After the hellish car ride back to Inaba, I slept on the couch cause Teddie was in my bed.

I rise at my usual time like clockwork and exercise out back. After, I start breakfast for everyone. Ma comes in partway and sets the table.

"Should you wake them?" she asks me.

"Naah," I laugh. "Nanako's got her shit together, and I bet she'll grab Ted."

Sure enough, the two come downstairs as I'm doling out omelets. Nanako's already got her uniform on and Ted's in his PJs.

"I wish your work ethic would rub off on the lazy bear," I tell Nanako.

She giggles. "At least he's awake!"

"Hmm?" Teddie sleepily asks.

"Open your eyes, Bear!" I laugh. "Your girlfriend's running circles around you."

"Whaaa?" he loudly complains. "I can run..." He yawns and lays his head on the table.

Nanako laughs and pushes his food closer. "Aren't you hungry?"

Ted dramatically sniffs the air and tries to suck the omelet off the plate. Ma swats the back of his head. "More politely," she corrects him, trying not to laugh.

Teddie whines, but sits up and uses his chopsticks.

I'm about to sit myself when my phone rings. I groan— _It's Adachi._

_I've had enough of him for a long time..._

"Morning, Kanji-kun~" he chimes.

"Hey, asshole," I reply, walking into the living room. "You coming to work today?"

I listen to him hem and haw and ask to use my laptop. I agree to bring it by after I eat.

\---***---

When I pull up at the Dojimas', Adachi's already sitting outside. _He looks exhausted!_

He's wearing the same clothes as yesterday and laying down on the front step. He sits up when I get out of my car, showing off the new laptop I'd saved up for.

"Kanji-kun!" he calls.

"Keep that up and I'm gonna start calling you Tohru-kun."

Adachi shrugs and holds out his hand for the computer. "Thanks," he surprisingly says when I pass it to him.

"We have a printer, if you need it," I offer. "And..."

"What?" Adachi asks, staring at me.

"Uhh, I can give you a ride if you wanna come over now. I don't mind."

He narrows his eyes, like he thinks I'm trying to trick him. "I can wait for Ryou."

" _Jeez_ ," I sigh. "I'm just trying to be nice. I even made omelets."

"Really?" Adachi asks, perking up.

I nod. "Yeah... I mean—If we're gonna be working together, we should get along better."

"So _that's_ what you'd get out of it," he replies like a jackass. "I haven't even changed or showered. I'd need to wake up Ryou..."

"You ain't five, go take a shower and I'll wait. Let Ojisan sleep." I fold my arms behind my head and start for the door.

Adachi gives me a real nasty look. "You think you know _everything, don't you_ , brat?"

"What?" I shoot back. "I say somethin' funny? You don't have to be around him twenty-four-seven—Don't jump down my throat!" I step closer to Adachi and glare right back.

He face gets all angry and we're toe-to-toe. "That's why I hate you kids—” he spits. “You're goddamn know-it-alls! Think you fucking know me better than _I_ do—"

"Then why don't you explain yourself? You don't tell anybody _anything_! It seems stupid that you can't go change on your own, unless something upstairs is gonna kill you—Like with Ryota. If not, I don't see the frigging problem."

"Of _course_ not!" Adachi spits in that taunting tone he has. " _Because you haven't been to fucking prison!!_ "

"O-oh," I backpedal, feeling somewhat shitty.

"Yeah," Adachi snorts. "Got nothing to say _now_ , do you?!"

_For the first time, when I think about how twitchy and nervous Adachi always is, I wonder what made him like that. He's always on the attack._

_Is it cause that's his defense?_

" _Don't you look at me like that!_ " Adachi hisses, stomping towards me.

"Yah!" I yelp, almost tripping over my feet to back up.

When I regain my balance, he's right in front of me, glaring up like he wants to kill me. "I don't want your fucking _pity_ , Kanji! Man up and get over it or get out of my sight!!" he hollers.

And _that's_ when I remember we're outside. In the front yard, probably attracting attention.

"Okay, okay!" I tell Loudmouth. "Let's go in. I'm sorry."

" _Better fucking be,_ " Adachi mutters, opening the door. Then he curses, stopping short in the entranceway and I smack into him. I sigh and start to take off my sneakers.

"No," Adachi tells me. "Go back outside," he groans. "Unless you wanna hear Ryou bitching—He's going to be super hungover and he's sleeping down here."

I roll my eyes, annoyed. "How much did he drink?"

"More than he freaking should've," Adachi admits, looking guilty as hell. "Most of a six-pack in less than an hour. No dinner."

"Should I yell at 'im?" I ask.

Adachi laughs. " _That's_ brave..."

He lets me push past him—

One of the few things we can agree on is that _Dojima shouldn't be drinking_.

The living room is a frigging mess. It smells like spilt beer and cans litter the floor. Dojima is passed out on the couch.

I snap the curtain open and hear him groan.

"Get the fuck up," I calmly say. _Once._

He covers his head with the blanket like a kid. I sigh and rip it off.

 _That_ wakes him up—

And surprises the hell outta me!

" _Oh what the fuck Adachi—He's naked!!_ " I roar.

"God, kid!" Dojima moans. " _Shut up!_ " he cries, groaning and rolling onto the floor. "Oww! _Goddammit!!_ "

I don't know which one I'm more pissed at now.

"You two are such a fucking mess!" I scream, throwing the blanket at Dojima and then stalking over to the table. I sit and try to calm down enough that I can talk to them like adults— _Even though they act like they aren't._

"Fuck, _you two_..." is all I can get out. "Were you even telling the truth before, Adachi?" I ask.

He pales. "Th-that's between you and I—"

_Looks like he was._

I sigh. _This his way of getting back at me?_

It _was_ insensitive.

I shake my head and rest it on my hand. "Okay. Act like frigging adults," I start. "Go get ready for work and then we're all leaving."

"I can't go to work like this," Dojima complains, already with the blanket back over his face.

" _Yeah,_ " I yell at him. "How you like being hungover?"

He grumbles and lays back on the floor.

"Go get ready for work or I'll frigging snap." I tell them. "Don't make me come over there!"

Dojima makes a lot of angry noises, but stands up. Adachi looks like he's going to laugh until Dojima shoots him a knowing look—A look that says he _knows_ Adachi turned him in to me.

After I saw him drink that night he vented about Adachi, the two of us talked about his drinking. Actually, I talked to Dojima the next day cause I was uncomfortable about it. Then I ended up talking to Adachi separately. Adachi told me he didn't care for it, either.

I'm a little calmer, so I try to say something meaningful. "Dojima, you gotta find better ways to deal with your problems. Maybe invest in that therapy. Or AA or something."

"AA's free," Adachi adds. "But in a town like this, no one's an 'anonymous'."

I sigh, smacking the table. "And the _real_ issue ain't even that you were drinking and whatever," I start. "But what if the first one to get back was _Nanako_? This is a fucking disaster for a kid to walk in on. _Shape up._ "

Adachi's face twists up like he's sorry, and I think Dojima will be once he's back to himself. _Good. Let them feel shitty._

_I can't parent everybody in this stupid town._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/31/17


	15. Role Reversal (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru struggles to get Ryoutarou ready for work for a change of pace. Tohru shows up in town because not-feeling-well Ryoutarou doesn't give a shit. That's gonna come back to bite him... Then they go to Kanji’s and eat. Kanji continues to lecture and then drives Ryoutarou to work while Tohru finally starts on that résumé.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kanji calls them a “trash fire”, an homage to my favorite comment about dumpster fires. When you think about it, this is probably the worst train wreck of a relationship Kanji’s ever seen.
> 
> Help me out... "Role Reversal" is what, a move in Pokemon I think?
> 
> If you've noticed, I've downgraded "super whiny" to "he's gonna snap" in the description. Doujima's got real gripes. I hadn't entirely considered. He’s got a bit of a complex about how people talk shit about the two of them. But he doesn’t snap until Adachi’s next chapter... (It’s Sixteen.)
> 
> I’m a few chapters ahead. This story SHOULD run through Sunday in-story time. Right now we’re on Wednesday. I don’t know how many chapters, yet...

Chapter Thirteen: Role Reversal

(Tohru)

After Kanji's done yelling, I walk over to Ryoutarou and pull him to his feet. "C'mon, Drunky."

He grunts and stands with some effort. I sling his arm over my shoulder like I used to, and drag him up the stairs. I sit him on the stool in the bathroom.

"Don't go back to sleep," I instruct, leaving to get clothes.

When I come back, of course he's dragged the stool to the wall and is leaning against it, sleeping again. I sigh and kick his shin.

"Rise and shine, idiot."

"Nghhh!"

"You want me to get the ogre in here?" I threaten.

Ryoutarou sighs and opens his eyes. "Alright," he softly says, standing up to drag the stool back where it belongs.

I nod approvingly and turn on the shower. I wash myself and mostly just spray him down. I scrub his hair, and he's not really moving.

_Still pretty catatonic. But he's gone to work in worse shape._

I lead Ryoutarou back to the sink and point to his clothes. "C'mon. You gotta help me with this part. You can't half-ass putting on clothes."

Waking up a little, he gets into his clothes. "Thanks," Ryoutarou mumbles to me, tying and retying his tie five times before I take it away.

"What _else_ would I do?" I shrug. I knot his tie on myself, then slip it off and pass it back. "You wouldn't leave _me_ like that."

"You know where my sunglasses are?"

"Yeah," I reply. "Hang on..."

I walk down to the bedroom and retrieve what we all call Ryoutarou's "Hangover Glasses" behind his back. They're old aviators with big lenses that he'll probably wear all day— _Indoors._ I walk back and hand them over, then we head downstairs.

"So the Hangover Glasses make an appearance," Kanji quips. _Literally. Everyone._

I think Ryoutarou's glaring, but it's hard to tell through the tint. "I'm still going in late," he proclaims, walking off.

"Don't care. You got up!" Kanji yells after him. He stands and looks around. "I picked up the trash. You two want to come over? I can make more food."

I nod quickly. _I'm not in a cooking mood and I seriously doubt Ryoutarou is going to do much of anything but sleep if left to his own devices._

Kanji grabs his laptop and I pick up Ryoutarou's bag. I find him taking some pills in the bathroom and tell him we're all going.

"Adachi get your stupid bracelet," Kanji reminds me.

I look down— _I forgot it was off._

I groan and locate it, putting it on and locking it myself. When I think we're good, I grab Ryoutarou's hand and start for the door.

"Wait—" he says, grabbing the new thermos off the top of the shoe cabinet.

_He did like it!_

I have to smile to myself. "Can we stop for coffee?" I ask Kanji.

The kid snorts. "He's gonna need it."

\---***---

This is the first time I've been into town since I've been back to Inaba. It's early and I don't think Ryoutarou's in any state of mind to make good judgments, so of course he makes me walk him into the only coffee shop.

I've got a hat and sunglasses on—for the eyes—but I bet everyone will know who I am. _If I'm going to get out of house arrest or work in Kanji's store, then they'll find out soon enough. I shouldn't care._

It doesn't help that Hungover-Ryoutarou's _totally_ okay openly holding my hand. He's walking a little unsteadily and grumbling.

_The only person I've ever seen him give positive physical contact to is me... If they don't know who I am, then I'll still be the talk of the town anyhow for dragging Ryoutarou into a coffee shop looking like he was hit by a freaking truck._

_He's strangely fucking popular for someone so completely unfriendly._

When we step up to the counter, I hear the kid behind it gasp. _That was quick._

Two old women at a nearby table turn to stare at us when the kid stumbles over asking me what we want. I silently pass the thermos and Ryoutarou hands over a few coins before turning to me.

"Large green tea," I add. "And one of the cookies."

Ryoutarou fishes for more money and I pick everything up. I can hear the bastards at the tables whispering as we walk back to the car.

"Was that your first trip?" Kanji stupidly questions me.

And if I could see Ryoutarou's face, I'm willing to bet he's blanching. "It... It _was_..." He turns around in the front seat to asses how I'm feeling.

I shrug. "You weren't gonna make it on your own."

"Jackass," he mutters, before slapping my leg. "Are you alright?"

" _I'm fine._ Turn around, _Drunk_ ," I retort.

_Don't give me that shit._

Ryoutarou sighs and faces forward again. Kanji shakes his head at our exchange.

Soon we're pulling into his driveway from the back—There isn't really a front because that's where the store is. "Everybody out," he orders. "End of the line."

We file into his house and I see a sloppy banner hanging above the kitchen door. "Happy Work Tohru" is what it says.

_Teddie..._

Ryoutarou laughs like an idiot. "Have a happy work," he sweetly tells me, complete with a shit-eating grin. Then he makes his way to the living room and collapses on their couch. He doesn't even bother taking off the sunglasses or his rumpled jacket.

I hurl his bag at him and he makes a strangled noise when it strikes home. " _Fuck you!_ " I shout. " _You_ go to work!" Instead of listening, he shoves his bag to the floor and rolls over to face the wall.

"Both of you cut it out!" Kanji interjects. "I don't want this bullshit around Ted or my Ma!"

I sit down at the table, looking forward to the free food. "Can I have my omelet if I shut up?" I ask.

"He can't shut up to save his life," Ryoutarou grumbles.

I make a lip-zipping gesture and Kanji tries not to crack up. "What do you want in it?" he asks me.

I jump up and rummage through the fridge, pulling out onions and cheese. I hand them to the still-amused Kanji and he gets to work.

"I want _not_ an omelet," Ryoutarou jeers, still mad at everyone.

"You'll eat what I give you," Kanji shoots back. "You wanna feel better or not?" He's given another grumble and then Ryoutarou's quiet again.

"So what do you want me to do in the store?" I ask Kanji.

The kid curses and runs into the other room for a minute and I'm worried my food will burn. He's back quickly though, telling me he forgot to flick my receiver on. "Just fold stuff, I guess." Kanji shrugs. "I've already got more help than I need, honestly. As long as you don't fight with Ted, I'll be happy."

"I'll try," I grudgingly reply. "Depends how good your food is. And what you order for lunch."

"I cook most days," he tells me. "It's cheaper."

I nod. "Okay." He finally sets the eggs in front me and I dig in. _It's surprisingly good. The kid really can cook!_

"Don't make a face like that!" Kanji bitches. "I've always been able to cook!"

" _G'morning!!_ " we all flinch as Teddie runs in from the store whooping.

Ryoutarou moans. "Shut up."

Teddie stops short and stares at the older man. "Dojima-sannnn! What's wrong?"

I catch Kanji chuckling and I have to laugh, too.

"Nothing you need to worry about," Ryoutarou quips. "Just be quiet."

Teddie turns to us, heartbroken. He droops and tramps into the kitchen. "We were getting along so well..."

"He's sick in the head," I confide in the boy, tapping my noggin.

"Says the mentally ill—" I glare and Kanji cuts himself off, flipping a second omelet. "He's sick cause he drank too much. That's why we don't drink."

"The punk's a teetotaler!" I laugh.

Ryoutarou's talking again—"He drinks with me sometimes."

"Is there another way to connect with you?" I mutter. He's silent so I don't think he's heard me.

"Are you gonna learn how to make fabric too?" Teddie asks, sitting next to me.

I shrug. "Dunno. Whatever Kanji wants me to do," I tell him around a mouthful of egg. "Oh." I point to makeshift banner. "Thanks," I amiably try.

"You like it?!" Teddie gushes. "I have a surprise for later!"

I see Kanji smile like a proud parent as he sets the second dish on the table. Then he frowns. "Mess Number Two! Get your ass over here." Ryoutarou trudges to the table with the rest of us.

"Heh,” Kanji folds his arms. “And the Awkward Squad is complete."

"The fuck is that?" I growl.

"You two," Kanji pointedly replies. "I don't know if you'd be any better off going your separate ways, but together you're such a frigging trash fire." He shakes his head and snorts derisively.

"Goddammit, kid!" Ryoutarou smacks the table and winces. "You're really an ass today."

Teddie looks between us and beams. "I think they should stay together forever! They're so much happier when they're with each other. They're _best_ friends!!"

"We're more than that," I grumble, shoving away my dish. _Does the kid even know?_ "Do you know _what_ makes us more than that?" I grin.

Ryoutarou glowers at me, but directs his next statement to both Kanji and I. "If he doesn't know, then _nobody fucking tell him_. He's seeing Nanako."

After an uncomfortable silence with the little one glancing between the three of us, Kanji clears his throats. "Teddie, why don't you go help Ma while I square this away?" The boy nods and runs back to the store. "Dojima, you need to put food into your stomach. Then I'll drive you to work." The man in question grimaces and tries to shove down his bland eggs. "Adachi I'm just calling you Tohru. How much are you gonna yell?"

"I _really_ don't care right now," I sigh. "Just gimme your computer so I can get this done."

"Get what done?" Ryoutarou questions.

Kanji looks between us, his face asking if he should take off. I wave him away. _Ryoutarou already basically told me to seize the opportunity._

"I need a résumé for the job. I'm taking it. You can read the files when you're able to take off your sunglasses," I quip.

"Nnn. I see," is all he says.

I nudge him with my foot. "Don't worry. We can talk before I make an official decision, but I needed to borrow a computer. You don't have one, do you?"

Ryoutarou shakes his head. "You can come to the station with me, if you want."

Kanji and I shoot incredulous looks at each other. "He really think that's a good idea?" the kid asks me.

"There isn't much going on up there right now," I remark, gently poking Ryoutarou's head. He smacks my hand away.

"You can use Ryuuji's."

I keep kicking him, swinging my legs. "Just using his first name isn't gonna convince me that he'd be okay with that."

"Thought you wanted him to work here, Ojisan," Kanji interjects. "You go to your job and let him do his. Come back later—You two could use some apart time."

Ryoutarou sighs and finishes his food. "Alright. Let's go..." He collects his things while Kanji shows me how to use his laptop.

“I’ll be making deliveries after,” Kanji tells me. “So go find Ted and Ma when you’re done. The printer’s in my room, you know where it is?”

“No.”

He gives me directions before heading to pack the car. I add the obvious headers to the document. _I’ll have to think about where to start. I’ve had two jobs—This makes three. That’s not gonna fill a whole page..._

_Thirty-two is too old to add stuff from college. When did I hit thirty?_

_In prison._

I sigh lean back in my chair. _My own fault._

Ryoutarou walks back over to me, carrying his bag and thermos. “You’re a mess,” I grin at him.

“Shut up, Tohru,” he sighs. “It’s all too much sometimes.”

_I suppose drinking’s better than the way I snapped._

“At least you’ve got _me_ around to take care of you, old man,” I straighten, smirking now.

“Don’t be smug,” he tells me. “It’s not attractive.”

 _Kind of hard when I told you not to drink and now you feel ill._ I laugh to myself, and I bet he’s rolling his eyes—Knows what I’m thinking.

Ryoutarou bends down and hugs me. "Love you," he mumbles almost inaudibly.

"I'll be here, don't worry," I reply, leaning into the hug. When I look up to smile at him, he kisses me. Then he raises his thermos as he walks out the door.

And then _I_ get busy writing up something resembling a résumé.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/31/17


	16. Playing Detective (Yukiko)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yukiko gets a surprise visitor and they get along better than inside the TV. It’s Ryota and he’s looking to talk to everyone—Not an easy feat when he said he’d lay low. He and Yukiko chat, almost running into Yuudai, who’s arguing with someone Ryota gets a weird vibe from. But he’s not a person either knows...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a note on Ryota in a future chapter, but quick—I modeled him to be similar to Ryoutarou, except more together and more settled. But unsure of himself cause he’s new to the Non-TV-World. Eeh. Just check it out, I guess... (Also I wanted him to look pretty funny and out-of-place. Think those sunglasses you see cyclists wearing!!)

Chapter Fourteen: Playing Detective

(Yukiko)

My day begins easy, and I think I won't have any worries—Until Ryota shows up.

A receptionist tells me that I have a visitor, so I make my way to the front desk. Taller-Dojima is dressed casually, complete with a baseball cap and sporty sunglasses. I can tell it’s him from far enough away that I get out all the laughter before approaching.

_Jeans and a tee-shirt. Not a Dojima look! And the glasses are just too much!!_

_At least no one will recognize him._

I step up to the desk and greet him. "Hello, Ryota."

"Yukiko," he nods, shifting uneasily. The workers behind the front desk look on curiously, so I suggest we take a walk.

"What can I do for you? I didn't expect to see you again so soon," I say, leading us outside.

Ryota sighs. "I want to learn more about this world and the other shadows, but Ryou and Adachi asked me not to go into town."

"And this is technically outside of town, right?" I query, catching on.

The man nods.

"Well how can I help?" I ask.

"I want to talk to..." he trails off, shaking his head. " _Everyone_ , really. I've been seeing you all on-and-off for so long that it's almost like meeting celebrities."

I giggle at that. "Really?"

"Yes," he seriously replies. "I want to figure out why Ryou and I are different—He seems as though he’s still a bit of a mess. We started off the same, but I’m more..." He shakes his head and I try not to laugh again. “Right?” He raises his eyebrows.

I nod a few times before speaking, to kill the chuckle in my throat. "Mmm," I hum. "Kind of. You were a part of Dojima-san, but I don't believe you were ever the _same_. You seem more like how he wished he could be," I confide. " _Or_ how people wanted to see him. More on the straight-and-narrow, and able to get on with your life."

Ryota nods again, taking that in. "Thank you," he tells me. "That's already helpful... I'm here now, and I want to learn how to get along in this place. Inaba feels like my home, too."

I stop walking for a beat, thinking through how I want to phrase this. "I don't know if you could live in Inaba, but maybe one off the surrounding towns?" I suggest, picking up my pace.

"I know," the man sighs. "We look too much alike and it would raise more suspicions. It wouldn't be fair to Ryou. _But_ —" he holds up his index finger, frowning. "I don't want to be an outcast—or cast out—for something I can't help. I should get to meet everyone, too." He draws his brows together—not quite a frown—but a serious, almost sad expression decorates his features.

"So you're sneaking around during working hours?" I grin, attempting to pick up the mood. “When the others won’t know?”

"Something like that," he grumpily admits. "Aside from seeing everyone through the TV sometimes, I have so many memories of all of you. I want to know what you're really like."

"I see."

He laughs nervously. "And your inn is the most removed from the center of town, so I started here."

I nod and lead us back in through a side door, but stop short when I hear an older woman yelling at someone angrily. I stick my arm out to stop Ryota, realizing it's Dojima-sama.

His eyes go wide and he gasps. " _She's_ here?!"

I nod and grab his arm to lead us back outside.

"That bitch—" he mutters, looking like he's going to charge down the hall.

"Not at _my_ Inn!" I scold, and drag him back the way we came. Outside, he still looks upset. I drop his arm and we start back for the front. "Sorry, but the last thing I need is more bad press. Especially if anyone were to find out where you come from."

Ryota has a pained look on his face, but he nods understandingly nonetheless. We renter through the front door, and I'm asking Ryota if he'd like some tea, when we hear Dojima yelling again.

I groan and we duck into an office. Through the window, Ryota watches her and some guy argue as they stalk past. _Well, it's more like she's yelling and he's attempting to get her to reconsider something, but how else does anyone argue with a Dojima?_

"Who's that?" Ryota asks me.

"I don't know... He also got a room; came in this morning. But I don't remember his name. Want me to look it up?"

"Yes please," Ryota nods. "I'm getting a funny feeling from him."

"Mm. That computer there will have a log," I tell him, sitting down at a desk. I open the registry and sort by most recently checked-in. _It's a Wednesday, so there weren't many new guests._

"I think he's this one," I point at the screen. Ryota looks over my shoulder at the name.

He squints to see better and reads it aloud: "'Ito Hiroyuki'."

"Ring any bells?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "None. I don't believe I know him."

"Oh."

"Haah," Ryota sighs. "Can I walk past him again, if I promise not to talk to them?"

I consider it for a minute before agreeing. _I think I can trust him. Dojima is pretty trustworthy..._

"Mmn. Go ahead—Then report back to me!" I order jokingly.

"Roger that," Ryota somberly salutes and slips out of the office.

I watch through the widow as he circles the lobby suspiciously a few times before asking the man at the desk something. By the direction he's pointed in, it's safe to assume he’s asked for the restroom.

He ignores where he's been pointed and heads right back to the office. _That's not obvious..._

" _Very_ inconspicuous," I sarcastically tell him, folding my arms. "I thought you were a detective?"

"In _theory_ ," Ryota reasons. He smiles guiltily and I roll my eyes. "But something's weird about Ito. I don't like him." He grunts and nods, looking sure of himself.

"So what do we do?" I ask.

He scratches his arm and sighs, his gaze sliding away uneasily. "There isn't much _I_ can do. You should tell the others."

"Oh- _kay_?" I ask, confused. "Do you want to get to know us or not?" He raises his eyes to meet mine; conflicted. "Because that sounds like great information. It's a good excuse for everyone to give you a chance."

"Really?" he brightens.

"Mm-hmm!" I nod. "Do you have a phone?"

Ryota reaches into his pocket and produces an iPhone.

"Woah!" I gasp. "Do you even know what that is?!"

He makes a face. "Marie gave it to me."

I can't help laughing a little. "It's not a phone I'd expect Dojima to have."

Ryota sighs. "I'm _not_ Ryou.” He frowns, then wakes the cell up. “But this _is_ confusing," he murmurs.

Ryota unlocks it, his big fingers pressing a wrong part of the screen the first time. "There are no _buttons_... I only have Ryou's number—Marie told me I should get the rest myself."

"Here, let me see," I order, holding out my hand. I make the icons bigger for him and demonstrate how to add numbers. I input my own, Kanji's, and Teddie's.

"Do..." Ryota hesitates. I nod encouragingly. "Do you have stupid Adachi's number? I didn't want to sound dumb, so I told him I saved it, but I didn't know how."

I crack up. "I can totally see that!!"

Ryota's expression changes to pained.

"Sorry..." I automatically apologize— _Trained in customer-service my whole life.._

"No," he waves me off. "Just—Please hold your opinions until you get to know me. I'm different."

_Ah..._

"Okay!" I easily reply, patting him on the arm. "I'll do my best."

"Thank you," he replies, relieved. "Do you know it?"

"Ooh—Stupid Adachi's number," I remember, wrinkling my face. He waits hopefully, holding out the smartphone. "No; sorry. I'd rather _not_ have his number." Ryota nods understandingly. "But try Kanji. I bet he'd help you out."

"Thanks," Ryota smiles.

I walk back to the door and peek out. _Looks like the third Dojima's gone._

"This has raised more questions for me than you've answered, but I need to get back to work," I sigh.

"Of course," Ryota replies. He follows me to the front where I see him off.

"Come back sometime, but please let me know first," I call as he heads down the road. Ryota holds up a hand and waves as he walks away.

When he's out of sight, I immediately text Kanji, filling him in. _He'd probably like a heads-up in case Ryota heads straight there—I wouldn't put it past him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 8/5/17


	17. Spring the Trap (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryoutarou takes care of a few things, then heads home. Where he finds Ryota waiting. More of the pieces click into place as they trade details.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I wasn’t going to post today, but I got home early, and I’ve already finished Chapter Twenty. So I want to get things sped up a little. (This time the chapters have been shorter, too.)
> 
> I’ve been doing thinking—It’s gotta be hard to be a shadow with memories. Ryota has all this stuff he just feels automatically, but he didn’t actually live through. Weiiiiird. Difficult!
> 
> Another thing I wanted to mention is that no matter the story or scenarios, this ship is always based on poor decisions. It's kinda tragic, but no matter the angle, I usually end up deciding that their whole relationship is based on bad decision upon bad decision. :( And in Mukidashite it's gonna catch up with them soon.

 Chapter Fifteen: Spring the Trap

(Ryoutarou)

"Migraine...?" Sakamoto questions.

"No," I level.

"Mm-hmm." He narrows his eyes and grabs my arm; practically dragging me into his office. He closes the door and takes a seat. "What happened?"

I throw up my arms and collapse into one of the chairs facing his desk. "It was a clusterfuck. Which piece of shit idea do you want to know first?”

"Start with why Adachi's name has been removed from the list of people serving home confinement sentences."

" _Already?_ " I gasp, raising my eyebrows.

Sakamoto rolls his eyes. "By your response, you must know _something_."

"Y-yeah," I nod, shifting uncomfortably. "He was given a deal, but he hasn't accepted yet—He told me he needs to get some paperwork together before they'll even take him." I pause, rubbing my temples. " _When_ was his name taken off the list?"

"Yesterday evening."

"Hnn," I groan. "When we were driving home then, I suspect... So he's free?"

Sakamoto angrily drums his fingers. " _I suppose so._ I'll need you to return the trackers tomorrow. Has he been out and about at all?"

I must look guilty because Sakamoto smacks his desk pretty hard. "I've heard a rumor going around that you and some guy were conspicuously holding hands in the cafe this morning. And the guy was wearing something that looked a lot like the aforementioned arrest tracker."

" _Ohh fuck_ ," is all I manage, groaning. "We stopped for coffee. I was taking him to his current job—"

"No, no!" Sakamoto animatedly sighs. "That was technically _legal_. I'm more interested in whether he's going to start just popping up. I'd have liked some forewarning."

I nod. "Alright. Yes. If he can then I bet he will. Hell, _I'd_ like it if we could go back to normal."

Sakamoto sighs again and rubs a hand over his face. "Ryou—" he starts, frowning as he considers which lecture he’s going to ration.

" _Friend_ ," he pleads. "There is _no normal_ for that one. He's screwed up too much. We'll do what's within our legal powers to keep the peace, but this won't be easy. I keep telling you, but it looks like you're just going to wait and see for yourself."

"Someone here say something?!" I question, aggravated that he won't let it drop.

" _Yes_."

" _Who?_ " I demand, narrowing my gaze.

Sakamoto shakes his head. "More than one. As your boss I'm not telling you who said what." He gives me a sad look. "As your friend, I'm warning you to watch your back."

"Alright. Thank you, Ryuuji." I fold my hands and can’t help a wry smile. "Tell Sakamoto he’s an asshole and needs to tell them to shut their traps."

"Noted. Anything else you wanna fill me in on?"

"She's here," I tell him, sighing.

Sakamoto looks up sharply. " _Who's_ here?" he heavily exhales.

"Miss Naichou herself."

" _Great_."

" _Super_ , right?"

We're silent for a minute, both trying not to scream.

"If she screws my station," Sakamoto leans forward to warn me. "I will demote you to under Yamamura. We clear?"

"Yes, _Chief_."

"Good," he replies. "You're still on the clock, but go fix this. Get me the trackers and figure out what the hell is going on with Adachi and Naichou. It's sort of police business and there isn't anything else going on," he snorts.

I stand and he tells me to give the rest of my half-finished files to Yamamura. "He needs something to do—I don't like this," Sakamoto confides when I reach the door. "Crime's down, but something isn't right."

"What're you thinking?" I nervously ask.

"I'm thinking we get any government the hell out of here before the shit hits the fan." Sakamoto folds his hands and shakes his head. "Then we try to clean it up ourselves.

"Agreed."

"Ryou." Sakamoto looks me in the eye. "My career won't survive another 'Adachi'. You know what I mean?"

"Yes," I reply. "I'll see what I can figure out."

"This stays between us."

"Always." I wave behind myself as I step into the hall.

I make the short walk to my shared office and find Yamamura at his desk. I lean against the door and sigh.

The kid jumps. "Good morning, Dojima-san!" he practically yells.

"At ease," I snort. I walk over to him and empty my files on his desk. "These are done," I gesture. "The rest only need a few details added."

"Yes," he nods. "Sakamoto-sama asked me to take care of it. You're going on a new case?"

I chuckle. "Something like that. 'The case of why the moron goes free.'" I laugh despite the fact that this is probably a bad sign.

Yamamura gives me a confused look. "What're you talking about?" he questions.

I breathe heavily. "We're going to trust each other?" I ask him. "You've already forced yourself into the loop."

He nods quickly when I glare; clearly not giving it any thought and just looking to make me happy. I sigh. "You already know about Tohru. Well, he's been officially released."

Yamamura looks shocked. I sip my coffee slowly; watching him carefully and wondering if there's any chance he's connected.

"Anyone from Naichou contact you?" I interrogate.

"No, sir. Why would they?" he responds seriously, shaking his head.

"Just a gut feeling," I cautiously reply. "If they do, please let Sakamoto or I know."

He nods again. I dump everything else I don't need at my desk, and notice that Yamamura's still watching me.

"Got something on your mind?" I scathingly quip.

"Is the guy from the coffee shop Adachi?" he haltingly asks.

"Is that any of your damn business?" I shoot back.

Yamamura quickly shakes his head. "N-no! Of course not—Sorry."

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "Yes," I tell him. "That was Tohru. I was feeling... _Sick_. So I asked him to come in with me."

"Oh," Yamamura replies. "A bunch of the guys were asking me if I knew who he was.” He shrugs, looking away. “I said I didn't."

I raise my eyebrows. _Hope he's telling the truth._

"Thank you," I try.

I'm surprised when Yamamura smiles, looking happy at my small gratitude. "Yeah! No problem. I hope we can get along better..."

"Me, too," I agree, gathering anything that could be useful. "Alright. I have to go. Let me know if you need anything for those reports."

Yamamura nods, looking a little less stressed. "Bye," he says as I walk out the door.

I decide to make the worst leg of the trip first, and walk head straight home. _The trip might wake me up more—Need to be sharp right now._

_I can grab the tracker and equipment, and stuff it all in the car. Then I'll grab Tohru and we'll hammer out the details for the ‘job’. If they'll really let him go like that, he'd better do it._

_We’re going to have to pore over that folder until our eyes bleed..._

Sipping my coffee, I run through all the things we should watch out for— _Built-in traps in the contract. Needing to give names of other persona-users. People I don't want to see. That kind of shit._

When I'm on my street, I notice a man sitting on my doorstep. _Not Tohru or Kanji._

I slow my pace, until he waves to me.

_Great._

_It's Ryota._

I try that thing where we spoke in our heads, but nothing happens. I give it another shot, but no dice.

“That won’t work out here,” Ryota laughs as I draw closer. “It has to do with navigation—Marie told me.”

I sigh and hold up my hand instead. "Why're you here?" I question.

"I left you two voicemail," he tells me, folding his arms. "It's _important_."

"Oh yeah?" I narrow my eyes and push past him to unlock the door. "What is it then?"

"I did some fieldwork," he starts, frowning defensively.

I nod for him to go on and let him inside. But when he steps through the door, it's as though Ryota has completely forgotten he was mid-sentence. He just runs around, looking at everything like he's checking to make sure it's real.

I loudly clear my throat and he returns to the entranceway, kicking off his sneakers and sliding into my sandals out of habit. I sigh when he realizes and steps back out.

"Go ahead," I tell him, pinching the bridge of my nose. _How can I say no when he's got the same memories of this house?_

I enter in just my socks while Ryota looks like a kid at an amusement park. When he starts to open cabinets, I push him aside and start the coffee myself.

"What did you need to tell me?" I ask.

"Your mother's aide is suspicious. He reminds me of Teddie and myself— _And_ Adachi." He chooses Chisato's mug from the shelf and I let him. "Whose...?" he pauses, pointing at the addition.

I let a small smile escape me. "Teddie. He and Nanako like each other—A lot. I can tell."

Ryota nods knowingly. "I see. I figured as much. They're..." He pauses to examine the new, pale blue mug more closely. "They're cute."

"Mm," I agree.

"The aide—" he rushes to continue, coughing like I do when I'm embarrassed. "I'm nearly positive it's a man named Ito Hiroyuki—"

I hold up my hand, taking an unconscious step towards him. "Wait. _What?!_ "

The coffeemaker beeps and Ryota pours it for us, passing me my own mug. "Yes," he affirms. "Do you know ho he is?"

"Sort of—But that's _odd_."

Ryota raises an eyebrow. "Why?"

"That's the name of Tohru's parole officer..."

"Really?" Ryota frowns. "But—"

I shake my head— _It's all starting to come together._

"This was _planned_ ," I tell Ryota. "He never had a choice about taking the job."

"Doesn't look like it."

We sip our coffee quietly; processing. "He was cleared last night. While we were on our way back."

"They knew he'd comply," Ryota agrees.

"She made some comment about liking Tohru better, and I remember thinking to myself that was the moment I knew he'd take it. Apparently Naichou agreed enough to prematurely clear his name."

"Of course _she'd_ like him better," Ryota fumes.

I grin guiltily.

"Figures," He spits, playing with his mug.

"So next..." I sigh, trying to move this along.

I let Ryota take our empty mugs and wash them. "Well you clearly have to see what happens if he turns it down."

" _Clearly_."

Ryota turns away from the sink and wipes his hands on his tee-shirt. "Always call the bluff."

"Took the words right out of my mouth." I text Sakamoto, vaguely thanking him. _He'll know._

Then I pack up the tracker and grab Tohru a snack. I look over at Ryota, who's studying the numerous photographs that now sit on the mantle. That year that Yuu was here, we brought back the family shot from Samegawa, and added one with him.

Since then, I've added one of myself and Tohru from before. We're sitting the on the couch, looking unusually happy. I've got my arm around Tohru and I'm grinning smugly at him while he's yelling and pointing for me to pay attention to the camera.

Nanako framed a nice shot of us with Kanji and Teddie from a festival, maybe two years ago. We're all in yukata and jinbei. She's holding a water balloon and Teddie has an armful of snacks. Kanji and I are mugging jokingly, with our arms folded in contrast to the happy kids.

Then there are a few she finds funny: such as Kanji and I working out, Teddie mimicking a dog, and her and Tohru drawing on the patio with chalk. _I used to hate having memories like these around, but the more people that come into our lives, the more I realize that the memories are important. They can be happy, even if the people in them aren't with you._

Ryota catches my staring and rubs the back of his neck, sighing. “They’re nice.”

“Mm,” I nod. “I’m glad we added so many. It was time to move on.”

“Hnn,” Ryota sighs. “I’ve probably got to move on, too. It’s hard—I have all these memories of everyone and all that happened. I’m stuck with your stunted emotions from when you were thrown into the TV all those years ago.”

He quietly walks over to the window and stares at the backyard. “But they’re not mine. I need to figure out how to live my own life. It—It’s just _difficult_ because I have all these _feelings_ about everything that I shouldn’t—”

“No,” I shake my head. “It isn’t that you _shouldn’t_ , but that you should decide for yourself.”

“I agree.”

I smile sadly at him and he returns the gesture, almost like a funhouse mirror. “Come on. We need to tell Tohru what’s going on.”

Ryota’s eyes widen in surprise. “I can come?”

“Yeah,” I tell him. “You really helped me out—Made it easier to connect the pieces. Just don’t fight with him.”

“Nnn—He makes it so hard _not_ to fight with him!”

“I know,” I laugh, ushering my double into the garage.


	18. Repercussions (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru tries to get along with the Tatsumi clan. He gets pissed. Then Ryoutarou and Ryota come over to go over the documents and Tohru gets pissed again, because Ryota tells him to stay the hell away. Then he gets outvoted on the plan. Which also pisses him off. Pissing Tohru Off Day!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like how Ryota grates on Tohru!! So far, at least.
> 
> Quick rant: I realized I’ve now gone entirely to writing “Doujima” with “ou” when not in-chapter. The way the Persona translators change names when they come over bugs me SO MUCH. I can’t stand the way that some stay the same and others are so different. Tohru is really “Tooru”. But I felt like there were only so many changes readers would tolerate, so I only pitched a fit with the spelling of “Ryoutarou”. The pronunciation of his whole name is different when you can see where the emphasis goes.
> 
> Just... It feels as though they didn’t follow any sort of rules with the translations. “Kou” stayed the same. “Yuu” became “Yu”... And “Morooka” (which actually stayed the same) was pronounced “Moruuka” in English, which KILLED ME. Lastly, “Taro” Namatame is also “Tarou”—And a LOT of guys have “rou” in their names in here (Morooka is “KinshiROU” too)! Is it a local thing? Lol.

Chapter Sixteen: Repercussions

(Tohru)

When I'm done writing, Teddie catches me peeking cautiously into the back room of the store. He waves excitedly while I knit my eyebrows together.

"Come over here!" he calls to me. "I'll show you how to wind the yarn~"

" _Spin_ ," I hear Tatsumi correct from the main store.

_And I have to admit, she makes me nervous. She seems very serious and she knows exactly who I am._

"M-maybe I should just—" I start, but am cut off by Tatsumi entering through the curtain.

She narrows her eyes at me. "Kanji told me you're to work. Are you a freeloader?"

"N-n-no!!" I protest, stepping into the room. Teddie beams while he aggressively cranks a handle that's making the strand of yarn "spin" together.

"I didn't think Dojima-kun _tolerated_ freeloaders," she smirks.

I jolt, forgetting she insulted me and instead reacting to the more interesting part of that sentence. "I have _never_ heard someone call him ‘kun’ before!"

"Well you never took the time to get to know _me_ ," she replies folding her arms—As if she can read my mind. _Also disconcerting._

Tatsumi waves me over. "Come here, boy, and watch what he's doing. It's very simple."

"But I'm really good~" Teddie proclaims. "Right, Kaasan?" He looks up at _Kanji's_ mom so adoringly I want to puke.

_If he's this needy all day I'll snap him in half. That is not an okay way to act—_

_Especially now that everyone knows he's me. He’s too fucking eager-to-please._

"Stop it with that constipated look," Tatsumi barks.

I glance up, surprised. She's staring at where my hand is unconsciously yanking at my hair. I forcibly replace it at my side.

Teddie is flicking his gaze between us, looking worried. "C'mon, Tohru!" he whines at me. "Kaasan is great~ Let her teach you, too!"

I sigh and walk forward. Tatsumi nods approvingly while Teddie explains what he's doing with all the fibers.

When the bell chimes, signaling a customer, Teddie immediately leaves his work and dashes out front to greet them. Tatsumi motions for me to sit at the table with her.

“It’s okay to spend a _little_ time getting to know each other first,” she tells me, smiling slightly.

I bob my head and take a seat.

"Kanji asked me to keep an open mind," she lets me know.

"Ryoutarou asked the same of _me_ ," I retort.

"I've never heard anyone call him _that_ ," Tatsumi challenges.

I can’t help smirking. "Only _me_ ," I boast. “I like that.”

_Don’t start admitting stupid stuff..._

She nods and we're silent for a beat while she pours us tea.

_You don’t know this person._

"I like tea," I tell her, giving this a shot nonetheless.

"Not _coffee_?" the woman scoffs, grinning.

I shake my head. "Don't really care for it."

"I see. Does Dojima-kun know?" she questions with mock-seriousness.

I snicker. "He can't stand that." I sip the tea— _It's good._

"You know," I start, glancing where Teddie disappeared a minute ago. "What you two did for him is great. He couldn't go to school, but you taught him a craft. That's something worth more than a normal education~"

"Don't butter me up," Tatsumi reprimands, in contrast to the way she smiles.

I roll my eyes. "I mean it."

"I know," she nods. "I had to do something. He's lagging with his writing, though."

"That's not a surprise," I reveal. "Do you know where..."

"They told me some things about he and you."

_Figured. Then she already knows enough about me._

I sigh. "I lagged— _A lot._ I've always had to work twice as hard just to be _equal_ to the others." I feel myself frowning deeply, so I try to calm down.

I take a minute before deciding to continue. I feel my eyes dart around— _I hate talking about this._

“It took a lot of doing, but I caught up and surpassed everyone else. Until I started working—Then being slow to pick things up became a much bigger burden. After I screwed up and came here, I mostly gave up.”

_The only thing I’ve learned is how to work people—Which I can’t do if I’m trying to be honest._

_And better._

I laugh sourly, until I see that Tatsumi is staring at me as if she can read all of my wounds. I look down and grit my teeth.

_I told the bitch one thing about me—Shouldn’t act like that gives her a license to—_

“That sounds hard to bear,” Tatsumi interrupts my thoughts.

My head snaps back up and I don’t like the way she’s smiling sadly. I feel my gaze sharpening and I grip my shorts. “Y-you _don’t_ —” my voice shakes.

“ _What?_ ” she challenges, her tone hard. “I don't know you very well, but my own boy has learning disabilities. _I can understand what it’s like to struggle._ ”

I keep my mouth shut.

_It’s obvious Kanji has trouble with words—Any idiot can see he gets them wrong all the time. All he reads are magazines and light novels—_

_He’s trying. He’s working to keep up, too—_

I know I’ve got a nasty look on my face—

But I don’t have time to ponder how the punk feels when I make fun of him, because then the store's backdoor opens and Ryoutarou walks in with Ryota behind him, the latter looking around uncomfortably.

"My, he's taller than Kanji!" Tatsumi eyes the newcomer and clicks her tongue.

"Wait till you see who he really is," I mutter, resting my chin on my hand.

Ryoutarou nods to him and Ryota removes his hat and glasses. Tatsumi doesn't speak this time, only gawks at the funny-looking version of Ryoutarou.

"Well I didn't see that coming," she finally manages.

Teddie runs back into the room and stares up at Ryota, surprise flying across his face. "You're Ryota!" he remarks, stating the obvious.

"Yes, I am." The man nods. "Teddie?" he tentatively asks.

"Yup~" the boy smiles. "It's nice to meet you!" He runs over to hug Ryota, but Tatsumi quickly grabs his shirt.

"We bow," she instructs him. Teddie makes an agreeable noise before bowing to the giant.

I snort when Ryota nervously bows back. "Clean-shaven _and_ polite. If I can order you around, I might pick you instead."

Ryota scowls at me while Ryoutarou rolls his eyes. "Oi," he waves over to me. "We need to talk to you."

"Yeah, yeah," I sigh. "I'll show you the stuff."

His eyes go down to my bare feet. "What?" I frown.

"No—That's—" Ryoutarou shakes his head, thinking. "You can take the bracelet off. Something's happened and you're free."

" _I'm what now?_ " I hurriedly question. "Are you _joking_?" I teleport maybe a foot and the thing clatters to the floor.

"Ooh~" Teddie says, picking it up for inspection.

Tatsumi sighs. "Why don't you three go in the house. Teddie, we have work to finish."

"Okay!" he agrees, placing the thing on the table.

I stare at it. "It's really over?" I ask— _Extremely_ suspicious.

"Not likely," Ryota replies.

"And why's he here?" I complain, glaring back.

"He might've saved your ass," Ryoutarou tells me. "Come on. We need to look at those papers— _Very carefully_."

I follow the other two into the house and we sit back at the kitchen table. I show them the packet and my attempt at a résumé. Ryoutarou takes out his reading glasses and hangs the sunglasses on his shirt pocket, sighing.

Then he dumps out the folder. He makes two even piles and hands half of the packets to Ryota. He holds out two differently colored pens and Ryota picks one. They start to mark up the papers.

"Getting serious, are we?" I joke.

Ryoutarou shoots me a weary look and shakes his head. "This is _important_ ," he stresses. "You want to accidentally make a bad deal?"

I sigh as I walk behind Ryoutarou. I lean on him and peer over his shoulder to see what he's concerned about.

He’s already littered the first page with notes like "who", "locations needed", and "wording". There are a few areas with small question marks. I move behind Ryota next, who jumps when I lean on him to get a better look. He pushes me away hard and I feel a spike of irritation.

When I wind up to punch him in the back of the head, I get a look from Ryoutarou. "Don't," he commands. "He's helping. Give him space."

"You can look at what I'm working on, but _don't_ touch me," Ryota addends, not so much as glancing up.

I grumble, but do slide a chair over. His notes consist of the same words and expressions, but for different parts. They _are_ handling different portions...

When the two finish their halves, they wordlessly trade and read over what the other has marked. They write some more, then pass everything over again for one final inspection.

"Alright," Ryoutarou concludes. "Did anything about this contract bother you?" He holds up the document, covered in both red and blue marks.

"I'm guessing 'no' would be the wrong answer," I reply, sliding the chair closer to him.

" _Hnn_." He pages through and points out a few clauses. "You can't slip about anything. You aren't being given immunity for explaining how the TV World works. That's a _big_ red flag."

"So anything you reveal that sheds light on what happened six years ago could land you back in court—If enough changes, legally, you could even be retried for murder," Ryota expounds. "You'd be giving them evidence to out you away again."

"Is there a way around that?" I ask.

Ryoutarou nods, flipping through more pages. "That's what we would have to see—What negotiations are for." He sighs and sets down the contract. "You really want to do this?"

"It's a lot of money," I say.

Ryoutarou scratches his arm and glances at Ryota. "Pay attention to _me_!" I snap. "Don't confer with him when I'm _right here_ , damn it! This doesn't even concern him!"

Ryoutarou sighs. "In truth, we think it's a test—The contract. To see what they can pull over on you." He looks at Ryota again and I frown.

"What _aren't_ you telling me?"

"We also think they never calculated that you might refuse—That nothing would be more important to you than an end to your incarceration." Ryoutarou shifts in his seat and smacks the table. "Does _everyone_ think I'm an imbecile?"

 _That's out of leftfield._ "What the hell are you talking about?" I snap.

"Everyone acts like you think _nothing_ of me." Ryoutarou yanks off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. "That all you want is to get the hell out of Inaba—"

" _Ohh my god you're being so melodramatic!_ " I complain. "They're _idiots_! People are _stupid_!!"

Ryota mutters something and I yell at him to speak the hell up. "You two are ridiculous. Like a daytime soap opera...”

"Oh fuck you!" I flip him off and slide even closer to Ryoutarou. "Is this why you keep getting so paranoid about me?"

He glances away.

"Hey idiot!!" I yell in his ear and he whips around, pissed now. I groan. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What do you— _How do you not_ _know_?" he retorts. "It's all everyone's been saying for years. You were my partner and you were _the_ _murderer_!"

I frown—I'd never realized it bothered him so much. "I thought it bothered you _more_ that I was yo—"

Ryoutarou makes an aggravated noise to cut me off. "That makes it _worse,_ dumbass!" he tells me. "It's bad enough that we worked so closely together. Add on that we were screwing around and I lose _all_ credibility!"

_Add on that you were in love with me and you're completely sunk, huh?_

“Maybe—It, uh, started when I was in prison?” I try.

He gives off a choked laugh like he can’t believe how stupid I am. “That wouldn’t make it better.”

I start getting squirmy, too. "I never had to deal with it."

" _No_ ," he grunts. "You weren't _here_.” He flaps his hand around, squeezing his eyes shut. “With all the same people. Who were _judging_ _me_ —And _you_. And I had to _sit there and take it_ —" He stops speaking to put his head in his hands, looking like he's about to get way more emotional than he's comfortable with.

He does. And I’m speechless for a minute or so while Ryota looks away awkwardly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I finally muster.

He pounds the table. “I didn’t want you to worry when you couldn’t do anything about it.”

"And it's started again?" I ask.

Ryoutarou nods slowly. "Sakamoto won't tell me who's saying what so I don't clean their clocks."

"Wise," I quip, placing my hand on his shoulder. _I should've known._ "Because of this morning?" I ask more gently.

“Most recently.” Nodding again, Ryoutarou moans. "It's been breaking down my confidence in us and that's wrong of me."

"It's human," I gently tell him.

When he gets ahold of himself, Ryoutarou drags his hands down his face and sighs. "It shouldn't make me lose it like this, but it's been coming from all sides. Apart from myself and Nanako, you're a complete jackass to everyone else who gives you a chance."

I drum my fingers on the table and look away.

"Cut it out," Ryoutarou orders, lightly slapping my face till I turn back to him. "I mean it. Kanji's been giving you a lot of opportunities to be nice. _Take_ one of them. Keep acting right towards Teddie."

I grumble, but agree.

"Good." Ryoutarou bonks our heads together and tries to at least wipe the unfriendly expression off his face.

"You didn't even tell him the _other_ problem—" Ryota impatiently interrupts.

“Huh?” I intone. “Other what now?”

Ryoutarou sighs. “Your ‘parole officer’ is Naichou. This has been in the works longer than we thought. They were just waiting to pull you in.”

I shift in my seat again. _Don’t like that._

“How far does it go?” I question. The other two look at each other and exchange another glance. “You don’t know, is that it?”

I scratch my head, waiting for someone else to speak. Neither does, and all we hear is Teddie laughing in the distance.

“Okay,” I sigh. “Do you have a plan?” I direct my question at Ryoutarou.

“Sort of,” he replies. “We go on the offense and call their bluff.”

“That shit again?” I groan. “You see how well it worked out _last_ time!”

“It’s a good plan,” Ryota chimes in—Of _course_ agreeing with the one he shares a freaking brain with.

“You’re outvoted,” Ryoutarou tells me— _Smug bastard—_

_Wait._

I feel my mouth drop open— _No. Fucking. Way_.

"He does _not_ get a vote!"

Both roll their eyes.

_I'm in hell..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 8/7/17


	19. Unnecessary Introductions (Nanako)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanako keeps getting texts from Teddie at school—But this latest one is different! Maybe someone she doesn’t know yet...? Then Kanji is still huffy and slips some things out, trying to cover it up. Nanako questions him on the Tokyo trip, but doesn’t wanna get in the middle of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd never really considered how hard it must be for Nanako to be the youngest.
> 
> I’m really hitting my stride again. I finished Chapter Twenty-One earlier, and will start the following chapter tonight. I’ll double-post tomorrow, too~
> 
> I did notice that there are a lot of chapters, but not as many words per chapter. Watakushi had the shadow fights, which were ~8,000 each, so I think that’s a big part of what shot up the count but not the number of chapters. Aside from maybe two partial-chapters here, the rest is more like the flow of Oretachi. About 1,000~4,000 per chapter.

Chapter Seventeen: Unnecessary Introductions

(Nanako)

I check my phone between classes—I felt a text vibrate earlier.

 _Of course it's Teddie. He's been practically liveblogging his days to me lately..._ I get so many pictures of the things he makes and everyone working. It's cute, but also makes me a little sad.

_I know he's trying to keep me in the loop, but I'm the only one who has to spend their days in school. I wish I could be with the others._

_And it's only getting worse._

Tohru will get to spend his time in the shop, too. _I feel as though I'm being left behind._

I don't know what I want to do when I grow older. _I'll have to make a decision someday, while the others have it all figured out._

The latest picture is different form the rest. I don't think it's someone I know, but I can't tell. It's blurry and all I can see the person's socked feet, jeans, and the bottom of a tee-shirt.

I have to laugh, but try not to make it loud. I don't want to get caught with my phone out.

 _'Did Kanji get new socks'_ I type back.

_He's my only guess._

My last class is boring. I've already finished the English reading for the semester, but I have to pay attention in case I'm called on. I feel my phone buzz again, but don't bother checking it until I'm on my way out.

_'Hes Ryota1! :D'_

I hear myself suck in a sharp breath as I reopen the photo. _I wonder if he's still over there?_

I dash to the tree and Teddie waves excitedly with both arms. "Let's go!" I tell him, hurrying by.

Teddie easily catches up and starts telling me about their brief interaction. "I couldn't get a better picture because they had work to do. I only thought to take one when he was walking away... They were all there when I left though!"

I stop short. "Tohru-jisan was still there?"

"Yeah!" he tells me smiling. "I asked him to stay so we could all have the special edition Topsicles together~"

_I haven't seen him since I read what he wrote—_

I consciously slow my pace.

"What's wrong?" Teddie asks, taking my hand.

I smile guiltily. "I was just thinking that we haven't spoken since I read what he wrote to me. I want to talk about it..."

"But you don't know what you want to say?" Teddie finishes when I trail off.

"Mm-hmm," I nod.

Teddie drags me along a little faster again. "Just talk to him like always!" he grins. "You'll bring it up when you can."

"That's a good idea," I quietly reply.

When we arrive at the shop, Teddie bursts through the door yelling "ted-aima". He kicks off his shoes and jumps from foot-to-foot while I untie my own.

"Are they still here, Kaasan?" he asks his mom.

"Yes, and Kanji's back as well."

He grabs my hand again and pulls me through the store and into the house. When we enter the kitchen, I see them all around the table.

"We're here~" Teddie interrupts.

The four turn to look at us, and I sweep my eyes across all the faces, stopping to rest on the man studying me—Obviously Ryota, by his hair and eyes.

"H-hi," I try; suddenly feeling shy.

"It's nice to meet you," the man replies, scratching his face. His eyes shift to Dad and then Tohru. Dad nods to him and Tohru huffs, leaning on his hands and glaring at Ryota.

"Topsicles!!" Teddie breaks in. "Let's eat!!" He rushes over to the freezer to get rid of the awkward silence, and passes out different flavors to everyone.

Tohru waves me over, a mean glint in his eyes. " _Creepy_ , right?" he loudly asks me.

I roll my eyes and smile at Ryota. "No," I shake my head and extend my hand. "It's nice to meet you, too," I finally reply.

Ryota tries to smile while Tohru folds his arms, obviously unhappy with the present company. _I wonder if they've been fighting the whole time?_

I look back to Tohru, and he'll know I'm trying to calm him down, but it's the thought that matters. "Let's work on math again later, Tohru-jisan."

"Yeah. Okay," he says, looking a little less peeved.

"What's going on?" I ask Dad, wondering at the papers he's been going over again and again.

He glances at Tohru, who shrugs as he trades his empty wrapper for Dad's melting Topsicle. "I got some sort of get-out-of-jail-free deal, but it's fishy."

"Tohru can have more!" Teddie calls. "They're for his first day of work!"

"How many can I have?" Tohru queries, immediately losing interest in whatever Dad's looking at.

Dad sighs and throws Tohru's first wrapper at him. "Finish your thought," he sighs.

Tohru waits until he sucks down the second snack before continuing. "Look!" he extends his leg so I can see the bracelet is off again.

"So?" I ask. _This isn't news._

"I've been removed from the system!" he grins, biting down on his ice cream.

— _That's_ news!

"Really?"

"Yup~" he says, still smiling. "Let's go out to eat later!"

Dad groans and smacks the table. "Moron! We need to take care of this before you celebrate..."

"Why?" I question.

"Haaah," Dad sighs, running a hand through his hair. "He said it's 'fishy', yeah? Something isn't sitting right. Sakamoto agrees. Ryota agrees." Ryota nods for emphasis, and Tohru groans.

Teddie passes him another Topsicle and he lights up again, though. He starts to open it and Dad smacks the table, annoyed.

"Tohru that's enough," he scolds. "We should get a move on."

Tohru groans and Teddie tells him that he can have more tomorrow. "Thanks," Tohru tells Teddie, his eyes sliding down as though he's embarrassed. Teddie beams, not noticing at all.

"We need to drop by the station while Sakamoto's still in, and we can drop you wherever you need." Dad nods to Ryota, who returns the gesture. Then he turns to me. "Are you coming home for dinner?"

I shrug while Teddie's eyes light up. "We will!" he happily answers for me, his grin showing off his sugary, blue teeth from his frozen treat.

Dad rolls his eyes. "Alright. We'll cook." With that, he motions to Tohru and Ryota and they follow him out the door.

"Ojisan's got a real entourage, now," Kanji quips after they're gone. "At least he's getting things done..."

"What do you mean?" I pointedly ask him.

" _Guh_ —" Kanji slaps his leg. "Shit. Sorry, nothing."

Teddie looks between the two of us, and points his Topsicle stick at Kanji. "Awkward Squad, am I right?"

"What happened?" I frown.

Kanji sighs and nervously bangs on the table a few times. "He was acting off earlier."

"Why?" I sharply question. "What's been going on lately? You're all acting weird—Did they really go to Tokyo?"

"Uhh..."

"Kanji!" I say louder. "What's going on?"

Kanji folds his arms and glares at the wall. "There might be some trouble with the government. Tohru got offered a deal if he helps them with persona stuff. A-and I think it's just the stress getting to Ojisan... Yeah."

"From the government?" I repeat. "Or from town?"

"Both?" Kanji asks me.

Teddie turns around form washing his hands in the sink. "He was..." Teddie bites his lip and chews on it. "I think he was crying earlier..."

I feel my face pull tight. "Really?"

Teddie nods. "He told Tohru some guys at work are being mean. I could hear them talking..."

"Okay," I exhale. "Thanks for letting me know."

My friend nods while Kanji turns away guiltily. _There's more—But I don't want to push him. I don’t want get in the middle of Kanji's relationship with Dad._

I frown, but let it go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edited 7/8/17


	20. Space (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three go to the police station and see Sakamoto. Ryoutarou ends up snapping and upsetting Tohru. Ryota is actually nice and talks it out with him. Then Ryoutarou gets jelly of the way Ryota interacts similarly to himself. (I mean we kinda knew this was going to happen the second Ryota gave Tohru a chance.) Then Ryota walks home and the men go to Junes (after arguing on the way there). And Ryoutarou’s realizing that things are indeed different.
> 
> I have seen a load of fics that are/end cute with Ryoutarou taking Tohru in after he's released from prison. But we all know it would never be that easy... Realistically, if less than ten-fifteen years have passed I can see the town shunning him or worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I used that info on volunteers. Obvs Doujima is Adachi’s volunteer. Although that feels like bending the rules, but no one knew they were together, soooo... Doujima’s always seemed fine with bending the rules, as long as he’s not overtly breaking them. Seems as though he’s the type to throw his weight around to get his way, too.
> 
> I want to post one more today again... I can’t justify posting more than two in a day, but I AM up to Twenty-Two and have a few bits written even further out.

 

Chapter Eighteen: Space

(Ryoutarou)

I enter through the back door to the station, flanked by Tohru and Ryota. The former didn't want to wait in the car, while the latter has in interest in meeting Sakamoto. I made Tohru put on Kanji's sunglasses and hat like earlier.

_Those damn eyes..._

"Don't speak," I groan. "You both look like criminals from an old cartoon with the hats and glasses.”

"I'd be _more_ than happy to remove mine~" Tohru jeers.

"You'll wait until the official notice arrives," I reply, turning to jab him in the side. Tohru grunts and slaps my hand away. "Try to be a good sport."

Sakamoto's door is thankfully open, so I usher the other two in before me. " _What—?_ " I hear my coworker complain. "Dojima..." he growls when I enter.

I shut the door and point the other two to the chairs. "I have someone who wants to meet you," I sigh, dropping the tracker cases on his desk.

Ryota steps forward to proffer his hand and introduce himself, when I shake my head. "No names."

"Well that's odd," Sakamoto retorts, pumping out a handshake. He grimaces and stares back at his hand.

"He's not from around here," I tell Sakamoto, waving my hand around dismissively. "Don't ask questions. I owe him a favor, so I said he could meet you."

"I see," Sakamoto replies, taking a seat. "And I have news for you, too. Adachi's paperwork came through. He's free." My friend throws up his hands at the absurdity.

_It was supposed to be another five years and he’s out within two weeks._

At that, Tohru rips off his hat and sunglasses, throwing them dramatically to the floor. He then stomps on the glasses, a gleeful expression playing across his face.

"Ugh, _dammit_!" I yell. "Those were Kanji's!!"

"I know," he says, not a bit remorseful. He gives them one last crunch for good measure.

I groan and scratch my head, a poor substitute for thumping him. Sakamoto seems very amused, and folds his arms while he tries not to laugh.

Tohru takes that as his cue to further act up, and kicks his feet up on his old boss's desk.

"That's enough of that," Sakamoto retorts, poking his sneakers with a pen. "And pick up your trash."

Tohru makes a throaty noise, but complies, picking up the shards of plastic and tossing them in the trash. He tries to put the hat on my head, proclaiming that Ryota and I will look like twins. I knock him away and breathe deeply a few times, vowing not to snap.

"You try counting to ten?" Sakamoto mockingly questions me.

"Mmn," I nod, rubbing my temples.

"Well, sign off on this as his volunteer, and he'll only have the therapist and parole officer to contend with—Until they've deemed him safe and healthy."

" _I'm healthy,_ " Tohru glowers.

Sakamoto snorts. "Yeah kid, and I'm the next emperor. I'll need your signature, too..."

Tohru and I crowd around to sign off on his release. He turns around to give me one of his old, cute, goofy grins when I stand back up. I have to grin myself; I've always found that expression infectious.

"Alright. Get outta here!" Sakamoto sighs, watching our exchange. "Before anyone realizes he's in the station."

I nod and start for the door. Tohru catches up and grabs my hand, still looking happy.

As I begin to open it, Sakamoto gives Ryota one more look. "Who _are_ you...?"

I slam it shut again, whipping around. "Do you want to get involved in supernatural bullshit?" I ask, advancing. Tohru yanks me to a stop and I grunt.

"But it's almost like..."

Ryota makes his own decision, tipping his cap back a little and pulling down his shades. "Anything else, _Ryuuji_?" he says.

Sakamoto drops his pen—Too stunned to speak.

" _Trust_ me," I reiterate. "He was never here." I turn to Ryota and order him out the door first this time, with Tohru second and myself picking up the rear. _Hopefully no one stops me..._

_Annnnnd Yamamura is calling out my name from behind us._

"What?" I groan, turning around. "I'm busy right now."

"I was wondering if you'd have a minute to talk me through the break-in from the south sector last week, Sir."

_Now?_

I pass my keys to Tohru. "You two wait in the car," I bark.

Tohru shunts the keys right to Ryota. "He can wait in the car. I'm now a free man~" he quips draping an arm over my shoulders.

" _Oh—_ Ah—" Yamamura stutters. "H-hi, Adachi."

"Hello, _Rookie_ ," he grins.

" _Tohru—_ " I snap smacking my forehead. "I'm working— _Get out of here!_ "

He jumps away from me and I immediately feel bad. I watch his face cycle through outrage and then hurt, as he stalks past Ryota and slams the back door hard. Ryota shrugs and leaves, too.

"You were saying?" I motion to the file my kouhai is carrying and he asks a few questions while I bring him up to speed.

By the time I exit, I can see that Tohru is fuming and Ryota isn't helping things. I catch the tail end of what I believe is a lecture.

"—rass him while he's working, kid!" Ryota commands, leaning into the front seat.

The morons haven't rolled up the windows, so I can hear their whole conversation. I decide to hang back while I smoke. _I don't feel great about it, but maybe Tohru will get it out of his system by yelling back at Ryota._

_He shouldn't be telling Tohru what to do, anyhow._

I light up and lean against the wall, behind the smoking shelter. I take my time, knowing it could be a few minutes.

"I hate that Yamamura!" Tohru sulks, kicking the dash. "He has my job! He has my desk! _He tried to use my mug!!_ "

" _Adachi_ ," Ryota pleads. "Don't be an asshole. You knew your job would have to be passed on to someone else."

 _Logic won't work,_ I muse.

"It was—" Tohru whines, and then coughs, clutching his head. "I don't want someone else in my place!"

"Alright." Ryota sighs. "I get it. He's _literally_ in your place. But it isn't as though Ryou likes him the way he likes you. Don't be stupid—He doesn't care for _any_ of his coworkers, if my memories are reliable."

_Well that's iffy. Things have changed since back then._

"People already know I'm back..." Tohru tries, still sounding more whiny than angry.

"Yes," Ryota agrees. "But you don't need to pitch a fit in the police station, where the other officers have every right to tear you to shreds. You were a traitor. You don't have a leg to stand on—You shouldn't fool around people who will beat the crap out of you."

I hear Tohru kick something else, but then agree— _And it shocks the hell out of me!_

I stub my cigarette and slip it into the receptacle. As I'm rounding the corner, I see Ryota rubbing Tohru's head the way I do and I stop short.

I feel a surge aggravation and a little bit of anger flare up inside me, but quash them. I throw those feelings from my mind and amble over to the car like normal.

Ryota's retreated back to the rear, and Tohru's got his feet up on the dashboard. He's staring at me with that blank expression again. "Why's your hand look like it wants to hit me?" he gibes.

_Not you—_

I swallow before speaking, trying to get rid of the dryness in my mouth. " _What?_ " I shoot back, uncurling my fist.

_I wouldn't have realized if he didn't say anything..._

Once I'm inside the car, I turn around. "Anywhere specific you want us to leave you?"

Ryota shakes his head. "I don't mind a walk."

"Then you can just take it from here if you want. Is that alright?" When he says goodbye and exits the car, I turn to Tohru. "Do you want to go to Junes?" I ask. "We need to get something for dinner."

"You sure?" he asks, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

I smile wryly. "Cat's already out of the bag, might as well—You _are_ free."

"Uh-huh. Anything _else_ you wanna say to me, Ryoutarou?" he tries, expression still hard.

"No," I evenly reply. When I turn the keys in the ignition, his hand shoots out and grabs my arm. "What're you doing?" I sigh.

"What're _you_ doing?" he repeats; an edge to his voice. "He felt bad that you were acting like a complete asshole. You _said_ to get along. Man, take the stick out of your butt."

I try to shake him off but he won't let go. "Remember what I told you last week?" Tohru interrogates. "You don't get to act like a bastard and then all sweet. That _isn't_ how this is going to work anymore."

"I know," I quietly concede, and he releases me.

" _You_ also need to tell _me_ if something's bothering you."

"Alright." I pull out of the lot and start us on our way.

Tohru takes his legs down and sits properly in the seat for once. "I'm not a mind-reader, either—Although it was pretty obvious you were jealous of the guy who hates my guts."

"He doesn't hate your guts," I sigh, pointing the car down the road.’'

"You heard all the shit he said about me inside the TV. After that, I'm sure he's just _waiting_ to be my best friend—Too bad the line's so long~" he sardonically jeers.

I shake my head. "It isn't that he was touching you. It was the _way_ he was doing it—" I try to explain.

Tohru sits up straighter. "Yeah? What the hell does that mean?" he scoffs.

"He looked... _Like_..." I can tell I'm glaring at the road. "Did it just like..."

"Like _you_?" Tohru supplies. "Did you stop and think that maybe it's because he's _supposed to look like you_?"

I can hear the smugness in his voice.

"You were just jealous~" he sneers.

I whack the steering wheel.

"You're not arguing..."

_You don’t sound incorrect._

I clear my throat and pull into the Junes lot. _There's nothing I can say to that._

I exit the car and wait for Tohru to catch up. He slips his hand into mine and starts tugging me to the entrance, apparently excited to go into the store.

"Why don't we—" I start, but his disappointed face makes me change my mind. "Nothing."

Tohru sighs and drops my hand. "It was fine this morning," he sullenly reminds me, shoving his hands into his pockets.

I place my palm on his back and we walk inside like that. "I'll get there," I weakly attempt to reassure him.

Tohru just glances at me and stays quiet. _Too docile..._

But I don't think anything of it as I lead us to produce first, and try to find a good onion. It's tough going.

"Just tell me what you need," Tohru complains, shoving me aside. Once he finds an onion, I let him know we also need scallions and mitsuba. He carefully selects more vegetables and then we head to the meat section.

I pick out a package of chicken—can't really screw _that_ up—and then we walk towards checkout. In line, I do stick my arm around Tohru, knowing I'm being overprotective. He doesn't seem to mind, thankfully.

_I don't want a lot of people coming up behind us who could give him shit._

We're only the second in line, and I think we're home free, when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I see that Tohru's silently bagging our few items, so I turn around to speak with someone I'd helped find a stolen bike about a month ago.

"Hi, Detective Dojima!" the kid smiles. "Thanks again for finding my bike down by the beach! That was such a lifesaver. I wouldn't have had enough to buy a new one and—" he cuts himself off abruptly and makes a face.

I cock an eyebrow as the kid quickly excuses himself and moves to a different line. I sigh and turn back around to find Tohru just standing there with the bag under one arm; looking lost.

"Come on," I softly tell him, taking the bag and putting my arm around him again. He looks conflicted as we trudge to the car, and I finally start to notice the other shoppers giving us a wide berth.

\---***---

In the garage, I cut the motor and let out a long, low sigh. Closing my eyes, I try counting to ten, like Sakamoto sarcastically suggested.

When I open them, Tohru's got his face right up next to mine, staring intensely. "Hey," I say in an easy tone.

He smiles and nuzzles my face. Before I can think better of it, I grab his shirt and yank him into a deep kiss—Right there in the car.

He laughs a little when I pull away and release him. "We'll be fine," he tells me, obviously trying his best to sound reassuring.

I smile weakly. "Will we, though?"

"Totally," he nods, threading his fingers through mine and swinging our hands through the air between us. I have to chuckle at the simple things he does that cheer me up. "Now are you really going to make dinner? I don't know how much I trust you anymore, after you tried to pass off that discolored onion~"

"It was fine," I smirk. "I thought that was a rare onion. Or something."

Tohru's eyes light up. "'Or something' meaning 'on its way out'?"

I cuff his shoulder and reach for the door handle, but he tugs me back to him. "What?"

He smirks and tries to kiss me again. "Oi—Give it a rest," I chuckle, leaning away. "The kids are probably here." Tohru can’t reach me well enough, so he settles for licking my face. "Gross," I mutter, wiping it off while he cracks up.

I take the bag out of the backseat and shake my head. "You're so odd sometimes."

"Only sometimes?" he questions, looking more himself.

I smile again, moving past him to unlock the door. Tohru slides by me to yell that we're back.


	21. Things Were Getting Better, Too (Nanako)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru thinks he's playing around and gets hurt. Does anyone else think scaring a cop is a bad idea? Nanako thinks the men are a freaking mess. Then Teddie hands her another piece of the puzzle... So when Tohru says something he probably means, she still drops a truth bomb on him. And DANG this is going to be the wake-up call they all need, but... It feels as though it's going to start a huge blowout. She's one tough player, and she ain't wrong.
> 
> Nighttime Nanako-Tohru-Teddie bonding has tendency to take bad turns...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to address something that nobody on here has asked about... But my husband is STILL harping on the fact that Nanako never healed Doujima when he got stabbed. By the time she was downstairs, he was dead. She doesn't have revive (yet, at least).
> 
> Also Nanako is going to begin getting more fighty and passive-aggressive in the next few chapters. My husband’s comment was “welcome to the teenage years, Nanako!”.
> 
> So I’m sorry this chapter ends on a kind-of cliffhanger. But there’ll be another tomorrow morning~~

Chapter Nineteen: Things Were Getting Better, Too

(Nanako)

When dinner is done, Dad cleans up while the rest of us talk amongst ourselves around the low table. I pull out some work and the other two watch one of the quiz shows.

"Alright," Dad announces, walking to the stairs. "I'm going for a soak."

Teddie jumps to his feet. "I'll come with you! You're not mad anymore, right?"

" _No!_ " Tohru growls and we all startle. "This is— _uhh_ —our time. _Not_ Teddie’s. Tub's not big enough..." He bolts the short distance and throws his arms around the taller man’s neck, practically choking my dad.

I try to hide my snicker as Dad panics, almost flipping Tohru in a practiced takedown. He manages to stop himself and set Tohru back on his feet. Teddie's eyes grow huge and he sits back down, inching closer to me.

"After..." Tohru's gaze slides to Dad, who sighs. Tohru's face changes to something softer as he wraps his arms tighter around his neck. "You can hang out with him after—If he's still awake," Tohru finishes, melodramatically glaring at Teddie.

"I don't sleep that early," Dad yawns.

“Sure, sure!” Tohru laughs, yanking on him. Dad frowns and yells at him to get off—So of course the younger man grins crazily and jumps up, trying to land on Dad piggyback-style.

"Shit!" Dad curses, pitching forward. He catches himself on the wall though, and Tohru guffaws loudly. "Moron!!" After a pause where it looks as though Tohru's won, Dad speaks again, quiet but clearly agitated. "I'm not carrying you upstairs. Get the hell off of me."

Tohru whines, but listens and slides back to the ground. Dad grunts and shoves him for good measure, then the two climb the stairs. Tohru is still snickering to himself the whole way up.

"They fight a lot," Teddie remarks, turning back to me.

"Tohru enjoys putting on a show," I reply, considering my answer. "He likes to be theatrical, especially around Dad." _He's showing off._

Teddie nods, but I'm unsure if he gets it. His attention is already back on the television and he's answering the questions blaring out as best he can. He sits cross-legged, clutching a pillow as he calls them aloud.

I'm only paying half-attention to the thudding above our heads, until a screech and a whole load of swearing drifts down from upstairs. Then silence.

Teddie and I glance at each other, unsure if we should check it out.

"We're fine!!" Dad yells down. And then, guiltier: " _I think_..."

I sigh and walk to the foot of the stairs, and now Dad's yelling for old towels. And s _ometimes I wonder if things will ever be boring like they used to..._

I carry up a few of the towels he uses when he works out and walk in on Tohru sitting on the floor, hissing out swears and pinching his nose. Dad's standing behind him, holding his head back so he doesn't bleed on the floor.

"I waz juth playin' ah-hound!" he shrieks. I hand him the towels and his face is all red because he's fuming. He dabs at his nose and I reach out to heal him.

"Fuck!!" Tohru chokes when he can speak properly, spitting more blood into a towel. He jabs his finger in my father's direction, and keeps screaming. "He fucking _clotheslined_ me!!!"

"Don't charge me, you stupid, _stupid_ jackass!" Dad yells back, exasperated. "Defending yourself is a natural reaction!" he protests.

I stare at them like the morons they are and sigh before leaving the room. Downstairs, Teddie asks me what happened.

"Ask them," I groan. "They're being idiots."

"Like earlier?" Teddie questions.

I shake my head. "What _happened_ earlier?"

"Kanji said Dojima-san was sick from drinking," he tells me. “I felt bad not telling you...”

"He—He did?" I ask, thrown for a loop. _That hasn't happened in a while._

Teddie nods. "And Tohru was being mean to him..."

"Good," I gibe and Teddie responds with an anxious noise. "Dad shouldn't be drinking."

"Yeah," Teddie agrees. "Kanji said that, too." He leans back to look at me better.

I sigh. "He seems fine now. What—Was he hungover?"

"I think so." Teddie scratches his head and hums. "Are you okay?"

"I will be," I frown.

I turn back to my work and notice that Teddie is creeping closer and closer. I set down my pen and smile at him.

"Hmm?" Teddie innocently asks me. "What?"

I hold in a laugh when he sits closer so he can lean against me and see what I'm doing. "Just working on a composition. It's not due for a while."

"Is it difficult?" he questions.

"This one isn't." I look over at the boy leaning his head on my shoulder and smile. "Hey, Teddie..."

"Yeah?"

"We won't end up like that, right?"

He sits up and cocks his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"Huh?" I blink. _What do I mean...?_

_How do I explain that I've seen all the mistakes. The first round._

_This second round._

_Tohru-jisan just scared Dad and got punched or something._

_Tohru-jisan's mental health problems. Dad's drinking._

_Are they even going to make it to the third round?_

I sigh. "I mean that we'll communicate better, right? Or we'll tell each other if something's wrong, or if—"

"Nanako," Teddie says to me, seeming really serious. "We'll be the best!" He smiles widely when he finishes, then wraps me up in a hug. We stay like that until we hear Tohru pounding loudly back down the stairs. Teddie lets go, but stays where he is.

"Son of a bitch," he huffs. "Let's never throw him a surprise party. Or have the only one to jump out be someone we hate. Bet they'll get fucking _shot_!" He drops down on my other side and lays his head on the table.

"Tohru-jisan," I start before I can think better of it. "Why do you like Dad?"

"Yeah?" he snorts. "Why do _you_ like the Bear? Is this a sleepover? Are we teenage girls?"

I wait for him to realize and look up. "Okay, so parts of that are true," he acquiesces. Teddie laughs good-naturedly.

"So will you tell me?" I press. "In your own words is fine. I won't critique you like last time." I grin and he rolls his eyes.

He buries his face in his arms like he's embarrassed, and mumbles out the words. "He just takes it all in stride. _Everything_. I've already done most of the things that ruin relationships, but they haven't seemed to deter him at all—"

Tohru stops and sighs heavily. "And I know a big part of that is probably because he's just to scared to lose anyone, but— _But_ —"

He chuffs a few times and is silent. I think he's done, but then he goes on, taking a different tack.

"So that's why I put up with all of _his_ shit. He's got his own problems, but maybe in the long-run I can help him, too..."

I wait, figuring he'll tell me when he's done.

"And I know blabbermouth over there had to have told you—" he groans. "That was stupid and I'll do better next time."

He's quiet again, and...

_I know this is going to come out meaner than I intend—_

_But I can't help myself—_

"Tohru-jisan?" I say, then bite my lip.

_All of a sudden I need him to know I've been counting on him. Because I'm realizing that I have—Dad and I don't really talk and someone has to help him._

"Don't make promises you don't know if you can keep."


	22. Long Way (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanako’s pretty disappointed—In this story we’re still treating the fact that Ryoutarou is always drinking as a serious thing. And Tohru seriously values his relationship with Nanako.
> 
> I always figured that Ryoutarou would try and get in the middle of a Tohru-Kanji fight. I did NOT expect him to get so worked up over a Nanako-Tohru fight. Tohru'd better talk him down...
> 
> Then they go into town before work. And that doesn’t help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today’s first posting! I’m still two ahead, but will only post a second time today if I can hang onto that lead.
> 
> The biggest pain about Japan is that coffee shops and cafes don’t usually open until at least seven. Most places here open at five or six am, and I don’t live in no city (in the US)! I found this out when I was in Oosaka and then Tokyo!! I was told that most jobs don’t begin until nine or ten, so there’s no reason for shops to start earlier when people will still be at home. Jeez...
> 
> I had terrible jet lag and wanted a coffee at four am—I’m normally up around five and figured what the hell. I ended up going for a vending machine, and then wandering around at six. When the first two Starbucks’ were closed and I told my husband it had to be a weird coincidence. We opened Google Maps. They were ALL seven or eight. I was convinced it was a misprint, but he just sighed and dragged me back to the hotel... (It clearly wasn’t a misprint...)

 

Chapter Twenty: Long Way

(Tohru)

"Don't make promises you don't know if you can keep."

That's all it takes to freeze me in place. Like my blood has been replaced with ice.

Or cold, hard tar.

_Because I know if anything, I made it worse—_

_Letting it happen._

_Rewarding bad behavior._

_But he was acting so honest and vulnerable! I wanted to convince him that—_

_Okay I just wanted him to feel better as fast as possible. And that's quickest way and—_

_And I'm still coming up with excuses..._

_But—_

I realize someone's shaking me and I look up. It's Teddie, and his face is all scrunched up and sad.

"W-w-what?" I try, my voice cracking.

 _Teddie looks really worried_.

"You're _crying_ , Tohru!" he tells me, seeming on the verge of tears, himself. "Nana—" he gestures to the stairs and I get the picture.

"O-oh," is all I can say. I touch my hand to my face and I do feel hot liquid— _Guess he's right._

"I di-didn't wanna leave you all b-by your lonesome—" Teddie starts, and then he _does_ cry.

And I don't know what to do— _Really no fucking idea. The kid's downright bawling!!_

I can tell my own eyes are still leaking as I pull him to me—

 _Because he's crying for me, isn't he?_ _It feels too cold to just leave him there sobbing on the floor alone._

It becomes such a stupid fucking cycle. He keeps crying because I'm crying and then I can't stop because he's crying.

We're down to sniffles by the time we hear Ryoutarou's plodding footsteps on the stairs. "What're you two doing?" he asks us, his voice heavy with sleep. "Are you—" he squints, waking up a little. "Are you _crying_? The _both_ of you?"

"N-no!" I shout, pushing Teddie away.

"Why didn't he go home?" Ryoutarou groans. "It's after midnight!"

Teddie shrinks back against me and I sigh. "S-sorry," he hiccoughs.

"Did you two fight again?"

" _Yes!_ " I easily lie. "Dammit—That's _exactly_ what happened! Fucken' Teddie..."

And that makes Teddie's eyes tear up again.

" _Ngh_..." I vocalize. "Don't do that—I-I'm n-not mad anymore! He-heh~" I throw on my plastic smile and the boy wipes at his face.

"Go sleep in Tohru's room. Text Kanji," Ryoutarou sighs. " _You_ come with me."

I squinch my eyes shut and sigh. Then I lean on the table to stand, with Teddie using me to pull himself to his feet once I'm up.

When he's satisfied that we're moving the pity party upstairs, Ryoutarou follows us. Teddie drops off first, as my room is on the opposite end from ours. I hesitate before stepping through the door, so Ryoutarou makes a tired noise and pushes me into the bedroom.

"Let's go," he complains, closing the door behind himself. "I'm exhausted..."

I take a few gulps of air as I shuck my clothes and toss them in a heap. _I don't even have a smart comment._

I flop onto the futon with a muffled _thwump_.

“I’m not buying your theatrics.” Ryoutarou says and guesses wrong again. "Did Teddie fight with Nanako?"

"No," I reply into my pillow.

"Then what happened?" he questions—And the thought that it could've been _me_ and Nanako that fought isn't even going to cross his mind.

I don't speak. So Ryoutarou tires of waiting and shakes me. "What is _with_ you two..."

_I fucked up._

_You fucked up._

_We're screwing up..._

Ryoutarou moves closer, shifting so he can hold me and I think he's asleep, but then he sighs. "You need to cut the kid some slack."

— _Didn’t buy it, huh?_

"It _wasn't_ him," I mumble, piqued.

"Then what was it?" he questions. "You both looked like the world was ending."

I curl up tighter, not wanting to deal with this. "We're throwing out the beer until you can have just one or two."

_He's gonna get angry now—_

" _Excuse me?_ " Ryoutarou growls, sitting up.

_He's gonna be sooo fucking pissed..._

"Nanako was upset because she found out you were drinking. You have to stop—"

" _You fought with Nanako?_ " he whispers harshly, disbelief lacing his voice. "About _me_?"

I nod silently.

" _Neither_ of you gets to decide—"

I groan and kick away from Ryoutarou. I flip over so I can see his face. "Yes we do," I challenge. "She's your family! She's worried!!"

_He does look pretty tired._

"She was upset?"

"With me, too."

" _That's_ not fair—" he tries.

I close my eyes and sigh. "Yes it is," I insist. "We're in this together. I can't just go along with your bad ideas. You didn't try to just muscle me out of prison. You were intent on following the system and—"

"That's different!" he objects. "It was—

"Nnnrgh! Just because it was a _legal_ matter doesn't make it—" I shake my head. "You made me go through the proper procedures. I should do the same for you and get you back on track."

He looks like I kicked him in the face. "I'm _fine_ , Tohru! She shouldn't be—"

" _Yes she should!_ " I spit, yanking at my hair. "It isn't fair to her to have to deal with that!"

We stare at each other for a while...

_Nothing left to say._

Just catching our breaths and collecting our thoughts.

He finally says something and it's the _wrong_ thing. _Again_. "She made you cry, though?"

"Because she's _right_!"

_This is exhausting._

_And if you get in the middle of this—_

Ryoutarou sighs and starts to stand.

_Ohh fuck—_

_No!_

"Where are you _going_?" I demand.

"To fix this," he replies stretching.

_It's the middle of the fucking night! You can't wake her up to—_

" _No_ ," I tell him, mustering up as much of a commanding tone as I can.

" _You_ don't tell _me_ how to discipline m—"

" _No_!" I repeat. "You sit the fuck back down because this is _not_ how to deal with the situation. Especially because she's right— _So sit down and shut up._ "

He gawks at me, clearly surprised I'd order him around so aggressively, and about something that isn't entirely my business. _But..._

"We all live here, now. _And_ you said you wanted to add me to your koseki. You need to let us work out our problems with each other by ourselves, unless we _ask_ for your help. Don't be bullheaded. It'll only make things worse."

Ryoutarou's still looking at me like he's never seen me before in his life. But he sighs and walks back over to the futon.

"Better," I quip.

"I have work," he mutters, not conceding deft. He lies back down, grumbling the whole time.

I wrap my arms around him this time, and he lets me. "We _all_ have work," I snap. I bury my head in his back and try to sleep.

\---***---

Still on high alert, I'm able to wake up right away when Ryoutarou starts to peel me off of him. He's not that stealthy, and high-alert is a _learned_ skill after all.

"Gonna leave me here?" I ask, shifting away.

"Unh," he grumbles. "I was going to get you after I..."

"Made me breakfast?" I smirk.

"We'll go with that."

I roll backwards, then tumble forwards, jumping to my feet. "You're not leaving me here to go fight with Nanako."

"I wasn't," he tries, but I give him a good look and he rolls his eyes. Then he walks to a dresser to take out his work clothes, and I tell him I'm going to do the same.

I yank on my shorts and then remember that Teddie is sleeping in my room— _Shit._

"Ryoutarou?" I call.

"Hmm?" he intones, buttoning up his shirt.

I glance at the second dresser and think better of it. I shake my head and start towards the door.

"Tohru," Ryoutarou sighs, definitely understanding what I was going to ask. " _Soon_. I promise—Remind me this weekend."

"Really?" I question— _Hadn't thought it would be that easy._

"I'm going to straighten out. And I won't start a fight today."

"Good." I feel myself smiling. "Now I have to go disturb a sleeping bear..."

He stops me with one more statement. "I did ask you to help me not lose you..." He murmurs it quietly, but I catch the whole thing and begin to feel better.

I walk back towards him for a kiss and he tells me to wipe the grin off my face. "Why?" I ask. "You're letting me throw out the beer. That's reason to be happy~"

"I didn't agree to _that_!"

"Too late," I quip, kissing his cheek and dashing out of the room. "That's how you can help me, by not acting like a baby about this."

I take off, sliding the door shut behind me and stepping quietly down the hall. _Nanako's probably up, but I'm not quite ready._

I almost inaudibly open my own door and see Teddie sleeping in my futon. I sigh as quietly as I can.

_Curled up all the way just like me._

_A skinny lump under the covers._

_I really have to live with this reminder of all my failings. And he's a relationship with my bes—_

_No I did not just think that!!_

_It makes no sense!_

_It's childish._

_She wouldn't like that._

_Of course it make no sense._

_Stupid stupid stupid..._

I realize I'm scratching my head and I force my hand away, and slip to the dresser. I pull out a tee-shirt and long shorts and socks. Then I pitch the socks back in.

 _‘Bear’ minimum_ , I laugh to myself. I change quickly and toss yesterday's clothes in a heap with the others.

Teddie stirs a little, and I realize I should wake him. He needs to head out, too.

"Hey Bear," I speak to the futon. "Rise and shine, lazy lump~" I tack on with a mimicked, high-pitched laugh before I realize what I'm doing.

" _'Kay, neechan,_ " he mumbles, still out and not moving from his position under the blankets.

I feel myself freezing again. Like I'm on fire.

_I did NOT just say that!!_

_Ooh fuck I DID NOT._

_Not to him. And he did not call me 'neechan'._

_He will not remember anything!!_

I back up until I hit the door and scrabble for the handle. I stumble out into the hall and smack right into Ryoutarou.

He catches me, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Tohru, you're shaking," he says in a low voice.

"Y-y-ye-ah?"

"White as a sheet..." He tightens his grip and I think I'm calming down a little

"Y-you always tell me I'm pasty!" I try to joke.

Ryoutarou sighs. "Don't do that. If you're helping me, then," he trails off.

I tip back to look at him as I shut the door. "Not around _that one_."

He nods. "Maybe tomorrow, when Aizawa comes by?"

" _Shit_ ," I moan.

He snorts and leans his head on mine. "Don't."

"You're in the way," comes Nanako's sharp voice from behind us. _Still snippy._

Then, arrogantly—"No we're not." _Ugh dammit Ryoutarou._

He doesn't release me, but instead lifts me off my feet and drags me—kicking out for traction—down the stairs and I glare helplessly at him. He rolls his eyes.

"You may be stronger than me, but you still weigh nothing." _Bastard must've realized he has the upper hand if I can't grab onto anything._

"This isn't going to help," I growl.

Ryoutarou shrugs his free shoulder and sets me back down on the first floor. "Stay here," he orders, taking out food. Then he thinks better of it and shoves the pot of soup back in the fridge.

"What—?" I complain.

"You want to eat out?" he asks, trying to bribe me.

I sigh. "Are you being a jerk because you're mad?"

"Taking you out to eat is being a jerk?" he scoffs. "I was even going to let you pick..."

"No," I groan, pushing him aside to take out the soup and heat it on the stove. "Make your damn coffee."

Ryoutarou grumbles but gets to work. I hear the grinder and then footsteps above our heads. _The kids probably need to eat, too._

_Which is why he was trying to leave in a hurry._

_This is all such a pain in the ass._

When I'm satisfied the soup is warming, I start to take all the beer out of the fridge. Three and a half six-packs. I pop the first tab and dump a can down the drain.

Ryoutarou watches me, growing more and more irritated.

"It'll be faster if you help," I inform him. Ryoutarou moans but opens a can and pours it down the drain.

"What if we just gave it away..."

"Kanji _doesn't_ want it," I quip.

Then Teddie is racing down the stairs, with Nanako lagging behind. "Morning, Tohru!" he yells.

"Sorry I didn't wake you," I mumble, feeling guilty. _He was nice..._

_—er than I am. That's what everything boils down to._

"Yes, you were too busy, huh?" Nanako remarks.

And I know she isn't even trying to get a rise out of _me_ anymore.

_I know she's poking at me because it'll rile up—_

"Yes he _was_ ," Ryoutarou curtly replies before I can, lifting one of the cans to his face. I smack it away and he glares at me when he drops it.

The still-heavy can lands with a dull _kang_ ing sound. Cold beer drips into the sink and he stalks away. "I'll meet you in the car," Ryoutarou forces the words out and stomps off, grabbing his things.

I have about ten left... _If he leaves me here I'll really be pissed._

"I'll help you~" Teddie smiles, popping two more cans open and shaking them out.

I have to snicker a little at his enthusiasm. _It's something._

When we're finished I say goodbye.

"You're going to work?" the boy asks me.

I nod. "We'll pick up breakfast on the way," I say, scratching at my head.

He notices and pats my hand. I definitely grimace— _I know he's trying to comfort me but that isn't helpful._

"See you there," I tell him and walk into the garage.

I open the car door and Ryoutarou's smoking, looking _very_ pissed. "You ready to go?"

I nod and buckle up. He puts what's left of the cigarette out, and we start for town.

" _Did_ you eat?" Ryoutarou asks.

"No."

"Bakery?" he queries and I nod again.

He parks on the side of the road and exits the car. Standing on the sidewalk, he raises his eyebrows when I don't move.

"I can wait here," I tell him, sliding down in the seat.

"No," he says. "Come on. You can go in."

"You really want me to?" _It'll just cause more problems._

"Tohru," he says, sighing and opening my door. "Let's go."

 _He's standing there, on the sidewalk with his hand outstretched and what can I do but grab hold?_ I take his hand and climb out of the car.

"It's early," Ryoutarou quietly tells me. "It'll be better than yesterday."

"Sure," I halfheartedly agree, sticking close.

He pushes open the door to the bakery and we step inside. It's usually less crowed than the cafe to begin with, which is why he likes it. Only one person is at a table, reading the paper and drinking coffee. An empty dish rests nearby.

At the counter he lets go of me to pass them his thermos and take money out of his wallet. He asks for a sandwich for himself and melonpan for me.

"And a black tea," I add. "Please."

When we're in the car, I open the lid on my paper cup and take a look, feeling rightly paranoid.

_Spit. A big hunk of it._

"What're you—" Ryoutarou makes a face.

"Nothing." I put the lid back on and smile as best I can. "Thank you," I tell him, eating the bread. It's been prepackaged.

He drops me in front of the textile shop. I grab my bag and then reach for the tea. Ryoutarou frowns—appearing suspicious—and snatches it up first. "You haven't touched it."

I close the door again as he lowers, ripping the lid back off and I flinch. He says nothing, and that scares me a little.

He just looks into the cup and turns a dark shade of red as he gets angrier and angrier. _What an idiot to do that when Ryoutarou’s with me..._

"You can't arrest them," I say. "It isn't illegal."

"You deserve a new one. We _paid_ for it!" Ryoutarou spits. "I'll go back and—"

"No," I groan. "You had to have known this was going to happen..."

"It _shouldn't_!" he quips. "This isn't right and you know—"

" _What I_ _know_ ," I try. "Is that you can't go take this out on one worker at the bakery." Ryoutarou's staring me down, eyes blazing— _Absolutely seething._

I tentatively touch his shoulder and he lets me, still looking like his eyes are going to pop out of his head. "You can't take it back. You'll go apeshit. If I take it back, they'll say I spit in it myself."

_This ain’t my first rodeo._

I slowly take the full disposable cup and dump it outside the car. "It's going to be okay. Do you need to come inside and talk to Kanji?"

"No. I need to go back to the bakery."

Sighing, I pull out my phone and quickdial Kanji.

"Hey where are you?" he questions when he picks up.

"Outside in the car," I reply. "Trying to talk down a future murderer. I don't think I'm the best choice..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. I finally got Discord. akaicchi#6187


	23. Everything’s Catching Up (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji calms everyone down. Then he and Tohru start work, with Teddie coming in slightly late. Tohru drops his OWN truth bombs, impressing Kanji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes: I listed my Discord because everyone should add me. It wouldn’t let me upload my Iyami picture, so it’s the Line illustration of Doujima just FYI. All my other accounts are Iyami... Why wouldn’t it let meeee......
> 
> I still haven’t written the second half of Twenty-Two. Hope I get it done this evening. Been zonked out most’ve the day, actually. I’m in between jobs and insomnia’s kicking in again.

Chapter Twenty-One: Everything’s Catching Up

(Kanji)

I know Tohru's desperate because he calls _me_.

"What happened?" I bark back.

"Somebody spit in my tea—" he huffs.

"That's all?" I quiz. _I thought it'd be a lot worse, from the way he said I needed to talk Dojima down._

Tohru makes some more aggravated noises before he speaks again. "Oh it's not _just_ that."

"I'm on my way," I tell him.

"Nanako's been snappy because of the drinking—Your little pet project told her. And Ryoutarou's acting like he can make everything better by chewing her out."

I can hear Dojima yelling that Nanako can't talk to Tohru like that. _This'll be fun._

Maybe Tohru dropped the phone because it all sounds far away. By now I'm out front where I can see them having it out in the car. Dojima's shaking Tohru by the shoulders and his tiny head is flying back and forth.

I hang up the phone and knock on the window. Dojima releases Tohru and whips around. His eyes widen when he sees me and he starts the car.

Tohru opens his door and hangs partway out, shouting that Dojima can't drive with the door open.

"Didn't he run over your foot like this once?" I groan.

"Fuck—" Tohru screeches as the car starts to slowly move forward.

"In or out!" Dojima growls.

I jog alongside the car and pound on the window. "Hey, c'mon Ojisan. People aren't gonna suddenly like him just because you yell at 'em. It's gonna take time and patience."

"He has neither!" Tohru's still leaning out, grabbing onto the roof. _I don't know why. Dojima clearly isn't going to stop the car._

_Plus it's only going like seven kilos an hour._

"Tohru unlock the car," I call and he presses the button.

I jump into the backseat and Tohru pulls himself inside the car and shuts the door.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"I don't know," Dojima angrily concedes. "You're going to stop me from knocking sense into anyone."

"Well yeah..."

" _Sic 'im, Kanji!_ " Tohru shouts, pointing at Dojima. "You can do better than that!!"

"Ojisan," I sigh. "Want me to go into the bakery for you?"

Tohru turns around, his face pleading. " _I_ wanna drop it!"

Dojima stops the car in front of the bakery and throws it into park. "If we don't stop this at the beginning it'll only get worse and worse." He shuts the engine and I think he's shaking. _Super angry._

"That make sense," I tell him. "So why don't you give me the cup." I reach forward and Dojima grudgingly passes it to me. "I'll be right back."

Inside, it's someone I've seen around who's behind the counter. Younger than me, but we've spoken a few times.

"Mornin'" I tell him.

"Hi," he replies in a friendly voice. "What would you like?"

I hold out the empty cup and he groans. "Yeah," I sigh. "My friend was dumping his tea and I asked why. Bad batch?"

"Maybe." He looks away, a sour expression in his eyes.

"Can we please get a refill? Or a whole new cup?" I try to ask politely.

He nods and retreats to another area. He gives me a new hot tea and a melonpan for free. "Please come back again," he guiltily recites.

"Thanks," I nod and return to the car. Tohru watches me nervously through the window. "Brand new cup, even!" I brightly tell him when I get inside. "Here. He gave you another bread, too."

"Thank you," Tohru says, and he looks kind of pathetic. Dojima nods, his eyes not leaving Tohru.

"I've got a store to open," I remind them. Dojima starts the car up again and drives us back to the house. "Today's parole officer day, right?" I ask after Tohru goes inside by himself.

Dojima sighs. "Yes. I'll give you a heads-up when I hear from him. I'll be there."

"Okay. Let me know." When I leave him, I see Dojima beat the steering wheel a few times for good measure.

I sigh and enter the store. I flip the sigh to 'open' and leave the door ajar.

"Tohru," I ask when I find him. He's nursing his tea in the backroom, staring ahead blankly. "You think you should maybe call that chief guy and give him a warning that Ojisan's going off on people?"

Tohru makes a pained face and agrees. "But I'm worried he'll get in trouble. He was officially warned to tone it down some time ago. He told me."

_That makes sense. But isn't good for Dojima—He is this close to snapping._

"You know the number?" I ask. When he shakes his head, I pass him my phone. I have the station on speed dial.

Tohru sets down his tea and takes the phone. "Hi, may I speak with Chief Sakamoto?" I see him try. "Uh—This is Tatsumi Kanji!" he yells.

"No it's not!" I shout back.

After a pause, he changes his answer. "It's Tatsumi's phone. And we need to speak with the chief. So patch it through," he orders.

I fold my arms and wait. _I hope they'll let him talk._

"H-hi Sakamoto~" I hear Adachi say. "Yep! Enjoying the free life... Ha... Ha... No I have _real_ business," he sighs. "We're concerned... One of your particularly quick-to-anger detectives may go on a rampage. ...Yes. People are acting like you'd expect—Hell _I_ expected it! Yes. He left super aggravated. Maybe you could please talk to him? ...We _tried_."

He answers a few more questions and tells Sakamoto about the tea. Then something about Junes. He copies down another phone number and then ends the conversation with a "thank you" before hanging up.

"You think he'll be able to talk some sense into him?" I question.

Tohru snorts. "Dunno if _anyone_ can talk sense into that asshole. He asked if we tried. What does he think—We sent the land mine to work all riled up on purpose?!"

I see him start scratching his head and remind him that he has bread. "Oh yeah," Tohru replies, going for that instead.

But then he stops. "W-what if I saved it for Teddie?" He rubs his head this time. "Do you think he'd want it? I heard it's his favorite, too..."

"That Bear? Pass up food?" I snort. "He'd love you even more!!" I can't help laughing, and it makes Tohru crack a smile, so maybe it helped.

"I'll leave it here, then." Tohru drops the bread back to the table and drinks more tea. "So what can I do today?"

I think, absently itching the back of my neck. "We'll be getting a shipment in about half an hour. Wanna help me with that?" He shrugs, so I take it as a 'yes'.

Tohru stays in the backroom, watching my mom make a kimono until it's time. Then I tell him we're heading out back and he rises to follow me.

I sign off on the load of dyes and fibers, and make sure everything is here. Tohru gets along fine with the out-of-towers from the shipping company. He speaks all friendly while he and a guy take the stuff out of the truck.

When they leave, Tohru collapses on the ground. "Whew!" he sighs. "I forgot how exhausting it is to act all nice..."

"That's only half the battle," I tell him. "We still need to bring these into the store."

Tohru laughs loudly and gives me a smug look. "That's easy! I'm worn out from that chatty guy, but I can bring these in, if you want— _That's_ not a bother. Where do they go?"

I shrug. "If you say so. You can stack them in the back room and I'll put everything away."

I watch as Tohru hefts a box filled with containers of dye and I gotta admit that I'm impressed. _Man—I knew that he was strong, but he didn't even grunt or anything when he picked it up._

I mean— _I_ think those are heavy.

"How much can you lift?" I ask our of curiosity. I follow him back with my own box.

He shrugs. "These aren't bad. How much do you weigh? Bet I can lift you."

I stare at him. "I mean like weights. Did you exercise when you were..."

"No!" he guffaws. "I _hate_ exercise!!"

"You should check. See how much weight you can do. Dojima would help you."

"I can lift him!" Tohru grins, easily setting the box down.

I roll my eyes. "Still not what I mean."

Tohru laughs again and goes back outside for more boxes. I start unpacking and Teddie walks in.

"Hi," he calls out in a yawny voice.

"Didn't get any sleep?" I tease him.

But then he frowns. "Not a lot. They were all fighting..."

"Yeah, I heard." I stop speaking when Tohru comes back.

"Hey Bear~" he smiles. "I got you something, but you have to sniff it out for—"

Teddie immediately runs over to the table, honing in on the melonpan. "Is it this?" he asks.

"Yeah," Tohru grumbles. "That wasn't any fun..."

"It smells like it was in your bag," Teddie informs him, ripping the package open.

When Tohru goes back out, I turn to Teddie and fold my arms. "Ted," I try again. "Did you maybe tell Nanako something that upset her?"

The boy stops eating and bites his lip. He nods slowly. "I think I maybe started a fight..."

I sigh. "It's not good to get in other people's business like that."

Teddie eats slower, looking worried. "Nana's really, really angry."

"That's what I heard. Ojisan's pissed. Tohru is acting like the whole thing won't just blow over, and Dojima's been ready to snap all week. I don't like this."

Tohru comes back in and puts another box down. "I can near you two, y'know. The door's open," he says. "And I figured it was you, idiot. So now you have to help me make up with her, okay?"

Teddie nods.

"Good!" Tohru huffs. "Because if she and Ryou get to the point where they openly fight, it's going to be a complete shitshow."

"I've only ever heard of them fighting once," I add. "It was terrible!"

Starting to pace, Tohru groans. "You know why, right?" he asks, directing the question at me.

I shake my head. "Cause she's got her own little temper?"

"Nope. It's because he doesn't act like a real parent," Tohru tells us. "When I met her, Nanako was like a mini-adult. She did practically all the cooking, cleaning, and looking after herself. If he only acts like he's in charge when it's convenient—Well _that's_ not really fair."

Tohru sighs and stops walking. "They don't have a great relationship. They act more like unrelated adults who split rent."

"What about you?" Teddie pipes up.

The other man groans loudly again. "The only reason I don't feel bad I take up so much of Ryou's time is because she wasn't going to get it, anyway. And I kinda need it." He scowls and stars walking again. "I enjoy spending time with Nanako, but fuck—I'll never be like a parent. She doesn't _want_ one and it isn't my place to intrude on their dynamic."

I scratch my head, a little lost. "What do you mean?"

"I would never, ever try to tell Nanako what to do, or tell her that she can't say how she feels. Last night, Ryou was being such a fuckhead—" he spits. "He can't tell her how to deal with me because—really—she shouldn't have to!"

Tohru walks right in front of me and looks up at my face. He's got his hand laced behind his head, but his gaze is really serious. "And I thought about what you said, and I need to be more respectful that she lives there, too. _Okay?_ "

"Huh?" I say. " _You_ listened to _me_??"

"Yeah, dumbass," he hisses. "Just throwing a blanket over him wasn't the right solution, okay? I get that. I was being lazy, I guess." He looks away, glaring at the wall.

"Uhh, okay," I tell him. "A-as long as we're clear!"

"Don't get smart, punk," he scolds me, leaning into my personal space, before heading back outside.

I turn to Ted. "Hey— _That_ conversation needs to stay between us, got it?"

He nods quickly.


	24. More Excuses (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start off with Ryoutarou’s angry brooding. He goes to work without realizing it and end up dragged into Sakamoto’s office again. They talk about how things are going, and then he gets to work. Small exchange with Yamamura. Then he picks up food and heads to Kanji’s, where they’ll meet Ito—Who’s giving nothing away, I might add...
> 
> And it does bother Ryoutarou that he never knew... They promise to have everything laid bare this weekend—All of the things they haven’t spoken of!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe that "shisa" is a more commonly-known term that "komainu", but they're the same. Growing up, my dad always called them "foo-dogs" so what do I know?!
> 
> Did anyone notice that I have quite a few throwback quotes? In each story there has been at least one quote that one of the guys says that’s some sort of throwback to an ‘older’ (timeline-wise) quote. This time it’s the one about lying and the subsequent “talk to ME”. I like that kinda stuff. Just wanted to let y’all know it IS done on purpose.

 

Chapter Twenty-Two: More Excuses

(Ryoutarou)

After they get out, I stay parked in front of the textile store for a few minutes, unable to calm down.

_Tohru's right._

_Kanji's right._

_I shouldn't have gone in there. I would've knocked him out._

_It's all building up and up and up and I'm liking people less and less. All the things I loved so much about Inaba are coming back to bite me._

_I can understand disliking him, but exacting small acts of aggression—_

_This vigilante crap snowballs too easily. I've seen it before._

_Maybe I thought it would be too easy. I wanted it to be easy._

_After all the years where I could only see him once a week. Sometimes twice. Sometimes he was thrown into solitary for being an instigator and it was not at all. All the court dates that sucked up more time._

_The crippling fucking loneliness. Again._

_I know. I know he's not a 'good person'. But neither am I._

_I thought he could shape up, so I waited for him._

_I know there's good in there, but because he's done what's probably the worst thing anyone can do—_

_Because he's been the worst, no one will give him another shot. They want him permanently hung out to dry._

_Why does it have to be like this? Why can't I—_

"Detective!" I hear as I'm yanked into Sakamoto's office. For the second day in a row.

I groan aloud. _Hadn't even realized I'd ended up at work on autopilot._

"Well I was told you'd be on a rampage, but you look more like..." He sits and drums his fingers on his desk, thinking.

I sigh and take a seat, nudging the door closed. "I look like _what_?"

"Not how I like to remember you," Sakamoto tells me, shaking his head. "You look like hell."

"I think I've _been_ there," I counter. "And it's better than this."

Sakamoto stares at me from across his desk and sighs. "I told, you this wasn't going to be easy. Do you believe me now?"

I grudgingly nod. "It's torture. I want to crack some heads."

"I know," he chuckles. "But there's that looming suspension and all."

"Then I'll _really_ go on a 'rampage'," I retort, starting to cheer up despite the dour tone of the conversation.

Sakamoto taps on his desk a few times. "Look, unless something actually illegal happens, all you can do is be your intimidating self. You can't lose it. That won't help anything... And it sounds as though Adachi doesn't want you sticking up for him."

"That's what he keeps saying," I grunt. "So I just sit there and take it, like I've had to all this time? Even when he's _right here_ and they're doing it in front of my face?!" I slap the desk.

"He did everything he had to in order to come back here. Had a fair trial, went to prison, behaved there, and so on. He—" I sigh. "He looked so sad. It really bothered me."

"Because of the tea?" Sakamoto wisely questions.

I shake my head. "At the depart—At Junes." I glance up and see him studying me. "Someone walked away mid-sentence when he came up behind me. I don't think it's because he wants them to like him, necessarily... But he always acts like I'd be better off sending him packing and I'm sick of it."

Sakamoto's still watching me seriously, and I hold eye contact. "You and I both know damn well that I wouldn't be better off on my own."

_He knows it’s the truth..._

My oldest friend nods once; a small sign of his agreement to the obvious. "Then you need to bear this with him. Talk to me and talk to Tatsumi—I know you two are friendlier than us, these days. Make Adachi stick close to you two, as well. People are less likely to lash out with either of you two komainu guarding him."

"Mmn."

"Now go get to work. I know you're leaving early for the parole officer," Sakamoto tells me, returning to his own duties.

"I'll keep you updated," I wave as I leave the office.

Sakamoto nods. "Good. Stay on your toes and keep calm. I gave Adachi my number and told him to tell me if things go south."

I groan. " _Super._ "

\---***---

I call Tohru and let him know that I’m leaving the station. I ask him to tell Kanji and he’s surprisingly agreeable; yelling over to the other one while I’m still on the line.

Throwing everything I might need into my bag, I say goodbye to Yamamura. He’s been yammering on for a while but I’ve mostly tuned it out.

“Shit,” I grunt as I walk to the door. “I’ll be in late, tomorrow. Tohru has a doctor’s appointment.”

“Leave it to me, boss!” Yamamura smiles. I roll my eyes and head out the back door.

_I will never simply leave anything to a partner ever again. Not this one’s fault, but it’s what it is._

I order to-go from Aiya’s and pick it up on the way. I park behind the store and open the door to the house without knocking. I slip off my shoes and toss my bags on the table. Teddie finds me first.

“Dojima-san~” he grins. “Have a good day?”

“Sure,” I flippantly reply.

The boy fidgets before taking a seat. “They’re doing stock. I told Tohru you’re here and he’ll be over in a minute.”

“Thanks,” I nod. I start taking Tohru’s files out and grab the packet from the counter. “Oi, Ted.” I look over at him. “Can you let us know if you get a funny feeling from this guy? Ryota did. I’m sure Tohru will also be able to tell, but...”

“But he’s newer at it, right?” Teddie supplies.

“Sure,” I evenly repeat. “We’ll go with that.”

“Okay!!” he easily, excitedly agrees. _Happy to have a job._

The other two walk into the room right after, so I raise an eyebrow at the boy, hoping he gets the message to keep this between us.

He giggles.

... _I don’t think he gets it._

I sigh and shake my head, turning my attention to Tohru. “Did you do well today?”

He smirks and flexes his muscles. “ _I’m_ stronger than Kanji~” he boasts to me.

Kanji looks aggravated. “He won _one_ arm wrestle...”

A laugh escapes me as Tohru shows off more. Teddie nods, adding that Tohru doesn’t _seem_ strong and he glares at the boy.

“Alright,” I tell them. “Tohru and I need to discuss the plan, and you’re still working, right?”

Kanji nods and ushers Teddie back to the store. I take two containers out of the plastic bag from the diner.

“Did you eat?” I ask Tohru. He begins to nod, but then thinks better of it and shakes his head emphatically instead. “Oh _really_?” I snort.

“Yep~” he sings, grabbing one and opening it. “Mabo...” he groans and opens the other. “Steak bowl!!” Tohru cheers, grabbing chopsticks from a drawer and hands me a spoon.

I have to chuckle— _I did get the steak for him, but that’s presumptuous._

“You decide who gets what?” I ask, smirking.

He shovels meat into his mouth, ignoring the rice. “I was just gonna eat the first half and then trade,” he tries, eyes dancing.

“Would my half include less steak and more rice?” I query, eating the mabodoufu.

“No...” His eyes slide away as he says it.

I lean over and pat his back. “It was for you, moron.”

“Really?” Tohru asks, looking unsure.

I raise my eyebrows. “Would I lie? And about something as trivial as _food_?”

Tohru rudely points his chopsticks at me. “That’s how lying starts!” he exclaims. “It’s small things and then it keeps getting bigger and bigger until you can't control it anymore.”

_That’s ringing a bell somehow..._

_Can’t quite place it._

“Hey—” Tohru says, more loudly. “Whatcha thinking about? Talk to _me_.”

I shake my head to clear it. _Major déjà vu, there._

“Let’s talk strategy,” I attempt to steer Tohru back on track. “Ito will be here within the hour.” I stop speaking for a few more bites while Tohru appears to ignore my last comment.

"If we're pretending we don't know him, then you have to act like we're not together," I say.

"Why?" Tohru scoffs, rolling his eyes.

I sigh. " _Really?_ I'm your official volunteer. It's unprofessional. Borderline inappropriate."

"So... What?"

"Sakamoto gave me a lecture on being inappropriate last week, _so behave_." I shut my eyes, knowing this is all going to give me a headache. "We don’t need more things to be looked down on for—Not much anyone can do now, but... Please _try_ to play along."

"Okay _platonic_ -work-partner-that-I've- _never_ —"

"Shut _up_ , Tohru! Take this seriously!!" I shout, thumping the table—Can feel myself getting aggravated. "I'd tell you to go get me a coffee, but..." I trail off, reaching for my thermos.

He laughs, grinning. "But I've already given you the gift of all-day coffee~"

"I was gonna say that someone would spit in it," I mutter.

"Get over it," he huffs. "You remember that _I'm_ the bad guy here, right? Not the innocent townspeople, _plagued_ by Franken-Izanami's evil monster sent to bring judgment unto them~" he dramatically sings.

I exhale, then take another sip. _Can't smoke in here._

I feel my eye twitch. _If he continues that spiel I am going to snap..._

"They're _not_ innocent when they begin to retaliate. If we don’t watch it, a few clods will become a landslide."

"Yeah yeah—I can handle myself," Tohru glares at me.

I sigh. _The last time you handled it by yourself things went badly._

"I _know_ what you're thinking," he testily growls. "Let them see I can let things go. That's _my_ plan. It'll likely blow over when I don't pay any attention. That's how bullies _work_." He waves his chopsticks around and smiles in a way I don't care for.

_Too sad—I'd have to say despondent._

"Stop it!" I snap before I can stop _myself_.

His eyes bug out at me. "Jeez, what?" Tohru complains.

"Sorry—Just," I try. Then I'm honest. "If you get down about it, I really will crack some skulls."

He snickers. "Don't make me laugh when I should be yelling at you. Because really—" he smirks and leans closer to me. " _Love_ that you'd go on the offensive for me~ But you need to cool down. I told you that isn't the way to handle this."

I roll my eyes and push his face away. "We'll see."

"So you want any steak?" Tohru asks, changing the subject.

I shake my head. "I'm watching my cholesterol," I admit.

He can't hold in _that_ laugh at all.

"Jackass," I mutter.

"All that fried shit finally catch up with you?!"

"Yes. Har har... The exercise does help." I finish the tofu and rinse the container before throwing it in the bin.

"You always used to feed me that crap—Couldn't stand it!" he dramatically huffs, a smile creeping onto his face anyway.

When I sit down again, I open his file to glance at the details I've gone over so many times before. Tohru finishes only the meat and throws the rest away, then leans over me to see what I'm doing.

"Shouldn't read this," I grunt, closing it. "It might help so I brought it, but I don't want you going through it, understand?" I look up at him and he twists his face in something I can't quite parse.

Tohru grumbles a few words and then wraps his arms around my neck and leans down. "I won't," he tells me. "You need to go over it right now, though?"

"No," sadly admit. "I know every detail already."

_I barely catch it—_

" _Mine_ the new case you can't let go of?" he mumbles, with his forehead burrowed into my shoulder.

_But he definitely says these exact words._

_—They sting._

_Because they're true._

I clear my throat and slide the folder away. "Tohru," I speak. "You know how I am. I will always wonder where I went wrong."

_Because I didn’t figure out that it was you—The person I was closest to—_

_Which is probably what clouded my reasoning, but—_

" _You_ didn't," he asserts. "And the answers definitely aren't in _there_.” He points to the closed file and then to himself. “They're in _here_." Tohru taps the top of his own head and heaves a sigh. "Is that what it's going to take to get you to stop obsessing over it? Cause I _am_ ready to move on."

I turn my head toward him and try to say it gently. "I want to know. Please tell me what happened."

"If we're already trading sob stories this weekend..." he mutters.

I lean back to drape an arm around him. "We'll have it all out on Saturday," I state. "It'll be _terrible_ —Really shit. Then after we'll drive to Okina for dinner. How's that?"

"Yeah?" he hopefully questions, turning his head so he can meet my eyes.

I nod. "You're going to _hate_ it," I chuckle. “I have a lot of questions.”

He shrugs and leans forward to kiss me. I smile when I pull away.

"Alright. I want to prep," I say. "So let me reread the packets, at least."

Tohru nods and takes a seat. I check everything and review my notes on his terms of release while we wait.

It isn't long until there is a knock at the door. I stand to answer it, but Teddie bounds into the room, claiming it’s his duty to answer the door. _I did ask for his opinion..._

"Hello!" Teddie greets the man.

"Hello," the stranger returns the gesture, squinting slightly.

"I'm Kuma!" he says.

The man doesn't react, only bows politely. "Ito," he replies.

Ito is tall, with slicked-back hair and sharp eyes. He's carrying a briefcase and wearing a suit.

"Mm- _hrmm_!" Teddie emotes. "It's beary nice to meet you~ Are you from around here?"

"Nope," Ito smiles. "Tokyo."

"Really?" I quip. "Same for me."

Ito moves into the kitchen and Teddie motions from behind him, wiggling his fingers in the air and dramatically sniffing around. He points at himself and then Tohru, who moans and lays his head on the table.

"Bad day?" the man questions and Tohru sits back up. "You're Adachi-san, yes?"

Tohru nods and dips his head in a curt bow. "Yes, hello."

"And who's Mr. Tokyo?" Ito smiles amiably.

"I'm Dojima," I tell him. "I was Adachi's partner and am now his volunteer."

Ito nods appraisingly. "You worked on his case and now you're his volunteer?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

" _Yes,_ " I reply. "We're close, but professional about it all."

I see Tohru perk up and I step on his foot. "Yep~" he smiles anyhow. "Best friend I could've asked for!"

"Touching." Ito rolls his eyes and opens his briefcase to take out a laptop. "I'd say that he doesn't need to be here for this, but you're also staying at the Dojima residence, yes?"

Tohru nods. " _He_ can go though." He quickly waves to Teddie, who tries to motion one last time before slipping back into the store. "I have no family, so I'm glad they took me in. It can be hard for ex-cons to find housing."

"And jobs," Ito adds, taking notes. "But Dojima-san informed me that you're working here?"

"Mm-hmm," Tohru replies. "I help with deliveries and stock. I'm also learning how to make yarn."

"Fascinating," Ito says, sounding as though he might mean it. The next question is directed at me. "How is he at home? Acting okay? Not violent or having mood-swings?"

I shake my head and pat Tohru's back. "He's been great, and gets along well with my daughter." _Expect today, but we won't mention that._

_And there was the time I got stabbed and he tried to kill the other ex-con. And the guns he's hiding. And I'm fairly certain he and Kanji are going to come to blows soon._

"Nanako's my favorite~" Tohru adds and Ito laughs a little.

"How is Aizawa-san working out?" Ito tries next.

Tohru grins a little too widely. "He's super!" Tohru gushes.

_Yeah, because you have him all figured out and malleable now._

I try not to roll my eyes. "Aizawa was happy that Tohru made progress last week. He'll be by again tomorrow."

"That's what I have written," Ito acknowledges. "Anything else I can facilitate for you? I would like to get Tatsumi Kanji-san's contact information before I leave."

"Yes," I say. "Do you know why he was released from his conditional sentence? We believe it has to do with a sketchy job offer."

Ito pauses. He looks between Tohru and I, frowning. "I don't know about that, I only saw that the paperwork come through. If it's 'sketchy', I have to suggest you stay away."

"Really?" I ask, stopping to sip my coffee. "It's government-related. You know _nothing_?"

Ito shakes his head. "No. But I discourage anything that could be criminal."

"Good. He won't be taking it, anyhow," I conclude. "Thank you for your time. I'll send Kanji in." Tohru shoots me a look but I ignore it and head into the store.

"Oi, Kanji," I call, coming up behind him while he knits something. "He wants to speak with—"

" _He has shadow!!!_ " Teddie runs in hissing out the words in as silent of a scream as he can manage. "He's off. He has shadow or he's a persona user or _something_! His definitely wrapped up in this, too!!"

I hold up my hand to halt him before the boy crashes into me. "Good. Thank you." I smile down at him, then turn back to Kanji. "Keep your guard up, but you're Tohru's boss, so..."

"Got it," Kanji replies, setting down his project. He walks into the house while I sit at the table with Teddie.

"Did he do okay?" Teddie asks me.

I nod. "I think so. He wasn't trying to get under Ito's skin, at least. Or mine."

"That's good."

"Mmn." I glance around at everything mid-sort. There are fabrics, fibers, dyes, yarn, and string... "What did Tohru do this morning?" I ask Teddie.

"They put stuff away," he replies. "Kanji wrote things down while Tohru called them out and placed them where they belong. And he carried in _all_ the boxes! That usually takes Kanji a lot longer."

Teddie smiles shyly. "I think Kanji felt shown-up because Tohru's stronger... He didn't expect that."

"That guy," I sigh. "Yes. I didn't expect it either. I've been noticing little by little. Did you know he did the most damage during the fight with my shadow? They told me later—I had no idea."

"I can see that," Teddie tells me. "There's more going on than he lets us see."

"That's for sure," I grumble.


	25. Didn’t Expect Any of That (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji makes an inadvertently good move, which settles things for now. Ito’s got a surprise of his own, however. Then Tohru and Kanji bond more, while Kanji remarks that he’s being helpful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kanji apparently might have a little OCD. I was reading up on how he’s always been a neat freak and loves organization.
> 
> Other research I’ve actually done for the current handful of chapters: what parole officers talk about; how to make fabric and yarn from scratch.

Chapter Twenty-Three: Didn’t Expect Any of That

(Kanji)

After I give Ito my phone number and email address, I ask a few questions. _Things like if I have to fill out any forms or something so he can work here. Or evaluations... That kind of stuff._

I'm almost done, when I ask what this guy thinks about the other job—Which I hadn't been told not to ask about.

“So you _don’t_ think he should work with Dojima’s mom?” I ask, pointing my thumb in Tohru’s direction.

“ _No!_ ” Ito shouts. “It’d be a terrible ide—“ Ito stops mid-sentence and his eyes practically pop out of his head.

“Kanji!” Tohru shouts. “You fucking dumb goon!!”

_What’d I do?!_

Ito shakes his head and tries to backpedal. “Th-that isn’t—“

“ _You_ got him!!” Tohru’s mouth hangs open in surprise.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, can we please—” Ito tries one more time, almost pleading.

But Tohru’s already hollering for Dojima. “Ryoutarou!! _Ryoutarou—_ The idiot did it!” He points to me when Dojima runs back into the room. “He got Ito to slip.”

“What do you mean, slip? I have no idea—”

“Yeah— _Save it, Stupid!_ ” Tohru hisses, leaning over the table to bare his teeth at the guy.

Dojima looks around the room and clears his throat commandingly, which makes Tohru remember to back up. “What exactly happened in here?”

“Kanji got Ito to admit he knows about the job, Ryou,” Tohru tells Dojima. Ito tries to plead his case one more time, but Tohru lunges at him again—feet flying—and yanks him halfway across the table by his shirt. “We have you, _rat_. Can you manifest out here, or will I get to slug you a good one?”

Ito sighs and waves his hand—And a Pyro Jack appears.

“Oh, dammit!” I swear. “ _Another_ of these?!”

Tohru releases Ito with a huff and the man rubs his neck. “What do you mean ‘ _another’_?” he questions.

I receive a scathing look from Tohru. “Uuh… I’ve seen one before. A long time ago,” I nod to myself, attempting to seem like I’m trying to remember.

“Hmm,” Ito hums, unconvinced.

“Liii-ahr,” the pumpkin drones in a dead voice.

We all startle, and I see Dojima reflexively reach for his gun before thinking better of it. Tohru’s eyes flick to the other man and he gives Dojima a few small nods, telling him to get it together.

Ito folds his arms, now thinking he has the advantage. He smirks and waits, raising his eyebrows—Like he thinks Tohru _won’t_ just do whatever he wants.

I have to let out a low laugh— _Tohru listens to nobody._

“What’re you waiting for?” Tohru quips, advancing on the other man around the table this time. “Wanna see my Izanagi?” Ito’s eyes widen for a second. “ _Too bad!_ I need to manifest it under more supervision to get the money. I’m no dummy~”

Dojima steps forward to intervene before Tohru gets too aggressive again. “I don’t believe there’s anything left to say. We’ve some addendums and changes to the contract,” he tells Ito. “Please send it back tomorrow.” He picks up the folder and passes it over.

Ito frowns—Practically _glares_. But he takes the clear file and then Pyro Jack disappears. “I’ll send him with it tomorrow,” he curtly tells us and starts for the door.

Tohru grins at us while Dojima slumps against the counter. “That was nuts!” the older man sighs. “What _was_ that thing?!”

“Another Jack,” Tohru replies, waving him off. “Like mine, but different.”

Dojima glances at me and I nod in agreement. “There are more different personas than you can count,” I add.

He shakes his head and closes his eyes. “Are they always that foreign?”

“Yes,” Tohru laughs as he tells him. “They’re _demons_. They’re not supposed to look natural here.” Tohru stands and walks over to Dojima, grinning. “Wanna see mine again?”

“No thanks!” the other spits. Then he checks his watch. “I need to get back to work. I’ll see you two later.” He gives Tohru an awkwardly cold hug, which makes Tohru pull him into a big hug and I have to chuckle.

“That’s enough,” Dojima snaps, pulling away and collecting his stuff. “Bye,” he says as he puts on his shoes. “I’ll pick you up, later.”

Tohru throws him a thumbs-up and turns to me. “What’s next?”

“We gotta finish the stock before picking up another task. It has to get done so things run smoothly,” I explain.

Tohru huffs. “Didn’t know you were such a neat freak…”

“Someone’s got to keep everything in order!” I walk us back out to the other room, where Ted and my Ma are playing cards.

My mom smiles while Teddie’s eyes pop out. “ _I was working!_ ” he shrieks.

“I asked him to keep me company,” my mom answers.

“It’s fine. Just help out anybody who comes by, okay?” I tell them. They nod and I go back to writing things down while Tohru calls them out.

“You think I could get a job like Kubo?” Tohru questions between bottles of dye.

“Maybe?” I reply. “If he has a regular job, I don’t see why you wouldn’t be able to.”

I make notes of what else to reorder while he dawdles on his next sentence. “But his record was sealed. Mine will stay open—So they’ll all know I was a murderer, as decided in court.”

I sigh. “That’s true. But isn’t it why you’re here? So you can start over and work your way to getting what you want?”

Tohru nods uncertainly. “I appreciate the opportunity, but if I can’t have my old career back, I’d like to at least work on something I enjoy.”

I nod. “I get that. It’s what made me decide to do this.”

“I thought—“ Teddie starts and then makes an “oh” sound.

I groan. _Ma must’ve given him a look._

“No, I didn’t get into college. But that’s okay. I’d still like to teach and I can hold my own classes here.” I turn behind me where the other two are slacking off. “ _If_ we can ever get this room cleaned up and refinished!” Teddie looks guilty while Ma giggles.

“We don’t even have the money to remodel it right now. Give it a little time. You’ve only been working for a couple of years, but you’ve made a real difference,” she scolds.

_I know I’m impatient…_

“What did he do?” Tohru asks, holding out a bottle so I can copy down the product number.

“The biggest improvement is that we serve a wider area,” mom tells him. “Once I had him to make deliveries, we could cut out the middleman while opening earlier and working later. Family businesses have their drawbacks—But those same minuses for some families are boons for others, if everyone is all in.”

I nod. “I don’t mind waking up early to pack the car and drive stuff to another prefecture. They’ll pay a premium if they’re further out, and our work is getting around—Which means more orders with the higher prices.”

“Even I help,” Teddie adds. “I can answer questions on the phone and serve customers while they do the things I can’t.”

“It’s true,” I agree. “We’re all equally important.”

“I see,” Tohru says, a blank look crossing his face.

I snap my fingers tog et his attention. “Look,” I tell him. “You can stay as long as you’d like, but we can’t pay you a lot because we’re right in the middle of saving for the renovations. I told Ojisan and he said it was okay…”

I exhale and glance away. “But I am sorry—If you keep it up like you have today, you deserve better.”

Tohru snorts and glares at me. “Don’t pity me. We’ve been over this.”

“It’s not _pity_ , jackass,” Ma yells over and Tohru still seems surprised when she swears. “If you’re helping, then it’s called being a good boss.”

Teddie tries to stifle his giggling and I shake my head. “I’m just sayin’ you’re actually doing me a favor right now,” I mutter. When I glance up for the next bottle, Tohru’s got his face right up to mine.

“I can be less helpful, if you need _that_ instead~” he tells me, all snide and sneering.

I sigh and shake my head. “How the hell does Ojisan put up with you?” I question, reading the label.

“Same way I put up with him,” Tohru easily replies with a grin.

“You’re both crazy.”

“I’m not arguing,” Tohru shoots back.


	26. Family (Nanako)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanako leaves school to find Teddie AND Tohru waiting for her today. She reflects on how Tohru is and then they talk about their issue and work it out. Everyone heads back to Tatsumi Textiles for the afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every morning that I work on this, I blast “Tomaranai” by Yazawa. I’ve been at it for like three months now. And if my husband’s around but doesn’t yell out the “mukidashite” part with me, I get upset. Husband getting really sick of my shit...

Chapter Twenty-Four: Family

(Nanako)

I don't see Teddie in his usual place, so I start towards the gate. When I pass through the break in the stone wall, I can see him and Tohru sitting down, leaning against it.

"Nanako~" Teddie waves to me, smiling. He jumps up to give me a hug.

I return it, but watch the other man more than Teddie. Tohru is muttering to himself, and has his hands under his sunglasses, pressing against his eyes.

Teddie fidgets uneasily and takes my hand. Then he steps forward and extends the other to Tohru. The latter stares at the outstretched hand uncomprehending until Teddie wiggles his fingers.

"Let's go~" my friend whines, motioning for Tohru to rise.

The older man sighs and uses the wall for support instead of Teddie, who makes a sad noise, but withdraws his hand. I rub the other one with my thumb and shoot him a knowing smile.

"Where to?" Tohru asks us.

I stare at him for a minute— _Really_ looking at him. And I realize how much closer his demeanor is to mine and Teddie's, rather than Dad's.

_And..._

I wonder what he sees in Tohru. _They're nothing alike._

The man walking with the two of us is childish and awkward. He watches me and Teddie as though he doesn't understand why I let Teddie dote on me the way he does. My friend is all smiles and affection while the three of us make our way back to the store, and Tohru studies him with open distrust—

_The way he looks at most people. But especially nicer people._

I sigh.

_I’m still not over our last exchange..._

_But I don't want to stay angry at Tohru-jisan._

Tohru walks a little behind us, his face flat as he glances around. _I can tell he’s nervous to be out and about, but isn’t that what he wanted?_

I let go of Teddie for a minute and smile, letting him get ahead of me so I can speak with Tohru. His face doesn’t change, though I can’t be positive— _Can’t see his eyes because of the sunglasses._

“I was happy about what you did this morning,” I try. His eyebrows turn down and he presses his mouth into a line. “Will you dump everything again if Dad buys more?”

Tohru nods. “ _Yes._ ”

“Thanks,” I tell him.

“It was time,” he quietly replies and then is silent as we walk further.

Tohru scratches the side of his head, nervous. “I told him he needs to listen to you about these things. And that I won’t let him make bad decisions anymore—That we’ll watch each other’s backs and we need to be honest.”

I nod. “That’s good,” I say aloud at the same time the thought buzzes through my head— _Because it is._

He smiles a little takes his hand out of his pocket to pat my shoulder. “I’m glad you told me what you did. It was important.”

When he moves his hand back to his side, I snatch it up. “Well, we’re family now, right?”

His mouth quirks away from the sad smile for a second—changes to something more unsure—but then he replaces it with— _Well, with a fake smile, I think._

“Hey—” I squeeze his hand a few times. “Am I wrong?”

He lets it drop away and a more pained look sets in. “You’re not, but you really want me for family?”

“Yes.” We walk without speaking again while I contemplate the notebook.

Tohru laughs—“I know you read it. You’re _patient_ , but it’s not your top quality,” he smirks. “Are you only saying this because you know what I meant in that last part?”

I have to giggle, too. “I’m no moron—I know what’s coming, and I think it’s what you want. So you should do it. I’d be happy to have you, as long as you stay on your toes.”

He nods in agreement. “I’m trying,” Tohru softly admits.

“That’s what I’m asking. _Think_ before you do things—I know Dad always says the same, but then it gets knocked right out of his own head. He likes to ignore the things he can’t deal with.”

“I know...” Tohru sighs and looks down at our hands. “Sorry I ruined everything before.”

I cock my head to the side. _He doesn’t mean the other day. Not this time._

“I—I _needed_ to say it. At l-least once,” Tohru tells me, trying to yank his hand away. “ _Directly_ tell you. Because it was my fault.”

“Okay,” I tell him and he relaxes. “I’m happy you told me more of the story, too. And I still feel the same. I barely knew what was going on at the time—I just needed to know so that I know.”

I grit my teeth. “I don’t like being the only one in the dark.”

“Ryou didn’t know, either,” Tohru remarks, trying to placate me.

I shake my head. “He at least knew what was on the surface—Even if it was barely half of the story. You obviously know he wouldn’t talk about it with me.”

“I figured,” he quietly confides. “He asked me not to—Right before I got out.”

“Mmn.” _That’s what I thought._ “As long as you’re honest with me, we’ll be fine. I don’t have a lot of family, and I like you.”

Tohru nods slowly and speaks the most quietly and softly I’ve ever heard from him. “I know. I’ll do my best.”

"Good." I smile again and let go of him to catch up with Teddie for the rest of the walk.

At the store, Kanji is warping the programmable loom. "Are you both gonna go pick her up everyday now?" he questions, but he looks happy. _He can tell we're better._

"It’s not like I get any other breaks!" Tohru scoffs. "The Bear and your mom are always playing koi koi like a bunch of old ladies in a park..."

"I'm no old lady," Tatsumi replies, stepping into the back room from the house.

"Sheesh!" Tohru teasingly retorts. "Then don't act like one~"

Tatsumi huffs and shoots him another remark. "Bet I'm younger than your mother."

"Wrong there! You can’t be bec—" he jeers, then goes quiet, as if he can't even open his mouth. We all look at him for a minute before he excuses himself for the bathroom.

"What the heck was that?" Tatsumi questions.

I shake my head. "I don't know," I tell the others. "But I don't think any of his family is living."

Tatsumi sighs. "I didn't know."

"He hasn't said it in so many words," I reply. "It's just a feeling I get."

She nods and "hmm"s while Teddie tries to follow Tohru into the house. Kanji shakes his head. "Nuh- _uh_ , Ted," he orders. "Give him space."

Teddie grumbles but takes a seat. "What about snacks?"

"Just wait, please," Kanji says. "Come take a look at this. We got you learning how to use the manual loom, so I'll let you warp this if you learn how to work it."

My friend grabs a notepad and pencil to take notes. I come up behind them and look on as Kanji explains the functions and how to program the machine.

Tohru eventually comes back, sans sunglasses and eating a Topsicle. _He looks better._

"He got a snack without me?!" Teddie immediately blurts.

"Idiot~" Tohru smirks. "You said they were for me. What—I can't get my own?"

Teddie stares for a minute before nodding. "I can have one, too?" he asks, even though they're _his_.

"I don't see why not," Tohru replies, gesturing to the house.

When Teddie leaves, Tatsumi gives him a look. "Don't trick him like that."

"He'll learn," Tohru apathetically answers.


	27. The Window (Yukiko)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Yukiko and Ryota are friends. She's stuck at her inn often, and he has some off-screen job at the station where Marie works—So a bit of free time on his hands. Plus, he'll jump at another chance to help out. It doesn’t go as smoothly as they hope, though...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do we like Yukiko and Ryota chapters? It seems like the easiest way to include Yukiko is to have her be the spy—Which I do find pretty funny!! And she needs a friend with free time.
> 
> I find it really REALLLLLLY funny to think about the Ex-Velvets sharing a home base outside of Inaba. It could be it's own story... (If you’re unsure, it’s Elizabeth who is the one experimenting on people, per usual.)

 

Chapter Twenty-Five: The Window

(Yukiko)

I see that Ito return to the Inn today looking ragged and angry. He requests a conference room at the front desk and I happily comply, reserving the adjacent room for myself.

I text Ryota to get over here if he has the time.

_He let me know things went well before, that he was even included in planning for the others meeting Ito. And he was very excited that he got to meet Nanako and Teddie._

I get an almost instant reply that he'll take the next train. _Excellent. We can lend a hand, too._

He arrives much quicker than I expected and we have a little time before their reservation starts. "Did you take the train or fly?" I ask Ryota while we raid the kitchen for coffee and wagashi.

"TV then train," he admits, while I stack containers on a tray. "If I can fit, it makes things very easy."

"You _are_ tall," I marvel, looking up.

He grins and laughs. "Tatsumi said I'm taller than Kanji!" he chuckles. "I don't think people have ever seen someone taller than Kanji around here."

"Is that why you dyed your hair?" I ask.

_It doesn't look very good... More of a faded brown than black._

Ryota groans. "Someone stayed for a few days who's friendly with Marie and convinced me that if I dyed my hair black I would stick out less like the sore thumb that I am. After, she told me she was really wondering if it would work on her. _I_ was the lab rat."

I try not to giggle too much.

"She was _something_ —" he grunts. "Apparently she stays every once in a while. Jackass told me I'd look 'more Japanese' and then after she told me: 'Oh, I guess it wouldn't work too well on me, after all.'"

Now I'm in a laughing fit—It takes me until we're back in the hallway to calm down.

We arrive before the people next door and I drop the shade so they can't see us. "We're like spies!" I grin.

"Sounds good to me," Ryota concurs, pouring the coffee.

I unpack mochi and slice youkan. Ryota glances at the food.

"Do spies always eat so fancy?" he jokes.

"They eat whatever they want," I shrug. "They're _spies_."

"Mmn," he nods.

We hear arguing as the people walk into the next room. Then the slam of a door. Ryota gives me a thumbs-up, which I quickly return before sliding my chair closer to the wall. He takes out a notebook and pen, poised to take down anything important.

The first thing we hear is Dojima yell that she can't believe that "the dumb one" tricked Ito. "You're a white-collar criminal! We had to fudge the numbers in order to catch you! You're a human calculator and _he makes yarn_ , for crying out loud!!"

"Kanji," I whisper, trying not to laugh. _Kanji tricked Ito!_

Ryota nods quickly, writing down 'embezzler'.

I tune out Ito's argument and point to the notebook. "How do you know that?" I question.

"A gut feeling," he replies, tapping his pen on the table. "It's the wording she's using. He was likely an accountant, programmer, or lawyer. If they had to fabricate evidence, he knew what he was—"

We quiet as shouting drifts through the wall. "They want _these_ changes—" Ito moans.

"Knew what he was doing," Ryota concludes. "Also means they really need him. _And_ that we have something new on Naichou."

"All right!" I smile, taking a bite of mochi. "This could be easier than I thought."

Ryota pauses and frowns. "There's always the possibility they know we're in here."

"Why would you think—" Before I can finish my sentence, a persona appears to float through the wall!

It’s a Pyro Jack, and glancing slowly back and forth between us with its dead eyes. “Shaa-doh,” it croaks. “Yes.”

We’re too stunned to do anything—Until there’s a knock at the door.

Ryota grimaces and eyes the window. _We're on the second floor._

The knocking comes again, louder this time. "Come out, shadow," Ito tiredly commands. "I can sense you—Jack confirmed it.”

"Go ahead," Ryota groans. "I'll be fine—But _you_ can't manifest out here. Pretend you don't know anything. I was interviewing you for Marie."

I nod, happy he's quick on his feet. When I open the door, Ito appears surprised. "The owner," he murmurs, frowning. There is a dull _whoosh_ ing noise behind me as his persona disappears.

"Yes?" I demand, trying to appear more commanding than I feel. "I can't use a meeting room for my business? And what was that terrible _magic trick_?! You shouldn’t scare guests with such things!!”

"Chairman!!" he shouts, backing up. "I was wrong—"

Then Dojima stalks down the hall, sighing loudly— _Completely unconvinced_. "I'm very sorry to interrupt you," she tries. "But is there anyone else in there with you?"

"Beg your pardon?" I quip. "I'm in a meeting with an acquaintance. He's working on a story for the local news—"

Dojima pushes past me, rolling her eyes, but then stops short. "Who the _hell_ is this?!" she growls in a low voice, staring right at Ryota. _Who looks like the pathetic 'after' shot of a bad makeover—With the hair and blue eyes and how freakishly tall he is._

"Is he the one?" Dojima questions, amazement in her voice as she points at her son's shadow.

Ito tentatively steps forward and studies Ryota before nodding. "That's who I was sensing."

"Hnn," Dojima grunts. "I think we should arrest him."

" _What?!_ " I shout, stepping towards the tall woman. "You can't arrest him for sitting in a confence room!!"

But unfortunately that’s all it takes for skittish Ryota to panic and teleport out the window, like I was afraid he would. I see him helplessly wave and then teleport again, completely out of sight.

"Well that was fucking bizarre," Dojima grunts. "But now we know for sure..."

Ito nods. _They both know he's not from here._

"Amagi Yukiko," Dojima sternly turns to me. "You'd better not leave Inaba. We'll need to ask you some questions." She pulls a case from her jacket pocket, which she flips open to show a badge and card: identifying her as Naichou.

_This is not good..._


	28. Visitors (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The men come home and someone’s inside! It’s obviously Ryota—Who Tohru kicks the crap out of before realizing who it is. Then they discuss what happened and Tohru freaks out. He doesn’t have a healthy way tor respond to stress. He needs to get one... After, Tohru decides it’s high time to get Kubo involved because he’ll definitely be useful, and if he makes more chaos for Naichou, well the better for them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m seventy words short of my self-imposed minimum... But I couldn’t finish the next scene where they call Yukiko and then talk. So I’ll break it up with Tohru’s next chapter with Kubo inside the TV!! It’s not that I like him... He just always gets ignored in stories. And I like having someone in a similar boat as Adachi.
> 
> Because I’m literally halfway through what was supposed to be THIS chapter, I won’t be posting again until Friday night.

Chapter Twenty-Six: Visitors

(Ryoutarou)

We're pulling into the garage when Tohru realizes something isn't right.

"The house—" he angrily tells me. "Someone or some _thing_ 's inside..."

I click the garage door shut anyhow, but he hisses and opens it again. _Thought this would take more time to come out._

"I gave Ryota a key," I confess with a sigh.

"W-what?!" he complains. "Does _everyone_ get a key?"

I roll my eyes. "Why I didn't tell you," I quip, pressing the button once more so the door comes fully down.

"I'm still going inside first," he grumbles, practically jumping out of the vehicle. I sigh and walk around to the entrance.

When Tohru reaches for the lock, the door swings open on its own and he throws me away from himself, kicking out and landing Ryota a solid smash to the knee. The other man curses a few times and buckles to the ground before healing himself.

"If I were human, that would've blown out my knee!" he rages at Tohru, standing again. "You should see who's there first—That’s ridiculous!!”

I pick myself up and groan. "Thanks for throwing me again—I'm getting real sick of this being your reaction to ' _danger_ '!"

Tohru moans and grabs at his head. "I can't take the both of you anymore!! Ryota—Don't scare me! Why wouldn’t you wait outside?! Ryoutarou, if I say I'm going in first, _back the fuck up_!!"

Ryota and I both start to yell again and Tohru glances back and forth because we're talking over each other. " _Shut up!!_ " he howls and we fall silent. " _What's_ gone wrong?" he demands from Ryota. “That’s obviously why you’re here.”

" _Ohh_ —Ah—" Ryota guiltily stalls.

"How bad is it?" Tohru tries again.

Ryota moves aside so we can enter the house. " _Bad._ "

Tohru sits at the table and motions for us to join him. Once were all sitting, Tohru and I wait for Ryota to explain his visit. He fidgets while Tohru makes aggravated sounds.

Finally cracking, Ryota babbles more than makes coherent sense. "We were trying to help again and then we were confronted by a demon and his demonic mother and I almost got arrested and I escaped out the window and—"

"Woah!!" Tohru cuts him off. "Start from the freaking beginning! I have no idea what you're talking about. Ryoutarou?" he turns to me.

I shake my head and Ryota starts over. He relates the story, starting with the invitation form Yukiko up to the part where he teleported a few times to get away out of desperation.

"I hadn't considered until after that she was trying to get me worked up so I would slip," he sadly concedes. "I played right into their hands. I'm worried about Yukiko..."

" _You fucking should be!!_ " Tohru harshly rebukes him. "Now we have to go over there and— _Argh!!_ We would've had the upper hand!"

When he's done speaking, Tohru actually smashes his head on the table. Ryota and I jump up, our chairs falling over.

"Tohru— _Goddammit!!_ " I bellow, hauling him back to sitting. "That's not going to help! What is wrong with you??" _I am at the very end of my rope already—_

"I'm fine," he mumbles, a bruise already forming on his forehead.

I turn to Ryota, incapable of words. The other man loudly grumbles, but heals him before righting his chair and sitting again.

"Not what I wanted," Tohru sulks.

I exhale and try that counting thing again. "What _did_ you want?" I ask, managing to sound more strained than wrathful.

Tohru makes a scared noise and puts his head in his hands. " _I don't know_. This is getting out of control and I don't know what to do!"

"Hurting yourself isn't the answer. It does nothing but upset me," I explain, sounding more calm than I feel. I rub Tohru's head while Ryota mouths that he's “fucking bonkers”.

I wave Ryota off and close my eyes before tying again. "We'll think of a plan—Don't react like that."

Tohru suddenly snaps his head up. "What if we outnumbered them?"

"Outnumbered _how_?" I uneasily question.

Tohru glances at Ryota, who looks indecisive for a few seconds before nodding. "But who would want to get involved in all _this_?"

My partner grins crazily and jumps to his feet. "I know _just_ the guy~" he proclaims, taking out his phone and dialing someone. “We’ll have one more we can show off, and he’d be happy to have a any sort of persona again.”

"Hi—" he curtly greets the person on the other end of the line. "Are you near a TV? You want a contracted demon? ...Yeah, it’s not the same, but still fun." There's silence before Tohru tells them to wait few minutes; that he'll send a guide.

Shutting his phone, Tohru calls for Black Frost. The demon silently blinks into the room. "You have any Jack friends who need something to do?" he quizzes the snowman.

"Ho yes!" is quickly replies. "Was waiting for friend to ask, hoo~"

"Remember Kubo?" Tohru asks it and I groan. He shows the demon a picture on his phone and it nods, twirling through the air. "Get your friend and meet me in my Hideout with Kubo. Take him there for me, okay?"

The thing bobs through the air smiling. " _Hee~_ " it giggles and disappears.

"I'll be back in a bit," Tohru tells us before running upstairs.

"Kubo..." Ryota muses. "Didn't he _kill_ you?"

I sigh and rub the bridge of my nose. " _Yes. Yes he did._ "


	29. Co-Op Engaged (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru and Kubo come to a mutually beneficial agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Check out ribbonsandcorpses art for Mukidashite!! She drew up sketches of a couple of scenes for fun and it’s THE BEST!!!](http://ribbonsandcorpses.tumblr.com/post/163227019533/these-are-v-sketchy-n-bad-but-anyways-this-is)

 

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Co-Op Engaged

(Tohru)

Upstairs, I take down my television and jump inside, making sure I have a clear picture of the house in my head.

_I should really expand it. In case we ever need to hide out._

I take a seat on the couch in my usual spot, and cross my legs. _He'll bite. He wants a persona—Doesn’t want to be weak or left out._

_The kids took care of his shadow for him. If he agrees, Naichou can work him till he can summon—I don't give a shit, but I doubt it'll be an easy negotiation if he can’t even summon inside the TV World._

_So I need to give him a leg up. A contract like my own._

_This is the one thing I'm good at... Need to own it._

I pick at the couch for a few minutes, wondering when the others will show. I stop when I hear a loud _boosh_.

_—what the fuck?!_

Something appears to blink through the door, and it's swinging around a goddamn switchblade!

"Yaah! Fuck!!" I scream, scrambling to my feet and holding a pillow in front of me. It thankfully stops short, letting the blade drop to its side.

"Hoh hoh hoh!!" it cackles. "You're Friend, yeah?" It's a skeleton maybe four feet tall and dressed in a way I can only describe as _dapper_. If not for the screaming skull of a face, I'd think he was a confused child.

I drop the pillow and fold my arms. "What the hell kinda Jack are _you_?!" I demand.

He flicks his knife in and out of its sheath. "Ripper. Like 'Jack the Ripper'—I'm what everyone's rumor-mongering created. From the Collective Unconsious—They needed something to blame those murders on. I've got the drive to back it up, too."

I nod appraisingly— _Happy I spent time reading up on this shit. I know more of the terms, unlike the rest of the idiots who still call everything a 'shadow'._

"Let me see that," I demand of the new Jack, jumping off the couch and extending my hand.

"Only if I can cut you," he smartly replies, his orby eyes narrowing in a mean way.

I raise an eyebrow, considering, when my own Frost tumbles through the air, flickering into the room with Kubo trailing behind him. "Hoo~" he calls out. "Don't let him, Friend. Has disease."

I glare at Jack Ripper and return to my arms-folded stance. The short demon turns his own nasty look on mine and I roll my eyes.

"Wh-what's this all about?" Kubo asks, rubbing his arm in a nervous manner. "Is that mine?"

"If you accept my contract, that is," Jack Ripper quickly retorts. "Shall we slash out the details?"

Kubo shoots me anxious look and I agree to go over it with him. The three of us sit around the kotatsu while my snowman float around the room, poking it's head into different crevices where things don't quite meet.

"Like that Jack, you can't unsummon me," Jack Ripper states. "That's non-negotiable. All Jacks require this so that we may work behind the scenes as separate parties."

"It's a pain in the ass," I concede. "But he's been more help than harm—Except for you _killing_ my partner..." Kubo rolls his eyes but I think he feels remorse. It's why he's helped me out before. _Good. I can use that._

I sigh and watch my own little pile of trouble still flying around as if he's never been here before. "They also tell whatever version of the truth serves them, or makes the most literal sense. It's a freaking toss up, which has also bitten me back. Make sure to word your questions _carefully_ , okay?"

Kubo nods, glancing at his new pal. "What do _you_ get out of this?" he asks in a defensive tone.

"To roam the human realm," Ripper bluntly tells us. "Jacks can only be called in during a crisis or through contract. More and more of us are getting pulled in and I'm glinting at the opportunity."

Kubo shrugs. "I'm in. This has all been too boring. I want that power back—That feeling I can be more than myself."

Ripper extends his free hand to shake on it, but I tell him to back off. "First I need to tell you what _I_ need from _you_." We study each other carefully. "There's no such thing as a free demon banquet."

"Hah!" Kubo laughs. "Hahaha!! I've got you. I wouldn't expect niceties from someone like yourself."

"Yeah," I reply. "We get each other, huh?" When Kubo laughs, I start to explain the deal I've been offered. "And one of our friends has gotten into some trouble with the Naichou bitch and the new Jack's henchman. Actually—You know that Amagi girl, don't you? It's her, and we'd like to get her off while earning you a deal of your own. But you'd need to prove you have what they're calling 'the potential', which you can do by showing off this nutcase." I jab my thumb in Ripper's direction and he swings his blade me.

"If you cut me, I get to hold it," I sneer back. "A deal is a deal." It nods thoughtfully, flicking the thing around some more.

I turn back to Kubo. "So if you don't want to help out with Naicho—and make an obscene amount of money—I'll need to eject you and try _another_ shady, power-lusting idiot who lives paycheck-to-paycheck."

Kubo's mouth quirks up in an unsavory manner. "Are you so different?" he scoffs— _Challenges._

"Nope~" I grin. "It's why I asked _you_. But—And I promise this very literally." I point my finger at him, cocking my thumb like a gun. "If you ever hurt my family again, I will tear you limb from limb. And no persona, shadow, demon, or god will be able to help you."

"Hah!" he jeers. "As if those normies would really see you like that! _A convicted murderer really living with police!!_ " he breaks off cackling, like it's the funniest thing he's ever heard of.

I can feel myself scowling now—

"You'll watch it," I warn him in a low voice. And when Kubo settles down I can see him jump at my change in demeanor. "At least half of Inaba knows by now—The cop and I are in very close relationship, and you'll respect that or this won't work. And if it _doesn’t_ —"

I raise my eyebrows and smirk as evilly as I can. "Then maybe one day during your pathetic little existence, you'll just disappear. And no one will ever be able to find you."

"Cut the bullshit," Kubo sighs and rolls his eyes. "I'm in." Then he looks away and mutters—"At least you have _somebody_."

"Don't get all sappy and depressing!" I huff. "We're going to be in close contact. You and I will at least be friendly." I huff. “I did invite you over.”

"Okay, yeah..."

"Plus it'll be better to have a bit of an alliance, you catch? Cause trust me—This crap's _entrenched deep_. And I have the connections you'll need."

Kubo grunts out another laugh. "Oh really?"

"If you don't trust me, you'll regret it~"

After one more mocking look, Kubo holds out his hand to his newest ally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a list of goals for my next off-posting period. I wanna drag in more P3, but played it so long ago I can't remember the characters too well... I read on the SMT wiki that there's an interaction between Doujima and Kurosawa (who I've been wanting to pull in) which sounds cool. I really wanna get Mitsuru, Aki and Junpei... It's funny; I didn't particularly care for Junpei during the game, but then he grew on me as time passed and I reflected on his character. I also want Naoto, but I don't think I have a super good handle on her, either.
> 
> My husband has also asked me to rework and start posting Embracing Madness... A crossover I started like two years ago and never finished. It’s a really fucked story where I tried to interweave canon from both HagaRen and Soul Eater. So if you’re into those series, please look forward to a piece of ploty/trashy crap that combines both with militant attention paid to canon events. Can hopefully start posting this after my break, too.


	30. Drawing Conclusions (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryoutarou and Ryota fill in the rest of the missing blanks by working together, then hear people upstairs. It’s the other four coming back from inside the TV. Ryota accuses Tohru of going back in after Marie told him not to, to which he replies that he does what he has to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m slightly worried I’m veering into the ridiculous again for comedy’s sake. Just remember it’s on everyone to reign me in if it’s too stupid~
> 
> I also had two ideas last night!!! One is an EXTREMELY cliché plot twist that I really wanna do because fun. But if people hate clichés... Then it may not be fun. I’ve got a few more chapters before it’ll come up. So if you’re concerned you’re gonna groan too much, lemme know.
> 
> Lastly, it could be the lack of sleep talking, but I had what I think is THE BEST idea. I was dumping onsen bath powder into my tub and I was like “SHIT! HOT SPRINGS! It’s like dinner when the showdown starts—I bet Ryota and Kubo will miss the last trains. EVERYONE SHOULD STAY AT THE INN OMG.” I skipped ahead to write parts of it and it’s suitably awkward and cringey and funny (to me at least). So look forward to it~

 

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Drawing Conclusions

(Ryoutarou)

Left to our own devices, Ryota and I decide Yukiko had better play dumb. I dial the front desk to the Amagi Inn and ask for her. She picks up, sounding anxious.

"Hi," I say. "It's Dojima. Are you free?"

"Yes," she tells me. “But only for a minute”

"Alright. Two words for you: _play stupid_. Pretend that you don't know anything about Ryota. Him working on a story will check out with Marie—We've already made sure."

"Mmn," she sighs. "I'm glad. Tell him I deleted all of our texts and his number. Have him resend it after this is over. Has he told you the information we found out?"

I shake my head. "No. Is it good news?"

"Yes and no," she cryptically replies. "Just have him explain. I need to go."

"Of course," I tell her and hang up. Then I turn to Ryota and sigh. "Yukiko asked that you resend your contact information after this is done with. She's already started with the plan—She's got more brains than she lets on sometimes."

Ryota laughs. "Yes. It was a good plan—But I forgot he could sense me too, until it was too late... My fault," he groans. "I wanted to help, but instead I just got her into trouble."

"No," I tell him, shaking my head. "In the long-run this won't mean anything. You should know that Yukiko won't hold it against you—Oh, and what's this other piece of information she said you can tell me?"

"Oh! Yes—" Ryota straightens up, remembering. "Ito was pulled into this even more aggressively than Adachi. We heard them admit to a false conviction!! We don't know how or why Ito is a persona user, but something _big_ must have happened..."

"Hnn," I breathe. "Interesting... We can definitely use that.”

"Sounded like embezzlement or book cooking. They couldn’t catch him legally, so they fabricated evidence." Ryota pulls out a notebook and shows me the parts he took down. "I bet we could find a trace if we look hard enough, but that's not the most important part."

I nod in agreement. "The most important part is how desperate they are for links."

"Naichou's known for creating mountains out of molehills. The need results—" Ryota starts.

I pick up the thread. "And now that they have Namatame, they're slightly less desperate because they know Tohru's more dangerous and less likely to cooperate."

"And they incorrectly chose your mother for the job not _just_ for her credentials—But also her perceived closeness to Adachi. They thought she could net him easier.”

We both groan.

"This is warped."

"Yup."

I stand to make coffee, but then hear multiple set of footsteps upstairs. Ryota and I glance at each other, and then he also rises, raising his hand to summon Yamantaka—And the terrifying god appears in my living room.

I can't do that, so I pull out my gun and undo the safety. _It'll have to do._

We wait.

And wait and wait and wait—

But there is no more noise.

_The footsteps have stopped..._

I motion Ryota to follow me up the stairs. I creep to Tohru's room, while Royta conceals himself in the bathroom. I signal him and throw the door open!

To find the morons—Tohru, Kubo, and some kid—sitting on the futon with games scattered around them. Black Daruma floats through the air nearby, watching with interest.

"What the hell!" I growl, holstering my gun. "You couldn't let us know that you're back? We were worried something else came out of the TV!!"

"We?" Kubo asks, confused—Then screams when Ryota comes up behind me and pushes me into the cramped bedroom.

"Oh the big guy's a shadow!!" the kid laughs, finding it funnier than it is.

I frown. "Who's the kid?"

"Kid?!" Ryota breathes. " _No way!_ He's a powerful demon..."

"Hoh hoh!!" it bellows in a voice that _is_ incredibly deep for such a tiny body. "I do rely on humans believing this is a mere costume."

It narrows its eyes at us and I gulp, reflexively backing into Ryota. He puts his hand on my shoulder to steady me. _A mask wouldn't be able to do that—_

When I'm back to myself, I take charge once again, "All right!" I clap my hands a few times and groan. "Party's over. We need to go to the inn..."

Kubo turns to Tohru and fidgets with a game box. "Do you think she remembers me?" he quietly asks.

"Ooh you'd better hope not~" Tohru scoffs. "You were a grade-A _stalker_!!"

Ryota's grip tightens on my shoulder and I push him away. "H-he was?" the man demands.

"I didn't know that," I add.

Tohru rolls his eyes. "Well duh! They barley spoke and he kept telling her he was in love with her!"

Kubo's glowering and tuning red when I notice a clicking noise behind me. I sigh and take out my own cell phone. "Use mine," I tiredly instruct Ryota as I pass it behind myself. "You don't know each other, remember?"

"Oh good!" he remarks. "Real buttons!! Hey—Did you that on the newer phones you only press letters once? Marie said she couldn't be bothe— _Adachi_." Ryota pauses; eyes wide. "Did you go inside the TV?"

"I do what I have to," Tohru quips, his eyes shifting to me. " _I do what I have to._ "

"Come on," I tiredly order, filing that away to discuss later. "Everyone to the car. Demons conceal yourselves until they call for you... That's the drill, right?" Kubo rises, pocketing some small game Tohru hands him.

Ryota's still practically burning a hole through Tohru, who refuses to look at anyone but me as he stands and walks through the door. I follow behind him, shrugging at Ryota.

The two demons vanish and Tohru leads everyone to the garage. I grab my keys and take my phone back to message Kanji, then pass it to Ryota again because it’s still buzzing.


	31. Future Plans (Teddie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddie and Nanako find out that they’re on their own again and decide to eat by the riverbank. Then Teddie takes her back to town to show her a project he's been working on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the English version of the Animation, Adachi gets called “Lame Cop”. I can’t remember who said it now, but I think it was Yosuke... I can also see Aika making a joke like that, so I stuck it in. I feel as though the two of them probably saw a lot of each other—You see him ordering food a few times, and I have that he got a lot of takeout (mentioned in Kazoku and Watakushi).
> 
> I can’t remember what Daidara’s English voice sounds like, but I always seem to imagine him with a voice like Jet from Cowboy Bebop.

 

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Future Plans

(Teddie)

When Nana and I are waking to her house, she receives a text that makes her stop short. She quickly types back and pockets her phone, sighing.

"What is it?" I ask, swinging our arms around.

"We're on our own for dinner again. Tohru-jisan said that something apparently came up and they won't be back."

I hum, thinking about what we should do. "Should we go back to buy food or order?"

Nanako laughs. "Let's order. We haven't done that since last weekend. I think we deserve it!" She smiles after, but I know she's still frustrated

"Yum!!" I excitedly agree, and I see her expression turn more genuine—Which makes me grin back. "Don't worry!" I assure her. "We'll have fun."

"Of course," she agrees, squeezing my hand. "I don't doubt it... I just wanted to fight with Dad and get it over with."

I laugh before I can think better of it, and she turns to me surprised. "I've never seen you fight before!" I shriek, unable to stop giggling. "It just feels funny~"

Nana sighs. "Yes, okay. I can understand that."

"Hey!" I interrupt her bad mood with a good idea. "Let's go out instead! We can order food to the riverbank and it'll be like a picnic~"

"It is summer," Nana shrugs. "It'll be light out late. Alright. Let's call Aiya's and head straight there." I tell her what I want and she orders the food on her phone. "We haven't done this all summer," she finally laughs.

"I know! It'll be super-special. We can have more fun than everyone else!!" I shout, running ahead a little to tumble down the steep hill, holding my bag out to the side so my stuff won’t get squished.

At the bottom, I jump up and start to collect stones to skip. Nanako slides down the hill and lands nearby, and I feel bad when I realize we should’ve gone home so she can change.

“If you want,” I start. “I can wait for the food while you go change. So your clothes don’t get dirty!”

She laughs. “It’s fine—I’m careful.”

I hand Nanako some of the stones and we see whose can get farthest. When the pile is almost empty, we can hear a moped idling up by the street.

“Delivery!” Aika calls, looking down at us.

We wave and she brings the food down. “Thanks~” I tell her, trying to hand her the money.

“Nn-nn,” she replies, handing us chopsticks to go with out bowls. “This one’s on me. Things have been rough for you.” Her gaze flicks to Nana when she says that last part. “I hope you enjoy.”

When she turns to leave, Nanako asks her to wait. “What do you know, Aika?” she questions the other girl.

Aika shrugs and turns back around. “I know things have been tough with Lame Cop around town. Tell him to stop by if he wants.” With that, she walks back to her bike and takes off.

Nanako looks at me and raises her eyebrows. I shake my head—But then remember the tea.

“Ooh...” I breathe. “People aren’t being nice to Tohru. I wasn’t there for any of it, but they were talking about it... Kanji had to go get him a new tea and he was telling Kanji that people at Junes were walking away from Dojima...”

Nanako sighs and starts to eat. “Things have been hard, but not just because of that. We’ve also had a few fights of our own—You and I were mostly left out, but I know it’s taxing on everyone to fight—And it can make them cranky,” she giggles at that last part.

I nod in agreement while I slurp my noodles. We lapse into silence while we continue to eat. Sometimes, it’s nice just to be together.

We watch the water and it’s nice and calm. I like the river—It makes me feel peaceful.

My cellphone rings and I pick it up, setting down my large bowl of ramen. “Hello~” I ask.

“Hey Bear,” Kanji sighs. “Not only are you on your own for dinner, but they think this is going to take a few hours. Get to bed on time, okay?”

“Mm-hmm!” I tell Kanji and hang up.

I start to go back to the food, when my phone rings again. “Hello~~”

“Ted!” Kanji groans. “I wasn’t done!! You guys can stay at either house, but you know the rules. Text me to let me know, okay? I expect you on-time tomorrow, like usual. I’ll be on—” he stops speaking to yawn. “—O-on time!”

“Okay!” I reply and hang up again. “We’re on our own again!” I excitedly tell Nana. “Like we’re the adults~”

She laughs and rolls her eyes. “Sometimes I wonder,” she tells me.

“Hey Nana!” I remember. She looks over at me questioningly. “I have a surprise,” I carefully admit. “It’s not done yet, but I can show you.”

“Okay!” Nanako agrees. “Where is it?”

“In town,” I say. “Should we bring the dishes back with us?”

“Mmn... I think leaving them by the road is better. Aika always comes back later—Don’t want to mess her up!”

I laugh at that. _It’s true._

I put the lid back on and the chopsticks on top, waiting for Nana to finish her food. After, we leave them by the top of the stairs and walk back to the Shopping District. “So where are we going?” she asks me.

“Daidara’s!” I grin. “We’ve been working on it for a few months. He’s been showing me what to do and I come by whenever I’m free~”

The Metalworks is closed for the day, so I lead us to the back and use the key Daidara gave me to get inside. “Ojiisan!!” I call out. “Ojiisan, Teddie’s here! With Nana!! To show her the t-h-i-n-g!”

After a minute, we can hear him coming down the stairs. “Teddie,” he sighs, walking into sight. “It’s ‘oj _i_ san’. There’s only one ‘i’—The word for uncle.”

Nanako giggles. “’Ojiisan’ is a little rude,” she tells me, covering her mouth so she doesn’t look rude, too. “It’s for _really_ old men...”

I smile. “I’ll get it eventually~”

“I know,” Daidara grins back. “So the thing we’ve been building? You wanna show her?”

I nod quickly and lead us through the back door again. In the yard, I skip over to the second workshop—This one has a big bench and loads of woodworking tools. I use another of the keys and realize I have a lot of keys, now. _I also have one of Shiroku’s for when I help with clean up when she’s short-staffed, one for Rise’s grandma’s house in case she needs help, my new Dojima key, and the keys for the Textile shop and our house. So many people are counting on me!_

I smile at the memories as I open up the second building. I dart inside before the others to turn on the lights and take the tarp off of our project.

“Wow!!” Nana gasps when she sees what’s really starting to look like a small boat.

“It only needs another bench and painting!!” I yell, pulling Nana closer so she can see everything better.

“And sealing,” Daidara sternly prompts me. “Sealing is different, remember? If you want to bring it to the beach, it’ll need both.”

I nod. “Right! So it’ll take a couple more weeks?” I hopefully ask him.

He chuckles. “That should be it. We’ve done a lot of work—You should be proud.” I feel Daidara pat me on the back and I give him a really big smile.

“Thank you for teaching me!” I bow deeply.

He laughs louder at that. “It was fun! Now you know a lot of the different tools, too. It’ll serve you well.”

“But...” _I just realized—_ “When we’re done, can we still hang out?”

“Of course!” Daidara smiles kindly. “We can always make something else. Or I can teach you how to fish from the boat—We should add rod holders...”

“I don’t...” Nanako trails off.

“Nn?” Daidara asks.

She frowns a little, like she’s not sure if she should say anything. “I don’t know if Teddie will like fishing. You have to stay still for a long time.”

“Oh, he’ll be fine,” Daidara assures her. “We talk for hours—Well, he does most’ve the talking, that is.”

Nanako giggles, nodding. “I hope you have fun!”

“ _Huh?!_ ” I blink a few times. “You’re coming, too!!”

“Of course,” Daidara concurs. “That’s what he’s been saying this whole time—This whole thing started because he found a rotting canoe by the riverbank and wanted to fix it up—To go boating with you. I convinced him that a rowboat’s a much better, _more stable_ idea, and we drew up plans...”

He shrugs. “It’s been _work_ ,” he says with a glance at me. “But it’s been worth it. I have so many tools and I love to build... And I’m happy that someone took an interest.”

“Yeah!” I jump in. “Daidara has a big truck and we’re gonna put it in the back and he can fit three people—Him, me, and _you_ ~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been kinda stalled in terms of Nanako/Teddie outings. Masa is constantly yelling at me to send them on more dates... So today he 500% seriously asked me to have them go ride a swan boat (we saw some at the park). I told him that isn’t really likely in the middle of nowhere, but I came up with this instead. I hope the Nanako/Teddie (Masa calls them “NanaKu”) readers are satisfied they at least have PLANS to do something besides sitting around Inaba all day... And that was a surprisingly helpful suggestion!! ;)


	32. Messages vs Minutes (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another car ride that goes poorly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did more research on boat-making (read up on both canoes and rowboats), prison in the US and Japan, and what it’s like in US prison for ex-cops. Surprising statistics read and scary articles read about how organized the inmates are. And ex-cops are usually separated or in “protected populations” and are given fake names (this is not so in my story, but he had his own cell). Haven’t seen any info on this for Japan, so I was making it up as I went along. Happens sometimes with writing.  
> Guys. I wrote up a draft with the cliche plot twist and I like it too much. Sorry... >.<

Chapter Thirty: Messages vs Minutes

(Tohru)

"So people are avoiding us and some dumbass spit in my tea this morning," I finish telling Mitsuo—We agreed on a first-name exchange to make us seem closer.

He laughs in that same shrill cackle he's always had. In stark difference to his deep, sharp voice. _That annoying laugh is going to kill my ears. But it makes him seem scarier—Which is good for us._

"I don't have any of those problems," he tells me with a smirk. "I fit right back in—Helped _so_ much that I was a minor!!"

I turn around to yell at him and see Ryota with that judge-y, disgusted expression still plastered on his face. And he's still _tak-takk_ ing away on Ryoutarou's phone.

"Well you were a _copycat_ ," I spit. "Guess the original gets more notice~"

“Are you two really arguing about who was the better murderer!?” Ryota spits, glowering at me.

I shrug. “Whatever gets me through the day—And Mitsuo, it helps that you moved away. I just _had_ to come right back to Inaba~”

Ryota looks up for a second to grunt a few swears and Kubo chuckles. "Still texting his stupid girlfriend!"

 _Stupid Mitsuo_ doesn't realize that Ryota will— _Annnnnd_ when Mitsuo holds his hand up for a high-five, Ryota flattens his own and jabs him between the ribs with as many fingers as he can fit.

Mitsuo screeches so that loud Ryoutarou has to pull over to the side of the road. "Are you all done, goddammit!!" he hollers at the three of us. "Give me back the phone, you'll waste all of my minutes!"

"That doesn't use—" I start. "Never mind. You have no idea what you're paying for."

Ryoutarou turns his glare on me and I groan. "Nanako told me we have unlimited texting. And no one _calls_ anymore! We don't even need minutes..."

He looks like his head is going to explode. "Tohru— _Shut up._ I need to make calls for work."

Ryota guiltily hands over the phone because he's got no freaking clue either. Just knows his only friend in here is angry.

"Now shut the hell up and let me get us to the damn inn!!" Ryoutarou bellows and pulls back onto the road.

We're silent until there's a buzzing noise. And another. And another. _And he's going bright red again..._

Ryoutarou finally fishes his phone back out of his pocket and hands it to me. " _Deal with this—_ " he cuts himself off, shaking his head. Ryota apologizes from the back and Mitsuo's laughing again.

_On second thought, Mitsuo and Yukiko would've been perfect for each other. All that damn screechy laughter. Would've been hell for everyone else..._

I flip open the phone and scroll through seven—eight—twelve— _Oh my god this bitch needs to get a life!_

Instead of replying, I do press 'call'. When I bring the cell to my ear, Ryoutarou pokes me a few times so that I know I was wrong about phone calls. I squeeze my eyes shut and pray none of the four of us kills each other.

"Hi, Yuki-chan~" I sing, opening my eyes again. _At least this might be fun._

" _Eww_ now it’s Adachi!" she replies and makes a gagging noise. And then bursts into giggles.

_Never mind. I'm really, truly in hell..._

I yank at my hair a few times before I can answer. "Stop texting Ryoutarou’s phone or I'll start reading them!" I shout.

"You can't intimidate me," she evenly replies. "It's nothing I wouldn't say to your faces."

"Just cut it out," I sigh. "Unless you want to explain the difference between minutes and texts..."

"Huh?" Yukiko dumbly intones. "I already told him texts are free! It's in his plan—"

I sigh. "No, to the real one. He doesn't get it yet. I've _tried_ ," I insist.

"Have Ryota explain it to Dojima!" she tells me. "And video the conversation!!"

_That's not a bad idea—It would be funny._

"I'll think about it," I acquiesce. "Now I'm going to hang u—"

"Hi Yuki!" Ryota yells from the back.

"Hiiii Yukiiiii!!" Mitsuo echoes.

Ryoutarou’s muttering a bunch of stuff to himself— _Sounds a lot like a plan to leave us all here because he's the only one with a current license._

"Okay. We'll see you soon. The whole entourage: including your ex, Mitsuo."

"Who's that?" she asks, lost as usual.

_I swear some days I miss the old me._

" _Kubo_ ," I tell her. "That's Kubo' name."

"Wha—" said man in the back moans while the other idiot chortles.

"She forgot who you are! _Again!!_ " Ryota guffaws _exactly like Ryoutarou_ , and it'd be cute if I didn't want to saw him in half.

I groan and hang up the phone, then snap it shut. “No one’s talking to Yuki now. One of you almost got her arrested and the other one would’ve murdered her.”

“I would not—” Mitsuo gripes while Ryota complains that he was just explaining the plan to her.

“I don’t even care right now,” I tell the two of them. “She knows enough and we’ll be there soon. I fucking hope.”

Ryoutarou exhales loudly. “ _Oh believe me—_ I’m driving as fast as is legally allowed. I _do not_ want to get pulled by another officer from around here with two convicted murderers and my double.”

“See?” I hold up my hands. “We’ll be there any minute~”

And then— _Can’t help myself—_

“You know, Ryou,” I start, grinning. “You could always let me drive next time~”

Mitsuo tries to hold in another round of laughter while Ryota groans— _Knows I’m just working him up._ Ryoutarou doesn't even look at me, just shakes his head.

“Tohru?” he eventually asks.

“Mmn?”

“Don’t fucking touch my keys.”


	33. So Quiet (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji hang out with Ryota and Kubo while the other two work things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late posting! My mom had the day off so I worked quickly and scrambled off to spend time with her. Tomorrow will probably be a later posting, as well. I only have the important bits written so far. We’re backing up a few hours to get Tohru’s take~




Chapter Thirty-One: So Quiet

(Kanji)

I arrive at the Amagi Inn first. I find Yukiko and ask what the plan is— _I'm assuming she knows, cause I was just asked to get here._

"Dojima wants you to stay with Ryota and Kubo so they don't—" she breaks off and sighs. "I don't know! Mostly so Kubo doesn't cause trouble. Everyone's concerned. And Adachi got him a demon, so—"

I hold up my hand. "Wait— _A demon?!_ " Yukiko nods. "Like Black Frost? That sounds bad!"

"Mmm," she stalls, looking nervous.

"What?" I ask.

Yukiko sighs. "The Naichou man has one. Pyro Jack..." She takes out her cell to scroll through her messages. "Adachi's plan is to have more of the Jacks... But I don't like Kubo being able to have one outside the TV. It makes me nervous." She scrunches up her face like she's disturbed by this— _And she probably should be. I don't like it, either._

"Okay..." I nod to my friend. "It'll be fine. Where should I go?"

She motions for me to follow her down a hallway. "You three can wait here, if it's alright." Yukiko shows me the room and I nod. "Please have everyone come in through the back so no one sees them—Especially Kubo."

I chuckle and Yukiko rolls her eyes. "I'll have someone bring you all dinner," she smiles before returning to work.

I text Dojima, telling him to park in the back and I'll meet him there. Then I close the door behind myself and make my way over.

When I arrive, the car's already parked and Tohru and Kubo are getting out on the same side, laughing and high-fiving. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth to see them all buddy-buddy.

Ryota comes out next, shooting annoyed looks over the roof of the car at the other two idiots. Dojima is last and he's rubbing his forehead— _Definitely the most angry._

"Oi!" I call to them and everyone walks over. "You two are supposed to come with me," I tell Ryota and Kubo.

"Careful," Tohru opens his eyes wide, smirking at Kubo. "He's still a real tough guy~"

Dojima sighs and grabs Tohru's shoulder, pulling him to the building. "Cut it out."

"Lemme get it out of my system, first!" Tohru whines, then laughs. I can hear them half-arguing as they head inside.

I fold my arms and turn my full attention on the other two. "All right! We're going to hang out in one of the rooms unless they need you."

"They don't trust me?" Ryota demands, taking an argumentative stance with his hands on his hips.

I roll my eyes and point at Kubo who's already wandering off to look around. "It's more for him than you— _But no powers._ Don't act suspicious."

"Ryou gave me a key," Ryota informs me.

I snort. "Half of Inaba has a key. I don't even know why they bother to lock it. He had me make like twenty!"

Ryota laughs at that and I think we're cool. I yell for Kubo, but he doesn't listen. So I drag him to the back entrance by the arm while he grumbles and swears at me, prompting Ryota to crack up.

I show them to the room and take a seat at the table. Kubo sits in a corner near an outlet and takes out his DS. Ryota sits at the table with me but doesn’t say or do anything—He just crosses his legs and fidgets every once in a while.

“Do you wanna talk about all of this?” I ask the guys.

Kubo mutters something and Ryota shrugs. “I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing,” he admits. “Are they going to turn me in?”

“ _What?_ ” I practically shout. “No!” I hold up my hands. “Don’t worry—They’ll make sure it all works out. At least Ojisan will. I don’t know what the hell Tohru’s doing. But that ain't how we treat each other around here."

Ryota nods a few times, but then doesn’t say anything else. _I don’t know what to say to these guys._

I end up deciding to ask about work. I don’t know what Ryota’s been up to around here. "What do you do at the TV Station?" I try.

"Security. I’ve worked two nights so far."

"Uh," I nod. "Okay... I work at—"

"—your family's textile shop," Ryota finishes, smiling weakly at the end.

I lean back a little in the seat. "Yeah. That's about it."

"Hah!" Kubo yelps. "He showed _you_."

"I—" Ryota starts, but then grimaces and glares out the window.

I wave my hand in front of him. "What's up?" I ask.

He still looks pissed, so his answer throws me. "I was trying to show that I paid attention. That's all," he slowly tells me. "I didn't mean to show you up."

I sigh. "Oh okay," I smile at him. "That's cool. If you need anything, let me know."

"Thanks," he nods. "I will."

And then it's absolute silence until Yukiko brings us trays of food herself. She knocks on the jamb and then nudges the door open with her foot. Me and Ryota take the trays from her while Kubo freezes like a stone, which is really damn funny.

We set the food out and Yukiko sits down to eat with us. "Sorry it's a little later than planned," she apologizes.

"S'fine," I tell her around a mouthful of food. "It's so you could eat with us, right?"

"Mm," she replies. "I have to wait until the regular dinner time is over. Afterwards I'll go check in on everything before calling it a night. Oh—" she stops speaking to set down her chopsticks.

"If this takes much longer, you'll miss the last trains. You're all free to use this room, if you'd like," she grins. "Then I'll get to see even more of you."

" _Yes,_ " Kubo practically yells, and we all stare at him for a few seconds until he dramatically coughs and pretends to choke.

I nod to my friend. "That's cool. It'd be fun—I mean, I can just drive home, but—"

"Kan-chan!" Yukiko scolds. "And make your mother worry?" Then she starts giggling, and soon it's a full-blown laughing fit. I roll my eyes.

"I'm in," I tell her and Ryota seconds me.

Yukiko is still laughing when she stands to leave. "Okay, let the other two know and I'll send someone by with an extra futon. This room is technically for four..." She shakes her head as if she's worried, but I know that she's just playing.

Ryota apparently doesn't and he looks super-guilty. "O-oh it's not a problem. If there's a big TV around here I can—"

And then she starts laughing all over again. "Kidding!!" she manages to choke out. "It's not a problem!" She assures us, shutting the door. "I'm kidding!"

 _Ugh. It's like all the progress just went down the drains.._. Ryota's stilling quietly and looking anxious again.

"Hey man," I try and he jumps, turning in my direction. "She’s joking around cause she's your _friend_."

"I just don't want to cause trouble or be a burden for everyone," Ryota tightly confesses. "You don't know me very well and—"

"Augh!" I groan. "If anything, Kubo's the biggest burden!" I point at him and he flips me off. "If the—well if _Ojisan_ —is cool with you, and Yuki-chan too... Then you and I are golden. And you don't know anyone well when you first meet ‘em. Give it time."

He nods thoughtfully after, instead of just being twitchy. So I heave a big sigh and let everyone slip back into silence. _At least it's not as uneasy this time._

My phone dings and it's from Dojima. He says they're cool staying here, too. I take minute to check in on Teddie and Nanako, letting them know we're all going to come home tomorrow.

Around ten, Dojima finally slides open the door. I'm leaning against the wall, reading a magazine while Ryota dozes and Kubo's still playing, but now he’s got his game plugged in to the wall. Dojima takes a seat at the table with the two of us, Ryota blinking a few times and then waking up.

Dojima motions to Kubo first. "Oi. Get over here, I've got your contract. I'll need you both to sign..." Dojima yawns. "Kubo's is the same as Tohru's, minus the stuff about Izanagis." He pages to the end of the packet and points where he should sign. Kubo shrugs and takes the pen right away.

Dojima nods approvingly. "You two are supposed to head there once a month for whatever. I can drive you both... Then other personnel involved may meet you here up to once a week. Sound alright?"

"Sure," Kubo replies. "I get paid the same?"

Shaking his head, Dojima flips to another page. "Slightly less because you don't have a god or—" he strains to read the wording aloud. "—'other malevolent force'. Tohru told me he has another, too. But he'll have to prove that."

Dojima sighs and rubs his face. "Ryota. You've got a bit more freedom, but less pay." The other man nods questioningly. "They want to do a work-up on you in a week, and another in six months. For that, they'll get you papers like Teddie's. After they review everything—in six months—they'll offer you a new deal. If you need to see a doctor you’re supposed to forward all paperwork to this physician—They expect you’ll have ‘visible abnormalities’ and reserve the right to basically shut up anyone trying to publish any—" He points out more words. “‘sensitive information regarding privacy’. You know the drill: they want full claim on whatever they find.”

Ryota agrees without question, and then both contracts are done. Dojima leaves to hand them over and lets us know he’ll bring Tohru back. Says he left the other man to hammer out the last of the details with Ito.

"Kanji," Dojima waves me over as he walks to the door. "Hey, thanks," he tells me. "I didn't know what to expect, but wanted them nearby—But definitely not in there with us." He shakes his head, looking tired. Then he tries to smile and claps me on the shoulder. "I appreciate your help. All of it." With that, he heads off down the hall.

_At least the rest of the night should be fun._


	34. The Cliché Plot Twist (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys get to work figuring everything out and Tohru has an ‘interview’. It’s actually the opposite of an interview—He finds out details he'd forgotten or didn't know. And is given an old photograph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is supposed to be meta and not lazy... But if you think it’s lazy, that’s on you. Just know that I’m smiling anyhow!
> 
> I updated the tags for today’s chapter and the Inn chapters starting tomorrow. I have three so far, but they aren’t complete. I might be night-posting the rest of the week at this rate...
> 
> FYI I've been working on a concept for how I think Namatame's Izanagi would be. We're gonna see it in a future story~

Chapter Thirty-Two: The Cliché Plot Twist

(Tohru)

At the Inn, Ryoutarou leaves me in the lobby to talk with Ito. I sit in a chair and stew. _This is getting to absurd. Trying to one-up the other side is usually more fun._

_I guess it's less fun when you care about the people involved._

I see Ryoutarou come back and he motions me to follow him. We wind up in a meeting room and he whips out the folder and a notebook.

"Give me a list of your assets," is all he says.

"Uh?" I reply, lost.

Ryoutarou sighs. "I'm dealing with the contracts and you're having an interview."

"I need an interview?" I moan. " _What?_ I thought they needed me. Why do I need to do something so stupid..."

He taps his pen on the table over and over and over and—"I don't know."

"Okay," I relent. "Let me think." I shift in my seat while he just sits there tapping.

"I just need to know what you bring to the table," Ryoutarou says. "What's unique about your situation."

"Okay," I nod. I crack my knuckles and list off the things I don't believe others can do— _Or that I at least haven't seen or heard of others being able to do._ "I can manifest my Izanagi out here, I can contract on my own demons, and I also have a fragment of another god in there—Somewhere. It's Ameno-Sagiri: the fog-bringer."

I hum, trying to think of how to describe my Izanagi. _He’s different—They’re all different, but mine is more..._

Ryoutarou interrupts though, frowning. "Really? That's where the fog came from? Another _god_?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "I didn't actually know until the very end."

"I see," he remarks, writing things down.

I hesitate and he notices, looking up at me and raising his eyebrows. "So my Izanagi," I sigh.

"What about it?"

"Well he's _different_ ," I try to explain. "We were all given these— _unique_ —versions of Izanagi. Mine is how he was after he rescued Izanami and was 'covered in the filth of the underworld’," I quote, remembering having to learn all this boring shit about gods.

_Though it is less boring now that I know they’re real._

Ryoutarou’s looking at me funny. So I try again. "He's like, the chaotic Izanagi—Calamity Izanagi! _That's_ it!!"

"Any idea why that's the Izanagi you got?" Ryoutarou asks after writing more things down. He seems more interested than I'd like.

I huff and lay my head on the table. "Because I wanted to do whatever I wanted? Because I _wanted_ chaos? Wanted to turn the tables on everyone?" I ask. " _I don't fucking know!_ " I practically scream.

Coming back to my senses, I unclench my fists and I fold my hands over my head. _Maybe Izanami knew it would be me? Who brought everything so close to the brink?_

"Oi—C'mon," Ryoutarou exhales and pulls at my hands.

_Crazy Tohru gets Dirty Izanagi..._

_Right?_

_Suits me, right?_

"Jokes on them," I mutter. "Mine does the most damage. Acts like he's fucking feral. Fucking aggression makes—"

"Stop it," Ryoutarou's still yanking at my hands and I'm just lost in a loop. "Sorry I asked—We don't really have time to get to into this right now."

"Yeah," I agree, annoyed even though I brought it up. I sit back and ask if there's anything else he needs.

He shakes his head and looks right at me. "You trust me to do this for you?" Ryoutarou questions.

I throw up my hands. "All the notes are yours. You'll do better than I would, apparently."

"I'll take that as a 'yes'."

I nod. "So what do I do?"

"Don't know. Haven't had a job interview in at least twenty years. I'll send her in," he tells me. "I'll be right down the hall with Ito, in another of the conference rooms. If you need me..."

"Okay. It'll be fine~" I try to smile at the end and Ryoutarou rolls his eyes. I tug on his jacket as he walks by and he ruffles my hair. I smack his hand away and he laughs. _It'll be fine._

I sigh when he leaves. _Need my game face. Which is..._

_Fuck—I don't even remember._

When Yuudai walks in and shuts the door, I automatically adopt my old goofy smirk. _Guess it's that one._

The woman frowns at me and I inwardly groan. "Do you want me here or not?"

"This is more of a formality," she replies. "Boxes to check off. But let’s talk because I do have something for you."

I sit up a little straighter. "Oh really? Is it something painful?" I grin, wondering if she’ll smack me.

She throws me a sideways glance before taking a seat across the table. "Depends what you count as painful." Yuudai sets her briefcase down and then scoots her chair in.

"I knew you’d always struck me as familiar, but I didn't bother to pull you out at the roots before the other day. However, now that I know all of this other bull about you and Ryou, I dug deeper... It is surprisingly hard finding anything on a child."

_Don't like that—_

"But because the chaos happened in the station where my nephew et al worked, it was easier."

_What 'it'?_

"That's a hard ordeal to have to go through at such a young age..." She prattles on and my blood turns to ice.

"Wh-what do you _mean_?" I ask, my throat turning dry.

"How much do you remember?" Yuudai abruptly quizzes.

I shake my head. "Only the basics. I..." I take a shaky breath. "I've blocked a lot of it out. My sister was sick and she couldn't get treatment without running the risk of us being sent back home, so she stuck it out, but then it got worse and she died. _Was_ —” I have to pause and collect my thoughts. “She just seemed like she had a really bad cold."

"Pneumonia," Yuudai supplies. "And you two were at a cafe at the time. Someone called the police, fire, emergency—The whole lot of us."

I nod. "Yes. They wouldn't let me go where they were taking her. So I spent a long time at the station. I had trouble saying anything, and couldn't get out who I was."

She returns my nod. "Mmm. Neither of you had identification and it took a few days to sort out. Then you were sent to a group home until your family was found. You don't remember anything else, though?" she prods.

"Everyone seemed so _scary_!" I nervously laugh before I can reign it in. "No one wanted to watch me, so I was shuttled around until they found someone who let me draw for a while."

"You drew until you fell asleep." She smiles knowingly.

I feel my forehead creasing— _Can't help wondering if she was there that day._

"I wasn't there," she snorts. "But I know all about it."

"Because of the fight?" I question. "Two of the cops came to blows because one kept picking on the other." I mime a punch at the side of my face.

"Yes," she sighs. "My nephew was the one to bring you in. No one wanted to babysit, so they dumped you on a trainee. He thought it was hysterical—That bratty boy. He dumped you on someone known to be bad with children."

I shrug. "Didn't bother me any. I just wanted to be left alone."

"You _really_ don't remember?" she grunts. "You were only four or so, and in total shock... But..."

I roll my eyes. "What am I _supposed_ to remember? That I drank tea and drew stupid animals until someone came to take me away? It was all pretty horrible!"

"Dogs," Yuudai reminds me. "You drew dogs."

My eyes widen. "They were _supposed_ to be bears."

"When you're working with someone who has no imagination and you won't communicate what you're trying for, you get dogs. Every time—Trust me. Kid couldn't draw anything else," she laughs.

"Am I supposed to be following this, old lady?" I gibe.

"Watch your mouth. I'll work till I keel over."

I can't hold in the snicker this time and she smiles sharply. "So— _What?_ ” I tiredly ask. “Is there more, or did you just want to piss me off? Because what I did as a child—or how terribly I draw bears—shouldn't mean a lot," I challenge.

"Well," she sighs. "After over an hour of my nephew questioning who you were and where he could drop you, you were shunted off to the other one—And _hooo_! He did not care for the way the way his coworker found it funny he was doing paperwork with an arm around the sleeping kid on his lap. So when my nephew snapped a picture of his "kouhai and the mute", the other one snapped. The moron was giggling about how you must be messed up in the head or something because you wouldn’t talk to anyone. So the other one set you on his chair and punched out his senior. Got cut from the program and had to repeat a year— _Pain in my ass,_ " she grumbles at the end.

She groans and shakes her head. "The kid— _you_ —woke up during the brawl and started screaming your head off—Can’t blame you for that, however. Another officer found the two of them pounding the tar out of each other while a child screamed in the corner and that was it. My nephew was suspended, the other dropped."

"That sucks," I tell her. "But what does this have to do with anything?" I whine, resting my hand on my chin.

"Well because neither thick-skulled idiot can be bothered to remember, I brought the aforementioned photo." Yuudai pauses to take a photograph out of her briefcase and pass it to me.

"Why would you keep it?" I scoff, reaching across the table.

She smugly chuckles as she hands it to me. "My late husband got ahold of the thing and he put it in a photo album—the _last_ photo album—of my son before he moved away."

_I can't move my hand—_

When she says those words, I can't close my fingers and the picture flaps to the table. I can see that it's a Polaroid of a young guy— _definitely him with that angry face_ —trying to write something out while he's got an arm around a small, sleeping kid. Next to the paperwork are some sheets of notebook paper with the drawings.

"Do you want it or not?" Yuudai bluntly demands.

I laugh shakily. " _Give me a minute, damn it!_ Let me process—Whatever the fuck this is—" Now my hands are on my head again and I'm groaning. She shrugs like it isn't a big deal that I just snapped like that.

"Alright." She folds her arms and sits quietly.

After a couple of minutes tick by, I snatch up the photo and slide it into my pocket. "I want it," I confess.

"Okay," she replies—Like we're _not_ talking about the fucking weirdest shit.

Yuudai shrugs. "After personas, nothing is too odd anymore."

"I'm not stupid, you better know," I scoff in reply. She raises her eyebrows. "I know you're bribing me."

"Hnn. You really are a jackass,” she impassively remarks. “We're going to be working together," she reasons. "We'll have to get along well enough."

I nod. "I can do that. I've had to deal with a lot worse."

She actually laughs this time. "Okay,” she concludes and stands. “You want to go see if they figured the details out or are throwing tantrums?”

"Does Ito have a temper?" I ask.

"No. But Ito's very argumentative and Ryou's got temper enough for both."

I stand and stretch. "Wanna pretend we're fighting?" I ask before I can stop myself. I suck in a breath, remembering not to get too comfortable. "I-it would really freak them out~" I add, trying to look more confident than I feel.

I catch Yuudai trying to suppress a smirk as she turns to the door. "I think we're going to get along fine."


	35. The Hot Spring (Kanji)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People always seem to like a bitey-marky Adachi, but most stories (as mentioned before) are one-shots and no one has to deal with the long-term effects of any of it. Kanji’s pretty disgusted—Again. Also I feel pretty dumb for not thinking this would be a noticeable problem until my second pass at this chapter.
> 
> Huh. THAT’S what my story brings to the table: consequences!!
> 
> I already know I won’t have time to post tomorrow. Apologies!

 Chapter Thirty-Three: The Hot Spring

(Kanji)

We obviously all decide to take advantage of the Amagi Inn's main selling point: the hot springs. I asked Yukiko if we could use it by ourselves—I know Dojima's injury makes him self-conscious.

So she gives us a 'reserved' placard to hang outside the entrance to the outdoor bath and I tell her that I’ll handle it. I put it up as we go in, and grab myself some towels. She said there was soap we can use in there, so I don't have to worry about that.

I fold my clothes in a locker and get to scrubbin' at the stools. _It's nice to relax outdoors after all the shit we've been through lately._

I can hear Tohru and Dojima arguing about something and sigh. _Nothing's easy when they're together, huh?_

And now I can hear Ryota getting involved and Kubo's swearing at somebody. I'd better go check it out.

I rinse off and make my way back to the lockers. Everybody's undressed except for Dojima and Tohru's yelling at him to hurry it up cause he wants to go in the water.

"'Sup?" I ask, getting their attention. They all turn to me and I scratch my head, unsure what to actually do about this. "What's the holdup?"

"I—I just want to borrow Ryota's shirt. It'll fit me," Dojima loudly stammers. "Can't—Mine is a dress shirt..."

I sigh. "Don't worry, no one's gonna make fun of you or anything. We all know what you look like, except Kubo."

"I don't give a shit," Kubo adds. "I ain't looking at a bunch of naked _guys_."

Dojima glances at Tohru, who throws up his hands. "Getting in or not? There isn't anything you can do about it right now."

Ryota's eyes are flicking around at everyone—Like he's trying to assess how much of an argument is about to happen.

"Alright," I announce. "I'm getting in with or without the rest of you. _I_ wanna relax." I wave them off and head for the water.

I'm _almost_ to the stairs when I hear Kubo whistle loudly. I groan and turn back around again.

"What did you get mauled by a dog?!" he shouts.

"Dammit, Kubo!" I holler. "That's fucken' rude! Don't pick on people's scars."

" _Those_ are not scars!" he yells back to me.

When I get closer, I see Ryota leaning over to talk to Dojima. "He still do that every time?" Ryota questions his counterpart.

" _Yes,_ " Dojima angrily replies. "And then some."

Tohru jumps up on the bench to get right in the taller man's face. "You got a problem?!" he demands. "You know he’s fine with it!"

Ryota grunts and pushes Tohru backwards. Tohru comically pinwheels his arms but loses his balance anyways. Dojima sighs and catches him with one arm, leaning more in my direction.

And that's when I see what he was so trying to hide. Yesterday—Don't know how I missed the bruises and scratches and— _gross_ —it looks like teeth marks on his chest, shoulders, and neck. _It was kind of dark in there, but..._

I mean, I wasn't really looking for anything specific and I was really pissed. But it looks pretty nasty, now that I'm getting a good look. _Does look like some wild animal mauled him._

Kubo's still openly gawking and Dojima is trying to get dressed again. "They already saw," Tohru bitches. "I wanna go in the onsen!!"

"Go by yourself," Dojima grunts.

"Wh-what the hell happened?" I finally manage to ask.

Dojima groans and Tohru locks on to me. "You got a problem too?!" he challenges.

I shake my head in disbelief. "You _bite_ him?"

"Is that any of your business?"

_Well no, not really..._

"I've always done this," he protests.

Ryota makes an annoyed noise and is examining Dojima. "Yeah, I've got a few scars I'll never be able to explain... Looks like they're in the same spots on both of us. Really got you _good_ that first time." Ryota points to himself, showing Dojima his neck.

Tohru's still glaring at me and I'm already so done with this. I square off with him, but I'm not gonna fight him on a wet floor. _That'd be stupid._

Yeah.

 _Probably_ not gonna fight him in here.

"You didn't want Kanji to see, huh?" I can hear Ryota quietly question Dojima. "Cause he'd worry about you..."

I sigh and push past Tohru. "No shit I'll worry—It's downright abusive!"

"It's _fine_ ," Dojima groans. "Now _everyone_ knows! Can this conversation be over?"

I shift my gaze around at the others, and I'm really uncomfortable. But everyone else seems content to drop it.

_I'll corner Tohru about it at work. Tell him to shape up. Again._

_Is this the second or third time in two days?_

Satisfied we all shut up, Dojima pushes past Ryota and then me to drag Tohru over to the faucets. "You have to shower he before you get in. Otherwise it's rude," he scolds while Tohru's still trying to rush straight for the hot spring.

He eventually lets him go and then Tohru and Kubo start laughing and spraying each other—Acting like a bunch of kids on a class trip. I roll my eyes and don't pay them any attention. Dojima eventually tells them to cut it out because it's ruining relaxing for the rest of us.

Ryota laughs when Dojima yells at Tohru to sit down so he can wash his back. "Just lemme go in the bath~" Tohru whines while Dojima yells that there's no rush.

I've finally cooled off enough that I'm not going to punch Tohru to the floor, so I walk to the water. Ryota silently joins me, and I'm still wondering why he's so damn quiet. "You, uh, been to one of these places before?" I stupidly ask him—Realizing after it's out of my mouth.

_He's only been out here for like a week._

Ryota shakes his head, not seeming bothered. "But I have memories of them. He liked bathhouses in the city."

"I bet he did!" I laugh. _That's a real old man thing._ "We don't have one around here, though. Just the Amagi."

"There's one near where I'm staying, but I don't want to go by myself," Ryota confides. "Plus we have a huge tub. I can really stretch out—It's nice." He smiles to himself as he walks into the boiling water.

I haven't been here in over a year and I'm stoked at the opportunity. _Just wish we weren't all so aggravated. And that it weren't with Kubo..._

The guy's sitting in a corner, all sprawled out like he owns the place. _I never cared for him, and it looks like he's bringing Tohru's maturity down even further. Which ain't great._

Once I'm sitting with my eyes closed, I hear the other two finally walking in. I can hear Dojima groan and yell at Tohru because it looked like he was gonna dive in. _Maybe it'd be nicer without him either._

I sigh and lay the cold facecloth over my eyes. I jump when we hear the door open— _It was supposed to be just us._

"Go away!" Tohru grunts. "Private party— _Can't you read?_ "

"Wait!" Kubo interjects. "Unless it's a woman. Women can come in!"

"Ooh~" I hear Tohru agree. "Yeah that's fine!!"

Ryota sighs. "Don't be crude." I hear Dojima snicker and I take the face cloth off to see what's going on.

Tohru swam over to Kubo and they're waiting expectantly, watching the doorway... And now they're trying to dunk each other. I sigh and move closer to the men. They're talking about the news or something. _Must be nice to have someone who gets you like that._

_My shadow was so far removed from what I'm really like..._

I turn to the entrance when I hear Tohru and Kubo bitching and groaning. _It's Ito._

"Amagi told me I should join you," he haltingly announces, sounding like a kid who knows he's gonna get bullied.

"Okay, _Yuki_ ~" Tohru jeers. _Guess he is gonna get bullied._

Kubo laughs and repeats the man's new nickname. "Yup! You can join us, _Yuki_!"

"Call me Ito," the guy evenly replies.

Tohru and Kubo glance at each other and squish up their faces.

"Nope."

"Nah."

I wait to see what he'll do. He's quiet for a minute, but just ignores them and gets in, too. Ito sits closer to me and the other two and tries to join their conversation.

Tohru glances at the three men uneasily for a minute, and then paddles over, wrapping his arms tightly around Dojima's neck. The older man makes a choking noise and smacks Tohru in the face.

"What?" Dojima demands. "Now that I'm making friends you don't want to be alone over there?"

Tohru grumbles and hangs on tighter. Dojima just sighs and goes back to his conversation. Tohru hangs on to the other man and glares at Ito.

After a few minutes of Dojima struggling to sit down comfortably with Tohru wrapped around him, he finally tries to eject the parasite. "Alright. Get off, you goddamn spider monkey!" Dojima stands, but Tohru's got his legs latched around his stomach and is _not_ letting go.

"No—I'm definitely a _metroid_ ~" Tohru replies and Kubo's cackling again, as if Tohru's lame jokes are actually funny.

"I'll lean against a rock," Dojima threatens. But now it's like Tohru's found a new favorite game, I see his muscles flex as he clings tighter.

I sigh at them and put the facecloth back over my eyes. _I'll be able to hear it play out anyway._

"Don't do that!" I hear Dojima command. "Dammit, Tohru!!"

"Hmm?" the other one innocently hums.

Then there's a loud splash and I take another peek to see that Dojima's fallen over backwards and they're both underwater.

"Gah!!" Tohru shrieks when he resurfaces. "You trying to kill me?!"

Dojima stands and sighs. "Don't be a pain," he complains, sitting against the rock wall near the others. "You're not going to drown—We can all stand."

Kubo is sneaking up behind Tohru to dunk him again, I think. But Dojima's clearly had enough and he yanks Tohru away while kicking the other one square in the chest. Kubo splashes backwards and then Dojima puts Tohru in a headlock until he sits still. Even the other two are laughing at the scene.

I mostly feel beat. _These people are so frigging exhausting._


	36. Sharing a Room (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru social links with Ryota and then Mitsuo. Ryota’s kind of lonely and Tohru hugs him, but not for free. He learned after he hugged Teddie. And, well—It’s more like Mitsuo SLinks Tohru, prompting him to vent a little if he wants. Everyone’s basically getting along by the end of the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more Inn Chapter! Next time RyoX2 bond. That’s what I’m calling them now. Pronounced “Ryo-squared”.
> 
> I’ve written as far as Friday morning and am still trying to figure out who’s viewpoint I want Saturday’s potential blowout to come from~ Doujima was only half-kidding when he said it was gonna be real shit. That’s what he expects, and is probably close to the truth.
> 
> And I hope you’re enjoying the stereotypical-obligatory-anime-vacation part this time! I plan to send most of them and the kids to the beach in the next story. ^^ Y’know... It’s like what, maybe the beginning of August now? Summer doesn’t last forever. (Also ironic because it caught up with the seasons real-time for me O_O)

Chapter Thirty-Four: Sharing a Room

(Tohru)

"Leggo," I grunt at Ryoutarou. He's had me in a headlock for like five minutes. "Lemme go!"

I hear him sigh. "Are you going to act right?"

I growl in response and he chokes me tighter. "Nrr!!" I squeak and he _finally_ lets up, but keeps his arm around me.

"You've got so much energy," Ryoutarou complains. "This should be a nice break."

"I was cooped up all day, what do you expect?" I spit back. "All the talking and work and _ugh_!"

I hear him snort. "So a normal day?" He questions. "That should be a _good_ thing."

I roll my eyes. "Maybe for you! I don't like it so boring..."

"Why?"

"It's not normal to me," I mutter.

He laughs. "You're sulking because you're not having enough near-death experiences?"

"...No." I frown. "It’s—When it's like this I don't know what to do with myself."

"Hnn. I see."

I sigh and splash Ryoutarou. "Of course you don't get it. You love this boring shit. But for me it's..." I trail off, searching for the right word. "It's uncomfortable. Like something bad is about to happen and I'm not preparing."

Ryoutarou pats my shoulder with the hand already there. "We'll have to work you out of that," he quietly tells me.

"It's going to take a lot of work~" I feel myself smirking, so I look over at him— _Let him know it's not going to be easy. Too much time has passed where I've lived this way._

"I know," Ryoutarou softly replies. "But we'll get there. I promise."

I _have_ to laugh at that. "Somebody told me not to 'make promises I don't know if I can keep'."

"Well you shouldn't," he quips and pokes me. "But I'm keeping this one, so you'll just have to believe me."

"Oi," we hear Kanji call. “I’m beat. I’m heading back to the room. Last one out, leave the sign on the front desk.”

We all look around at each other, but no one else moves. "None of you are tired?" he asks, sounding curious.

"We are," Ryoutarou sighs. "Lets go." He tugs me with him as he starts for the stairs.

I groan. "No! This bath never gets cold~"

"We have work, and you have to see Aizawa. We're going."

"Nrr!" I growl but get out and start to towel off. The other guys follow and so we're all in the locker area, changing back into our clothes or those nice yukata. I choose the yukata and carry my clothes in a pile back to the room.

I watch as Ito says goodbye and leaves us for the night. _He got along with Ryoutarou and Ryota. And maybe Kanji—Couldn't get a good read on that._

We roll out the futons in rows: two and three. Mitsuo and I lean against the all to play Pokémon while the others chat for a while. It's calm and nice with the summer breeze blowing in through the open window.

"I'm getting coffee from the vending machine," Ryoutarou tells us, heading for the door.

"I'll come, Ojisan! I want a snack," Kanji adds before politely nods to the rest of us.

I look up from my DS. "Ice cream!" I holler.

"Shh!" Ryoutarou groans. "People are sleeping, moron." Then he turns to Kanji. "You'll not lecture me," he says in a low voice, thinking the rest of us can't hear. The kid glares at me while I roll my eyes.

Kanji huffs and tells Ryoutarou that he's not paying for my ice cream. Kubo seconds the ice cream, also not fronting any money. Only Ryota is silent.

When they leave, Mitsuo and I set up for another battle. "Why's he so quiet?" he asks me, nodding in Ryota's direction.

I shrug and look up. He's staring at me like he's studying me. "W-what?" I stammer—It startles Ryota and he glares. "You need something?"

"No!" he growls back, folding his arms.

"Jeez," I snort. "Sorry, asshole. You looked upset." _Last time I'm fucking nice._

I go back to the game but now I'm realizing how anxious Ryota seems. He almost looks like he's sulking, sitting alone further away from us and peering out the window.

"Aww~" I jeer. "Does somebody need a hug?" Kubo snickers and I give Ryota a goofy smile.

After an awkward pause, he surprises me. " _Can_ I hug you?" Ryota asks, glancing away.

“Oh what the fuck!!" Mitsuo groans. "Worst party ever!"

I roll my eyes. "It's probably your _only_ _party ever_ , so shut up!" Then I glare at Ryota. "And what the freaking hell is wrong with you?!"

He sighs. "I've got way _worse_ memories of you. And I'm quiet because I'm around all these new people. It calms _him_ down—"

Mitsuo makes a gagging noise and leans over to attack for me while I debate what I should do. I slap his hand away and choose my own move.

"Choco pies," I demand.

"Huh?" both question.

I shake my head. "Idiots! I'm saying I want a _whole box_ of choco pies. And if you go back on your word, _you'll get it_." I try to scowl at the confused man, but I really feel like laughing at the absurdity.

"Yeah," Ryota nods a few times. "Alright. That's like what—Five hundred yen?"

I shrug. "I don't know. I haven't bought any in years... Could be five thousand~"

"Deal," Ryota seriously tells me, holding out his hand for a shake.

I lean over to bind the agreement, not bothering to take my eyes off the game again. _Effing Mitsuo's waiting to screw me up me like a goddamn eagle._

Said hand is then used to drag me across the tatami. "...Oww."

Not letting go of the game, I let Ryota wrap one arm around me and pull me to his side. "Another giant," I comment, looking up at his nervous face. "If the fucking bear gets taller than me I'm going to lose it."

"He's close though, isn't he?" Ryota remarks, not turning in my direction.

"There are bears around here?" Mitsuo jolts in surprise.

I sigh. "No. He means Teddie. Does _no one_ know where he got his name?!"

Mitsuo frowns, lost. "That bear costume?"

" _Thank_ freaking hell!!" I exclaim. "If only Kanji and I understood, I'd start wondering if he was some idiot savant..."

After killing Kubo's last party member for the second time in a row, I glance up again. "Okay, let go," I order Ryota. _Don't want him getting too comfortable._

"What?" he complains. "This can't be worth more than two choco pies!"

" _I ain't cheap!!_ " I shout at him—As Kanji opens the door.

He sees me struggling to get away from an aggravated-looking Ryota and shakes his head. "I should've just gone home..."

"What happened?" Ryoutarou demands from behind him. Kanji shoves the door the rest of the way open and Ryoutarou makes a derisive noise.

"What're you two doing!" he asks, sounding more pissed than I expected. Then he throws Mitsuo both containers of ice cream. "Kubo, you can eat two of these?"

"I don't like green tea," he replies, tossing mine back to Ryoutarou.

"Then I'll melt it down the sink." Ryoutarou scowls at me and I roll my eyes. Ryota finally lets go and I tumble toward Mitsuo, who laughs and sticks out his foot to trip me.

I jump to my feet and go snatch the container of ice cream from the sink before it's all soup. "You really mad?" I ask Ryoutarou around a mouthful of mostly-solid deliciousness.

"That was odd," he carefully remarks.

"I got a box of choco pies out of it," I shrug. "And it's not like he really has any friends or anything."

I shove more ice cream in my mouth while I consider what just happened. _I felt kinda bad for him, actually. Even Kanji gets physical attention from Teddie, and probably his mom and Nanako._

_I still can't believe I let the stupid bear have a hug. And I didn't even get anything out of that one..._

Ryoutarou raises his eyebrows, maybe following my train of thought a little. "You've got that look on your face like you're really angry, but also sad," he tells me, slinging an arm around my shoulders.

"He has all these memories of having a family—and me—and I think he's lonely."

"I'd tell you what everyone always tells _me_ about _you_ , but he sort of is your problem..." Ryoutarou sighs, poking me gently for once. "I didn't care for that. Just think about how I feel too, alright?"

I nod, a little bit of guilt creeping up. "How about I just forget how _everyone_ feels?" I grin, hoping to ease the tension.

He swats the back of my head, chuckling. Then he pulls me into a hug. "Don't be a jackass."

"Can you two stop?" Mitsuo scoffs. "Are we gonna go another round or not?"

"I'm going to sleep," Ryoutarou tells us with a yawn. "The rest of you can do whatever the hell you want as long as you're _quiet_." Kanji and Ryota voice their agreement and they all choose futons.

I hold up my DS to show Mitsuo I'm game if he is. "I have Mariokart downloaded, too!"

"Awesome!" he grins back.

I shuffle over to claim my own futon, though I doubt anybody else would dare pick the only one next to Ryoutarou. I lay on my stomach while I wait for him to connect to the server.

"Just because one piece of business is settled doesn't mean you can stay up all night," Ryoutarou tells me. "All five of us have work tomorrow."

Kubo takes the last futon, opposite mine. "I don't~" he whoops.

"Quieter," Ryoutarou scolds him.

I have to laugh while I kick my feet though the air, enjoying just having everyone around. Ryoutarou groans and rests one of his legs on top of mine so I stop. "What?" I huff. "That's not loud..."

"It's distracting," he replies.

And then the horrendous snoring begins. "Ryota must be out," I tell the others.

"What makes you say that?" Ryoutarou grumbles. "You saying _I_ sound like that?"

"Yes," I bluntly admit. "You do."

He sighs and then he's quiet while Mitsuo and I play a few rounds of racing. When we're done, it sounds like everyone's out.

"Mine's gonna die," I tell Mitsuo.

He nods. "You have to go work, too... We can stop for tonight." He reaches over to plug his game in while I walk mine to another charger. "What's it like hanging around Kanji all day? He never struck me as friendly."

"Eeh, he can be. He's surprisingly nice for someone so rough." I lay back down and feel like a kid— _Not that I got to do anything like this as a kid... Talking to a friend in the middle of the night and blowing off work._

_No. It was all work for me._

"He's not just a bitch all the time?" Mitsuo questions. "He always seems mad."

I have to laugh a little. "He's usually mad at _me_. And you're only ever around him when I am. That could explain it."

Mitsuo nods. "Well at least you've got it easy otherwise!"

He smiles at me, but I frown. "What do you mean?"

"You know," he replies. "You don't have to worry about anything. The cop takes care of all of your problems, doesn't he?"

_Well that's—_

"That's not true," I tell him, knowing I sound defensive. "I take care of most of _his_ problems!"

"Really?"

"Yes really!" I grumble. "Before me, he was a workaholic alcoholic who neglected his daughter—"

Mitsuo shakes his head. "But I heard he got you out of jail. He got you that job. You have a place to live—And you've basically got a family. Sounds pretty good to me."

_When you put it like that..._

_But with everything else, Ryoutarou's been coming off the rails._

"Things have been getting rough around town, actually," I choose to confide in him.

"Yeah?" he asks, nudging me to elaborate in an easy way. _As if he doesn’t mind talking it out with me._

I decide to take him up on the opportunity. "Yeah," I agree. "People don't like that I'm back. I expected people looking for small little rebellions, but it's really wearing on Ryou."

Mitsuo nods to me. "I can see that. He seems overprotective."

" _Good_." I can't help grinning in the darkness.

"Well you're a total fucking yandere," Mitsuo snorts.

I cover my mouth so I won't crack up too loudly and wake the three sleepers. "Oh my god!!" I try to say in a whisper, hissing out more laughter. "I _am_ aren't I?"

"What else would you call it?" he practically giggles. "You make a real barfy pair."

Sighing, I fold my arms under the back of my head. "Damn it's nice having someone speak my language..."

"It is," he replies, sounding surprised with himself.


	37. Can’t Fool Your Other Self (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryota wakes up Ryoutarou because Tohru’s having a nightmare and it woke he and Kanji. While Ryoutarou stresses out about Tohru not sleeping well, he and Ryota start to chat. And DAMN Ryota is not pulling the punches, man! He tells the other how it is—Hoping the more reasonable of the men can get the two back on the tracks before one of them gets burned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of a few chapters that’ll be addressing both P4-canon and details from my story surrounding the facets of AdaJima’s constant boundary-testing and codependency. (I've written a LITTLE ahead and the freaking minute Doujima mentions the WORD "boundary" Adachi gets all defensive and aggressive...)
> 
> Yesterday I had an awesome conversation about all of this with reader/commenter/fellow author Milligramme! It was super fun to work out with someone else and I got a lot out of it. Some of the canon-details, like the tie and Adachi bringing Doujima home drunk and settling him were cited by Milligramme as the probable beginning of the boundary-testing and they worked in so well!! I appreciate it! (I had never thought of it like that; had figured Adachi was the initiator of the testing.)
> 
> Please check out their profile if you have time: http://archiveofourown.org/users/Milligramme
> 
> A stupid note about the title: I wanted a trend and have "hot springs" in the title here, too. But this is so harsh and I LOVE it!

Chapter Thirty-Five: Can’t Fool Your Other Self

(Ryoutarou)

I'm woken up by someone shaking me. When I open my eyes it takes a minute to orient myself.

Then I remember where I am and I realize Tohru's whimpering in his sleep, clinging to me and whining. Alarmed, I stuff one of my arms under him and rub his back.

"Thought you'd want to know," Ryota whispers. He has the futon across from me. "Kanji's up too, but he thought I should wake you. Didn't want to intrude."

" _You're all fine,_ " I grunt. "But thanks."

Kanji asks if Tohru's okay and I tell him not to worry. I hear him lay back down, but Ryota watches us, still seeming concerned.

"It's alright," I try to soothe Tohru. I pet the back of his head and keep holding him close. Now that I have an arm underneath him, I can feel that he's shaking.

Ryota looks on. "He still has the nightmares?"

"Yes," I confess. "But he doesn't look terrified when I wake him up these days—At least there's _improvement_."

I sigh, wishing there were more I could do. "You're okay," I softly whisper, but he's still not waking up, just making scared noises.

When I feel somebody rub _my_ head, I shoot an annoyed look over at the futon across from mine. Ryota shrugs. "I know it upsets you," he straightforwardly tells me, retracting his hand. "You alright?"

I flick my eyes back to Tohru before answering. "Yeah," I quietly admit. "It does bother me. But I'll be— _We_ will be fine."

Ryota smiles. "I know." When I roll my eyes he laughs. "I know most of your secrets—If _you_ need someone to talk to, you can call on me." He grins wryly and quotes what I've been telling Tohru. "It's better to get it out."

"I know..." I sigh. "Thank you."

After a few minutes, Tohru's moans get louder. Ryota's laying on his stomach and we're still talking on and off. The others are back to sleeping.

"S-should I wake him?" I nervously ask the other man. "Is he too loud?"

"Kanji?" Ryota sharply calls. "Kubo?" He pauses to listen, but there is no reply and he tells me it's fine.

I sigh. "It's not too much? I feel weird having him like this around everyone," I confide. "I'm know it would upset him if he found out they know."

"No one seems to care," Ryota remarks. "Those are two pretty accepting men. Kanji is your closest friend and Kubo probably gets Adachi, so—"

"Ryota," I interrupt.

He pauses. "What?"

"Don't worry so much," I tell him. "Just call him Tohru. I know that's gotta what I call him in your memories."

Ryota shrugs. "It's alright. _I_ don't want to be too much... Sorry I made you upset earlier," he acknowledges. "I wanted to see if it worked for me. Ada— _Tohru_ made a flippant comment about hugs and I know just touching him calms you down, so I stupidly asked if I could try it... I’ve been nervous around everyone."

"It's _fine_." I shift to keep my arm from falling asleep. "It caught me off guard, is all. I never knew I was jealous like that. But it's weird seeing you two—He's so comfortable around you probably because you're like me, while I had to work hard for this level of intimacy."

Ryota snickers. "He didn't make it too easy, did he?"

"No, definitely _not_ ," I huffily reply.

"You _ah_ —" Ryota clears his throat. "You were angry the other day as well, weren't you? Because I comforted him."

"Mmn," I nod. "I need to work on it."

I groan, hating to admit there's a part of me like this. "He was never so open with other people. I guess... I guess a part of me is sad it isn't just myself anymore. But it's good for him."

"Yes," Ryota agrees with me. "He's growing as a person. It's good, even if it's uncomfortable. _And y'know_ —You're growing, too."

I snort. " _Really?_ " I sarcastically quip.

"Yes really!" he brightens. "You _never_ could have had a night like this five years ago—With _friends_. With Tohru around other people and you being just normal with him."

"Ryou—" he entreats. "Why wouldn't you let anyone in?"

I’m silent, but relent because he already knows the worst of it. "I could never get over the fact that I didn't know of it was pity—That scared me. I was too paranoid."

"But it had been four, then five years..." Ryota raises his eyebrows. "I didn't understand why you were so defensive around people—I couldn't wait to meet someone— _Anyone!_ It was so lonely in there..."

"I was too scared of other people after... I was also afraid they would leave me." I sigh. “Not to mention how everyone acted for the first year or so—Like inviting me anywhere was a fucking act of _charity_ and that I wasn’t allowed to get any better, or even talk about anything besides the accident and the funeral and how if affected Nanako... Wore me down even worse—The feeling that it would be like that forever.”

I shake my head, getting upset. “It was basically _the same_ , you know.” Ryota asks me what was, so I go on. “After I got out of the hospital, everyone in town already knew _all_ about Tohru—Had all these things to say about how awful he is and how they felt bad I was stuck being his partner and how happy they were that he was being treated like shit during the questioning and they—The hoped— _Some said they fucking hoped he’d be killed in prison and_ — _And—_ ” I exhale, trying to calm down and lower my voice.

“Hey,” Ryota tries, patting my shoulder, but suddenly I feel as though I need to get out and get away. _Need to run several kilometers—Need to run a goddamn marathon—_

“I’m fine,” I grunt, slowing my breathing and trying to get my heartrate back down. “It’s...” I shake my head and choke out a nasty laugh. “It was the same thing all over again: all these expectations and how I _should_ be acting and saying and doing. Now everyone avoids me like the plague when Tohru’s in town, but not a single person has dared even mention him in my presence. Suddenly they’re all tight-lipped about what I should be doing—Saying it behind my back instead of to my face.”

Ryota looks like he's thinking for a minute before he speaks again. "So what changed? What made you recently stop worrying about other people so much? You made a comment: being concerned about getting pulled over with Tohru and Kubo in the car, but it felt more as though you were anxious that they would be harassed or that it would make things difficult for them— _More_ difficult," he corrects at the end.

I'm trying to piece together an answer, but then I simply let my thoughts pour out as-is. "Well that's just it. The worst happened, yeah? I'm realizing I don't want to lose Tohru over something so stupid as others' judgments—It isn't even about me anymore. No matter what I worry about how people might treat me, they are _definitely_ treating him worse. I won't let that keep happening."

"Make sure you're helping, though," Ryota wisely tells me. "Cops can't snap at people for being unfriendly to murderers."

I hear myself involuntarily make an angry noise.

"Hey—I'm an honest guy," the other man replies. "You're not going to get any pity from me. I know you don't want it."

"So you really know everything?" I demand, a bitter tone coming on.

Ryota nods. "You think _you're_ uncomfortable with that? I'm going to need years of therapy for things I haven't done—All the unpleasant thoughts I never actually thought..." He grins, oddly enough. "Then there are my constant cravings for cigarettes and the feeling like my body will shut down if I don't have a drink. Those have both multiplied by a thousand since I came to this world."

"Well Tohru dumped all the beer, so... Same boat?"

Ryota laughs. "Not Nanako?"

I glare. "No. I think she guilted him into doing the dirty work."

"Someone had to." He pokes my head and I narrow my eyes at him. _Can't whack him back with my hands busy._ "Take this as an opportunity to be the person she knows you can be. They're both giving you chances to shape up and I know you don't want to lose them—That's why you acted like they should get rid of you—"

Ryota cuts himself off to calm down for a minute. "You're a real asshole, you know. You can't expect a preschooler to take care of herself. Then you kept Tohru at arms' length until you couldn't deal take it all—When everything finally came crashing down, he tried to push _you_ away because of the whole murderer-thing and you got angry at him for it. Even though it was the right thing for him to do."

I shift Tohru on top of me so I have a free hand to punch Ryota in the side of his head. "Yeah— _I know_."

"Wanted to make sure..." He rubs where I bonked him and glares. "Because _none of this_ is on me but I'm still stuck with it."

"Got anything helpful to say?" I quip.

"Well if you're asking," Ryota sarcastically replies, glowering.

I give him a look and hold up my fist again.

He rolls his eyes. "My advice is simple. You need to learn where to draw the line."

"What do you mean?" I question, even though I'm fairly certain I know.

"You'd do whatever he asked." The simplicity of his reply shuts me up, so Ryota pokes me a few times to see if I'm still listening to him. "I see the way you both act so consciously of each other, but you're not doing it right. You want Tohru to be himself, but you're afraid to let him know when he's too much. That isn't healthy—You need to let him know."

"I don't want—"

"You don't want what?" Ryota relentlessly continues. "Treating him like he's the only person who matters isn't going to make him better. Maybe you can fool yourself, but you can't fool me."

Now I'm quiet. And getting angry.

" _Shut up,_ " I finally manage. " _I don't know what else to do_ —"

"Oi!" he sharply whispers. "You two feed into each other in a really bad way. The more desperate you get, the more he's going to be all over you. You need to lock it down and keep it at a reasonable level so that you can both manage your lives."

When I don't speak, Ryota sighs. "This is when you're supposed to either agree or say 'you're not me'."

"G-give me a minute," I reply, trying to figure out which part to even respond to first. "Alright. So it's—It's hard when I don't know what to do."

Tohru's sleeping more peacefully, but I hug him to me. It's about the only thing I _can_ do.

_This is what I need._

_I need him to stay happy and normal and calm and—_

_And good._

"Just set boundaries. _He_ won't."

I grit my teeth.

Ryota sighs in a drawn-out, exasperated manner. “You know you’re shit with boundaries too, _right_ —It’s _not_ just him.”

Ryota snorts a harsh bit of laughter. “You can take your share of the blame, too. You didn’t know how to be normal-nice, so you bought him a tie. He’d take you home drunk because you were a goddamn mess. He’s even settle you in your room, before you started invited him to just drink at your house—And that was when he’d start getting touchy—Which you didn’t want too admit you liked until he went _just_ too far.” He groans derisively before going on. “And then you tried to play it off like you weren’t worth it, when you were really afraid you already counted on him too much.”

I clear my throat, to try and respond, but he doesn’t let me. Ryota continues his tirade.

“But you never discouraged him, just let Tohru think it was his idea like a real coward—Till he had that panic attack—” He makes an agitated noise. “ _And then_ you had to tell him that you loved him so soon after—Shoving any last shard of reason out the window; trying to further bind him to you in a selfish way. Things just spiraled from there...”

_Damn it—_

_I—_

_I know I’m just as much at fault—But I don’t want to hear this._

“Once he knew he had you where _he_ needed you, he’d just do whatever he wanted. I’m not saying he doesn’t love you—Yes, I know what he says about love, but you and I see it mixed in with the other fucked-up feelings swirling in his mind. So, I’m not saying he used you—I don’t actually think that, even if on some level, you still wonder. That’s _my_ conclusion, from the way I’ve seen him act, both here and what I saw before I could get out.”

Ryota scratches his head, looking as though he’s trying to tie up all the loose strands of thought. “But he needed you and _think_ you need him and you both use that against each other, prompting the other to act worse and worse. You let him have too much control and he enjoys how much you’ve let him see that you think you need him—He’s too damn insecure himself. Both of you turds need to get a grip on how much you _actually_ care and stop testing each other all the damn time.”

We lapse into silence again. I think maybe he’s asleep, but the Ryota speaks another time; to check on me.

"Oi," Ryota calls over. "You okay? _Somebody_ needs to tell you."

"I know," I eventually reply. "Kanji has tried, but..."

Ryota grunts. "But you don't listen to anyone—” Ryota groans, sounding exasperated. “Lastly I need to say that you’re both adults. You shouldn’t be acting like you need to be around each other all the damn time. You both have your own lives outside of each other—Well, you _should_. So think on that.”

"Yes," I grudgingly agree. "Alright let's sleep... I have work in the morning."

"You go it," Ryota yawns at the suggestion. "Just remember there are other people around who can help you—Who _want_ to help you."

"I'll try." I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I kick the blanket within reach and pull it up and over Tohru; the way he likes.

I try to relax and drift off. I rub Tohru's back, trying to loosen some of the knots. He sighs but I don't think he's awake.

_Like this he’s so..._

_Peaceful..._

I pinch my eyes shut.

_Looks like I need him to sleep as much as he needs me._


	38. The Way Things Are (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the Inn Chapters! The guys all wake up, eat, and leave. Then Ryoutarou picks the BEST (worst) time to bring up boundaries—Annnnd we’re off! Still bargaining more than compromising... And Ryoutarou should know by now that anything he promises will come back to bite him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m worried I’m going to have to scrap and rewrite the second half of this argument (going to be chapter 39) because Tohru’s getting too aggressive in my current version—Don’t want them escalating things too far. But they might. >.<
> 
> A few people have told me they like the shorter chapters in Kazoku vs the longer chapters from Watakushi. I might be able to double-post today is I can finish the Tohru-Aizawa chapter this afternoon~ (The shorter chapters is why I’ve been able to double-post so often.)

Chapter Thirty-Six: The Way Things Are

(Tohru)

I wake up when an alarm goes off. I moan and reach up to smack Ryoutarou. He shifts and turns it off just as a second one starts up.

I make another noise and he reaches down to rub my head. _Dammit make the blaring stop! That's what I want._

I know the top of my head is what he's going for—But Ryoutarou misses and rubs my face, so I nip his finger.

"Ow!" he grunts, trying to yank it away. I hear someone yawn while other people start to move around the small room. "Gotta get up," Ryoutarou mumbles to me. He starts to take off the blanket and I groan, burying my face in his shirt.

"It's so bright in here!" I say.

I hear effing Ryota laugh. When I still don't move, Ryoutarou sits up. I ended up further down than I usual, with my arms wrapped around his stomach, so I'm bent backwards as he rises.

"Nrr!!" I vocalize.

"C'mon Tohru," Kanji calls, already dressed and looking about ready to rush out the door. "Let's go eat and I'll bring you to work."

I curl up again after Ryoutarou stands. He changes out of the yukata and glances down at me. "He can't," Ryoutarou sighs. "He has Aizawa today—He'll be in late."

"Haha~" I tiredly jeer. "I have the psychiatrist!"

Kanji groans. "You're bragging about your court-mandated murderer-therapy? Classy."

"Oh!" Mitsuo interjects. "I have one of those, too! Sucks, right?"

"We don't _get_ better," I yawn. "Can't fix us~"

Mitsuo 'mmhmm's me and I hear Kanji curse and say something along the lines of ‘this being his life now’. Ryota still seems to find all of us hilarious. _At least I have a new audience._

My gaze flicks over to the gigantic version of Ryoutarou—With his new contacts and his shitty dye job. He catches me staring and gives me a questioning look. I shake my head and drag a pillow over.

"Tohru— _Up_. We need to eat and get going," Ryoutarou commands, nudging me with his socked foot.

I sit up and Mitsuo stifles a laugh. "His hair!!" he screeches and I pat at my head, trying to get it back in place.

"Can't all have flat hair like you, bozo!" I retort.

"It's even easier when it's shorter," Mitsuo grins.

Ryoutarou holds out his hand and I sigh and take it, standing to get my own things together. " _You_ need a haircut," I tell him, looking at his funny bedhead. He dips down and I try to flatten it, but while his hair’s long for him, it’s still too short to work with. I retract my hand to spit on it and he gapes.

" _No_." He backs away. "That's gross."

I shrug and wipe my hand on my— _Dammit where the fuck are my clothes?_

I find them under the futon. I stashed my pants where no one would go through them because I didn’t have anywhere to put the photo where he wouldn't see it. _That shit will make him feel weird. I'm not explaining it unless he finds it..._

When I pull on my pants, Kanji groans. " _What?_ " I ask, whirling around to glare.

"You don't wear underwear?" he questions. "That's... Eww."

I flip him off and buckle my belt. "Glad I don't care what you think~" I put on my shirt and slide into my sneakers. "Ready."

"Then let's check out," Ryoutarou orders. "We all need to get going. I'll drop Kubo and Ryota at the station."

"Fine by me," Kanji nods.

Ryota scratches his neck. "I might hang around for a while. Is that alright?"

Ryoutarou shrugs. "I don't care."

"I still wanna ride to the station!" Mitsuo practically yells, as if we'll leave him if he doesn't let us know immediately.

Ryoutarou nods and we all follow him out of the room and down to the restaurant. Yukiko greets us and says to take any table. The others thank her and I choose an empty table in the corner of the room.

"Set or a la carte?" Ryoutarou asks Kanji. "I haven't be here in years..."

I stare at him, surprised. "You've stayed here before?"

"Yes," he clears his throat. "A long time ago."

When I quickly turn to gauge Ryota's response, I notice he's got his head buried in a menu. "Know what _you_ want?" I quip, pulling it down. He's bright red and I roll my eyes.

"I'd like to go home, now," Ryota meekly tells me.

I raise my eyebrows at him and mutter. "Uh-huh. Shitty-ass liar."

Ryoutarou is shaking his head at the other man. " _Thanks_ —Now _everyone_ can read your thoughts and memories."

"Uhh," Kanji tries to change the subject. "They have sets and they're easier than picking everything out individually. I like the one with the tamagoyaki and mixed rice?"

No one speaks again until someone takes our order. We all get sets except Mitsuo, who wants only steamed rice. "I can't eat anything so early," he qualifies. "My stomach isn't ready for read for food until at least noon..."

After eating, we pay for our food and check out at the front desk. Ryoutarou spends a few minutes chatting with one of Yukiko's family members and then we're off.

We leave Mitsuo at the station and then drive back the our house— _I finally feel like I can start calling it_ _my_ _house, too._

"Tadaima," I say to no one. Ryoutarou chuckles as he walks through the door behind me. "This shouldn't take too long. I'm his first appointment today."

"It'll take as long as you need," Ryoutarou replies, sounding edgy. "I blocked out my morning. Do you want me to go upstairs? Just get me when you're done."

I shrug. "You can stay. I like having you around~" I grin.

"I don't—" he starts but then pauses. "I need to give you your space. I shouldn't have to hear everything."

"But you said—" I frown, confused.

Ryoutarou shakes his head. "You'll tell me when you're ready. It's not my place to make you feel like you have to censor yourself with your doctor. I'm pretty sure that's against the privacy laws."

He starts to retreat, walking straight for the stairs. I zip over and grab the back of Ryoutarou's shirt to stop him. I feel my eyes flicking around. "At least sit with me until he gets here."

_I don't like that his face looks sad—Don't know what the hell’s going on now._

Ryoutarou nods and allows me to pull him over to the couch. I nudge him to sit like a normal person and catch him grimacing. I glare when he finally takes a seat and faces me.

"Okay—What the fucking fuck?" I enunciate, folding my arms. He peers up at me, confused about who the hell knows. "What the fucking fuck is going on?"

"Huh?" he tries, eyes flicking away.

"You heard me." I stay standing, just out of reach so he can't try and pass this off by hugging me or something else stupid. "What's going on?"

Ryoutarou sighs and rubs his face. "Nothing. I only wanted to give you space so you're comfortable wi—"

I groan and he stops, a worried, almost timid expression settling in.

_There he goes again. Those buzzwords!_

"What did I tell you about 'space'? About _handling_ me?" I spit, starting to fume. "Those are all words meant to calm me down and avoid whatever the issue is. So— _Tell me what it is_ ," I demand.

"I was thinking that we should set better boundaries," he tries, coughing awkwardly at the end.

I take a step forward. "I like them the way they are _now_."

"We don't have them now," he carefully tells me, gazing down at his feet.

"Well what boundaries do you want?"

_Still not making eye contact—_

"I think you should have your appointments on your own unless you need me for something specific. I'll wait upstairs or outside."

I don't move, just wait. He glances up and then back down. And then says what's really on his mind.

"I think it's time you stop biting me," Ryoutarou says and we let it hang there in silence for a time.

"That's what _you_ think?" I challenge. "Or that's what Kanji or Ryota thinks?"

He shakes his head. "It's what a lot of people think." Finally meeting my eyes, Ryoutarou looks like he's conflicted. "I want us to have a healthier relationship."

"Are you telling me to stop?"

"I'm _asking_ you to stop." Now he does reach out to pull me over. "We both know I'm not going to _make_ you do anything. I'm done pretending that I ever will."

I sit cross-legged and face Ryoutarou.

_There's gotta be some sort of a compromise..._

"Okay," I relent—A little. "I won't do it anywhere noticeable if you start wearing tee-shirts again."

He makes a pained face and I roll me eyes. "That's not why I—" he abruptly stops speaking and sighs. "Yeah. _Fine_."

I grin. But for only a second—

" _If_ ," Ryoutarou qualifies. "You prove to me that you're over it. Because I don't think _you_ are."

Now it's my turn to be aggravated. "I— _I am..._ " I sit up straighter and narrow my gaze.

Ryoutarou snorts. "Then I want a redo of that night," he tells me. I feel my eyes pop open super wide. "I won't be drunk and you'll be calm."

Sighing, he goes on, rubbing the back of his head. "I want a redo of a lot of things, but I'll settle for this."

"Wha—What _else_ do you want a redo of?!"

_Should I be offended?_

He scratches his arm and considers my question. "It's not just me, right? We rushed a lot of normal, relationship milestones. I wish we could've had those... I wish they were happier moments."

"Like what?" I scoff.

"Well," he starts, looking embarrassed. "Firstly, we started actually seeing each other _after_ we started fooling around. That's kind of a big one... I'm happy I knew how you felt, but it was like we bypassed other things. Soon after I blurted out that I love you and you played dead."

"Then the fist time I asked you to move in, you dumped me," Ryoutarou sighs. "Out of the blue. When I needed you the most. You—" he groans. "You really did it in about the worst possible way.

"The second time, I was afraid you only agreed because you had nowhere else to go—I wanted to at least show you that I still supported you, in a different capacity if that's what you wanted."

"So I tried to give you space when you got here. You got angry if I asked instead of assumed, but I— _I wanted you to_ _decide_ if you still wanted to be with me, not feel like you had to. Then there's the way I asked you about koseki, which is definitely on me, but..."

Ryoutarou sighs. "So yeah," he chokes out. "There are things I wish we could redo, in a better way—Like..." He groans. "Like how I wanted us to start over when you came here. There isn't some big _rush_ —We have each other for as long as— _Well forever, if it's up to me_."

"That's _my_ plan," I quip. "And I've told you how I am. How nothing's ever enough. I don’t want you pushing me away—"

He cuts me off with a sigh. Then he rolls his eyes and opens his arms. "It's going to have to be enough," he says when I hug him. "I don't have much more to give."

"Alright," Ryoutarou finally tells me. "So I'm going upstairs for this and you'll call me when you're finished, unless you need me for something."

"Whatever," I reply, hugging him tighter and leaning him back.

"Cut it out," Ryoutarou warns me, rubbing my back. "I'm leaving the minute I hear the doorbell."

I shift around, getting more comfortable. "Okay."

 _He closes his eyes, probably thinking ‘for a minute’, like he always does._ But soon his hand stills and then I hear the snoring.

_We’re not going backwards. I’m not breaking through all those fortified walls all over again. For a third time._

I slide off the couch, moving my feet first so I can stand. Deciding to wait for Aizawa outside, I quietly open the front door.

_Guess I have something to talk about today..._


	39. Extra Help (Yukiko)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We open on Yukiko reflecting on things. Then she gets an offer of help from Ryota, and he takes over laundry duty for someone out sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On no jeez!! Whenever I start any character reflecting it has a tendency to get super moody super quick.
> 
> I've also been thinking (with subtle nudges from my husband) that maybe I'll go with Yukiko/Kanji? It'd work out easier and they're together often enough. I want everyone to have someone. That's the kind of guy I am! Who do y'all wanna see her end up with? There's plenty of time to decide; just curious. This is a not-quite-nice thought, but it’d be fun to have one relationship that doesn’t work out at all, and then at least one party involved see someone else. I like drama too much...
> 
> I'm also planning to include Chie in the group for the next story. She's moving back!! She gets mentioned in this chapter, so I thought it was finally time to bring it up.
> 
> I'm probably making the inn bigger than it was. Well, I want it to be a decent size! Two floors of rooms, with a restaurant, conference rooms, the indoor and outdoor onsen... I just added a small theatre. (Like for free guest movies. I’ve seen those a lot at hotels.) And a basement with laundry facilities, the general housekeeping area, and storage. Oh and the lobby and two offices on the first floor. Another office in the basement. I think that's it. AND I don't think I have the time to learn how to run an inn. So most of her day is based on educated guesses.

 

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Extra Help

(Yukiko)

I see my—mostly—friends converse and squabble with each other in the corner of the restaurant.

I’m happy that the hotel made it through the tougher times and that we can be a place for everyone to meet. I’ve enjoyed hosting my friends who’ve moved away over the years, and am delighted that I have been able to continue an important tradition in the town that molded me.

_Though days like toady... I wish I could sit with them and enjoy more free time. Kanji and Teddie are lucky they spend most of their days together. And Nanako—I miss hanging around with her, too._

_During my last year in high school, the year after Yuu moved back to the city, I would accompany Kanji and Teddie—and then Chie came with us—on their visits to the Dojima residence. Kanji helped me learn to follow recipes better, and I would bring the food. We'd all spend time together every few weeks; I liked it._

I catch myself paying more attention to the five in the corner than I should be— _Need to keep working seriously as proprietor._

Kanji and Adachi are especially animated this morning, yelling back and forth while Kubo cackles and Dojima tries to calm them down. _I know Kanji is suitably annoyed with Adachi’s return. I don’t believe they’re bothering anyone, but I wish they wouldn’t argue so much..._

_He was texting me kind of ranty last night. I couldn’t follow._

It's easy to see when they're done eating because I can hear Adachi loudly making fun of Ryota for saying the traditional "gochisousama". And then Kanji is scolding the crazy man again. I glance over at the noise and Dojima has his head in his hands and is telling them to shut up.

They file out in a line, with Dojima separating Kanji and Adachi—The latter of whom is trying to slap Kanji. Ryota grabs his wrist and Adachi hisses at him, kicking out a foot that Ryota easily sidesteps, twisting the smaller man's arm behind his back. Kubo is last, but laughing much less and eyeing me suspiciously.

_He's been acting strangely shy around me, which I find hilarious. He kept asking me out so long ago, but now it's as though I intimidate him. I have this urge to yell 'boo' when he passes by and nods meekly._

Ryota drops Adachi to stop and speak with me while the others continue on. "I have time before work. Is there anything I could do to make up for my share of the room?" he asks.

Surprised at the question, I motion him aside while I hand out menus and point a family to their table. I shouldn't take advantage of the offer, but someone called in sick and we _are_ shorthanded in housekeeping. _But who would want to fold sheets and hang yukata for hours?_

I frown, unsure if I should say anything. _Don't want to be too rude._

"What is it?" Ryota asks me. "Something I can do?" He folds his arms and grins. "They only have me doing security at the station because I'm tall and know martial arts. But I can do other things, too."

"Feel free to say no..." I start off with. He cocks his head to the side, wondering what kind of crappy job it'll be. "We could really use someone in the laundry room today. Do you know how use a washing machine?"

He nods eagerly. "Yeah—I can do that. I have to leave at three to be back in time; four if there's a big enough TV."

"I'll see what I can do," I laugh. "We have a small theatre. As long as no one's around..."

"Sounds good," Ryota nods. "Where do I go?" He glances around, fidgeting.

"I can take you in fifteen minutes, if you want to have a seat in the lobby. That's when I make the mid-morning rounds."

"I see. How many rounds do you do a day?" he curiously questions.

I hand out more menus and gesture to open tables. "Let's see," I think aloud. "There's morning, mid-morning, kitchen, post-lunch, onsen, banquet rooms, kitchen again, and evening." I count the fingers I have raised. "So eight times, total."

"Busy," Ryota remarks.

"Very," I affirm.

Ryota unobtrusively leans against the wall instead of venturing out to the lobby. "How's your friend?" he queries. "I haven't heard anything about her."

"Chie?" I reply. He verifies my train of thought with a small nod. "She'll be visiting next week, actually," I excitedly relay. "She's trying to get a job here—She really followed through and will be completing academy soon." I giggle at the image of my best friend in a police uniform—For some reason the women's version just won't come to mind.

"She'll be staying with me for a few days while she interviews and looks for an apartment—Wait," I pause. "If you don't know, do the others? Dojima must know, right?"

Ryota shrugs. "Guess it'll be a surprise. He _loves_ those," the man chuckles. "Though unless she fishes him out of his office, he probably won't even notice. He hides in there most of the day."

I laugh again. "Chie can be loud... I don't think anyone can miss her!" I'm still giggling a little when another woman comes over to relieve me. I thank her and motion to Ryota. My coworker jumps a little when he walks over to us. She instinctively holds out a menu.

"Oh, no," I cover my mouth—This isn't helping the laughter. "This is Ryota-san. He'll be filling in today." He bows and she retracts the menu, bowing slightly back to him. "All right. I'll be back later." I also bow, then begin to lead us to the basement.

Ryota wordlessly follows me, watching the other workers rush by. We finally enter the door-less laundry area.

"Hmm," I say aloud, wandering over to the carts and machines. "The yukata go in there and then need to be hung—It looks like there are some ready to be brought up to the rooms now. You'll need to wear gloves for anything dirty... The linens and towels—They go in those washers, then these dryers." I point everything out and show Ryota how to hand the yukata. He's surprisingly good at putting them together.

"I—I know what I'm doing with these," he tells me. I watch as he properly folds and then hangs two more, carrying them to a long rack that will go up to the rooms.

I nod approvingly. "I'll be back to get you for lunch, alright?" He nods, already throwing bundles of dirty fabric into the various machines. "Thank you again for the help," I call as I pick my way back through the basement corridor.

_It looks like today will go more smoothly than I had expected! I was worried that I would need to spend my lunch doing the backed-up laundry._

_I should've made them all help out. I doubt anyone but Adachi would've said 'no'. Together, all five are like watching an odd game show._

I can’t help smiling as I climb the stairs. _I didn’t get to see much of the others, but..._

_Things have been so busy for me, lately. I’m realizing that I forgot how nice it is having friends around._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As another note. Ugh. I cannot believe myself. When I chose the names for some of my original characters it was before I even BOUGHT P5 (friends and I made a nospoilers pact where we didn’t look up anything but the release date and then played the first ~10 hours together). I did not realize how close Ryuuji Sakamoto is to the P5 character (who isRyuji with one "u") and want to smack my head into a wall. It also did not click until I was browsing through the Persona tag and I saw it and blanched. A friend that I play with keeps calling him (the real one) "Ryoji" so I didn't put two and two together until one or two days ago. I chose the name Ryuuji here because it's one my favorite Japanese names. I like the version with the characters for "twin dragons" (竜二). The Ryuji from P5 is written more like "imperial dragon" (竜司).


	40. Mendokusai (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru has his appointment with Aizawa and then begins to realize how much has really changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Mendokusai” is a common Adachi-ism. It translates to "bothersome".
> 
> I don't know what to call those wooden half-porches in some Japanese yards... So I just used the word "porch". But if you know Persona, you know the thing I'm talking about in the Doujima back yard.
> 
> When I wrote and rewrote the Aizawa stuff like fifty times I was thinking about Nanako finding the guns. So we’re clear—She never went through his stuff, but found the ones he hid in other places in the house. I went back and checked. He says to himself that he has about ten and she found either four or six. (Though I don’t doubt she’d go right through his shit if she were really worried. She’s a tiny, take-action woman!)

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Mendokusai

(Tohru)

I sit in the yard and scroll through the messages on my phone. I'm positioned behind the wall so that walkers and bikers can't see me, but _I'll_ be able to see Aizawa when he comes to the door.

Mitsuo wants to know when he can come over again or if I want to meet him near where he works to play more games. Kanji wants to know if I'll be in before or after lunch, because if it's after he can pick me up.

_Yeah I'd rather not. I can tell that we're getting way to close to the point where he's going to try to fight me. And I'll fucking obliterate him._

_And then everyone else will be mad at me._

I pull at the grass between my legs. _This is getting too bothersome._

_Maybe if I just let him beat me up he'll calm down. Worth a shot..._

_Though then Ryoutarou will be angry with the both of us—Kanji for going through with it, and me for letting him kick the crap out of me. I could put on a show, pretend to fight back..._

_Naah they all know how strong I am. It wouldn't do any good._

I tell Mitsuo I'll let him know when I'm free, and then start typing to Kanji. I say that Ryoutarou will drive me, but I'll definitely be in. _Need to square away whatever is going to happen between us._

I hear a gait that sounds like Aizawa’s, so I sit up straighter and wait. Sure enough, he walks through the gate and right up to the door.

"Hi," I call, before he can knock or ring the bell.

Startled, he turns to his left and sees me. "Oh, Adachi-san. Good morning."

"Ryou's sleeping downstairs. Can we do this outside or in my room?" I ask.

The man shrugs. "That's fine with me."

I nod and stand, motioning for him to follow me to the back yard.

"How are you today?" Aizawa amiably questions.

I sniff. "Just okay..."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he prompts. "How's your mood?"

"Bad," I plainly reply, stuffing my hands into my pockets. In the back, Aizawa takes a seat on the porch and pulls out papers and a clipboard. He nods for me to go on when I’m ready.

I sigh. "Well, I'm worried Ryou's mad at me and I know Kanji is." I pace the patio and play with my lighter.

"Do you think you did something to upset them?"

I glower at the lighter. "Ryou says we need 'better boundaries', but it feels like he's trying to push me away." I shrug, spinning the little metal gadget around my hands.

"Please don't do that," Aizawa interrupts, and I turn my glare on him.

I grunt, replacing the lighter in my pocket. I lace my hands behind my head instead as I continue walking in odd patterns across the cement. "He already knew how I am," I complain, sounding angrier than I intended.

Aizawa nods slowly, probably putting his thoughts together. "Boundaries," he finally begins. I feel myself already frowning. "They're to make both people feel safe and respected. They're not a bad thing, unless they're unreasonable."

"What would be unreasonable?" I challenge.

"Let's start with _reasonable_ instead," he retorts. "Is there anything you'd like to use as an example."

I grunt and kick a small rock across the yard. "No."

"Okay, then I'll pick something." Aizawa roots around in his bag for a blank piece of paper and begins to write. "Let's start with physical boundaries." He glances over at me and I nod, paying attention. "If someone closes a door, what does it mean?"

"Privacy," I huff. "They probably want to be left alone."

"Correct!" he grins and points his pen at me. It takes a lot of willpower not to snap it in half at a stupid question like at. "If you want to talk to them what do you do?"

I sigh. "Knock on the door."

"Corre—" Aizawa stops short when I glare. "O-okay... The door is the boundary. You should only open it if the person tells you that it's all right. If they say you may come in, you're crossing a boundary in a good, healthy manner. If they tell you not to come in and you ignore that, you're crossing a boundary in a bad or unhealthy way."

"Okay."

"What's a boundary you have?" he asks me. "With anyone."

I shake a my head. "I don't know!" I growl, trying to come up with something easy. "I don't want people going through my stuff—How's that?"

"Do others go through your things?" Aizawa nervously questions.

"No! You asked for an example. _Jeez—_ "

"Alright. Well that's a good example of a poorly-defined boundary."

"What?! Why?" I reply. "It makes perfect sense! _Just don't touch my stuff."_

He sighs. "No, see—" Aizawa writes on the paper and hands it to me, outlining as he's trying to explain. "A good boundary would be for people to stay out of your room without permission. If your things are around the house, someone may need to touch them to move them out of the way. Are you okay with that?"

"Yes," I nod.

“Well. Then if they touch your things when they’re in a common area, it’s not crossing the well-defined boundary of not going through the things in your room. But if they go into your room... Then that’s violating your clearly-communicated boundary, as well as your trust.”

I nod again, understanding the basic concept. “But how do you know if someone’s going too far? What if they’re asking something unreasonable?”

“If you or someone else feels uncomfortable, you may be going too far—You need to ask questions to understand. But you can’t be too demanding, because that isn’t right, either.” He pauses to click his pen a few times. “If anyone makes you feel unsafe, or if you make _them_ feel unsafe, then you need better boundaries.”

I jump up and pace the line between the patio and the grass again. “Okay...” I exhale heavily, trying to piece it all together.

“You can always call if you have a problem,” Aizawa tells me. “Myself or someone else from my office if available twenty-four-seven.”

I turn towards him and chew on the inside of my cheek. “Cool. Thanks.” I bob my head up and down as I continue my closed loop.

“Now why is your mood poor?” Aizawa asks after a few minutes tick slowly by. “That’s something I need to monitor.”

When I’m facing away, I give the wall a black look and stay there until it’s gone. “I argued with a few people. I’m aggravated—” I link my hands behind my back and stretch.

“There’s somebody—He and I are close, but... He always acts like he knows _everything_. Like he knows me and Ryou and what’s good for us. And they’re close friends, so I don’t want to, but... But pretty soon I think we’re going to have a big fight. It’s been building up since he came to see me in the prison before I left.”

“Why do you think that is?” he evasively quizzes.

I frown. “You know, he’s—” I groan. “He’s one of the ones who got me to turn myself in. And he’s been close with Ryou and Nanako and he thinks I’m bad for them—Ryou especially...” I clutch at my head, feeling itchy on the inside.

“N-nn— _Not his business_ — _Doesn’t know me and_ —And he just doesn’t think I treat him right and _it pisses me off!!_ ”

I end up advancing on Aizawa, stomping over and he pales a bit—

“ _And what the fuck does Kanji know about anything?!_ ”

I’m stopped far enough away from Aizawa that he shouldn’t look so terrified. He has his clipboard held lengthwise between us, pointing at me like a plate or something. I narrow my eyes at him and he pulls it back.

I also take a few steps backwards. “A-a-as I was saying,” I let out a shaky sigh. “I’m worried there’s no way to solve this without fighting. I’m—” I sigh. “I feel cornered. And _that’s_ when I make the bad decisions.”

Aizawa wrinkles his forehead and rummages through his bag. “Like a panic attack?”

“No,” I laugh—Actually manage to _laugh_. “I have those, too. They’re different.”

“Uh-huh...” he says to himself. “When did this start?”

I snort, my expression definitely changing to ‘disdainful’. “ _It never stopped._ What do you think—Something like this just _goes away_?” I grab at my bangs to get them out of my face. “It’s practically hard-wired in.”

Aizawa holds out a blister pack of something. “Try this anyways. It’s for panic attacks, but it should calm you down—You’re not on anything for panic attacks.”

“I’m not,” I affirm, snatching the small amount of pills and cautiously reading the brief drug facts on the backs of each tab. _I think they gave me these in prison... Or something very similar._

“Call me if you take one, so you can tell me if it helps.”

I stuff them in my pocket and nod. “Okay. So what do I do about Kanji?”

“Talk it out,” he says, as if it’s the obvious solution. “Have someone there to mediate if it would make you feel safer—Someone not directly involved. Meaning _don’t_ make it Dojima-san.”

_I feel that’ll be safer for dumb Kanji. Fucking meathead._

“Anything else?” I ask, attempting to compose myself again.

“Not unless something else is bothering you,” he replies, still writing on that clipboard.

I shake my head. “I’ll see you to the front, then.” I sit on the grass while the other man finishes his notes and packs everything up.

After I watch him amble down the street, back to the town and the station, I go into the house. Ryoutarou’s still out. The clock by the front door says it’s only around ten.

_Maybe we can spend a little time here before we go. I really, really don’t want to deal with Kanji, even with Teddie and Tatsumi around._

_If tries to argue with me I’ll snap the punk in half._

I sigh and crouch down, rubbing at my forehead and scratching my head. When I’m alright, I decide to run the coffeemaker. _Maybe then we can start the day over._

_If only he’d let it drop..._

I take the pre-ground stuff out of the cabinet so I don’t wake Ryoutarou and dump spoonfuls into the basket, add the water, and then flick it on. I glance at the couch while I wait for enough to come out of the damn thing so I can pour a cupful.

_I wonder what time he absolutely has to be in by?_

_I wonder how bad it is at work...?_

_He said the others were being a bunch of bastards. Is there anything I can even do?_

_I mean—I got what I wanted. Everyone knows my place here, but it’s not turning out the way I wanted._

I flick my eyes over to the couch again. _He’s really out, snoring and all. Still looks messy and hasn’t changed..._

The coffeemaker beeps, interrupting my thoughts. The familiar noise seems to rouse Ryoutarou. I see him blink a few times and look around. He starts to roll over and I cringe—I know I’ll never make it over before he ends up on the floor.

Sure enough, he falls. I try not to laugh.

Ryoutarou groans when he lands on the tatami. “Morning~” I call.

“Hnn...”

I pour him the coffee and carry it over. “Have a nice nap?” I ask, smiling as best I can. He sits up and leans against the couch, taking the mug from me.

“Yes,” he says, sounding tired and gravelly. When I snicker he gives me a sleepy look and halfheartedly pokes me. “How long until Aizawa comes?”

Now I _really_  have to laugh. “He already came and went!”

“Oh,” he replies, sipping the scalding liquid. “How was it?”

I can’t help my brows from drawing together into what’s probably a frown. “Okay.”

Ryoutarou nods and we sit in silence until he finishes the coffee. He stands and stretches, telling me he needs to change and that I should, too.

I roll my eyes. “Not like anyone cares about what I’m wearing.”

“Be clean,” he groans. “Come on.”

“When do we have to leave?” I ask as we climb the stairs.

“Huh?” he replies. “After we change. I shouldn’t take off more time than I need to.”

I’m in front of my door, debating if he’ll let it all drop. _But I doubt it._

“Should we talk about earlier before we go?”

Ryoutarou sighs and turns around to look at me. “Do _you_ want to talk about it right now?” he questions. “We don’t have to address it this minute—But soon.” He sighs and runs a hand through his totally messy hair, then makes a face like he’s just remembering he looks really unkempt.

He rubs his cheeks, like he’s checking how much of a beard is starting to show. “How about I get you a little early and we’ll go over it again then?” He pauses, then adds more. “It _is_ a Friday. Shouldn’t be a problem.”

_When did he get so lax about work hours?_

“Okay...” I head into my room for clothes and can hear him walk into the bedroom to find his own.

_He had said that he cut his hours, but... It seems like he works barely half of the day._

I throw my dirty clothes in a pile and take out clean shorts and a tank top. _Something isn’t clicking into the right place._


	41. Kanashii Uta (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hitting the theme of codependency and desperation on the head again today—With the background of a song! We open with the guys getting into the car, and Tohru tries to change the music and misses—He accentually sticks on one of Ryoutarou’s CDs, which he starts to make fun of before realizing the other man is getting fairly upset. Then Ryoutarou and Kanji chat quickly before everyone heads off to their respective jobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title means “sad song” and it a lyric from the song spoken of below.
> 
> I was listening to a live version of “I Love You” while I worked and the thought that it should randomly come on hit me like a shot through the heart!! This is a translation by me of the bulk of the lyrics! It’s a slow song by Yutaka Ozaki. There are a million versions on Youtube if you’re curious. I’m also thinking I should put some playlists together on there… For the songs I use in chapter titles or straight-out in the story, like today. Could be fun.
> 
> So I hope the translation is at least par—I’m still learning Japanese. And for yesterday's chapter especially, man I read so man articles on setting boundaries. Still learning so much working on this.
> 
> UPDATE: No chapter tomorrow!! Sorry for the late notice...

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Kanashii Uta

(Ryoutarou)

When I make it back downstairs, Tohru is already filling my thermos. I smile at him and pick up the rest of my things.

"Ready?" I ask. He nods and grabs his drawstring backpack. "What do you even carry around in there?" I curiously question.

Tohru shrugs. "You know," he smirks wickedly. "Games. Snacks. Guns."

I groan and try to take the flimsy bag from him, but Tohru dodges and opens the door to the garage. He's in the car with that door locked before I can try again. I secure the house and climb into my own seat.

"You'll be in real trouble if someone else finds those," I try.

"Can't wear a holster with clothes like this," he tells me matter-of-factly; still with a playfulness to his voice.

I sigh. "Then wear something else."

"No thanks! It's hot and summer will be over soon enough. Better get the most I can out of the lighter clothes~"

On the road now, I turn on the radio and Tohru grabs his head and moans when he realizes it's a talk show. I chuckle and leave it. _He can find something else if he really wants._

“Boring~” Tohru complains and tries to change the station. He misses and presses the button for a CD instead.

_“—for our love can’t forgive everything.”_

I feel my body immediately stiffen— _Haven’t listened to a CD since my last drive up to the prison—_

_Forgot what was even in there—_

I can tell I’m instinctively mouthing the words…

_“We’re like stray cats abandoned in an empty box, being covered up by dead leaves.”_

_This song is…_

“Wow; dark!” Tohru breathes. “I thought all you owned were Yazawa and Hound Dog CDs…”

_“You cry out in a lonely voice just like a kitten’s.”_

“Well, this is a real downer~” he sighs, still grinning and playing around. When he reaches to change the music again, I see him turn to me, probably wondering if his dig made me laugh.

_“If we hold each other tightly, sharing our tenderness on this old bed; if we close our eyes so our love doesn’t turn into a sad song.”_

_“Some secrets of our love can’t be spoken aloud.”_

I used to play this song over and over, singing intermittently. _It felt too apt._

“Uh, Ryou—” he tries, anxiously using the version of my name he only pulls out in public or to placate me.

_“I love you. It’s a love that can’t be reached right now, for we’ll only get hurt as we dream of it.”_

“H-how about we change the CD? Maybe that shit about dancing on the beach?”

_“You keep asking if I love you; again and again.”_

He’s rummaging through the console, looking through the few albums I keep in the car. “You’ve got _Twist_ in here—Want that?”

I don't really feel as though I can reply, too wrapped up in keeping it together. _This is the first time it's played since—_

_“Almost as if you can’t live without this love either.”_

“Hey!” Tohru yelps, finally pressing the button and popping out _For All My Loves_. We drive in silence and he chucks the plastic disc onto the dashboard. “What the _what_ was that?”

I glance over at him, out of the corner of my eye. “What was what?” I ask, my voice even but sounding a touch raw.

“You just…” Tohru shakes his head. “You looked really sad.”

I clear my throat a few times. “Did I?”

“Don’t give me that!” he admonishes.

“Alright…” We don’t speak while I stew; relenting after a few minutes. “I listened to that album a lot—Especially that song. It's become a favorite."

Tohru snorts. “That’s what it looked like. Aside from, _you know_ , you almost bursting into tears or something."

“I got to learn the words to a _lot_ of songs," I protest. "It was a long drive to visit you—” I defensively try again, but cut myself off.

He’s sitting sideways in the seat regarding me carefully and not even bothering with the belt— _Another small aggravation._ “So, what?” Tohru scoffs. “Did you just keep playing it over and over? Like a pathetic fifteen year old?”

I grunt. "When I was fifteen we couldn't get music on demand like this." Tohru groans and I frown, not answering the question right away. He pokes my arm and I swat him away. “ _Yes._ I would get stuck in a loop sometimes, okay?”

"At least you're being honest..."

"I'm _always_ honest," I counter.

Tohru shakes his head at me and sighs dramatically. "White lies are still lies~"

"Yes."

We're almost in town, when he asks what time I'll be back. "Just wanna make sure I'm all ready to go." Tohru leans back against the car door and watches me carefully.

"I need to work at least three hours today..." I do the math in my head. "Probably I'll be there a little before two-thirty."

"Just three?" he questions.

"You want me to work _later_?" I reply with an edge to my voice.

I look over and Tohru's scratching his head, a blank expression on his face. I know it's how he hides his thoughts. "How many hours have you been working a week?"

"Is this an interrogation?" I stolidly rebut.

"Should it be?" he challenges right back.

I sigh, tapping my hands on the steering wheel. I flick the radio on again and finally slide my CD back into the deck— _Don't want to leave it sitting out like that on the dash._ "I don't see why this should matter. I'm almost fifty, but I don't want to retire," I recite the practiced line. “So I simply slashed my hours.”

"Mmhmm. So when did you _start_ working half-days?" Tohru queries.

"Recently," I easily tell him. _Time is relative._ “And they’re _not_ half days.”

"That so?" he jeers as I pull the car into Kanji's driveway.

I throw it into park and undo my seatbelt. "Yes. You can't drive," I reason to Tohru. "Can't get a license again for some time, so if you have an appointment I'll take you."

"You don't drive Nanako around town," he remarks, narrowing his gaze.

_I'm not worried someone will jump and try to beat Nanako. And she's usually with Teddie, anyhow. Sometimes Kanji picks her up..._

"You're saying you only cut your hours to cart me around? I can buy a bike."

I have to laugh. "Do you even know how to ride a bike? There's one in the garage, if you'd prefer."

"That's not answering the question, old man." He's frowning deeply, but I don't want to tell him— _Don't want him to know it was 'strongly recommended' I half my days or opt for early retirement._

Trying to brush this off again, I give him a different truth. "I want to be around." I smile and he narrows his eye at me.

Tohru continues to stare and fully appraises me, trying to read all the things I'm keeping locked up—

_Need to 'lock it down' like Ryota said. I know he's right. I can't give him more than he can handle; need to make sure I'm not making it harder for Tohru to keep his anger and frustration below threshold. It's our snap decisions and his defensiveness that make everything worse._

"You'd better not lie to me," is all he says.

"I'm not," I reply, disliking the weakness in my voice.

Tohru finally throws his hands up and raise his eyebrows, and I know he's being sarcastic, but letting it drop. I sigh and open the car door.

"You're coming in?" Tohru asks, though I think that's fairly obvious.

"Yes," I say as I start for the door. "I want to talk with Kanji for a few minutes."

He snickers. "That'll be fun to see~"

I glare over at him, but Tohru only grins and grabs my hand. "Don't antagonize him today, alright? I want your word on that."

He sighs and tries pulling away, so I yank on his hand to drag him to me, pulling him into a hug. "I'm serious," I say, holding him still for a minute.

Tohru fidgets, not looking at me. "Fine. I'll do my best."

"Thanks," I reply and kiss him. He looks surprised, but then softens. When I pull away, I take out my cigarettes. "Can a I have a light?"

He nods and holds his lighter up, flicking it both open and on in one smooth motion. "This your way of sending me away?" Tohru catches on.

I chuckle as I take a drag. "I'm not sending you away... But get to work and send Kanji out here."

Tohru grumbles but walks into the house. I sit down on a chair on the back porch while I wait.

"Hey, Ojisan," Kanji greets me, dropping down onto another chair. "You wanted to talk to me?"

I nod. "You two didn't end on a good note," I open. "Is it alright to leave Tohru here today, or should I send him back home?" I lean forward to tap my cigarette on the ground and not the wood of the deck.

"It'll be fine," Kanji replies, looking decidedly _not_ fine. "I'll be gone for a few hours after lunch. We won't even see much of each other. But he and I are having a chat at some point." The kid crosses his arms and I sigh.

"I figured—That's why I'm asking if I should even leave him here or not. I told him not to fight with you, but I trust _you_ more to keep a promise like that. So," I breathe. "Today will be all right? It's only a few hours."

Kanji nods. "Yeah. We'll keep it under control. If we don't, Ma'll yell at us. She won't take any bullshit."

I laugh, smoking more. "She's tough..."

Kanji breaks into a smile. "S'where I get it from!" He flexes his arm and I shake my head.

"It's a good quality, most of the time." I stand and clap him on the shoulder. "I'll be back later. Thanks for everything."

"It's not a problem," Kanji calls after me. "I'd tell you if it was."

"I know," I reply, getting back into my car.


	42. Locked In (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji has two flashbacks about when he started becoming friends with Ryoutarou. Then we jump back to the present and he and Tohru have one of their usual interactions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Jiisan" is a kind of rude way to call an old man. Besides not having the polite "oh-" at the beginning, it's for people a LOT older, like elderly age. (Think I mentioned this in a different chapter, but...)
> 
> I think this story is going to run longer than I thought. I wanted to end it on the Sunday; everyone was going to have a little get-together. But I think we need more resolution on the Adachi-Kanji front. And Nanako hasn’t even SEEN Doujima since she got angry, so there’s that. Plus someone has to tell her that she has another grandmother... Grr loose ends.

Chapter Forty: Locked In

(Kanji)

I creep down the hallway, knowing that visitors probably aren't allowed here except for family.

I've spent enough damn time at the hospital that everyone already knows me. A tech I'm friendly with buzzed me right in, thankfully.

I find Dojima's room and knock softly in case he isn't up.

"I'm not taking the damn pills!" I hear him shout and I pinch my eyes shut.

 _Knew this was gonna be a shit visit_. I push the door open anyways and he looks surprised to see me—His eyes go wide and he glares across the room.

I sigh and close the door behind myself.

"Thought this was a 'locked ward'," Dojima mutters.

"It is," I nod. "I'm not really here, cause if I get in trouble they won't let me see Nanako-chan anymore. So don't tell, okay?"

Dojima nods once, still looking angry. "Fine. Then why aren't you in school?"

"I—uhh—I have today off!"

"You're a bad liar, _boy_ ," Dojima grumbles.

I frown at him. "And you're a fucken' mess, _old man_!" I spit back. "I'm just trying to be nice—You always look so lonely."

His face gets all pissed and he glares. "I am _not_ lonely!!" Dojima growls.

But then he shakes his head and sighs. "Doesn’t matter but— _shit_ —at least be polite, you goddamn punk! It's 'ojisan', not 'jiisan'."

"Fine," I reply, taking a seat in the only chair. "And you're a shittyass liar, too. You're fucking lost and it's really been botherin' me."

Dojima shifts on the bed, propping himself up higher. "I am not ' _lost_ ', you piece of shit!"

"Whatever!" I groan. "Calm down or somebody's gonna come check in here."

We silently scowl at each other for a while. _I have so much stuff I wanna tell him..._

"Y'know," I start, trying to figure out what I wanna say. "I'd always see you around the station when I got picked up... And you always looked you had it so together. I mean, you're messy, but you act like you're in charge and you know what's what—Tough on the bad guys and all that."

"Yeah, _and_?" he demands, his temper flaring up again.

I shift in my seat and scratch my head a little, not really wanting to say what I need to get out. He huffs in annoyance, so I just get it over with. "I guess I kinda looked up to you. Never thought I'd be pinning you to the floor of the hospital cause you wanted to jump. Thought someday I'd wind up pinned to a cop car by _you_ for losing it at a bunch of assholes."

Dojima stares at me quietly for a long time. I don't say anything, just wait to see if he'll reply at all.

He rakes a hand through his hair and winces from whatever injury hurts now—I know he still has a bunch. "Some things finally break you, kid." He sighs. "And you won't see me around for a while. I've been given two months paid leave, so someone else will have to worry about your sorry ass."

"Hey," I shrug. "I haven't been taken in for a while now. I'm turnin' over a new tree!" I flex one arm and he laughs, then coughs and grimaces.

"It's 'leaf'," he tells me.

I roll my eyes. "Whatever. You get what I'm saying."

Dojima nods. "Oi," he tries. "Thank you for always coming to see Nanako. _I_ can't right now." His face falls to sad.

"How long?" I question, trying to get the gloomy look off him.

"A week total," he says. "So four more days of this shit. Didn't think _anything_ could be worse than when I was bedridden." He makes another bitter noise. "At least then... _He'd_ come around with food or wheel me around and—" Dojima cuts himself off and slaps a hand to his face, growling out a choked sound.

 _Now he looks so, so, so broken. Like he's been completely abandoned_. It makes me feel like there's nothing any of us can do.

I have to glance away for a minute to make sure I can hold it together. At some point, I turn back to Dojima and he's recovered a little.

He locks eyes with me and damn he just looks so drained. "Kanji," Dojima starts. "You should've let me go. There's more to this than anyone knows, and I don't think I'll get over it."

I shake my head a bunch of times. " _Nuh-uh!!_ " I bark and he jumps. "No way in hell!!" I almost yell. "You're gonna be fine—You'll get through whatever the fuck this is! We'll all help you and you got a lot to look forward to, so shape up! Nanako's gonna get totally better and you'll both be cool. I swear— _Count on me_." I jam my thumb into my chest and lean forward in my chair.

Dojima laughs uncomfortably. "Trust _me_ ," he breathes. "I don't know what's going to happen. _Don't even know if I'll be able to go back to work after my time is up—_ "

"I'll help you!!" I immediately volunteer.

"Wh-what?" Dojima stammers, confused.

"Yeah!" I go on. "I work out every day and mostly know what I'm doing. We'll get you ready for the physical no problem! And if you gotta talk about it, then tell me. Who am _I_ gonna tell? And I _ain't_ judgmental, you should know that by now. I've been coming around a lot, but you're so damn nervous, pushing people away like you're scared of us."

Dojima glares at me again. "Fuck you, kid." I raise my eyebrows and he sighs. "But yeah, alright. Say you really will help me, and I'll try to hurry out of here."

"It's a deal, ojisan," I smile and walk over to shake his hand.

"Easy killer," he warns, pumping mine slowly. "Now get outta here before anyone sees you. I'm..." He trails off and looks away. "I'm happy that Nanako and Yuu have a friend like you."

I feel myself grin as I walk over to the door and peek out, making sure no one does see me. "All clear," I tell him and wave goodbye.

\---***---

I visit Dojima again after he's been released back to the main floors. I brought something to give him, maybe cheer him up.

"Hey old man!" I loudly greet him when I enter his new room.

Dojima sighs. "It's 'ojisan', punk!"

"Hey Punk Ojisan!!" I grin. He rolls his eyes and asks me why I'm back. "I brought you somethin'," I tell him. "It's pump-up music! Well... Some of it is. You'll see."

I dig around in my backpack and pull out a bright orange CD player. When I hold it out to him though, Dojima flinches away from me. "W-where'd you get that?" he demands. "Did you kids go into my room?"

"Uhh," I scratch the back of my neck. "No. Senpai found it under the old kotatsu and everyone says it's not theirs—Even Nanako. So he said I could have it and, you know, pass it on to you. It's not yours, right?"

"No," he grunts. "Definitely _not_."

I laugh. "Yeah we figured. There was a stack of pop discs next to it and a Brilliant Green album inside... Do you know whose it is?"

"Yes," he carefully replies. "But he won't be needing it for a long time. I'll hang on to that." Dojima extends his hand and I pass the gadget to him. He's muttering all the while. "By the time I see that guy again— _if I even feel like it_ —you'll all be using those little media chips."

I laugh nervously. _I think he means Adachi._

Dojima turns the device over in his hands, not opening the lid. "What's in here now? You didn't leave that pop shit for me, did you?" he finally questions.

"No way!" I reply. "We stacked all the stuff nobody claimed in a box and I made you a copy of one of my favorites. It's Ozaki—Do you know him?"

He snorts like I'm an idiot. "The real question is how _you_ know Ozaki. You sure you're not a biker, _punk_?"

"I just turned old enough for a moped license!" I groan. "I am not!"

"Well this is what they'd all listen to when I was your age," he smirks. "Bousouzoku kids... Which album is it?"

" _F-for All My Loves_ ," I tell him. "It has a lot of his hits. I—I really like 'Fifteen's Night' and 'Rules of the Road'."

" _Of course_ you like 'Fifteen's Night'," he sarcastically sighs. "You just turned sixteen, and it's _everyone's_ favorite..."

"D-don't make f-fun of me, old man!" I stutter.

He grins. "It's 'ojisan'—Don't make me tell you again. I didn't keel over walking down the street, I was _ejected from my speeding car_."

"Fine," I jeer. "Ojisan is what I'll call you then.” I fold my arms and glare. “Hope you like the music, _Ojisan_. ‘Rules of the Road’ suits you, _Ojisan_ —Find your true self, _Ojisan_.."

"I'll try not to snap the thing in half, pretending it’s you," he replies with a dark smile.

We stare each other down for a minute before he breaks eye contact and chuckles. "You wanna come with me to see Nanako?"

"You mean 'do I wanna help you see Nanako'?" I laugh.

That makes him frown, though. " _I don't need help anymore_... But pull me outta this bed." He carefully places the CD player on the nightstand and holds out his hand. I yank him up and he grumbles. "Can't believe all this..."

"I know," I say. _Cause what else can I say?_

We're heading down the hall to the elevator when he asks about the other stuff. "That box of things no one claimed when Yuu was cleaning," he starts. "Can you make sure it doesn't get thrown away or something?"

I shrug. "Sure, but it's mostly shounen digests and other crap you wouldn't want."

"I'll take care of it when I get home. If it's in the way, slide open my door and shove the box inside—Don't you kids dare go dumping anything until I can at least look through it myself."

"Okay," I nod. "I shouldn't—ah—bring it anywhere for you, should I?"

He glances away, grimacing. "If there isn't a laptop or phone or something else that could be used for—for _work_ —then it's alright to leave it alone."

"You got it. I didn't see anything like that, but I'll let Senpai know."

"Thanks, kid," Dojima mumbles as we step into the elevator.

\---***---

I walk back into the house and sigh. _Sometimes I forget Ojisan's just a softie. He's so damn stuck on this moron..._

"Kanji," I hear the shithead call. He's sitting at the table with his hands folded, looking like he's been waiting for me.

"What?" I tersely reply.

He sighs. "I think we really need to clear the air, you and I. Why don't we try talking it out with someone around to make sure we don't slap the shit out of each other."

I raise my eyebrows. "I could do that." I fold my arms, wondering what he's planning. "You got someone in mind?"

"I haven't asked him yet," he admits. "But I was thinking Ryota. He's probably the least biased. I can't tell if he likes or hates me, but he definitely thinks _you're_ fine—So I think he should be agreeable. And if you want to talk about Ryou, he'll tell us bluntly what he's probably thinking. Don't think that idiot has much of a filter."

"Uh-huh. And when do you wanna do this?"

He shrugs lazily. "Dunno. Monday before work?"

I nod. "Sure.

"I _will_ need you to drive me," he mutters.

"Huh?"

Tohru groans and I can hear him kicking his feet. "If one of us snaps and does try to beat the shit out of the other, I don't want Ryou or Nanako to even _know_. We’ll all go somewhere else."

"That's fair," I agree. _He's had it out for me since when I visited him with Nanako, and he clearly thinks I have it out for him. It would be better to get this confrontation over with._

"Okay. Then I'll call Ryota later." Tohru stands and walks toward the store. "What am I doing today?"

"We need to load the car for deliveries in the afternoon. The rest of this morning should be easy, though. I'm going to work on dyeing with Teddie and Ma's gonna do whatever else needs done."

"Did you kids have fun?" my mom asks the second we walk through the curtain. _I haven't spoken to her yet today... Of course she'd ask that._

Tohru beams at her and nods. "Yup~" he tells her. "We sure did!!"

She turns to shoot me a look that says she knows the snake wouldn't have made it that easy. "It was alright," I tell her. "Didn't get much sleep."

"Did Ryou's snoring keep you up, too?" Tohru snickers.

So wanna say something—

_I mean, Dojima woke right up worried about him. He and Ryota were up most of the night after that. I pretended I was out again so it wouldn't upset them, but I heard their whole conversation..._

"Wh-what?" Tohru asks me, his face pinching together in concern. "Did _I_ snore? Man if I did, I'll never hear the end of it after all the shit I give him!"

"No, you—" I shake my head. "You... You had a bad dream or something. Ojisan was worried and—"

I stop speaking because his face has morphed right to that blank look on now. "I don't think so," Tohru slowly tells me. "You must've been _dreaming_..."

Ma raises her eyebrows behind his back and I cock my head. "Why would I lie about that?" She shoots me a look that says she thinks I've really stepped in it now.

"I don't _have_ nightmares anymore," Tohru shrugs, seeming disinterested.

My mom quietly walks out to the store while I figure out how to right my sinking ship. "No, uh," I backtrack. "I just meant that I heard you making noise and then Ojisan was tying to make you feel better but—"

Now he's struggling not to glare, trying to keep that neutral expression plastered on. "What do you mean, Kanji?"

"He was just," I wave my hand around, trying to grab at something that won't piss him off more. "Y'know—Saying nice things and stuff. I wasn't looking at you or anything! A-and then he and Ryota were talking for a long time and—"

" _Were they?_ " he spits. "And what did they talk about, if you could hear everything even while trying so hard not to?" _He's doing s good job of keeping blank, but his voice sounds downright acidic!_

I rub the back of my neck. "I dunno," I reply.

" _Try_."

_Thinking back, I'm wondering which bomb I can hand him. They talked about so much shit that I shouldn't know..._

"Well," I stall.

Tohru takes a step toward me, arms folded and stance wide. "If you can answer me a different question, I'll let it drop. I'm a nice guy like that, you know~"

"What—What is _that_ question?"

He does that smiling where it's just his mouth— _So creepy—_

"Tell me if it’s my fault he's working less—As in _directly_ my fault," is what Tohru asks me.

_That's..._

_That's also a loaded question._

_I don't wanna lie. But I don't think I'm supposed to tell him that it's true._

"Don't bother answering," he indignantly says. "I can already tell by your face that it's my fault—You don't need to say another word."

I frown, feel really shitty.

_I don't think Dojima wanted him to know that._

"Well are we gonna load the car or not?" Tohru emotionlessly asks, turning on his heel and walking back into the house.


	43. On the Fringes (Yukiko)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yukiko and Ryota hand out, and then Yukiko gets a call from Kanji—Who asks her for advice without really bringing her up to speed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UHM. So. Ryota is basically becoming Yukiko's Magical (But Clueless) Oniichan. It strikes me as really funny... I enjoy writing these chapters so much!
> 
> If you’re wondering what Adachi says on the phone, he’s still doing that thing where he says “Ryota” quietly, and then screams “fuck you” when the other man tries to listen better.
> 
> We’re going to have more flashbacks Kanji bonding with the Doujimas soon, too. I enjoy me a good rewind, and I think we need more empathy for Kanji butting in. ^^ (MAYBE tomorrow. Either that or a Ryoutarou chapter.)

Chapter Forty-One: On the Fringes

(Yukiko)

I find Ryota when I'm going to take my lunch break. Not only is the laundry room still functioning, but everything is done and he's sitting on top of a dryer reading.

"You... Really finished?" I ask in awe. "There hasn't been anyone in here for over a day!!"

"I, ah—" he scratches his arm. "I brought everything upstairs too, and handed it off to go into the rooms. And look—Someone _gave_ me this book!" He holds up a Murakami novel, grinning excitedly.

I shake my head, floored. _I was already wondering how much overtime I was going to have to offer for people to stay late helping me..._

"Lunch?" I dumbly question, and Ryota hops off his perch and tucks the new book under his arm.

I take two bento from the kitchen and lead the way to the staff lounge. It's nearly empty because this is later than most everyone else eats. I choose a table and place the food on top.

"Thanks for the food!" Ryota smiles, taking the lid off of his.

I nod and start on my own, thinking over the miracle that just occurred in the laundry room. _I wonder what else he's good at?_

"Ryota," I hesitantly question. "Would you like to work here? We could always use more help, and you've been very productive!"

He looks surprised at my offer and pauses, letting his salad fall back to the box. "Really?" he raises his eyebrows. "I like it here."

"Mmhmm!" I agree. "We'll need to figure out a more permanent position, but come back on Monday for sure! Chie will be here in the afternoon, as well. You can meet her then."

"Alright," he replies. "Thank you for the opportunity." He smiles again and continues eating.

I take out a tablet and catch up on my work email for a few minutes— _Need to make sure I'm replying to all potential clients, vendors, schedule changes..._

I hear a phone ring and automatically reach for my own, but it's Ryota's. He makes a face. "Tohru again," he says to me before he picks it up.

"Yes hello," the man politely says into the phone before listening. "What? _Fight?!_ Wh—Are you _sure_ that's a good idea? ...Of course he doesn't know, huh?" Ryota sighs and answers a few more questions, but I have no idea what's going on.

"I've already been invited somewhere for Monday afternoon," Ryota replies. "Plus you're a pain in the ass... Can you meet me at the Inn? I'll have a few hours free in the morning."

He sighs. "I now work here, too. I need to pay my own expenses. I'm not like you, _slacker_! ...What?"

Ryota winces and pulls the cell away from his ear. "I keep falling for that," he sighs when he hangs up.

"Falling for what?" I question.

"Nothing," he replies, a disgusted expression playing across his face. _Wonder what Adachi said._

"What did he want?" I prompt.

Ryota groans. "I've been asked to 'make sure we don't beat the shit out of each other' by Tohru and Kanji. Says the two of them want to clear the air about a few things. It _would_ be good for them to just fight it out and be done with their baggage... But why me?"

"But," I stare at my new friend, feigning horror. "Why _here_?"

He freezes with his phone halfway back to his pocket. "I'm sorry—Didn't think to ask—"

"It's fine!" I laugh. "Make them go out back like a schoolyard fight! _And_ so nothing gets broken."

"I really hope they don't actually come to blows," Ryota anxiously confesses. "Tohru's very strong, and I'll have to heal whoever gets hurt... Which is coincidentally why I think they asked me to mediate."

"Lucky you," I roll my eyes. "But—Out of curiosity..." I trail off. Ryota raises his eyebrows, so I ask. "How much power do you have? I heard you heal others out here without a second thought."

"Hnn." The man regards me carefully before answering. "More than you, but less than Tohru." He takes a bite of food before going on. "Is that a satisfactory answer?"

_'Is that a satisfactory answer'??_

"Are you a robot?" I blurt.

He wrinkles up his face. " _That's_ out of the blue..." I stare Ryota down until he rolls his eyes. "Jeez, no!"

I nod suspiciously. "That's _exactly_ what a robot would say..."

"I don't get you," he shakes his head, confused. "But I don't get a lot of people out here; so I guess more broadly I don't get _people_."

"You will," I easily assure him. "You can always take Teddie's approach and hug everyone you meet!" I joke.

"No thank you," Ryota bluntly replies. He finishes his food and claps his hands softly.

I eye him with interest. "Do you like traditional practices?"

He flicks his gaze away, looking embarrassed while he considers his answer. "Yes."

_Bingo!_

"Do you know the Way of Tea?"

Ryota cautiously nods. "In _theory_... Like with being a detective."

"I'll pay you twice as much as I would've if you'll take over the tea ceremonies during weekdays," I level. "I've been doing it for as long as I can remember and am _so sick_ of being the only one who performs when I now also _run_ this inn."

"I've never done it, but I know the steps... I believe," he falters, sounding less sure of himself.

_Don't lose him now, Yuki!_

"I'll give you the books I have on tea ceremony!!" I offer. "I'll—I'll show you online videos?"

He nods again. "I can—I'm sure I can learn."

"Good!" I clap my hands together and stand, collecting the bento and my bag. "You need to leave soon, right? Let's go get those books."

After returning the bento, we make our way back to reception. I snag an long-abandoned canvas bag from behind the desk and walk purposefully to a—mostly—decorative bookshelf in the corner of the room. I pull out several volumes and pack them up. I hold it out to Ryota.

"See if these help. You can shadow me on Monday, okay?" I ask.

He nods and add his own novel, swinging the bag around as he walks around the lobby. "Would you please show me where the TV is? I need to get going, and this way I can use it to return on Monday.”

I motion him down a hall and open a door. Inside, there are a few small rows of theatre-style seating and a large television. We invested in a TV so large, that if it were on the floor, I would only need to bend a little to walk right through.

Ryota nods appraisingly; adopting a more serious expression. He looks down at the swaying bag and loops it over his shoulder. Then he leans back on one leg like a runner and grins before taking off and practically diving at the screen. I'm a little afraid he's going to miss and it'll be disaster, but he hits it almost square in the middle and disappears.

I shake my head and walk back out of the theatre, momentarily forgetting what I even have to do next. _At least things have been more interesting..._

Someone stops me to ask about the evening menu and my phone trills a few times while I go over a change. It rings through twice before I'm finally able to pick it up.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Uuh, hi," Kanji hesitantly says. "Are you free?"

I check my watch. "Only for a little while. Do you need something urgent?"

"No," he replies. "Can I run something by you—Please? I'm... I'm worried I'm not doing the right thing."

I sigh. "About the fight with Adachi?"

"Yes," he says after a minute. “Wait—You already know?!”

“ _Oh for—_ ” I groan. “I was eating with Ryota when Adachi called him. And really, this is _dumb_ —Even for you two!”

“When he was loading the car, I was starting to remember how freakishly strong he is, and I’m maybe nervous— _But j-just a little!_ ” he shouts at the end.

I shake my head. "I don't know what to tell you... Ryota said he thinks you two are going to smack each other around, but that'll get it out of your systems. _I_ think it's a bad idea. Adachi isn't someone you want to be brawling with. Why are you two so in each others’ faces anyway?”

Kanji growls into the phone. “ _I don’t..._ I _think_ —” I can hear him hit something; maybe the dashboard. “Yuki-chan—You weren’t there for the worst of it, man. It was _bad_. Before I started organizing all of us to go over to the Dojimas’ more often, it was...” He breaks off and sighs. “I think I need one of those lectures I gave Ted about staying out of shit.”

“What is it?” _I’m growing concerned—Kanji usually likes to help from behind the scenes, as he has all these years. He’s not often openly hostile anymore._ "Has something happened?”

“Argh! Before is was—It was just chaos over there. Or, well, the opposite, I guess. I remember being really angry. After Yuu-kun moved back, Ojisan just shut down and it scared Nanako a lot. She called me over to try and get him back in order and it worked out okay, but—”

“It’s like—Things are already getting to the point where I need fucking Tohru to know how bad it really _was_. He’s not—He’s not acting _normal_ ,” my friend agitatedly confides. “ _And damn:_ he’s been real fucking insistent on finding out what happened after he left, and I think I’m going to tell him—With Ryota around so he won’t go mental.”

I hum. “Should you do that? Won’t it make things harder for everyone to get over it all?”

“ _Yuki_ —He’s _not_ acting right.” Kanji groans again. “I think he’s been— _Nnn_ —” Kanji sighs and is silent for a minute. I wait for him to go on, wondering what’s bothering him so much this time.

He smacks something again and then continues. “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, but I don’t want everything exploding so horribly again. If—If it’s what I think Nanako would want me to do, do you think that’s the right answer?”

“Can you _ask_ Nanako?” I try.

“...No.” I know that’s his final answer by the way he says it. “Except for the bender, she seems to think things are going well between the guys. I don’t want another fight being my fault; Ted already—”

_Wait... What bender?_

“What are you talking about?” I respond. “ _Adachi went on a bender?_ What kind—”

“No, no... _Dojima_ was drinking and she got real mad when Teddie told her. But she’s already made up with Tohru—”

I make an exasperated noise. “You’re losing me _more_ , not explaining, Kanji!”

“Aww!” he moans. “It’s all so twisted, I don’t even know where to _start_!” He cuts himself off to swear and I hear him drop the phone. “H’lo?” he asks when he’s back.

“ _Yes?_ ”

“I need to go in and deliver some stuff. Don’t worry, I’ll handle it. Thanks for listening to me ramble, Yuki,” he says.

“It’s not a problem,” I reply. “I wish I could do more, but...”

I hang up and lean back against the wall. _It’s as if they’re all running circles around each other, barely connecting. Kanji and Adachi should have a conversation so they can explain themselves enough to get along, but I would prefer if it were of the sit-down variety._


	44. From Emperor to Hierophant (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji flashback! Bonding with Nanako and setting Ryoutarou straight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep saying “flashback” but these are really what happened before and not just flashbacks. I don’t know the word I want...
> 
> The title is supposed to be interpreted at will. It works in a few different ways~
> 
> I’m sorry I can’t swear as creatively as young Kanji... Kanji from the game and anime is just so... Creative at swearing.
> 
> I might not have time for a chapter tomorrow. Nest up with be the Ryoutarou chapter I mentioned working on. Then I want one more Kanji flashback. I’m enjoying these, especially his bonding with little Nanako!!
> 
> I'm also setting up to have Naoki in the next story!

 

Chapter Forty-Two: From Emperor to Hierophant

(Kanji)

It's the beginning of May, long after Yuu left, and the first week of Adachi’s trial, that I get the call.

My cell goes off while I'm stocking the higher shelves for my Ma, and I see that it's the Dojima residence. I pick up, expecting the caller to be Dojima himself, but it's Nanako instead.

"'Sup, Nanako-chan?" I ask when she identifies herself.

"K-kanji-san," she replies, sounding kinda sad. "Are you busy?"

I make quick work of the last few boxes of thread. "Nah I'm good. What's up?"

"I'm worried," she tells me. "I haven't seen Dad in a few days. I've been going to school and there's food that he's ordered left out for me when I get home, but..."

"Ahh," I intone, unsure how to respond. "Is he home? He's been blowing me off all week, too. We've been jogging in the mornings, but I can't get ahold of him on the phone."

"Yeah," Nanako replies. "It’s off. I'm pretty sure he's in his room, but he won't come out and I don't want to bother him..." She trails off and I know she's going to ask if I can give it a shot. "You and he get along really well, maybe could you talk to him for me?"

I sigh. "Yeah. Of course. I'll see what I can do. Lemme tell Ma I'm going out. Do you want me to pick anything up?"

"Nn-nn," she says. "I'm fine. I can take care of myself, but since Big Bro left Dad's not been taking care of _himself_."

"Okay," I tell her. "I'll be there soon."

After I hang up, I tell my mom that I'll be going out to the Dojimas' for a while and she nods. "Remind that little girl she's welcome over anytime," she asks me. "I adore you Kan-chan, but she's about the sweetest thing. Makes me wish we could've had a girl, too."

"I know, Ma," I laugh. "We all love her like a sister. Now that her cousin's gone, we should have her over for dinner more often. Ojisan can come too, if he wants, right?"

"Of course, Kanji," she smiles. "That man's had it rough. And any friend of yours is always welcome in our home."

My sneakers on and tied, I turn back to my mom. _The way she made that remark..._

"Ma," I start. "How much do you know?"

"When you pay attention, you catch most thing that go on in such a small place."

"I've been wondering about why Adachi was always—" I try, but she shakes her head.

"Kanji," she sighs. "You should always ask people these things directly. You've been the victim of nasty rumors yourself, son. It's not my place to speculate."

I nod quickly, feeling embarrassed I even asked. I take my things and grab my bike that’s leaning against the porch. I pedal fast, feeling bad that I didn't know Nanako's been having so much trouble—That it’s why I haven’t seen much of her.

When I arrive, everything looks normal. I leave my bike on the ground in front of the closed garage and then knock before trying the door. _They've never left it locked. And when the killer had his own key, anyway..._

I can hear Nanako call for me to come in, so I twist the handle, slapping on my biggest smile. "Afternoon, Nana-chan!" I greet her.

She smiles thinly. "Kanji-san," she replies. "Thanks for coming over."

"Yeah," I scratch the back of my neck. "No problem!" I take a seat at the low table and reach into my bag. I produce a finished crocheted penguin. "I sewed his feet on for you." She made it herself last week, but I haven't shown her how to piece them together yet.

She lights up when she sees it. "Thanks!" Nanako places him on the table at her seat, and stares happily at the animal she made.

"So... Wh-what exactly do you want me to do?" I question.

Nanako glances at the stairs. "Can you please see if..." She pauses, shaking her head. "I don't know," the little girl levels with me. "I know he's alive in there, but I'm worried he's probably a mess. Maybe I should just check myself, but I'm scared if he's too sad—I-I don't kn-know what I'll do." She looks like she might cry.

I sigh and scoot over. "C'mere," I say, putting my arm around the kid. "It's okay. You've got me and Yukiko and Teddie and Chie and everyone! Did you call Senpai?"

She shakes her head. "I trust _you_ with this," Nanako says, sniffling a little. "Big Bro's not here, and I know you and Dad hang out together—You're the only one he likes who _isn't_ family. We," she frowns. "We don't have a lot of friends..."

_Well that’s an understatement._

I nod, hugging Nanako. She looks up at me and tells me she misses her 'big bro'. _Man I think I'm gonna cry, too..._

_Keep it together, dumbass!! If you cry in front of the kid, she'll think you don't know what you're doing. Gotta act like I got it together!_

"O-okay," I say, attempting to sound really sure of myself. I hug her again and then stand. "I'm gonna go up there, now." I crack my knuckles, to psych myself up. "And I'm gonna come back down with your dad." I nod a few times and she wipes her eyes.

"Wait," Nanako jumps up. "I made coffee—Bring it with you?" She walks over to the counter and pours black coffee into a dark blue mug. "I hid the red one a while ago," she quietly admits. "I didn't want him to break it..."

"The red one?" I ask, shaking my head.

Nanako bites her lip. "It was Adachi-san's. When I came home from the hospital, I noticed that all of his stuff was gone—He used to let me play his games and listen to his music, but I can't find them anywhere. The pictures we drew together were taken off the fridge... Big Bro had the red mug in his room, and told me to do whatever I thought was best when he left. So I hid it in my desk drawer."

"Kanji-san?" she asks me, looking a lot younger than I've ever thought she was. "Are we just going to forget about him? Like with Mom?"

I'm speechless. _This kid understands so much more than anyone gives her credit for..._

"Kanji-s-san," she starts making little whines. "I don't want to do that again. I didn't like it. I-I d-d-don't want to just _forget_!" Nanako hands me the blue mug and starts crying again.

I place it on the counter and wrap her up in another hug. "Hey—It's okay!" I yell, starting to panic. "Don't worry!!"

She stops crying to giggle a little at me being flustered. "Thanks," she finally replies, getting ahold of herself.

I nod, glancing back to the counter. "Okay. I'll take this and be back in a little while..." Nanako returns my nod, so I take the mug and start for the stairs.

At the top, I head for the only traditional-style door— _That one has to be Dojima's. I've been in both Yuu's and Nanako's rooms, and the other is the bathroom, so..._

I knock on the wall. "Ojisan?" I call. "You in there?" There isn't an answer. _Not that I really expected this to be easy. Don't know what I’m expecting, but definitely not that he’ll let me do this the easy way._

"Ojisan?" I try one more time.

_Nothing._

I suck in a big breath and slide the door open. _And it's chaos._

"Uhh..." I can't say anything as I survey the scene.

The first thing that gets my attention is the pervading stench of alcohol. I see beer cans, those big sake bottles, and little jars of shochu. Dojima himself is asleep or passed out or something, still gripping the neck of one of the bottles of sake. He's in his boxers and only his feet are even touching the futon.

Then there's that box of stuff he told me to push into his room all those months ago. Looks like he's gone through it—Some of the manga is ripped down the spine, I can see some game system with a flip-screen's been snapped in half, and a model gun has been dissembled. There's a PSP near the balcony by itself that looks like it wouldn't snap as easily, so he just smashed the screen with something...

Mostly untouched takeout containers sit near the stash of unopened liquor. There's a sizable pile of laundry in a corner, too.

_Damn._

_Real fucking craptastic._

I close the door behind myself and walk over to Dojima. _What the fuck do I do about this? Is there anyone I can call? I don't think Yosuke-senpai would be any help. Teddie won't know what to do. Don't wanna call the girls about this. My dad's..._

_Yeah. There ain't anybody._

I put the mug of fresh coffee where he probably won't knock it over—Not that it looks like he'll be moving around a lot.

"O-ojisan?" I try saying his nickname again when I'm closer. But he doesn't wake up. _He's definitely alive. I can see that he's breathing._

I try shaking his arm but don't get anything more than sleepy mumbling. I slap his back a few times and he finally rolls over and tries to focus on me. "Whaa? Who?" he slurs.

"It's Kanji," I tightly respond. "What the fuck, old man?"

"Ish... Oh-jee..." He closes his eyes again and I sigh. _He's not gonna be lucid anytime soon._

I start by packing up all the unopened drinks. I cart them into Yuu's room and shut the door. Then I go back downstairs and tell Nanako it's gonna be alright. I take some trash bags and a notepad from her and head back up.

I sort the trash like an adult and then work through what I'm still assuming is Adachi's stuff. Anything broken beyond repair, I make a list of and then add to the trash. Anything still useable goes back into the box, which I also carry to Yuu's room.

Lastly, I walk over to the pile of clothes. _Dirty._ I use a plastic bag to pick them up and see if they're worth saving— _No._ A lot of the articles that look too small for Dojima are cruddy and some are bloody. It doesn't look like they were left here recently, but rather forgotten in the corner and then never dealt with.

_How the fuck long has he been in denial for?_

These have to go. _It's just unhygienic._ The clothes I think are actually his are in better shape, so I stuff them into a bag that I don't tie off. _Need to remember what's what later—His lazy ass can wash them himself._

I crack the door to the balcony to air out the room while I bring the trash down the street to the collection site. On my way back upstairs, I catch Nanako watching me and looking super worried. I reassure her that I've got it under control. _I hope she believes me._

When I'm finished, after what feels like forever, I sit down and lean against the wall. Dojima's still not speaking, and I think he's fallen asleep. I decide to hang around in there until he comes-to. I brought up some water bottles— _He's gonna be dehydrated for sure._

_I thought everything was settled. Both of them are out of the hospital. Yuu's moved home, safe and satisfied. I'm staying close with everyone..._

_I thought Dojima had his life under control, too. He seems to enjoy hanging around with me and going for walks. He's been cleared to go back to work, he likes lifting weights, and we've working on the equipment we put in his basement._

_I thought we were all gonna be okay now..._

_What's it going to take?_

At dinnertime, there are still no signs of intelligent life. I go back downstairs to find that Nanako's already made udon.

"Nice," I remark. "That smells real good!"

She smiles at me and holds out a bowl for me to serve myself. I take a good-sized helping and we sit at the low table to eat together. She stares expectantly until I feel too uncomfortable not to say anything.

"He's, ah, sleeping," I manage. Nanako nods at me.

"I thought so," she replies. "Thanks, Kanji-san."

"Now worries!" I assure her. "A-and you can just call me Kanji—I'm cool with that. We've been seeing a lot of each other."

"Nn," She agrees. "Nanako is okay with me, too."

We eat quietly until I finish my food. I clap my hands and Nanako giggles. "You're so polite for someone who looks so tough!"

"T-thanks," I nervously reply.

She chews on her lip for a minute. "I know why," she tells me.

"Why what?" I ask.

"Why this week is so bad."

 _Does she watch the news?_ I raise my eyebrows for her to go on if she wants.

"This is the first week of the trial. I saw it on TV and everyone is talking about it," Nanako tells me. "Dad was fine when Big Bro was around, acting like he had to keep it together. But now that it's just us again—and Adachi-san is going to be all over the TVs for a long time—he's starting to lose it."

I nod. _I guess you can't miss it when nobody will shut up about it for five minutes..._

"Did he really kill those people?" she asks me, her little face creasing in serious concern.

I sigh and push my hair back from my face. "Nanako..." I know my expression is turning sad, but I can't help it. _I don't want to give her the real answer, but she's gonna find out eventually._

"Probably," I whisper. "It's complicated, but he knew they were going to die."

"Why?" she innocently questions.

I can only shake my head. "I don't know. I really don't—I'm sorry." And I think _I'm_ going to cry if she does!

"He was so nice to me..."

"I know," I affirm. "It's okay to remember that... You can decide what you think for yourself, okay?"

She nods, sniffling again.

I look around the quiet room. "D-do you think it would be okay for me to stay here tonight? I'm thinking of skipping school tomorrow to make sure your dad gets back on track—It's not like I'd get much out of going."

"Really?" she asks, and I can tell she can't help looking happier at my question.

"Yeah." She excitedly begins to collect our dishes, but I rush to take them from her. "I'll do it!" I declare.

"If you want, you can stay in Big Bro's room. I don't think he'd mind..."

I nod. "Cool. Let's head up when we're done cleaning."

Upstairs, I go into Yuu's room and toss my bag on the coffee table. I take a seat on the couch. _I should ask someone to pick up my work._

Scrolling through my cell, I realize the only real friend I have in my year is Naoki. Naoto and Rise left before the new school year began. I've known Naoki since we were little, and I doubt he'd mind picking up my worksheets and sharing notes. I send off a message as Nanako walks into the room carrying some books.

"'Sup?" I smile.

She holds them out so I can see: a storybook and a photo album. "Can we..." She frowns, so I urge her to continue. "Can we look at these together?"

"Of course!" I reply, smiling.

Nanako sits on the couch with me and looks between the two. She finally puts the story down next to her and holds out the photo album to me.

I take it and brace myself for whatever is in here. _So many people have come and gone in her life so far._

She leans against me, so I put my arm around her and am surprised at how tiny she is. I mean—She's only seven, but I forget how small kids are.

"Ready?" I ask and she nods purposefully.

I open the cover and the first picture is of her and her parents. "Big Bro made me a copy and gave me the book to put it in," she explains. "Big Bro started taking photos so I had more."

As we flip the pages there are a lot more shots of her and Yuu and Dojima. One or two more of just her and her parents pop up here and there. Nanako talks about the circumstances surrounding every single one—Even when she wasn't present, she seems to know the story behind the picture.

The furtherer we get, the more I begin to see of Adachi, as well. He pops up here and there with her or Dojima, but never Yuu. "He gave me those," she says. "He liked taking pictures, but forgot to develop them until a long time later."

I nod, listening to more of her memories. The last photo is of Yuu's going away party. We're all sitting around the table, looking both happy and anxious. "You know this one," Nanako giggles.

"I do," I agree. "We should go to Junes sometime and get you your own camera, huh? That'd be fun, right?" She smiles a little. "You're gonna have plenty more to add, _trust me_."

"I think so," Nanako replies, but sounds uncertain.

"I promise!!" I tell her. "And you should never make a promise you can't keep, so I really, really mean it!" I nod seriously and she laughs, saying I look mad.

"You'll keep hanging out with me?" Nanako asks.

I feel myself jump a little. "O-of course! What did you think I was gonna do? I think everyone should come over more! I'll make _sure_ of it."

"Really?"

"Definitely!" I promise again.

"Okay."

I hand her the book back and stand. "So come on," I say. "You should go to bed. I'll be here in the morning and I'll make sure it all works out, so don't worry anymore!"

Nanako yawns and hugs me before heading back to her room. _Now I need to figure out what to do._

I don't sleep well. Most of the night I lay awake on the couch worrying that it might _not_ work out—And now I'd told her that it would.

In the morning, Nanako is up early with me. We eat together and then she leaves to walk to school.

When she's down the road past where I can see, I head back in the house to set Dojima straight. I could hear him moving around earlier, but he hasn't come out of his room yet.

I head right upstairs and shove his door open without warning. He whips his head towards me in surprise. "Kanji?" he asks me.

"Do I look like someone else?" I question.

Dojima sighs and sips his long-gone-cold coffee. "No," he slowly replies. "You look like Kanji."

"And _you_ look like a fucken' mess."

Now he glares, but doesn't contradict me. "Maybe."

I nod. "I picked up your damn trash. All that's left is to clean, because you made a goddamn trash pit out of this place."

Dojima frowns at the floor. "I did go on quite the streak..."

"Yeah," I snort. "And you left Nanako all alone."

"I ordered food," he tries to excuse himself.

" _Nuh-uh!_ " I yell at him. "That shit doesn't fly anymore! You're making this impossible for her!!"

He glances over at me, his face twisted in a hurt expression.

"It _ain't_ all about you—You got a kid, y'know!"

"I know," he admits.

" _And you're really hurtin' her._ "

He looks uncertain at that. "What?"

"Yeah," I repeat. "You _are_. Thought you learned your lesson when Senpai set you straight before. This _isn't_ how you can deal with people leaving you—It hurts her even more because she can't even process!"

Dojima scowls, as if just noticing I've taken away all of Adachi's stuff.

"Listen to me!" I yell and he gives me his attention again. "Do you know what she asked me yesterday?" I wait for him to shake his head and then I lay it out for him. "She asked if this was going to be like with her mom all over again—If you were just gonna pretend that Adachi never existed."

He winces as if I punched him. He takes another sip of his coffee. "She said that? You're telling the truth?"

"Why the fuck would I lie, asshole?!"

He turns away so I can't see his face, but I think he's pretty upset by the angry noise he makes.

I give him a minute before going on. "So today," I prompt him to turn back around. "You and I are gonna scrub this room. Then we're going out to replace all the shit you broke—And _then_ you're giving custody of it to Nanako."

Dojima shoots me an incredulous look.

I snort. "She asked where all the games and stuff went. You can't just take that shit away form a kid!" I shake my head and make sure he's listening good. "Lastly, when she gets home, you're going to apologize and ask her for the mug back. And you’re gonna put it up with the others again."

"Wh-what?" he dumbly shakes his head.

"She says she _hid_ the mug that you gave to Adachi because she thought you were gonna smash it or something. Which seems like a good assumption by the way you trashed almost everything else. _This is hard on her, too dammit!_ " I roar at the end.

Dojima practically crumples, his face turning super sad and the rest of him scrunching down against the wall of the room.

"You need to give her the space to process, too. So we're gonna clean up and you're gonna shape up. You can't keep going on like this."

"I know."

"So let's go,” I tell him, holding out my hand.


	45. Two Steps Forward And— (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryoutarou picks up Tohru and he's acting off. They finish their conversation (confrontation) on boundaries and their trajectory... For Kazoku.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think most of us probably know the common taboo about tattoos in Japan. They're closely associated with gangs/yakuza and illegalness. Many onsen and public baths still do not allow anyone (even foreigners) to bathe at their establishment if they have noticeable tattoos. (Interesting side note: Kanji's tattoo is probably fake! It seems to wash off when he goes in water!!)
> 
> This chapter has taken me SEVEN drafts. No lie. Seven individual drafts that I trashed a few of completely. I've been putting off finishing their argument for about a week. They kept getting too ramped up or Adachi was being too violently angry etc. It's not a full resolution, but I'm planning for a fifth story. I thank everyone for reading this so far and hope you'll continue to watch the these characters (mostly) grow post-P4, as hypothesized by me.
> 
> Thanks to Milligramme again! She helped me talk out a resolution to the guys' argument.
> 
> Please drop me a line if you can! I love hearing any questions, comments or criticisms!!

Chapter Forty-Three: Two Steps Forward And—

(Ryoutarou)

I arrive back at the textile shop a little after two, just as I said I would.

Going in through the back, I can already hear Teddie talking to someone. I make my way to the back room and see Tohru handing things to the boy while he works on loading a machine with string... _Maybe_.

_Don't exactly know what that is..._

When he sees me, Tohru doesn't light up like usual. Instead, he glazes over to that neutral expression I have a hard time chipping away.

"Tohru?" I ask.

He nods while Teddie pauses his work to wave at me. "What?" Tohru replies, no pitch in his voice.

"Let's go home," I say to him, feeling a touch nervous— _That’s not how I left him earlier._

Teddie picks up on the odd way Tohru's acting and takes the rest of the things from his hands. The boy glances between us and then shoves Tohru towards me. "Go on~" he happily tells him. "I can keep watch here!"

"Yeah, okay," Tohru agrees, then quietly walks to the door.

"That started when I came in, right?" I confirm.

Teddie nods. "I don't like it when he does that..."

I sigh. "I don't think anyone does." I walk back into the house and find Tohru by the back door, sliding into his shoes with that bag in tow. "Is everything alright?" I question, placing my hand on his back.

Tohru glances at me but doesn't say anything.

"Tohru?" I try again.

"What?" he looks up at me in a way that I can read as conflicted. But it falls away and he's back to keeping it all tamped down in a few seconds' time.

"Nothing," I decide to pick my battles. I start pushing him gently out the door. "Let's go."

We make it all the way back to the house in relative silence. I ask a few questions about what Tohru worked on today and he gives me very barebones answers. _I don't know what happened to trigger this change, but it can't be good._

I kill the engine and Tohru wordlessly exits the car and unlocks the door. "I'm going to take a nap," he says, dropping his things on the floor and walking to the stairs.

"Want—" I frown. "Do you want me to sit with you?" I take his bag and carry it up— _Don't want to leave a damn gun lying around._

"You should stay down here," he casually remarks, and that's when I decide I am definitely _not_ staying downstairs.

I head up after him. "I'll come."

I hear Tohru sigh. He walks into the bedroom and shuts the door behind himself, literally shutting me out. Getting agitated, I reopen the damn door and then close it behind _myself_.

"You should leave me alone for a while," he tells me.

I narrow my eyes. "Why?"

He takes off his shirt and throws it to the floor, then leans against the wall, his expression darker than before. "I'm feeling particularly erratic."

I lean against the wall next to him. "Let me help. What can I do?"

He lowers. "Nothing. I'm going to take a rest."

I slide my arm behind Tohru and pull him to me. "I can stay with you until it passes."

Tohru goes limp, trying to buckle himself to the floor like an asshole, so I grab him tighter. "C'mon," I groan. "Why don't you try _telling_ me what’s bothering you."

He grunts and stands up again. "Fine. You really want to know, huh?" He grabs my wrists and tugs me away so he can spin around and pin me against the wall, his hands on either side of my torso. I frown, giving him a hard look. "Good job hiding it, because Kanji affirmed that it _is_ my fault you're no longer your industrious little self."

Tohru smirks wryly and goes on. "I've gotta say, I was excited you said we get to spend so much time together; that you're not working all the time anymore—But because you _have_ to? Because of me _again_?” He scowls. “ _No._ ”

“ _Oh for—_ ” I sigh. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. _It’s done_..." I shake my head and hold up a hand. "Can’t change it, so why bother getting yourself worked up?”

Tohru punches the wall and walks away; starts pacing the room. “You keep saying it’s all over, but it’s _not_. We keep getting all these little reminders like the _tea_ —And _Junes_ —And so many things _have changed_ — _And_ —”

“And _what_?” I challenge, running a hand through my hair. “’And what’ next time? It’ll always be ‘ _and something_ ’ if you don’t let it go.” I motion him back over to me. “Can’t it be enough that we have this time together?”

"It's not enough," he sourly tells me. "I told you—Nothing's _ever_ enough."

I warp both of my arms around him and sigh. "It's going to have to be."

“What about that other shit?” he spits, still angry. "Do you want to talk about it now? _Why_ —" he complains. "Why do you have to do this _now_? Why at _all_?"

"Things are good, aren't they?" He's not looking at me but I know he's glowering. "Why do you want to change it?"

I sigh, squeezing Tohru tighter. "I want us to get better—To _be_ better. We shouldn't stay together because we need each other, but because we _want_ to be together."

He sucks in a breath and then breaks away from me. "It can't be both?"

"That's not—" I try. "It's not healthy to be so codependent."

"But it's 'healthy' for _you_ to tell _me_ what I should and shouldn't need or want? I thought you weren't going to 'make' me do anything?" he seethes. "And who gets to decide how we live our lives? You going to listen to Kanji and Ryota over me and you? I thought you weren't letting the others push you around anymore," he goes on, narrowing his eyes—Like he's calculating what he needs to say to get out of this.

"Tohru," I try again. "This shouldn't be difficult. There are two things I need. I'm telling you that I need to let you do things on your own so _you can live your own life_ , and that I need you to stop putting obvious marks on my body that draw more attention."

He folds his arms. "'More' attention than what?"

I groan. _More attention than the fact that we're almost always together._

"I don't want to be uncomfortable if we go to another onsen, or—I don't know—a beach or something. Sometimes people think my scar is a _tattoo_! I don't need more reasons to stick out."

_Life's easier when there isn't so much attention on me._

"I know I keep making up excuses—" I slide down to sit, frustrated that he doesn't—or simply won't—see what the problems are. "I told you the other day, 'oh you can use a computer at the station', when I knew it was probably a poor idea. I tried to get you to turn down that job because I didn't want you around my family— _These aren't things I should be doing!_ "

Tohru shrugs, staring me down with an earnest expression on his face. "I don't mind. I like being around you."

"No, that's—That's not even the point! You _should_ mind." I run my hands through my hair, trying to figure out how to get my point across. "You should want to do your own thing too. You don't always have to be around me."

"Now you're also telling me what I should _like_?" Tohru taunts, leaning down over me—

_I didn't even hear him walk back here. I was too absorbed in my rant._

He looks angry again. He's got his hands on my shoulders and is glaring down at me, gripping them a little too hard. "Knock it off," I sigh and try to push him away.

"Why now?" is all he says. "Why do you want to change everything _now_?"

"Oi, you're a little too tight—"

"I was finally starting to _feel_ —" He's muttering frantically. "What did I do? I don't get it—"

" _Oi_ —" I try again, but Tohru's eyes aren't really focusing on me. His face is close, but it's as though he's not in the driver's seat.

_He's being so difficult._

_But something desperate hides behind his eyes. Something almost—_

I know I'm starting to panic because he isn't answering— _Won't focus on me._

I take a breath and decide it's time to take back control over this situation. He's right up in my face, that intense expression still on his.

I don't like that he's practically smashing me into the wall. _Can't really move away._

Thinking quickly, I slam my head forward, bonking it into his— _Still gets the little asshole every time._ He squinches his eyes shut out of instinct, then yips when we connect.

I knock him over and straddle him so he can't push me around anymore. He may be stronger now, but I'm still much taller and thicker than him. "That's enough," I cooly declare.

"I'm not going backwards!" Tohru loudly blurts, pitching forward to throw me off of him. " _No!_ " he shrieks.

_So much for being calm._

He's already next to me when I'm up again; he's glaring defiantly. "This _isn't_ going backwards," I attempt to reiterate for the umpteenth time.

He doesn't say anything. We just stay there on the floor, staring each other down.

"Why is this bothering you so much?" I finally venture to ask.

"I like things the way they are," Tohru repeats. "I was finally—" He glances up sharply and doesn't finish his sentence.

"Finally what?" I press.

He flicks his eyes around, clearly not wanting to finish his sentence. " _If I say it_ —If I say I'm something like 'comfortable' or— _or something_... If I admit I'm something like 'happy' I'll just lose it— _And_ —" He closes his eyes and presses a fist against one of them.

When Tohru pulls his fist away, I can tell he's going to bolt for the door at any second. I tentatively hold my hand out, and he glances at it quickly, judging if that's the right choice. I open and close my fingers and he huffs but sits next to me.

I wrap my arm around him and pull Tohru close. "What?" he asks, sounding annoyed.

"I love you," I tell him.

"Then listen to me," he replies, actually looking me in the eye. "I know what I'm doing. I know what I want— _I've had a long time to think about it_." He gives me a nasty smirk and I roll my eyes.

"Just let it go," Tohru pleads. "C'mon—Let it go."

I sigh, not wanting to give in like this. "No—But we'll figure it out. Over time..." I pause, trying to put the words together.

_I keep saying we have time... I don't want to push too much._

_Don't want it to feel like I'm driving him away._

_He's so excitable—So many of our conversations have all these hidden mines._

Tohru's still looking me, but he's softened back to studying me instead of the other, serious emotions I felt before. "Don't get so worked up," I say. "Not all of the changes have to be so sudden. We'll get through this like we've gotten through everything else."

"Sure," he agrees placatingly, turning away again.

I can't help smiling at him now. I kiss the side of his face before pulling away so I can stand. "Alright. You feeling better?"

Tohru gazes steadily up at me. "I guess."

"You lying?" I fold my arms and frown.

"Maybe," he chuffs.

I glance at the futon. "You still going to take that rest?"

"No."

"Then help me with something else," I tell him. Tohru raises his eyebrows. "I need to figure out how I'm going to tell Nanako she has another grandmother..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a last note: I'm actually away on vacation. My ipad wouldn't post properly so I had to hijack my mom's work laptop. (Yes? This is adult...?) AND I've had spotty internet and writers' block, but I still feel bad for not updating when I said I would. Gomen'ne!!
> 
> I won't be posting again until Friday morning or evening. So sometime Friday! Thanks again for reading~


	46. Extended Family (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time! Nanako finds out about Yuudai...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up zipping right through this one. It was super easy after the last part. (And my husband was whining for me to post tonight so he has something to read.)

Chapter Forty-Four: Extended Family

(Kanji)

When I get back from my deliveries, Ma is sitting up front organizing while Nanako and Teddie work around the table in the back room. She has out her homework while he attempts to crochet.

_I've gotta give him credit for sticking with it... Probably helps that Nanako gives him pointers while she works._

"How was your trip, Kanji?" she grins at me. "Was Tohru-jisan a pain?"

" _Hunh_ ," I snort. "Was he ever!!"

Teddie laughs nervously and she immediately picks up on it. "Ah—He ah—" Teddie fidgets with the crochet needle until he looses his stitches. "Whoops!"

Nanako helps him put it back together while he tries to _keep_ it together. I shake my head at him when he glances over.

"What now?" Nanako sighs after Teddie's project is in one piece again.

"He was all zoned-out when he left," Teddie confesses. "I don't know why—He was fine the rest of the time!"

I sigh. "Just a lot of tension right now."

Nanako's gaze flicks around the room as she realizes that while Teddie is definitely the weak link, he doesn't really know much. "So what's going on with the job offer?" she assertively questions. "I didn't hear anything else and suddenly everyone was off to the Amagiya."

"That is..." I frown. "Well I'm sure they'll tell you when you get home, but he took it. They worked it all out while we were over there. Something about Kubo and Ryota, too... Your dad and Ito-san hashed out the details while Tohru and Dojima-sama had an interview." I shrug. "Then we just enjoyed the facilities cause it was so late."

"Which Dojima?" she excitedly replies. "One of my cousins?"

I shake my head at the few moments we had together— _She's kind of a bitch_. "No, your gra—" I stop mid-sentence as I realize that I don't know if anyone's told her yet.

_She doesn't seem like she knows._

_Ojisan is angry. And a chicken._

_Tohru wouldn't get in the middle of that._

_—She doesn't know!!_

"Who is it?" Nanako innocently repeats. "Which cousin? I know it's not Big Bro, but I’ve met few of the others, too."

"Y-yeah. I'm not too sure, Nanako... Sorry." I try to smile. "I'm really sorry..."

She frowns and makes a face at me. "That's okay," she lets me know. "I'll just ask Dad later. I should go home soon." She looks over at the bear. "Are you coming for dinner? I also need to probably talk to my dad... More directly. About his drinking."

Teddie watches her carefully, setting down his work when he can she that she's getting upset. "Do you not want me over today?" he questions in a kind tone. "I can stay here if it's easier for you."

_The Bear is..._

_Is he trying to back off? So she can sort out her problem?_

_That's unlike him. He'd usually charge ahead and try to help in his own weird way—And then make things worse._

"Maybe I should go alone today," Nanako agrees with him.

Teddie bits his lip and then grabs her hands, replacing his unsure expression with one of his infectious grins. "It's okay!! Just call me if you want to talk~"

"Thanks, Teddie," she replies.

Nanako collects her things and we all walk her to the back door. "I'll drive you," I say, grabbing my keys.

She nods and says goodbye to Teddie, who wraps her up in a big hug. "It'll be fine!" he reassures her.

_I should really find a way to give them a heads-up—_

I book it out to the car first and fire off a text to Dojima: _'Nanako knows someone from your family is in town. Didn't say who. Let me know you get this.'_

_He's gonna be in some deep shit._

At least I didn't blab. Though she'll probably blame me for not saying anything, either.

Nanako gets in my car and buckles up, so I start the engine and head for her house. "You know what you're gonna say?" I ask. "I know you already made up with Tohru, but you should talk to your dad directly."

"I'm not sure," Nanako frowns. "I've never said anything to his face before..."

"Just tell him what's on your mind. If he doesn't listen, lemme know!" I hold up my fist and she giggles.

"Do you think Tohru-jisan will back me up?" she seriously questions.

_He's not good for much else._

"I do," I tell her. "He..." I haltingly admit. "He seems to really care about you."

_Dunno about Ojisan, but at least he treats Nanako right. If he didn't..._

_Dammit I don't want to fight him! He's too strong. Ojisan's gonna be mad at us. Nanako probably won't be happy._

"Good," she says. "Will you stay, too?"

"Sorry," I shake my head. "I don't think I should."

We're quiet the rest of the ride and I don't hear my phone buzz. _I hope they got that text._

When we arrive, Tohru comes right outside and walks up to the car. "Hi," he says to us.

"Hey Tohru-jisan," Nanako smiles as she gets out of the car.

"Kanji," he calls. "We got your text. Do you wanna sit in on this one?" His arms are folded and his eyes are drifting around as though he isn't happy to be the one inviting me in.

"Are you sure you want me around for this conversation?" I ask in a low voice once Nanako's heading for the door.

He groans dramatically and stomps one of his feet. "Ryou's gonna be a big baby about it—And they haven't seen each other since... _You know_. So maybe park the fucking car and get in the goddamn house?"

Tohru smiles sarcastically at me and slams the door shut before retreating back into his new home. _Ugh. Really don't like him—_

_I keep thinking he’s worth giving another chance and then he does something shitty or stupid._

I pull to the side of the road and leave my car. I calm down for a minute and then walk over to the house. I twist the handle and open the door.

Inside, the happy little family is sitting around the low table with their coffee cups. Dojima jumps up to pour me a mug and carries it over to the table, too.

I take a seat and glance around at the others. _Who's going to make the first move?_

Everyone seems content to simply sip their hot drinks.

Dojima finishes first and then plays with his cup, shooting glances at Tohru. Nanako is second, and when her coffee is gone, Tohru also pushes his mug away even though he still has come creamy shit left in there.

"Dad," Nanako starts. Dojima smiles guiltily at his daughter and clears his throat. "I'm happy that Tohru-jisan threw away the beer. Don't drink anymore—I don't like it, they don't like it, and it's not good for you. It made me really upset to hear that."

All eyes are on Dojima now. "I've already agreed not to buy more liquor for a while. We'll see how it goes," he noncommittally replies.

Nanako narrows her eyes but doesn't push it more. Tohru nods placatingly to the both of them, trying to offer a not-really-convincing smile.

Dojima looks around the room, stopping his gaze on me as if asking a question. His expression seems a little ashamed at what he's going to bring up next. I shake my head slightly. _Can't avoid this forever, old man._

"Nanako," he starts, and his voice cracks a little. The girl frowns and studies her father— _Probably knows nothing good is going to come out of his mouth after a look like that and the way he said her name, as if he knows she's going to be really pissed._

He clears his throat and tries again. "You have a grandmother," he says very mechanically.

Nanako makes a face. "Yeah—Did something happen to mom's parents?" she quietly questions. "I saw them a few months ago. Is obaachan alright?"

She turns to me and I almost put my arm around her, but with her real family I should restrain myself. I smile a tiny bit, hoping it looks reassuring.

"Hnn— _That's not—_ " Dojima sighs. "I mean _my_ mother." He glares at the surface of the table. "She wants to see you."

"No, I—" Nanako shakes her head. "I thought she was..." Dojima isn't looking at her.

After an awkward silence, Tohru takes over. "She's alive," he says aloud. "But Ryou has his reasons for not telling you about her," he frowns and chews on his lip. "She wasn't—" He sighs and glances at Dojima, who's still not saying anything more on the subject.

Tohru frowns and fidgets. He definitely looks like he's trying to piece together the truth in a way that doesn't make either Dojima look too terrible— _And that’s a balancing act I’d rather not take up._ "Your grandmother was very harsh about a lot of things when your mom passed away, so your dad thought it was better if you didn't have to see her. We’re all sorry no one told you."

Nanako seems like she’s trying to process this turn of events. Her young face shows shock and then something else— _Like she’s just realizing he apologized for all of us._

"I—I did know, too," I admit, claiming my own portion of the blame. "Ojisan told me a long time ago, but it's not my place to tell you stuff he isn't ready to."

Now she turns to me and her face is hard. "You knew _too_ , Kanji?" she agitatedly questions. Then she turns back to Tohru. "How long did _you_ know?"

Tohru holds up his hands. "Less than a week," he says. "She's the one who I'm going to be working for—And she's in town. We were thinking you might wanna see her before she goes back home."

Nanako looks like she's been punched in the gut. " _You all,_ " she spits as she fights off tears. "You've _all_ seen her? Except _me_?!" She whips her head back and forth between all of us.

"I told them not to say anything," Dojima volunteers. "I didn't want you to have to be around her—She's—" He disgustedly shakes his head. "She isn't kind."

" _You aren't kind!_ " she practically yells back. "All this time and no one told me?! _No one_ —When we have more family? How—" The tears start to spill, so Nanako quickly swipes at them while she gets to her feet. She runs upstairs. We hear her door slam and know she wants to be left alone.

Dojima looks gloomy and distressed. He pounds his fist on the floor, so Tohru slides over and wraps am arm around him. There's nothing _I_ can do—For any of them.

_Ojisan dug this hole by not telling Nanako for ten whole years, when he's constantly been stressing how important family is to him. Nanako's always missed her mom and those grandparents live so far away... She only gets to see them once or twice a year as it is, and Dojima-sama is so close. Nanako could've even seen her when she went to Yuu's those few times._

Tohru's practically on top of Dojima now. He's hunched over behind him with his arms hanging down hugging the other man, while Dojima's got his head in one of his hands and he's making angry noises. Tohru's trying to tell Dojima that he knows Dojima did what he thought was right, and that's true— _He just doesn't know what the best decision always is._

"You gotta stop shutting Nanako out," I say. It slips away from me before I can think better of it.

"Yeah," Tohru nods, and I'm surprised that he agrees with me. "Should one of us go talk to her?" He glances up at me and I frown, not sure.

_He’s got his hands full._

"I'll go up," I finally offer, not wanting to just sit around while even Tohru gets to do _something_ useful.

Tohru nods, still glomming onto Dojima. He looks happy enough that he doesn't need to leave him alone. He mouths something to me that looks like “tag you’re it”.

I roll my eyes. _At least he took this seriously._

I climb the stairs and walk down the hall. Knocking on the door, I tell Nanako it’s me. She doesn't say anything at first, but then says that I can come it. I slowly open the door and see she's sitting on her bed—Only room in the house with an actual bed.

I see her defensively slip something under a blanket as she wipes her eyes. Then she sighs and pulls it back out: it's the old photo album.

"You still look at that a lot?" I question and she nods.

"I have the newer pictures from the camera you bought me," she quietly tells me. "I could've had photos of my other grandmother, too..."

I sit on her desk chair and exhale. "She’s tough, you know. It's definitely where you two get your stubbornness from." Nanako nods, taking that in. "She's kinda mean too, y'know—She was picking on your dad a lot, plus Tohru and me."

"That's not a good reason for Dad to lie!" she counters.

“I know!” I groan. “I ain’t saying it _is_ , I’m just sayin’ to cut him a little slack,” I sigh. “Are you two always gonna fight from now on? It’s exhausting!” I flop backwards on her bed and Nanako stifles a laugh.

I look up at her and she stares back down at me, smiling a little bit. “Okay...” Nanako takes a deep breath. “It happened—So now what? I want to see her. Tohru-jisan said I could, right?”

I nod. “Yeah. You wanna go talk to them about it?”

“In a minute,” she nods back. Nanako moves her gaze to the picture book again. “Will she... Like me?”

“Aww man,” I roll my eyes. “ _Of course_ she’ll like you!” I laugh. Nanako smiles more. “Are you kiddin’ me right now?! She’s adores your cousin, and how could she not like _you_?”

Nanako giggles and I think we’re past the worst of it. “She’s not going to be angry that I haven't seen her?”

“Uuh—You have, but you were little.” I fold my arms over my chest. “And I think she knows it’s not your fault.”

“Okay. Then I want to see her.” Nanako nods again, looking more confident. “I really do want to see her...”


	47. Not Ready to Talk (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all agree that Yuudai can drop by on Sunday. Tohru cooks dinner for everyone. The guys have a soak together and get in an argument. They end up fine by the end of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has anyone else noticed that Tohru’s starting to attempt to process and dissect his feelings? It’s fun to write. And it becomes a little more apparent today~
> 
> We’re slowly plugging along towards the end of Kazoku. “Events” left include the guys hashing out the truth now that Doujima knows about the TV World, telling Nanako about adding Adachi to the koseki, Yuudai coming over Sunday, the fight Monday, and then a wrap-up to tie everything together!
> 
> Tomorrow another Kanji flashback? I had at least one more I wanted to do.
> 
> Lastly: the end of Friday marks two weeks that Tohru’s been back home~ D’AWWW!!! (Enjoy their newest argument... lol)

Chapter Forty-Five: Not Ready to Talk

(Tohru)

_Well that went better than 'absolute disaster'._

Kanji just went upstairs and I'm still trying to get frigging Ryoutarou to lighten up. He knew this was going to be a hard thing to tell her— _It shouldn’t be a shock._

"When they come back downstairs," I try. Ryoutarou takes his hand away from his face and looks over his shoulder at me. " _You_ tell her we’re thinking Sunday. At least give the good news, too."

He frowns and closes his eyes. "That's not going to fix this."

I enthusiastically pat his arms a few times. " _It's a start._ And when Nanako meets her, she'll probably understand part of why you didn't want her to in the first place." Ryoutarou opens his eyes to roll them at me. "You think that woman's going to play nice for long?"

"You get along with her better than I do," he sulks. "Bastards tried to trick me the other day..." Ryoutarou sighs and slumps forward, dragging me off the ground until I stick out my feet. "If she's not nice to Nanako—That's _why_ I didn't want to do this!"

"I thought you were going to stop being so overprotective," I scoff.

"This is—" Ryoutarou grimaces and I cut him off.

" _It's always 'different' when it involves you being wrong,_ " I yell at him. "Stop doing that!"

He grunts and tries to shove me away. " _I'm supposed to protect my family_."

"Augh—Come off it," I admonish, not letting go. "We generally don’t need that shit. And sometimes protecting involves getting along and being the bigger person and— _spoiler alert_ —this is one of those times. So you're going to have to shut up and eat a ration of shit and let Nanako figure out if you were right or not on her own. She isn't dumb; she'll figure it out if she's being fooled."

When I finish speaking, we can hear footsteps above us and know that they must be coming back down any minute. I get off Ryoutarou and collect all the mugs. I bring them to sink and run the water, waiting for Nanako and Kanji to reappear.

When they're back in the living room, Nanako speaks. "I want to see her."

I turn around from the sink and watch Ryoutarou expectantly. "Sunday," he tells her. "We'll have her over."

"Alright," Nanako replies before looking over at me.

I shrug. _What does she want from me? I don't really have a say in this._

"Lunch," Ryoutarou adds.

Nanako nods in agreement. "I'm going back upstairs," she says. "Let me know when it's time for dinner."

"Okay," I break in. "I'll start on it now." I walk to the fridge and take out the cabbage and pork, searching for ginger to go with it all. "Is Kanji staying?" I ask.

The asshole looks surprised I'm inviting him. _He did help us out. It would be rude to—_

_Since when the fuck do I care about being 'rude'?!_

I slam the cabbage on the counter and Kanji jumps. "I think I'll head home."

"It's alright," Ryoutarou waves him over. "Stay if you want."

I take the wok off its hook to heat it and then start chopping vegetables. _Maybe he'll still leave._

I glance over my shoulder to notice that Kanji sees Ryoutarou staring at him all hopeful. _Fuck._

"I'll stay," Kanji relents and takes a seat at the low table with Ryoutarou. I flick on the rice cooker and stew.

Nanako surveys the scene and then goes back up to do whatever the hell she does in her room— _I know she doesn't have any homework left for the semester._ Now it's just me and the bros over there.

"Wanna watch the game?" Ryoutarou typically asks Kanji and the kid flicks it on.

_That's what I need for background noise. Baseball._

_I think I prefer the quiz shows._

"Tohru cooks?" I hear Kanji question between them discussing some team.

 _What does it look like punkass?_ I slice the pork next and then carry everything to the stove.

"Yeah," Ryoutarou replies in a decidedly mushy tone. "His meals are great!"

Kanji laughs. "I wouldn't have expected that!"

_I wouldn’t have expected him to enjoy cooking either._

I start sautéing the ginger and add a few other spices. _Well_ _Ryoutarou can't cook—Much. Someone has to._

"He's good at so many things I'm not," I hear Ryoutarou concede in a quiet voice. "I appreciate that he picks up a lot of my slack."

_I only started cooking for you. I was fine on instant food and takeout. I just wanted you to know that I—_

_Fuh! Not that I'd ever be caught dead admitting any of that. I don't want him to know I did it for him. Don't want to look too desperate or—_

_(Or like I was in—)_

_Or preemptively caring. That’s the phrase I want._

I add the pork and then cabbage, flipping the ingredients around. _I should make okonomiyaki again sometime. They don't sell it around here._

_Hell—We could visit Osaka. I can go wherever I want now. Haven't been there in years!_

"You pick up his slack?" Kanji evenly questions.

"Hnn. It's more like I push him when he needs to do something he doesn't want to."

_I'll fucking say. Making me—_

_Dammit. I'm not going over all that again._

The food's about done so I turn everything a few more times and shut the gas. "Okay," I call. "Someone get Nanako."

Kanji quickly makes for the stairs and Ryoutarou comes over to help me bring everything to the table. He scoops rice into large bowls and then I dump the meat and veggies on top.

When I place the pan in the sink to run the water, I don't expect a hug, though I should be used to Ryoutarou's touchiness by now. It's just a few seconds but he wraps his arms around me and whispers "thank you". Then he's gone, carrying all the food over to the low table, while I'm left both flustered and overwhelmed at the intimacy in the small gesture.

_Fuck._

_It’s things like that..._

I sigh and take a few minutes to scrub the pan before returning to the table. When I go to my seat, the other three are already sitting as well.

"Let's eat," Ryoutarou declares and we all dig in.

Kanji takes a few bites and then picks through his bowl, scowling while he seems to search through my roster of ingredients. "What?" I ask him, feeling a surge of annoyance. "Not as good as yours?"

"No," he amiably replies. "It _is_ good. I wanted to know what was in it so I could make something similar."

Taken aback, I set my bowl down on the table to process the compliment. Ryoutarou kicks my foot and smiles encouragingly. "I told him you're a good cook."

I try to return the smile, but am still unsure how much I want to trust-slash-be-friendly-with Kanji. "It's just shougayaki with cabbage instead of the usual vegetables," I slowly state, picking my bowl back up.

Ryoutarou kicks me again and I sigh.

"I can show you next time," I grudgingly add. Ryoutarou claps me hard on the back, grinning, and I almost drop my chopsticks. _Yeah, I get it..._

We spend the rest of the meal talking about inane, everyday topics. After we're done, Nanako and Kanji offer to do the dishes so I roll back on the floor and close my eyes.

_Today was shit._

I feel somebody gently rubbing my head and when I open my eyes, Ryoutarou is leaning over me smiling. "What?" I tiredly ask.

His face falls. "I can't just want to..." he trails off and looks away. _So now he's going into affectionate mode?_ "Lets go take a bath."

_I swear I can't keep up. And they say I have insane-level mood swings!_

Ryoutarou tugs on my hand until I stand. "I'm ready for bed right now," I mumble and he chuckles.

"We're going up for the night," Ryoutarou announces. "Do either of you need anything?"

"Kanji's going to stay for a while," Nanako tells us.

"That's fine," Ryoutarou replies, much more interested in spending time with me.

_I really want to just crash on the futon. Don't feel like a bath at all._

But here I am, washing up while the tub fills. Ryoutarou's still hyper-insistent on the back-washing tradition, so we take turns scrubbing each other, too.

He gets in first and then I climb over the side and sit stretched out, facing Ryoutarou. "Ahh I'm exhausted~" I whine.

"You're the one who said you wanted to make sure we keep doing this," Ryoutarou remarks with a mock-serious expression; eyebrows raised innocently. I splash him and groan.

“Yeah yeah,” I frown. “You sure this isn’t something I need to do on my _own_?” I jibe.

Ryoutarou rolls his eyes. “Don’t be an asshole.”

I shrug and hold up my hands.

“You,” he carefully starts, his eyebrows coming together in something that isn’t quite a frown. “Really did help me today. Thank you.”

I slide down so only my eyes and forehead show, and I glare.

Ryoutarou nudges me with his foot. “Oi—I’m _trying_ to be appreciative,” he grunts.

I pop back up and fold my arms. “Yeah I did help you.” I narrow my eyes. “So you _should_ be thankful.”

We stare for another minute or so—Me glaring and him seeming only mildly annoyed, like I’m now just a minor nuisance. _Which I find irritating for some reason._

Sighing, Ryoutarou finally yanks on my legs to pull me closer. He puts an arm around me so I don't lean back underwater. “Is there a reason I don’t know about why I can’t thank you?”

“I don’t go for simple platitudes,” I assert. “That’s not my thing.”

He nods. “I know. A _lot_ of things aren’t ‘your thing’.” His face twists into a warped smile. “But I’ve learned over the years that you’ll come to regret the things you don’t say when you feel you want to.”

I don’t let my own expression change, but I cock an eyebrow, waiting.

“It’s why I’m so adamant about telling you that I love you so often.”

I grunt a laugh. “That’s very un-Japanese of you, for someone who acts so traditional.”

“I’d say I’ve made a few very nontraditional choices in the past few years,” he pointedly remarks.

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, just being with a guy wasn’t enough—You had to pull one out of the maximum-security cage~”

Ryoutarou winces, before closing his eyes and exhaling slowly. “Why do you joke about those things?”

I shrug. “Breaks the tension.”

“ _Creates_ tension,” he corrects.

“I’m sure I can fix that~” I smirk and reach down—

Ryoutarou grips my wrist and yanks my hand back up. “ _Cripes_ —Have a serious conversation with me!!”

“Aah that’s no fun,” I complain. He releases me and I do lean away from him. “We’re supposed to be serious tomorrow. I have to be serious _now too_?”

Slapping a hand to his forehead, Ryoutarou makes an aggravated noise. “Don’t dodge important questions.”

“Don’t _ask_ important questions when we’re supposed to be relaxing,” I shoot back.

“Alright,” Ryoutarou says. “Okay; fine. I’ll lay off for now.”

We end up sitting in silence for a few minutes. Then Ryoutarou says we should get out, so he pushes me off of him and hands me my towel. We dry off and I pull on the same shorts as earlier. Ryoutarou wrinkles his face at me while changing into clean boxers and tying a robe over it.

He takes out a cigarette and I light it for him. He looks at me while he smokes. “You aren’t going to put on something clean? Or at least a shirt?”

“To walk down the hall and take it all off again? Naah I’m good, thanks~”

Ryoutarou pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head at me before opening the door and walking to our room. “You’re...”

“ _Charming!_ ” I supply.

He laughs so hard that smoke comes out of his nose. “I _did_ say that, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did,” I nod, cracking up as well. “When I was being a total jerk.”

The second the door is closed, I dramatically rip off my shorts and throw them at the dirty laundry pile in the corner of the room. Then I place my lighter at the head of the futon and snuggle down under the covers— _I can never be too warm._

I can hear Ryoutarou sighing in a fond way as he finishes his cigarette. “I’m opening the door and having another,” he says and I tell him to quit it and just get over here.

He listens to me and does come to bed. I’m about to roll over and hug him like usual, when I feel Ryoutarou scoot closer and wrap his arms around me for once. I tip my head back and connect with his face. “Oww, Tohru,” he grunts. “Just stay there and be happy.”

“Whatever,” I yawn, but I am glad.

“I love you,” he tells me as we both start to drift off.

_I..._


	48. The Taste of Black Coffee (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji and Nanako chat in the present. Then another Kanji and Ryoutarou flashback. This one takes place after Kanji’s flashback in “Okaeri”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could not find a name for the kid that Kanji made the stuffed animal for. They say his friend’s name (Sana), but not his. I’ve dubbed him Kousuke. If he HAS a name and anyone knows it... PLEASE TELL ME!!

Chapter Forty-Six: The Taste of Black Coffee

(Kanji)

"See?" I grin at Nanako as we take up residence on the couch after the old men go upstairs. She passes me another mug of coffee and sips at her own. "Things will get better. You can see the witch this Sunday."

"Kanji," she says in a jokingly exasperated voice. "Make sure you're nice to my grandmother!"

I frown back, also playing around. "Well if she calls me names again..."

Nanako giggles. "She's really like Dad?"

"She's not too _different_ ," I carefully reply. "You can really get along with anyone though, Nanako! I don't get how you can stand Tohru, but you two are always playing around."

"You'd be surprised," she tells me, dropping into a more serious tone. "I have trouble with some of my classmates. They made fun of me because they thought I was spoiled—By you and Teddie. And now they're circulating rumors about Tohru-jisan."

She sighs. "Most of which are probably true, but it's hard... Since he started going out, people have been really mean. I usually ignore it, but today one of the kids in another class said something about Dad that really upset me. I was close to snapping, but Kousuke stopped me."

"Kousuke? Really? Good for him—You shouldn’t lose it at school," I agree. "It makes things difficult all the way through. Lemme know and I can scare them for you!" I say, trying to lighten the mood.

But by the hard look on her face, I feel like she's considering the offer for real. After a minute of brooding, she offers up a small smile and I can tell the impulse has passed.

"We'll get through it," Nanako affirms. "We always do."

"That's right!" I agree and pump my fist. "We’ll be fine cause we’re strong. It took me a long time to realize that meant more than bein’ tough and using my physical strength, but you seem to have it down good.”

“Kousuke,” I try to remember. “He’s the kid I crocheted for, isn’t he?”

"Mm,” Nanako nods. “We’re friendly because I always talked to him when he was around the shop. It’s too bad he’s always busy these days.”

“Yeah?” I ask. “I heard he was doing kendo.”

“Competitively,” Nanako reminds me. “But at least I have a few more friends at school. Last week...” Nanako sighs and takes a minute to have another drink. “I forgot until a few days ago, but Dad was encouraging me to get to know more of my classmates, and even antisocial Tohru-jisan said it makes things easier.”

_She doesn’t look happy to have been given that advice. But I have to agree with them._

“I had a much better time after I got to know everyone.” I groan at the frustrating memories of before the senpai gave me a chance. “People always had this idea of how I was and a lot of them stupidly thought I was a bully. Cause I was a loner for so long, it got harder as time went on. So there is something to what they’re saying.”

Nanako smiles in a sad way. “I figured, but when you’ve been through things like we have, all their drama seems so trivial. I hate to say it,” Nanako quietly tells me, staring hard at her dark coffee. “But it almost makes me resentful.”

\---***---

Adachi's trial started in the beginning of May, and after Dojima stopped showing up to work the week it began, the Chief decided he needed another bout of time off. Once he got his act together— _again_ —we went back to working out every day.

Then he started asking me all these weirdly specific questions that were obviously about how to deal with Adachi. He had more than a week left of this stretch of leave, so when he asked me to drive up to Tochigi with him, there was no way I could say no.

"Kanji—Are you doing anything important this week?" Dojima nervously asks me while we're sitting outside his house, drinking coffee.

I shake my head. "Not really. No tests or nothin'. What's up?"

"Would you..." Dojima makes an angry noise and scowls at the ground. I wait patiently for him to go on.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, he stubs out his cigarette and turns to me, still looking really angry. "Would you come with me to Tochigi Prefecture on Friday?"

I slowly nod, knowing this has been a hard decision for him to reach. "I can do that."

Dojima's expression softens to worry. "I'd be taking you out of school. Would your mom mind?"

"Naah," I snort. "She knows I do my best, and I'll probably be taking over the store."

"Thanks," he says to me. "You're a good kid, Kanji."

I fold my arms. "And you're straightening out, Ojisan. I'm glad."

"Don't be an asshole," he sarcastically tells me, taking my empty cup back in the house.

A few days later, we're packed into his car with enough black coffee and jerky that we won't need to stop on the way there or home, even though it's gonna be a whole-day event. _Ojisan's worried that if we stop he'll lose his nerve..._

Dojima pulls into our driveway early in the morning. I say bye to my Ma and get in the passenger's seat. "Mornin'," I say to him.

"Kanji," Dojima nods, sipping from a can of coffee all twitchy. By the plastic bag already stuffed with a few more cans, I wonder how long he's been up for— _If he even slept._

"Have you told Nanako?" I question when we're exiting the town center.

Dojima laughs bitterly. "I'd rather she not get it into her head that she should see him, too. I doubt he's going to make this anything but _an absolute Hell for me_."

Unable to put up any sort of argument, I simply open my own can of coffee. "I'd offer to drive," I say. "But y'know... Only sixteen and all."

He laughs for real this time. "You gonna get a bike like the others this summer? Or chase them around on your bicycle again?"

"Yeah ha ha!" I sharply reply. _But it was pretty funny. I have a good time hanging out with the senpai._

_Speaking of everyone... Some of the others have gone to see Adachi and ask him the traditional questions. I've had zero interest in seeing the rat. He can rot for all I care—He killed my friend's sister, dammit!!_

_But it's driving Ojisan nuts thinking about Adachi. He's made sure the bastard's treated mostly alright through his connections, but he hasn't spoken to him directly—And from what I've heard Adachi doesn't wanna see Dojima either._

_Big bunch of wusses, not facing each other._

_From what he asked me, I think Ojisan still likes him or something. Which is unfortunate, to say the least._

_Does he even get that it's Adachi's fault that Nanako almost died?_

We're mostly silent, listening to the radio or one of his CDs—Including the Ozaki I gave him months ago. _I am kinda stoked he liked it enough to keep it in his car. Means I picked a good gift._

We're maybe an hour out when I decide to broach the untouched giraffe in the room. "You know what you're gonna say?" I ask Dojima.

He sighs and sticks a cigarette into his mouth, then takes out a pack of matches and fumbles one lit. "Do I look like I know what I'm doing, kid?" he demands. "I'm about to go see my partner, the serial killer, whose trial is going in a poor direction. If he doesn't say what they wanna hear, he's going to be locked up for life and committed."

"So...?"

" _So_ ," Dojima sighs out a cloud of smoke. "This is going to be fucking torture, but if I don't go I don't know what'll happen to him. _I have to_." He says that last bit very defensively.

Dojima aggressively takes a few more inhalations of the cigarette before going on. "He's going to give me hell, I know it," he quietly tells me. "But I deserve some of it, too."

"What?!" I shout back. " _Why_ would you think that??" I smack the dashboard until he punches my shoulder to get me to stop.

"I should've figured it out. Or helped him. Or— _Or something!_ " he fumes. "Something was obviously wrong, but I just... He was acting weird—Getting hurt a lot—! _I said it was gonna be alright and—_ ” He punctuates that with a punch to the steering wheel.

“How could I have told him I'd help him when I didn't realize something had _already_ gone so wrong? I'm a goddamn _hypocrite_!!" Now _he_ bangs on the dash hard a few times until I have to grab the wheel.

Realizing he seriously needs to calm down, Dojima pulls the car over to the side of the scenic highway and gets out to stomp around and have another cigarette. "Hate these _fucking matches_!" he spits. " _Hate that I got so used to—_ "

After he kicks a tree for at least half a minute, Dojima seems calmer. Or at least less violently angry.

He returns to the car when his pack is empty. He tosses it into the backseat, where several more crushed cans have already missed the trash bag. Dojima reaches over to open the glove compartment, which holds several more packs of his brand, along with some snacks and a soda.

"Ooh," I comment and reach for the soda.

But I stop short when I can see that's making him angry again. "Uuh—Sorry," I manage.

"No," Dojima sighs. "Have it. _Please—Just get it out of my car_. No one else's gonna drink it now—Nanako isn’t big on soda, either. Y-you want that other shit, too?" I look through the small bags of chocolate-covered potato chips, half-finished packages of Hi-Chew, and loose ramune candy.

"I'm good," I reply and he frowns, shoving the soda into my hands. Then he yanks all the sweet snacks from the compartment and furiously stuffs them into the bag in the backseat.

When he's finished, Dojima takes out another cigarette. "Well at least that's done. Clean and new again..."

I finish the soda quickly and throw away the metal bottle. _I'd figured the snacks were for Nanako._

We're quiet again. _I really don't know what’s even safe to say after the last few outbursts._

We arrive in the mostly-empty lot around two in the afternoon. Dojima doesn't get out for a while. He sits in the driver's seat and fiddles with his tie. "Need to look professional so I can get more sway," he mumbles.

I nod, trying to keep myself in the background.

"Sorry I can't bring you along..."

_Don't worry: I'm not._

"Usually only family is allowed in at this point. I had to call in more favors," Dojima sighs. "I'll have to deliver on a few of those... Things like picking up some of the slack in understaffed stations one weekend a month. Going to be a pain in the ass."

He grabs his jacket and actually puts it on for once. "But I..." He sighs again as he kills the motor. "I have to _do something_ ," Dojima says it almost like he's begging for this to be the answer.

"You'll be fine," I tell him, patting the old man's shoulder. "I'll be here if you need me." I take my travel bag from the backseat and pull out my latest project. _I'll be here a while. He's gonna have to jump through a bunch of hoops and practically strip for security._

"Here I go," Dojima mutters and gets out of the car.

I spend the next few hours knitting and making patterns. When I get bored of that, I open a magazine that has maps of trails in the Inaba-Okina area. I mark off a list of where I want to go for the summer while I eat more jerky.

Dojima comes back looking like _hell_. Thankfully, he makes it all the way to the car before losing his shit.

Once the door's closed, Dojima beats the steering wheel a bunch of times and screams about the most obscene string of swears I've ever heard. He's panting like he ran sprints when he’s finished.

"You okay?" I stupidly ask— _What else are you supposed to do in a situation like this?_

"It started out poorly. He kept taunting me and going on and on about how dumb I am and that I should leave him alone because aren't I happy he's gonna die in prison?" Dojima smacks the wheel again for good measure. "I finally left after he cracked his only unbroken finger. Probably shattered—It was bent in half. The wrong way. There was bone showing."

Dojima laughs without humor. "Boy did I catch hell for _that_. Didn't press the buzzer when it happened—I took a minute to finish our 'conversation' before they took him away. If the guards have to be called, you're done for the day."

"Can they fix it?" I question. _Sounds bad._

"Doctors in prisons are generally quacks, but I'm going to make goddamn sure it gets splinted or whatever the hell you need for something as disgusting as that— _That_!" Dojima spits.

He reaches around his seat to grab one of the now-warm cans of black coffee. "Let's get the fuck out of here. I've had enough bullshit for one day—But..."

He sighs in a way that I know exactly what's coming next. "Thank you, Kanji.” He stalls and sips his coffee. “I-I'll be coming back next week... Just so you know."

 _Don't know if this trip helped or made things worse._..


	49. Zuutto (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through their morning interactions, Tohru begins to open up a little more about how he sees relationships and what prison was like. Ryoutarou tries to give Tohru the space to talk it all out, and then reassure him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!TRIGGER WARNING TODAY!!!  
>  This includes past, referenced abuse of all kinds. The abuse itself is not explicit, but other parts (like half) of the chapter are definitely M.
> 
>  
> 
> “Zuutto” is one of my favorite Japanese words. It has many nuanced meanings, including (but not limited to): always, continuously, forever, the whole time, all the way, much better, far away, long ago, direct, throughout, straight, by far. And with the tough topics the men talk about—directly for once—a lot of these words apply.
> 
> Read the endnotes for more info on prison in Japan, as well as a list of current and referenced flashbacks.
> 
> Thanks (as always!) for reading! I’d love to hear thoughts on the last bundle chapters, where we’ve had flashbacks and now actual conversations on the past. I’ve been getting more than ten hits a day so I know you’re all out there!!! :P I want to examine real-world consequences, as I’ve been harping on, but don’t want to veer too much into pity-territory. It’s a tough balancing act that I think I’m barely holding together.
> 
> Unfortunately I haven't been sleeping well and found myself nodding off (or waking up out of a sound slumber) at the keyboard a few times while editing. There may be more errors than usual, even though I didn’t see them.

Chapter Forty-Seven: Zuutto

(Ryoutarou)

I follow my usual Saturday routine even though I have a bad feeling today isn’t going to be normal—What with us attempting to hash everything out.

_Will I really get answers to my questions? Now that I know more about the gods and the demons and the TV Land, will it really excuse anything or instead compound all the wrongs even further?_

I rise, start the coffee, get the paper, cook for Nanako and I, eat and read, and finally bring coffee upstairs when she leaves. I place the cups at the head of the bed where _someone_ definitely won’t knock them over. Then I sit and light a cigarette.

I smoke and sip my third cup of coffee. _Peaceful..._

_The way I like my mornings._

_The way I like my house._

_The way I like..._

When the coffee’s gone, I reach out my foot and nudge Tohru. He groans but otherwise doesn’t move or stick any part of his body out from under the covers. I poke him a few more times before taking away the covers.

“ _Augh!!_ ” the screeching starts right up and I chuckle. It’s mostly for show, but the way he shouts at the exact second his head shows is always amusing.

“Ahh, c’mere Tohru,” I say and pull him over to me. He sits up and leans on me, then I hand him his mug of coffee, made the way he likes—

Tohru grimaces at the warm mug in his hand. “Will I ever like coffee?” he asks, pretending to gag when he takes his first sip.

I smile and bring my hand up to rub his head. At that, Tohru quickly abandons the coffee and drapes his arms around my shoulders.

“Alright,” I tell him. “Back up—Too close. Don't you want to eat?”

He frowns and tries to kiss me so I get the picture. “Oi—Cigarette!” I admonish, yanking it out of my mouth. “ _Be careful._ ”

I hold it out behind myself and meet his lips. “You wanna do that now?” I question. _I wanted to make headway in our conversation before it inevitably devolves into an argument._

Tohru leans back and falls to the bed, looking annoyed. “ _Are you_ gonna want to have sex _after_ asking me fifty questions about being a murderer?”

I stare dumbly for a minute.

_I’ve done a good job steadily continuing to push the harsher truths away._

“You’re gaping,” Tohru yawns. “Really not attractive…”

I sigh and stub out my cigarette. Then I lean over to kiss him and he smirks into my mouth. "Talk about attractive," I mutter and when I pull away, Tohru’s laughing in a genuine manner. _Makes me happy to see that._

He kneels so we're at an even height and tugs on my shirt to pull it over my head. "Too bad," he sardonically tells me. "You actually put on a tee-shirt..."

"I'm sure you're _very_ apologetic," I reply and he laughs again.

Pulling Tohru closer, I kiss him again as I start to gently skim my fingertips all over him—His sides, back, chest, arms...

Tohru makes an annoyed noise, so I stop, waiting to see if I’ve actually done something wrong, or if it’s more of his usual complaints.

"Stop treating me like I'll break," he grunts, pushing me back. "I don't do that to you."

I smile wryly. "You should know by now that's not what this is about." He's got his hands on either side of my torso, pinning me, and he's glaring defiantly. I sigh and reach up to rub his neck and then shoulder.

He squirms and makes an aggravated noise. "Then why do you do that?"

"Because I want to touch you. What do I keep saying?" I challenge, moving lower and adding my other hand when he doesn't protest again. I end with his hips and smile fondly at him.

"Which thing?" I can tell Tohru's trying hard not to act as though he likes it—Simply twitching involuntarily and gritting his teeth instead of how he usually just lets his voice go.

_I don't understand why it makes him so jumpy._

I want to love him. To make him _feel_ loved.

"There's no rush— _We have time_." I lean in to kiss Tohru again and he cautiously returns it. "Don't be so antsy," I murmur, trailing my lips up his jawline. "It's all a part of the process."

This time Tohru does groan. He leans himself against me; grinds into my leg. "I want to get to the good part," he protests.

" _It's all the good part,_ " I scoff. "This—" I breathe. "This is the difference between just screwing and making love. I want to touch all of you—Can't get enough."

I press him away from me so I can lean down and brush my lips over where his heart is. He hisses in surprise and keeps squirming while I kiss the area gently, taking as long as I want.

I finally lean back again because he keeps pushing me away. "Come on," Tohru whines. "It's too much!" He's _very_ flushed and looking really impatient.

I can't help the smug smile I feel stretching across my face. "I thought you wanted _everything_. Couldn't get enough..." I grin. "Now I'm too much?"

"Tell me," I entreat. I wrap my arms around him and pull him back to me. "What do you want me to do? We can do whatever you want."

I watch as his gaze darts around the sparse room and I have to suppress a laugh when he rolls his eyes, obviously finding nothing too strange. "I just want you," he quietly admits, golden eyes moving back to me.

"S-stop smiling like that!!" Tohru shoves me, but I only smack back down into the futon. _There's nowhere to go._

I raise my eyebrows, chuckling. "I'm already on the floor. There's nowhere to push me."

Tohru chuffs. "Yeah I can see that... Guess it's my turn."

I frown mockingly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he theatrically sighs and sits up. "I'll give it a shot." I laugh softly and kiss him.

I sit up and cross my legs until he tells me not like that. So I uncross my legs and he gets on his knees in front of me, then hesitantly rubs my shoulders.

"Why is this part so foreign to you?" I have to ask, curiosity getting the better of me. "Do you really not like it?"

He leans his head into my shoulder and sighs, clearly not wanting to look at me when he speaks. "It's been so long since someone's doted on me like this. It's weird—I don't know what to do."

"You forgot?" I gingerly prompt. "I _never_ forgot. With you—especially that first time—it was all I wanted to do. I wanted to show you how happy I was that you let me in like that. All I wanted was to make you feel good; like you were the only person in the world for me."

"That's why you _said_ it, huh?" he remarks, sighing sadly. "That you loved me."

I have to sigh wistfully, too— _Though for me it’s not that I wish I hadn’t said it, but more that I regret not getting the point across better. That it kills me I wasn’t able to be there for him when it mattered most._

"I said it because I _meant_ it.” I’m a little grateful myself; that I don’t need to see whatever absurd expression he makes when I confess the truth. “It was a long time coming— _Longer than I wanted to admit._ So after that, after I knew you were all I wanted, there was no more denying it."

"I had sex before," he hesitantly volunteers. "But it was different. It was more about just getting each other off."

He shakes his head and continues. "You were more focused on _how_ I was feeling, rather than _what_ I was feeling. I didn't know what to do with it." Tohru sighs, resting his hands on my thighs while he leans against me.

I feel myself smiling sadly. "Well things are different now," I murmur, rubbing all the way up and down his back. I lean backwards, pulling Tohru with me.

He moves back and looks down at me; runs his knuckles over my chest and sighs. " _I_..." He traces the marks with his fingers.

I raise my eyebrows and wait patiently, wondering if he'll go on.

_What do you want to tell me?_

But Tohru doesn't finish his thought. Instead, he ends up drawing forward to kiss me. He's grinding against my leg and moaning into my mouth. I keep one hand steady on his side, applying a little pressure to remind him to stay in the moment.

When he pulls away we're both breathing heavily. "What do you want to do?" I exhale.

He starts working my pants off, leaving little doubt in my mind. Then he bends down; his face by the outside of my hip. "Here?" he questions.

I snort. "That's _better_ ," I reply.

Tohru licks, then roughly sucks on the area, nipping intermittently— _And dammit I'm a liar if I say it doesn't feel good._ He can tell—Starts to feel me in other places, caressing my legs and stomach.

I twitch; can feel everything acutely. When he gets up, I can tell he's definitely turned on. I tug under one of his arms and drag him on top of me again. "Like this?" I ask, settling him across my lap.

He nods, grabbing my shoulders again and carefully lowering himself down. Tohru inhales sharply when we start to connect. I let him set the pace while I massage his hips and butt. He likes that—The harder I knead, the rougher he shoves himself down.

I can feel him twitching, his grunting growing louder. "Not ready," I whisper. Tohru nods curtly, trying to hold himself off. His movements get slower and more directed and I hear myself starting to get loud. I tap him, panting, and he understands—Pulls me close and wraps his legs around my waist.

I take over and bring us both over the edge. Tohru’s leaning his face in an awkward direction, so I nudge it up so I can kiss him again. He clutches me and doesn’t want to let go even when we’re done.

Grinning at him, I let us fall to the side. “Ngh,” Tohru groans. “Back to sleep...”

“Oi— _Hey!_ ” I shout, but can’t help cracking up despite myself. “Get up,” I tell him. “We’re showering, you’re eating, _we’re talking_ , and then going for a drive.”

Tohru raises his head to peek at the window. “It’s raining,” he flatly tells me. “We’re going to walk around in a city in the rain? That’s _your_ idea of a good time?” He smirks, knowing I dislike both cities and rain.

“Then we’ll pick something else... Let’s go.” I extricate myself and stand, dragging Tohru down the hall with me.

“I feel like I just showered,” he complains.

I stare at him like he’s a moron. “ _You did._ Last night... Now you’re doing it again, and maybe one more time if we have a soak later.”

"I still don't like it," Tohru announces when he takes a seat on the stool. "I never got to shower much."

"Hnn?" I vocalize— _I’ve lost the thread._

A little time passes before he qualifies. "In prison," Tohru volunteers. "And when I did it usually meant beatings because we'd have to talk to each other to share soap and stuff. They didn't want any of us speaking to each other."

I nod slowly, taking that in while I wash myself. _The less they interact, the less likely there'll be prisoner-on-prisoner violence or other incidents. Even I know you have to spend most of the day in stony silence._

_That must have been hard for him—He likes to hear himself talk even when there isn’t anything important to say._

_He especially enjoys joking around._

I smile tentatively at Tohru and hold up the cloth. He nods, so I slowly scrub his back and remain quiet, giving him space to continue if he wants.

"And it was _always_ cold—Usually fucking _freezing_ , even in the summer." Tohru lifts his legs and plants his heels on the stool as well. "The water, the air, the thin clothes... And even if it _was_ warmer, it was muggy—So you always felt wet and gross." He hugs his knees and I want to reach out and embrace him, but get the feeling that if I interrupt his apprehensive retrospection he'll then hide this all away again.

"If I could die of hypothermia I think I would've." He squeaks out some noises that aren’t quite laughs or a snorts, but something else.

I nod again, trying to be unobtrusive but encouraging. _They don't like running the heat all the time... And a lot of inmates do lose considerable amounts of weight..._

_I've spent most of my career putting people behind bars, but I hadn't wanted to consider the way they're treated once there. Especially someone like Tohru—_

_Who's committed one of the worst offenses. Who was a police officer himself._

"What?" he scoffs, and I realize I've stopped moving. He's twisted his head around to glare at me. " _You wanna hear more?_ " he jeers.

"If you want to tell me more," I evenly reply. I pat his back and Tohru stands to wash himself and rinse off. After, we get in the tub.

He glowers at the water. "I thought I was going to die—Or I guess I _hoped_ for it. Before you came to see me, and even for a while after, before I was moved to a permanent cell, they did... They did a lot of terrible things to m—” Tohru stops speaking midsentence and flicks his eyes up to meet mine for a second. “ _I’m not telling you._ ”

I try to give him a reassuring look.

_I wouldn’t have asked. You don't want to share lesser memories; I know it would make you feel—_

“I felt like a failure. Like I couldn’t protect myself,” he finishes my thought for me and scrunches himself up. “And I felt—even more than before—like I’d failed _you_ ,” he mumbles.

"Is that why you asked me to kill you?" _I won’t ever be able to forget that desperate plea._

Tohru glances up sharply, meeting my gaze. " _Partly_. I also didn't think I could ever make up for the things I've done to you and Nanako." He shakes his head. "But during the questioning... Being a dirty cop was like having a target painted on my back—or my front—or all over my body. Just a gigantic 'punch me' note."

He starts to pull at his hair and his expression turns very dark; extremely despondent. "Like a giant sign hanging above me that let everyone know they should fuck with me—Just take out all their frustrations on the crazy murderer cop, because what's he gonna do? No one gives a shit what happens to _him_! All these guards too _stupid_ to become cops themselves..."

"W-what's he gonna do? Who's gonna care about s-someone like him? We can _punch_ him, _kick_ him in the ribs, _throw him around, hold him down_ —" He's grinding his teeth so loudly but they won't stay together—I can hear them chattering, too.

_I think it's about time I do something—_

I move forward so I can hold him now. Tohru is shuddering so much when I wrap my arms around him and pull him against me. We sit there like that for a long time; until the water goes cold.

When I suggest we get out, Tohru quickly agrees and we dry off and change. "I'm fine, physically—Just so that you know. No lasting problems or diseases. They did an exit exam. And Nanako fixed my fucked-up fingers.” He wiggles the digits of his left hand. “So don't worry about any of that."

"Those aren’t necessarily the parts I find concerning," I pick my words carefully, trying to gently let him know.

Tohru glares at me for a minute, not liking my comment, but then one corner of his mouth turns up in a partial smile. "You know I..." he starts, but then shakes his head.

He's quiet for a minute before speaking again. "I really care about you."

"I know," I affirm. "Me too."

"The worst was this one guard who really hated my guts—On Thursdays or Fridays he'd goad me and push me around till I snapped so that I had to sit seiza in that glorified time-out room." Tohru grabs the edge of the sink and he's jumpy—Shaking again.

"And then they'd give me these little _updates_ all day while I wasn't supposed to talk or move—If I did it pretty much became a free-for-all...” He pounds the sink a few times before getting himself under control. “They'd _so politely_ let me know that you'd been turned away after driving all day, or that you were sitting and waiting for me while I had to finish out my semi-isolation."

"Once I figured out how to use my powers, it wasn't that bad because people mostly left me alone. You heard about that standoff in the showers?” he rhetorically demands. “ _I temporarily paralyzed everyone._ Because no one could move while I freely paced the room... Scared the _shit_ out of the guards, and then word inevitably spread through the regular population in my block and beyond."

"So I was still freezing my ass off and not getting enough food, but..." Tohru steps right up to me and looks me in the eye. "I wouldn't have cared about getting out or anything, really, if you hadn't let me know there was still a place for me."

"Tohru," I sigh. "I told you—Even if we weren't in a relationship, I made a promise to you; a commitment. I'd help you anyway. There's _always_ a place for you here."

He shakes his head, looking annoyed. "But I want a very _specific_ place," Tohru asserts as he wraps his arms around me. " _This one_."

"It's yours."

" _I'm_ yours," he mumbles.

I hug him tightly. "Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been able to find small bits and pieces about prison in Japan, but one article has stuck out so far beyond the others!! The link is below:  
> http://xpatnation.com/what-is-prison-like-in-japan/  
> Since I have learned new facts, I realize that visits with friends—especially visits where everyone can sit together—are never allowed. Well, this IS fiction. Please bear with me...
> 
> At some point I’d like to put together a PDF version of all the flashbacks so they can be viewed in chronological order. I was thinking of how everything fits together today, and realized that it breaks down as follows:
> 
> December – Both Dojimas in hospital; Adachi turned in  
> Jan – Kanji ‘Locked In’ flashbacks  
> Late Jan – Dojima released  
> Early Feb – Nanako released  
> Early May – Adachi trial starts; Kanji 'From Emperor to Hierophant' flashback; Kanji "Okaeri" flashback  
> Mid May – Kanji 'The Taste of Black Coffee' flashback  
> Following Jan – First trial ends  
> Feb or After – Dojima “Oretachi” flashback; Guys file an appeal (lack of evidence, insanity, etc)


	50. Small Differences (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys talk about Tohru’s old motivations, which effectively makes Ryoutarou snap. Then Tohru begins to piece together some other details that have been bugging him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there’s a lot going on here. I have a few different directions I’m debating taking the next story in and need to do a little bit of setup as “Kazoku” winds down. I’m going to start teasing the plot for next time while being a little vague to give myself some wiggle room. We will NOT end on a huge cliffhanger like last time! PROMISE—
> 
> (I found a name, by the by: “Yakusoku”. It means “PROMISE”, “agreement”, “arrangement”, “one’s word”, “pact”, “engagement”, “destiny”, and “fate”!! Damn I love words with many meanings~)
> 
> I have also decided that we will run through Monday night, in-story time. We’re still on Saturday.

Chapter Forty-Eight: Small Differences

(Tohru)

Downstairs, I pull instant noodles out of the cabinet because I’m realizing I may have _missed_ them—

_How fucked is that?_

“Why’re you eating crap?” Ryoutarou makes a face. “I’ll make you fish or an egg.”

I shake my head. “I want this today.”

He shrugs and pours me some juice. “You want tamago kake gohan to go with it?”

“Two carbs?” I scoff.

“You want it?” he brightly asks, even though he’s already scooping rice. "I'll make it for you."

_It was that comment about not getting enough to eat. I know it._

_He’s going to be stuffing me for weeks now..._

"It takes _time_ to gain weight," I tell Ryoutarou, trying to mete out the right amount of annoyance without making him feel bad.

He glances between me—already boiling water for the prepackaged noodles—and the heaping bowl of rice. "That's way more than I can eat," I add.

Ryoutarou sighs, but does dump the damn rice back into the cooker. When I pour the boiling water into my bowl however, he cracks the egg he took out before I can protest. I grumble, but he doesn't seem bothered.

I bring the food to the table and sit. I stare at the softening noodles and bright egg and wonder what the hell I'm doing. _I shouldn't tell him anything else._

I add the seasoning packets and stir everything till it's evenly mixed. I eat slowly while Ryoutarou has more coffee. He's placed my unfinished mug by my seat, and I'll have it when I'm done with the soup.

"When does the interrogation begin?" I quip between bites.

Ryoutarou's face falls and he's quiet for a minute.

"I don't have many questions," he informs me. "I know a lot of your previous answers, though I don't know if I'll ever be able to _understand_ them."

“How could you...?” Ryoutarou begins to ask ' _the question_ ' and trails off.

_Doesn’t matter. I know what he was going to ask, even if he’s too chicken._

“How could I _what_?” I repeat anyhow, speaking around a mouthful of ramen. Ryoutarou doesn't say anything else, so I finish my food before I answer.

I narrow my eyes. "It's more like I 'let them die', rather than personally killing them."

" _But how could you do that?!_ " Ryoutarou _thumps_ the table. "More importantly—And this you _need_ to tell me—" His eyebrows arch up as he stares intently. "Would you do it again? _Now?_ ” He frowns, his face drawing tight and cold. “I want to think that you wouldn't."

"Now I..." I grit. "Now I have _something_ —"

_That I want to protect—_

_You should be able to understand that._

I fold my arms, knowing I look too defensive. "Only if someone posed a real threat to you or Nanako."

Ryoutarou angrily shakes his head. "What does that _entail_?"

"I was ready to kill Kubo," I quickly answer, looking him in the eye. "I have not felt that way about anyone else since then. If I do, I promise to tell you."

"Before or after?" he demands and I know I visibly wince—Staying quiet. " _Before or after?_ " Ryoutarou repeats in a louder voice.

I sigh and pull at my hair a little. "I don't know!" I anxiously try.

_After._

_Definitely after—You’d stop me_

_Or never._

I rub my face and grunt— _Frustrated_.

_Never’s the better answer._

"If you don't tell me," Ryoutarou tries. "Then I can't _help_ you. Your actions will always have consequences." He glares at me sharply while he continues to lecture. "You won't get out so easily a second time—A little over five years in prison has worn you down so _much_!! _Don't do anything that could get you sent back_ — _You_ won't make it. _I_ won't make—"

Now I slam the table and my empty bowl clatters around. "Why do you have to say it like that?" I demand, leaning across the table. "I'll do what I _have_ to!"

He doesn't falter. "You _don't_ have to!" he yells, punctuated with more banging. "You _never_ had to!!" Ryoutarou scowls at me so harshly—

His eyes flash as he seethes—As he grows angrier than I've seen him get in a long time—Like he’s going to completely lose control of his temper. " _Do not screw this up_ ," Ryoutarou commands. "I will _not_ forgive you and I probably will not be _able_ to help you—At all. There is only so much disgrace that will be tolerated before I'm fired and then there won't be _anything_ I can do."

I grit my teeth.

" _Do you understand what I'm telling you?_ " he demands. "I need to know that you're going to stay out of trouble—I'd like to know what brought you to that point in the first place, so we can avoid it and—”

" _Hnh!_ " I snort. "It was over. My career was over. My family was dead. I'd already shot someone—Killed someone for real, the _hard_ way... There was _nothing_ for me—And then to be rejected by some _stupid greedy bitch_ —To be told _again_ _and again_ that I wasn't good enough the way I am—"

I stop when I realize Ryoutarou’s smacking the table to get my attention. "If you didn't know the first time but _did the sec—_ "

" _Huuh_ ," I hear the shaky laughter escape. "That _other_ bitch? Maybe I overreacted—she _was_ just a high school brat—but I wasn't even good enough for a whor—"

 _The next thing I know I'm on the floor—_ The room wheels until I smack wood, landing on my side.

_Face—_

"Owhh, fuck," I mumble.

I reach my left hand over to my check.

_Yup._

_Slapped me pretty hard..._

"Uuh, Tohru?" His voice is all regret.

"Whaaat?" I moan, sitting up. "You asked me to explain how I ended up doing it. _You asked me to tell you what was going through my mind—So I did!!_ "

"Yeah," he admits, holding out his hand.

I grunt. "I'll stay down here, thanks. This way I won't _go flying_ again..."

"Just get up," Ryoutarou sighs like _he's_ the one who's annoyed. _Pain in the goddamn..._

I take my seat at the table again. "We done with this part?" I spit.

He sits as well and folds his hands on top of the table. "I— _I guess_." He frowns down at his hands.

"Next?" I groan.

"Why didn't you show me earlier, so I at least believed you?" Ryoutarou asks, ratcheting down his attitude by only a little bit.

"Why didn't I show you _what_?" I repeat, shaking my head.

He bangs on the table. "The TV Land, moron!!"

“Ohh man! For the last time: it's TV _World_ , Ryoutarou!” I sigh.

_Who the hell even named it...?_

_We all seemed to call it by the same name—It couldn’t have been a coincidence._

_Why do we all..._

_But he doesn't always remember the right name... Is some thing about Ryoutarou different?_

“Tohru??” I finally realize he’s been talking to me while I’ve been mulling that over. _Totally spacing out. Like a blank tape—_

_Video tape—Different—Something was different—_

_They went to the TV World from a video online, once._

_Not on a regular television. At midnight, but no the usual pattern._

_Is it the fact that it's the same type of media—All video clips?_

"Tohru!" Ryoutarou grumbles, snapping his fingers in front of my face a few times. "Are you paying attention to me, dammit!"

“Yes?” I quickly reply, but immediately veer away from whatever he was saying. "Tell me about Ai Meets Kizuna again. Someone mentioned a video online—"

" _What?_ " Ryoutarou interrupts. "You said you'd answer my questions!" he protests.

I groan. "I think I'm on to something—Please. Just tell me about it."

"I don't know all the details, but," he mutters. "There was a video on a website that apparently showed Kanami's old senpai dancing and those creepy ribbons."

"That's it?" I shake my head. "Did it ever play on the television too—Did _you_ ever see it?"

Ryoutarou squints like he's thinking. "Don't know," he finally tells me. "I thought I was going on vacation and ended up in a library most of the time..."

"Shh—Let me think!! That's not the part that's important.” _He’s still going on about the stupid concert!_ “Ryoutarou!! Shut up! For five minutes!!”

He does shut up, but looks shocked I yelled at him.

_He never saw it. He never saw the TVs at midnight..._

_It’s not as if he wouldn’t have been awake. Probably drinking down here—Right by a television._

“Who was there? All the damn kids?” I question. He nods tentatively. “I’m calling Teddie. You call Ryota—Get him over here.”

I take out my phone and dial the bear. Of course he picks up on practically the first ring. “To~hru~!” he happily yells.

“Ugh, _what_?” I reply.

“What do _you_ need? You called me!” Teddie complains.

_Ah. Right..._

“Teddie,” I sigh. “Do you remember Ai Meets Kizuna?”

“ _Yeah!!_ ” he screeches. “ _It was so great! We danced so much and met Kana-chan and everyone was there and Nanako was so cute and we had costumes and—_ ”

“No, dammit!” I practically shout. “What about _the shadows_?”

“Oh! Yeah! We fought them with dancing!!”

“It was a completely different world than inside the TV, right?” I prompt.

“Mm-hmm!” he agrees. “So different I wasn’t able to feel anything about my own world.”

_Right._

“Teddie—The video. You saw a video to get there, right?”

“Yup!” he affirms.

_And here’s the leap—_

I take a deep breath. “Did they ever show it on the TV, or could you _only_ see it online?”

“Online, duuh!” he tells me. “It was from the website—Kana’s company’s website!”

“Nnn—Which website doesn’t matter, just that it didn’t involve TVs at all. _Correct?_ ”

“Yes,” he says, sounding completely positive.

_There are other pockets of the Collective Unconscious and—_

“Heyo!” I hear Ryou— _no, it’s Ryota_ —say. Then he starts talking to Ryoutarou and it gets more frigging confusing.

I plug my other ear to drown them out. “Was anyone else around when you watched it? Who didn’t get pulled in or something?”

“No?” he questions. _Not a real answer._

“Okay—I’ll talk to you later. Gotta run, bye,” I abruptly tell Teddie. “That’s all I needed for now.” I hang up and turn to Ryota, who’s wandering around the living room like it’s his first time here again. “And what did _you_ do, fucking teleport?!”

He nods, grinning. “Yeah—Your TV.”

“Right...” I sigh and motion him to the table, where I sit down again too. “Do you know about other places _like_ the TV World?” I ask.

Ryota nods again. “Yes,” he seriously replies. “A bunch of the kids went to another one a few—”

“ _Yeah_ ,” I groan. “I know. But are there _more_?!”

“A lot. They’re made and destroyed all the time!” he excitedly remarks. “Haven’t you been to the Cathe—”

Ryota is cut off by a crashing noise from upstairs. “ _Did_ _something follow you?!_ ” I demand, jumping up. Both of the guys jerk their heads towards the stairs while teleport to the bottom to listen.

I can hear Ryota mutter that I’m a ‘showoff’.

“Hee-ho~” Black Frost calls. _For fuck’s sake!! What hasn’t he told me this time?_

The thing floats into view from the direction of my room, his fucking finger resting innocently on his chin. “Why’re you here?” I spit. “I didn’t call you.”

“I know, ho!” he happily replies. “But Friend...” I raise my eyebrows and wait for him to tell me something— _Probably another lie, but what can I do?_

Black Frost floats over to the table and I sit once again. He jitters around in the air above the empty seat. “But Friend did not know about The Cathedral? Tall was going to tell you, ho, but it should be me~”

Ryota looks disturbed at the snowman’s sudden appearance and fidgets with his hands. “Then why _haven’t_ you told him yet?”

“Oh~ Too busy!” Frost grins. “Too busy...”

He stops moving for a second and I wave my hand in front of him. “ _Today, goddammit!_ ” I snap.

“Can _enter_ from the TV, but _is not the same_!” he surmises. Black frost’s eyes get a dark shine to them as he carefully words his next statement. “ _Anyone from any place can enter, TV is just convenient, hee hoo!_ ”

“Is there a way to completely erase the TV World?” I bluntly ask.

Black Frost opens his mouth wide as he turns his head slowly toward Ryota, who looks visibly shaken at my question. “There are two ways, ho,” he begins. “If is no longer needed, that manifestation of Collective Will may disappear by neglect. Or if Vessel appears to contain it, _hoo_ —Must be of complete and utter emptiness to seal it inside.”

Black Frost bobs through the air, leaving his seat and floating over to the TV in the living room. “If either process begins and is halted, hoooh!!” he cackles. “What may happen to occupants of here or there?”

I’m so busy watching Black Frost that I haven’t noticed that Ryota has summoned his persona— _Fuck! Short-tempered asshole!!_

He orders his stupid god to attack Black Frost, who easily disappears into the tiny living room television, leaving behind a horrendous bout of evil laughter.


	51. More Complicated (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji is tracked down by Naoki, whom he’s bee avoiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never written Naoki. Could never figure out how activate his Slink. Watched it online literally for this chapter onwards. He won’t be part of the main tier, but I’d like him in this. Please let me know if my writing for him is subpar!
> 
> Also my f****** ipad keeps autocorrecting “Naoki” to “Naomi”.

Chapter Forty-Nine: More Complicated

(Kanji)

My cell rings and I pick it up reflexively. “Tatsumi.”

“How long are you going to ditch me for?” is what the half-annoyed, half-joking voice on the phone asks.

_Augh, dammit! How long has it been since I’ve called him? We work right nearby each other._

“H-hey Naoki,” I reply, starting to sweat even though I’m just dyeing fabric—Nothing exertive.

“Haah, what is it this time?” he tries. “Did you go on a binge with a new project?”

I laugh nervously. “ _Something_ like that. But—I’m uhh, free today. Do you want to meet up for lunch?”

“Sure,” he happily tells me. “But I get to pick because I’m making the effort to find you~”

“Ah-hah! No problem!” _Except that he always picks—_

“I’ll see you at the bakery a few streets over in ten minutes?” Naoki brightly asks me. _Yup._

I start to clean everything up and glance around, wondering where my mom and Ted went. “Yeah,” I agree anyhow. “Shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Alright,” Naoki ends the conversation and hangs up.

“Ma!!” I call, setting my work aside. “Ted?!” I find them in the house, already cooking. I’m surprised that Teddie is sautéing garlic, but hey— _Guess he finally wanted to learn._

“Smells good,” I compliment them. “Too bad Naoki just invited me out...”

Teddie “aww”s while Ma says it’s fine. They’ll save my portion for later if I want it. So I head out and make my way down the road and through a few side streets till I arrive.

When I push open the door, I curse the fact that it’s the same guy as the other day. “Hi,” I say to him and try rush to give my order and pass over some bills.

Our interaction is then silent till Naoki comes up behind me and claps my shoulder. “Kanji!” he greets me with a nice smile.

“Hey man,” I say back.

"How can you hang out with that traitor?" the guy behind the counter spits.

I frown and grab my change.

"What?" Naoki laughs. "What crawled up your butt? Kanji's a cool guy."

I scratch the back of my neck. _I might not be..._

"That asshole was hanging around with the fucking murderer!" the idiot yells. _And now everyone's staring while Naoki looks like he's been punched in the gut._

My friend shakes his head. "No," he calmly replies. "I've known Kanji since we were kids—Even if he was, I know he has his reasons." Naoki is firm and the guy behind the counter doesn't challenge us again. I wait with my friend while he orders, too.

When we finally sit with our food, Naoki smiles wryly at me. "So what's the story, big guy?"

I groan. "You know I'm friends with Dojima," I tell him. "And seeing how word travels so quick, you must know that Adachi's living with him."

Naoki nods. "I'm aware." He takes a bite of his sandwich, not seeming angry or upset or anything.

"So I've been seeing a lot of the snake lately," I flatly tell him. "I don't particularly care for him, but he's..." I shake my head and start on my own food.

"Yeah," Naoki quietly replies. "I kind of figured that's why you've been distancing yourself."

"What?" I say a little too loudly. "No man!"

Naoki smiles kind of shy. "Kanji, I know you're feeling guilty—People tell me he's been at your store almost every day this week."

I throw down my sandwich. "Yeah," I admit. "He has. He's actually a decent worker."

"See?" Naoki huffs. "You know I'd rather you were honest with me."

"Yeah..."

We're silent for a little while, just enjoying our food. But Naoki looks like he has another question for me.

"What's up?" I ask.

He frowns, like he's unsure if he should say whatever it is. I gesture that it's fine. "Is it true that Dojima-san and Adachi...?"

I think I'm a little too quiet. I stuff more food in my mouth to try and think, but he's watching me carefully. "Yes," I tell him.

"But what about Nanako-chan?" Naoki naively questions. "Is it safe for her?"

I can't help laughing at that—I actually choke on my food a little. "She seems like the only one who can keep the crazy man in line," I tell him when I’ve recovered. "Sorry, but it's kinda funny—He acts like he doesn't wanna do anything to upset her. Almost like he cares about her opinion more that Dojima's, really."

"Be careful around him," Naoki seriously tells me. "We all believed he was some goofy, friendly idiot."

I frown, still frustrated from the other day and amped-up about 'talking' on Monday, even if Ryota is there. "Don't worry."

"So what, was he here? Is that why the worker was giving you a hard time?" I’m asked.

I nod. "He spit in Adachi's tea and I brought it back so Dojima wouldn't tear his arm off.” I motion ripping off an arm and using it to clobber someone like a baseball bat. “And, y’know, then beat him to death with it.”

Naoki snickers. "I bet he went postal."

"Yeah," I agree. "He was smacking his car and shaking Adachi and then I had to jump _in_ the car while it was moving cause the idiot was hanging out the door... Dojima told me before he ran over Adachi's foot one time cause he fell out of the car from a similar situation.” I lean back in my chair, lifting the front legs off the floor. “God my life's been one nightmare after another lately."

My friend laughs again. "Sounds like you've got your hands full."

"Sorta," I sigh. "It's so chaotic with the guy around. Everything's always blowing up or something else bad is happening, or Dojima's getting fuckin' hurt—Shit," I groan and lower my voice. "Someone stabbed him last week, you know. They're keeping it all quiet, but everything keeps getting violent with that— _That_...”

I let the chair fall forward again, slamming onto the floor. “Fuck I'm so frustrated!" I slap the table lightly.

Naoki stares at me, looking a little worried. "What're you going to do? You can't very well avoid the Dojimas—Nanako-chan practically lives at your house."

"I know. Hey, Naoki," I start, needing to ask. "Do you..."

He snorts. "No, we're cool. I've got my own life and I've moved on in my own way. Just don't invite us both for dinner," Naoki gibes.

"Thanks," I reply. "Sorry I was avoidin' you. I didn't know what to say." My foods gone, so I just finish my water, trying to shut up for a minute.

"Don't avoid me," he raises his eyebrows. "That makes me angrier."

“Yeah,” I agree. “Should’ve know.”

“So!” Naoki slams his cup a little loudly when he’s done. “How’s Yuki-chan? Or have you been keeping under her radar, too?”

I shake my head. “No, but trust me—She’s got _her_ hands full too. She’s been—Ah,” I try to figure out how to even explain this one. “Training someone new,” I settle on.

“Why? Is he as clumsy as her?” he remarks.

“Naah,” I wave the assumption away. “Just... _Different_. One of Dojima’s relatives who’s moving nearby. He’s a real damn space-case.”

_Well that’s one way to put it._

“Well,” Naoki says as he picks up his trash. “If I have to hunt you down again, you’re buying for me.

I shrug. “That’s fair. Let’s do this again next week.”

“Alright,” my friend smiles as he walks away.


	52. Plus One (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru and Ryota discuss what just happened, then Ryoutarou tries to get Tohru to understand that nothing in life is a given. Ryoutarou has a phone call with Yuudai before all three head out to the store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may be a bad person, but I love poking fun at people and using antiquated vocabulary (like "bastard" today). I basically try to think of what my grandparents would say in these situations! :D
> 
> We’re looking at—unfortunately—least a few chapterless days. :( I will be going away Saturday through Tuesday to see the solar eclipse for Masa’a birthday! (His birthday was today, and this is what he wants to do. So hello ‘city full of people to watch it get dark during the day’... =_=) My ipad won’t let me copy and paste with formatting, so I would need to go line-by-line to re-italicize everything. But I’ll try to double-post a few days when I get back! I can still work on it~ Maybe even finish!!
> 
> There MAY be one more chapter before I leave, either tomorrow or Saturday morning. Depends on how much work-work I have to do.

Chapter Fifty: Plus One

(Ryoutarou)

Once Black Frost and its eerie laughter has disappeared, Ryota recalls Yanamtaka. "Son of a bitch," he curses, stares darkly at the television. "He's threatening to loose more demons here— _You know that right?_ " he demands of Tohru.

Tohru waves him off with a grunt of acknowledgement. "Yeah I know. Just—Just let me think!"

I'm the only one still seated. _Don’t know what I could do..._

Ryota is advancing on Tohru and looking angry. " _Don't_ tell that thing anything unnecessary, alright?" he orders.

Tohru rolls his eyes and nods. "Yeah—I know that already! We'll figure it out!” he shouts back. “But right now isn't the time. It's good enough that I've confirmed my suspicions. The rest will have to wait."

I watch the two continue to squabble and I tune them out. _Can't understand half of what they're saying, anyhow. Things about how different "worlds" are or aren't connected._

I wash Tohru's dishes and put on another round of coffee for Ryota and myself. By the time it's done brewing, they're still going at it—Pacing the room and gesturing wildly.

Picking my blue mug out of the rack, I choose yellow for Ryota again. I pour us each a cup and hold them up. The other man catches sight of the offer and stops fighting to take the drink from me. We lean against the kitchen counter and sip our black coffee.

Now Tohru's arguing with himself. He's still yelling out theories and pacing round, as if he didn't even notice Ryota's departure. _At least he's putting his mind to good use for once._

"So you think something bad is going to happen?" I quietly question Ryota.

"Hnn," he hums. "Probably. You're lucky to have me around," he smirks and holds up his mug.

I laugh a little. "I guess so."

"That guy needs a fire lit under his ass or he doesn't get moving, huh?" Ryota asks me.

I shake my head. "He was never very motivated since I've known him. But I think he likes that he's our resident brainiac on personas." I snicker. "Probably mad you're taking his thunder away."

Ryota nods. "I believe it."

When our drinks are almost gone, Tohru's finally calmed down a bit. He's sitting on the couch and glowering at the television. I rinse my mug and sit down next to him. Tohru turns to me, still agitated. "There's more out there than we know. There will always be all these threats. We'll never just 'be safe'."

"Tohru," I sigh and put my arm around him. "I don't know about you—it's something else you've never told me—but that's why I became a police officer. To protect my family and my town. I do what I can, and you do what you can." I tap his chest and he frowns at my finger.

"So that's it?" he challenges. "We just ' _do what we can_ '? There's no better answer?" _I don’t like his expression._

I gently squeeze Tohru’s shoulder. "No," I carefully tell him. "There really isn't. That's part of life."

_He looks unhappy with that, but it's the truth. You can't protect everyone. You can't save everyone._

_You do what you can._

"You two want lunch?" I ask, changing the subject. Ryota immediately agrees while Tohru huffs.

"I guess," he grudgingly says. He's threaded his arms around me with that death grip of his and he looks like he's pouting.

I nudge him. "Then you have to let go." He giggles when he notices, and it makes me laugh, too.

"What are we having?" Tohru asks.

"You choose," I shrug.

He looks up at me sharply. “More ramen,” Tohru declares in a very serious tone.

Ryota makes a face and even I’d rather not. “Let’s go to the store. We’ll pick out something for dinner, too.”

Tohru groans while Ryota digs around in his pocket. He holds out some money. “Here,” he tells me. “To cover what I eat.”

“ _Showoff_ ,” Tohru mutters and I roll my eyes.

“Don’t worry,” I say to Ryota. “We’re not in the hole, yet.” He grunts and tries to stuff it in my pocket when I stand.

“This’ll be fun~” Tohru goads. “Neither one of you is gonna back down, are you?” He leans back on the couch and grins while we push the paper money back and forth between us.

“ _Shut up!_ ” we both bark. It cracks Tohru up.

I sigh and take the money. “Fine. Thank you,” I curtly tell the other man.

“Ahh man,” Tohru complains as he finally stands. “Junes? Konbini? Drive or drive?”

Ryota frowns. “We _walk_ to the corner store.”

“Rain,” Tohru halfheartedly points out the window.

 _Right. Not walking in that._ I grab my keys and then remember—

“Get in the car, I need to make a phone call about tomorrow.”

“What? For the onibaba?” Tohru quips, and this time Ryota bursts out laughing.

"Let's get it all out today," I groan. "Nanako will be angry if we insult her."

"We'll wait outside," Ryota says and grabs the neck of Tohru's shirt to pull him along.

Tohru punches him in the side. "I ain't no cat!" he hisses, making Ryota laugh again.

I walk to the landline and dial the cell number I have in the address book— _Never bothered to save it in my most recent phone._

"Hello?" my mother demands after one ring.

I try to hold in another sigh. "Tomorrow," I say with no preamble. "You can come by for lunch. Does eleven work?"

"Nn that's fine. I don't need to be on a train back until three," she replies.

"I was thinking I'll order sushi and—"

"Don't," I’m rudely interrupted. "I'll buy it. Adachi isn't being paid up front," she scoffs.

"What is it with everyone today?" I snort. " _We're fine._ "

She huffs. "Of _course_ you are—" _Same old patronizing tone._ "The only one with a paying job supporting two _children_ —"

I thump the wall. _Tomorrow is not going to go well._

She's still lobbing potshots so I cut my mother off. "That's enough. If you've nothing else important, I need to get to the store."

I hear a sigh. "If I give you something for that Ryota...?" she asks me.

"Yes," I reply. "I'll get it to him. No one even knows his damn address."

My mother clears her throat. "So... Would you rather he be your cousin or your bastard brother?"

"Oh goody," I snort. "I get to pick?"

" _He_ would've been allowed to pick if we got to cut him open, but you negated that..."

" _Oh for—_ That's inhumane and cruel!"

“I guess we won’t be able to cure cancer this year—Suit yourself.”

"Who's bastard?" I question, ignoring the lie about furthering medicine. _It’s more likely for the military._

She laughs. "Your father's _obviously_. You look just like him."

"This is such a goddamn bizarre conversation!” I remark. “Who gets him if he's my cousin?"

"Who do we hate the most?"

I can't help chuckling. "Your older brother, _obviously_."

"That man is not bright. I doubt he'd even realize there was an extra on his register, for that matter. Final answer?" she prods.

"Brother is fine," I concede. "Then I won't be the youngest."

"There are only two of—Well now there's literally two of _you_. Couldn't have been the one I'm proud of," she mutters.

I groan. "I can hear you!"

"Good!" my mother shouts back. "Tell your _brother_ I'll bring his papers by tomorrow."

"Yeah yeah..."

She makes another derisive noise. "For the record, you'd better make sure he doesn't say anything to embarrass you, Ryou. And you'd _damn well_ better make sure all of your stories match."

"I'll be fine," I sigh. "We'll make sure they match by then time we drive up next week."

"He's from..." my mother quietly muses. "Around the time that Nanako was kidnapped, yes?"

I frown. "How would you know?"

"Educated guess," she coolly replies. "I always wondered what the real story was. No electrical problems were found with your car."

"Don't go digging into my business or we'll have a real problem between us again," I coldly tell her.

"Hnn. That's about all the confirmation I need. I'll see you tomorrow, Ryou." She hangs up before I can even say goodbye.

"Wait—" I call. "Does nee-san know about your work?" I question.

My mother laughs. "Oh god no! She's too self-absorbed to even realize my new position."

"What about..." I hesitate.

" _No_ ," she firmly commands. "Don’t even mention him by name. I wouldn't bring _family_ in for research—Which reminds me that you will be giving a written statement that yourself and Nanako have no knowledge of this bull. It'll be vague enough to get you out of anything. I'll bring that by tomorrow, as well."

"You'd better have some kind of ace up your sleeve for Tohru, too!" I demand and hang up. _Not leaving room for argument._

I anxiously run a hand through my hair and shove the address book back into the drawer. _How dangerous is all of this really? I've gone along quietly because Tohru seems to know what he's doing, and it's not my right to stop him._

I take out a cigarette and let it dangle from my lips. _Where did he—_

_Store. We're supposed to get lunch and dinner._

I walk into the garage and see them leaning against the car and talking with the door up. I get into the driver's seat and the other two join me.

Tohru pokes fun at my unlit cigarette before flicking open his lighter. "Phone call went poorly?" he surmises.

"What tipped you off?" I snark, blowing smoke at his face as I pull us out of the garage.

"Eww!" he shrieks, swatting it away.

"At least with Godzilla along, people will probably leave us alone," I remark.

I see Ryota point at himself in the mirror. " _Me?_ " he queries.

That one lands Tohru in stitches. He smacks my arm; he's guffawing so much.

"Yeah," I tell him, also laughing a little at the way this is all working out. "But try not to stick out, little brother—Apparently that's who you are, now."

"I'm... Who?" he repeats, very lost.

"Your papers are going to say that you're my younger brother. Congratulations—You get to stick around Inaba."


	53. On the Spot (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru, Ryoutarou, and Ryota all go to Junes and it ends in a screaming match in the parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote ahead... But skipped some parts, so there will not be double-postings. I need to catch up to the chapters I wrote while away. I may not actually be able to post again until Friday. Sorry and thanks for reading!!

Chapter Fifty-One: On the Spot

(Tohru)

The three of us wander around Junes picking out stuff to make oyakodon and omurice. I grab the vegetables with Ryota annoyingly hovering right next to me as he was ordered, while Ryoutarou walks off to pick out a few cuts of meat.

We're almost out of rice, so I tell Ryota to grab a large-sized sack— _He should be able to carry it no trouble. And if not, it’ll be fun to watch him struggle._

"Are you nervous about Monday?" the idiot asks me when we're waiting in line.

"What _about_ Monday?" a similar voice echoes from behind us.

I groan, needing to think quickly. _Good job, Blabby..._

“N-no reason,” Ryota fidgets while the other one narrows his eyes at us.

_What the hell is plausible?_

“Just hanging out...” Ryota tries again. Ryoutarou raises an eyebrow and turns to me.

“Yeah—Why don’t we just tell him already, you _big, dumb jackass_! It’s a _party_!" I blurt. "We wanted to have a little party— _For fun_ of course~"

Ryoutarou eyes me suspiciously, setting his finds down on counter. "Really?" he emotionlessly replies. "Is that so? We'll invite everyone then. _Sound good_?"

I try not to frown as he goes on. "That includes Kanji and Teddie, you know?"

"Then can we invite Yukiko and Chie?" Ryota questions, smiling like this was the real plan all along. I do my best not to kick him in the shin.

"I thought it was _your_ party," Ryoutarou challenges, folding his arms while our items are rung up. "Why would you need to ask?"

"What?!" I shout, just realizing what he said. "Wait—Hold up— _What?!?!_ " I shake my head. " _Another one's_ gonna be here, too?" I moan and grab at my hair.

_What a damn mess..._

"Yeah, you didn't know?" Ryota asks us. "I thought it was funny neither of you mentioned it..." He gets busy bagging our items while Ryoutarou pays.

I sigh. "Well it was supposed to be a surprise _, you stupid_..."

_Dammit... It's fine._ _Let him think this was the plan all along. Works out better for me because this actually makes sense._

"Great. Now he knows we were planning a party for Tracksuit,” I dramatically sigh.

Ryoutarou still looks lost himself. "Which one was she...?"

_Oh for crying out loud!! The one who always wore a track jacket! I just said it..._

_Do I know these damn kids better than Ryoutarou...?_

"Whatever. We're now having a party for her. I guess." _Oh this was a dumb idea..._

"Well then, I'll leave it to you two," Ryoutarou smirks and heads for the parking lot laughing like an idiot.

I punch Ryota in the shoulder. "Dammit! You had to... _Aurgh!!_ "

"Do you not like Chie _either_?" he groans. "Which do them _do_ you like?"

"None!" I hiss, grabbing the shopping bags while he takes the gigantic sack of rice. "I only like Ryoutarou and Nanako."

"Not even me?" he asks, looking pathetic.

"Oh for fuck—" I sigh loudly. "Sure. You're okay, I guess. Why not?” I brandish my fist at him. “Just wise up or I'll send you back, to dreamland."

Ryota walks quietly for a minute, then asks about other people, _again_. "What about your shadow? You like him too, right? And Kubo? You seem to like him well enough..."

"Ryota—Shut the fuck up," I order and walk more quickly.

Unfortunately, his fucking long legs catch right up with me. We load everything in the trunk while he goes on about how I'm not telling the truth, because I seem to care about Teddie and Kubo. "Stop pretending you're better than us!" he demands after slamming the trunk. "You act like its uncool to care about people—You're such a complete jackass!!"

_Great. Now he's getting worked up..._

"Are you still so afraid to admit you care about people?" he throws out. And because of the yelling, Ryoutarou's getting back out of the car—To come yell at us, I bet. " _Because if you keep everyone at arm's length you're going to end up all fucking alone again!!_ "

"Oi, that's _enough_!" Ryoutarou shouts at Ryota. He grabs his arm and steers him to the backseat. Once he sits, still fuming, Ryoutarou slams the door and turns back to me, arms folded. "What the hell was _that_ about?"

"He's... Being an asshole!!" I spit, kicking one of the tires. "Thinks he knows more abo—"

"That's enough out of you, too," Ryoutarou sighs and pushes me towards the other side of the car. "We'll sort it out at home. Get in."

The ride back is in uncomfortable silence. We carry everything into the house and Ryoutarou starts making fried rice while I crack eggs, still muttering to myself. Ryota watches from his seat at the kitchen table.

"Which of you is going first?" Ryoutarou demands once the food's all ready. "Because one of you’d better tell me why you looked like you were about ready to rip each others' heads off in the goddamn parking lot!"

Ryota rudely points his spoon at me. "This guy just won't admit he cares about people. It's aggravating!"

"I do!" I growl back. "Just not a _lot_ of people."

" _More than two_ ," Ryota quickly replies.

"What- _ever_!!" I throw up my hands and huff.

Ryota makes a mocking noise. "He's a fucking little liar!"

"I—I am not!!"

Ryoutarou rubs at his head and sighs. "Does it really matter right now?"

"He acts like everyone—all the people you and Nanako are friendly with—don't matter. He should be grateful that you have such good friends and be nicer to them!"

I shove food into my mouth so I don't explode.

"He's getting there," Ryoutarou defends me.

Ryota snorts. "With that lenient attitude, he'll never buck up and mellow out—Maybe _you've_ mellowed out too much!" he finishes.

Ryoutarou gets a dejected look on his face when he hears that.

"Hey, stop it!!" I hiss at Ryota.

"He and I just talked about this—Keep out of it. It's not always about _you_ , Tohru!" he gibes right back. "Just be honest," he pleads with me. "It's not difficult one you start. It just takes practice, like everything else."

I glare and don't say anything back.

So he goes on. "Try it," Ryota barks at me. "Make a statement that you care about someone else," he urges.

Ryoutarou glances over at me expectantly. _I know I'm grimacing..._

"I care about..." I pause and flick my eyes around the room.

_Teddie is safest. Everyone fucking loves him._

_But Kubo is a friend I made on my own._

_Ryota is so similar to Ryoutarou._

"Is he actually breaking out in a sweat?" Ryota leans over to whisper to Ryoutarou. I smack the table and he jumps backwards, his chair clattering a few times.

"I care about Teddie," I haltingly admit.

The other two exchange a glance and then nod at me. "We know," Ryoutarou smiles. "That's why you hugged him."

I groan. "It's my fault he was crying—" I protest, but they've already moved on and are discussing how much Teddie adores me. I make a bunch of aggravated noises and lay down on the couch.

"Oh—Wait a minute," Ryota shouts, getting to his feet. He runs up the stairs and I decide to ignore him.

Ryoutarou comes over to the couch and picks me up under my arms and sits, then rests my upper body back on him. "Don't know why he left in such a hurry," he says to me.

"Who cares," I reply and close my eyes. Ryoutarou sighs and rubs my head.

I'm just drifting off for a quick nap when Ryota stampedes back down the stairs. " _I'm_ not a liar." I open my eyes to see him slam a box of chocopies on the kitchen table. I sit up to get my food and Ryoutarou sighs heavily and pushes me back down.

He rolls his eyes at us. "Alright... You're both being pains." Ryoutarou keeps his hand firmly planted on my chest. "You calm yourself down," he tells me. "And you get on home," he nods to Ryota. "Nanako will be here soon and we have more to discuss tonight."

"What?" I stupidly ask.

Ryoutarou shoots me a look. "The koseki. I want to talk about it so she knows I'm researching what we need to do." I nod quickly, feeling guilty that her and I have already talked it out.

"I wouldn't feel right if we don't discuss it first. It'd be like going behind her back, you know?"

_Like how we went behind your back?_

_I'd better text her so she's in the loop..._

But when I reach for my smartphone, Ryoutarou makes an aggravated noise and grabs it away. He angrily tosses it across the room. "I want you to _calm down_."

Ryota takes this opportunity to say goodbye and head back upstairs. "I'll see you Monday," he throws back down.

"Urgh!" I moan and cover my eyes. _Pain in my ass!_

I feel Ryoutarou pat my chest. "We've had a long day. We spoke about a lot of important things... Just— _Rest_."

I huff but stay down. _At least the worst of today is over._

_I think._


	54. Of Boxes (Nanako)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryoutarou asks a Nanako for her opinion on adding Tohru to their family register during dinner. Then he cleans out the second dresser in his room, letting Nanako take some of Chisato's belongings that he'd saved for her. They have a more private talk about Tohru.  
> Then Nanako joins Tohru and Teddie down the hall as Tohru sorts through his stuff. Tohru is still staunchly refusing to bond with Teddie, not wanting to examine their similarities and differences. He goes as far as getting visibly upset that they have matching favorite Pokémon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it! I was worried I wouldn't be able to pull this one off so soon.
> 
> Oyakodon literally means “parent and child over rice”.
> 
> “oya” --> “parent”
> 
> “ko” --> “child”
> 
> “don” --> “over rice”
> 
> It’s chicken and onions cooked in a salty, umami broth and then dumped into a frying pan with “pulled” eggs (not well mixed; just pull the fork through the eggs no more than ten times). Topped with stuff like mitsuba and togarashi. It’s my favorite Japanese dish and I make it at least twice a month—Very homey. I added it into yesterday’s chapter because I was thinking of cooking it for dinner, but if they’re all talking about family, well it makes for a pretty symbolic, happy accident!! XD

Chapter Fifty-Two: Of Boxes

(Nanako)

When I arrive home with Teddie, I'm surprised to smell that Dad and Tohru are already cooking.

“We’re back,” I call out, slipping off my shoes.

“… _Oh_.” Dad sighs when we round the corner and he realizes Teddie is here, too.

I frown, glad that my friend doesn't seem to have noticed—Teddie yells “hello” and runs over to the couch, where he takes out a book I just gave him.

“What?” I ask, piqued my father’s response. “Is there not enough food?”

“That is...” Dad scowls pensively. “We can make more— _It's not_..." He sighs and shakes his head.

Tohru moves out of Dad’s line of sight to try to communicate something by frantically waving his arms around, pantomiming whatever he wants me to know. I squint— _No idea what he’s trying to tell me._

Dad turns around when he sees me watching behind him and the other man throws his hands in the air. “I was just telling her what we’re having,” he slowly enunciates. “It’s _oyako_ don—The _parent-and-child_ dish. As in chicken and egg. As in ‘ _family_ ’,” he stresses. “As in the people you talk about everything _together_ with, all _at once_. As in—"

"She gets the damn picture," Dad brusquely interrupts, before turning to me. "Okay—Give us a few minutes to make another."

Tohru takes the eggs back out of the fridge and tries to tell me something one more time, but he's honestly not very good at this. Teddie mimics him, acting like it's a game, and then Tohru gets angry and pretends to throw an egg at Teddie. He yelps and turns away while Tohru rudely laughs at him.

" _Hurry up,_ " Dad yells at Tohru. The younger man rolls his eyes and start making a fourth serving.

Tohru dumps the broth mix into the pan and cracks two eggs on top while my dad scoops more rice onto a plate, then stands by the stove, apprehensively watching Tohru.

_I wonder what’s got him in such a bad mood this time?_

As I climb the stairs to put my bag away, I can hear the clanking of dishes and spoons being set. Dad is saying something to Teddie in a low voice— _It doesn’t sound negative from the tone. That’s better than before, at least._

When I get back downstairs, everything is laid out and the three are sitting in silence. Teddie beams while Dad frowns and Tohru looks bored, like usual.

No one says anything for a while—Not even Teddie, who's usually so talkative.

"Why are we eating so early?" I ask finally manage to ask.

_And with such a somber attitude. I don’t think it could more difficult than yesterday’s news..._

"He couldn't sit still~" Tohru smirks, pointing his spoon at Dad, who glares while also appearing flustered.

"Why?" Teddie immediately questions. "Did something bad happen again? Are you sick? Did you—"

Teddie stops speaking when Dad turns his glare on him. Tohru giggles nervously.

_Something's up._

"What is it?" I probe, shaking my head. "You're starting to worry me..."

Setting down his spoon, Dad sighs. "I'd like to know what you would think of me adding Tohru to our family register."

"Okay," I nod.

_So that's what Tohru was trying to say before. He probably doesn't want Dad to know we already talked about it._

_He was worried Dad would feel left out—Like Tohru and I decided something on our own again._

_Why is family so complicated?_

"So?" my dad diffidently inquires, taking me back to his question. "Would you think about it and let us know? I'm still finding out what I'd need to do, but..." he trails off, his face clouded with worry.

"Yeah—It's a good idea." I nod again and smile encouragingly at Tohru. He looks away and mumbles something none of us can make out.

"J-just like that?" Dad replies, still looking unsure. "You're _fine_ with it?" he asks again, sounding astonished it was that easy.

He glances at Tohru, seeming almost in shock at my answer— _Like he thought I'd be upset._

"I'm fine with it," I slowly reiterate. "It would be weirder if he stays a part of our family and _isn't_ on the koseki."

Tohru looks embarrassed, staring down at his food. He's turning red. Dad nudges him and Tohru thanks me, flicking his eyes up for only a few seconds—Obviously uncomfortable getting too excited. _He’s always trying not to get his hopes up._

"Aww~~" Teddie grins—Showing maybe too _much_ enthusiasm. He appears torn between excitement and tears. "That's so beary nice!!" He's definitely the _most_ emotional about this, and I have to crack a smile at the one most openly happy.

Tohru grimaces at Teddie's reaction. When Teddie catches him staring, he jumps up to hug Tohru, who holds out his arm to prevent my friend’s usual knee-jerk reaction to hug everyone.

" _Scram!_ " Tohru hollers while Teddie fakes him out and instead runs around behind him to latch onto his neck. “Go away, leech!” Tohru hisses, trying to pry his arms loose.

Dad sighs. " _That's_ why I didn't want him here," he mutters, smacking his forehead.

Tohru grunts, still trying to wrestle Teddie off. "You're _choking_ me, Bear!"

"No I'm not!" Teddie shouts right back.

"I like his energy," I remark. "He makes up for our seriousness."

Dad shakes his head, annoyed. "It's a little much," he grumbles.

I can't help smiling, watching the two of them squabble. _I like the atmosphere with so many people around._

"I'll let you know when I have more information," Dad then tells me, all business-like. "I didn't want to go ahead without us talking about it."

I nod. "Thank you."

" _Ah_ —" he intones, looking like he has more to say. Teddie notices and sits back at his seat, paying attention. Dad looks uncomfortable with everyone watching him, so he takes a few more bites of his food before speaking again.

“Tomorrow we're going out in the morning, and then we're going to move more of Tohru's things into my room— _Our_ room. I have—" he stops abruptly, knitting his brows together and looking distressed.

Dad continues slowly. "I have a few things I was saving for you... If you want them..." He trails off so I glance at Tohru, who shrugs, as if to say he has no idea what this is about either. "What things?" I prompt while my dad fidgets with his spoon.

"S-some of your mother's things—That I-I was saving for when you were older—But I—I think you're old enough," he quickly stammers. "I'll show you after we eat if you want. They're just some clothes and jewelry and... _You know—_ Stuff like that."

"I'd like that," I agree, trying to look happy he told me. _Though this falls under the category of ‘should’ve already happened’._

He smiles weakly back at me. "Alright."

When the food is gone, we all help clean and then head upstairs. Tohru goes into his room with Teddie following closely, and I follow my father into his room. I can hear Tohru trying to shut the door on my friend and I giggle a little. Teddie is shrieking that he wants to help Tohru pack up his stuff.

I haven’t been in Dad’s room in a long time. I’ve always liked the his traditional paper doors, but they definitely don’t make it as quiet as my room or Tohru’s with their western-style doors. My father shakes his head as we can still hear the other two bickering.

He opens the top drawer of the dresser, and inside I can see a few sweaters and dresses alongside a box. Dad motions that I can take the stuff out, so I start by examining the clothes.

He rubs the back of his neck. "These were..." He speaks more quietly than usual. "Some of her favorites. I—Couldn’t get rid of them. I thought when you were tall enough, you might want them."

"Thank you," I reply, examining each article of clothing before folding and stacking them in a pile on top.

_I remember some of these. Only a little though; the memories grow more faint with each year. But..._

_I'm happy he didn't get rid of everything, after all._

Dad reaches inside and pulls out the box when I've finished looking at everything else. He sets it on top and lifts the lid. "She didn't have a lot of jewelry—we were never into flashy things—but you should have it.” He frowns deeply, backing away a little more. “ _I'm sorry_ —" My dad pauses; his voice seeming to fail him.

I watch as Dad shakes his head, looking pained as he gestures for me to have a look. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to give this all to you."

I nod slowly, stepping forward. There are a few necklaces, pairs of earrings, bracelets, barrettes... _I recognize some of the accessories from pictures._

"Do you want them?” Dad anxiously questions.

"Yes," I affirm, looking at the things that have stayed hidden away all these years.

_Why didn't he ask me before now?_

_Why does Dad always hide from things he doesn't want to deal with? It not as if ignoring his problems will make them go away._

I glance over at him curiously, while he studies the floor. I take a deep breath and gather everything up in my arms to carry it all to my own room.

He looks so forlorn—Kind of lost. When he glances up at me, he clears his throat. “I want to let Tohru put his clothes here,” he says. I nod, knowing this was partly why he finally gave me everything. “I need to keep going forward. This was the push I needed.”

_I am happy he's trying to move on, but he needs to actually process everything, or he's only going to hurt the rest of us._

_It's been about ten years—_

_Never even telling me about the things he was saving... He was still shoving bits of the past into literal boxes._

"Hey—” I grin. “This means that you'll have to let me get my ears pierced," I joke, trying to ease the mood a little.

Dad's attention snaps back to me. "W-what?" he dumbly shakes his head.

"Yeah," I assertively tell him. "If not, I can't wear the earnings."

"I—I guess," he replies, looking a little more alert.

"Okay," I conclude. "Well, I'm going to put everything away with my stuff. Is it alright if Teddie stays over again?"

Dad sighs. "That’s what I thought he was angling for. He knows that he doesn't live here, right?”

"Well we're going to have an extra room again," I smirk, challenging him.

"That's—" Dad rolls his eyes. "That's still going to be Tohru's room—Sort of. He should have his own space."

I raise my eyebrows mockingly. "Are you sure it's not because you don't want all of his video games in your room?"

"No," he laughs derisively. "I suppose I don't want _that_ , either."

Then his face turns serious—Like he wants to tell me something important. "You know that he has problems," Dad quietly admits, as if Tohru can hear us all the way down the hall. "It's only be two weeks... I know what I want, and part of that is to make up for lost time, but..."

My dad sighs and rubs his arms. "I don't want him to feel overwhelmed. He should get to have his own place, too. He gets so moody and mean sometimes.”

"Is that why you thought I might not want him to be a part of our family?" I interrogate—Annoyed that he thought these things I’m already aware of would change my mind. "Because he's not stable?"

Dad grimaces. "Not _just_ that," he confesses. "There are a lot of reasons why it may not be a great idea..." He folds his arms defensively. "That is a _part_ of it. But—” He points his index finger at me. “First and foremost, you should feel comfortable in your own home."

"I do."

He nods. "Yes. I know you two get along well— _Mostly_." He frowns and looks like he's going to mention the other day when I chewed Tohru out. But Dad only sighs and lets it go.

_Huh._

_...He's going to let it go? That’s new._

"If you have a problem, please come to me," he says instead of addressing the specific issue we had.

"I can sort out my own problems with others," I carefully reply.

"No," he grunts. "I mean that you..." He glowers at the floor for a minute and shakes his head. "I know all this can't be _easy_ for you—It's been a mess in town. We all have to be on the same page, so tell me if something is wrong."

I meet his gaze. "Alright."

"Good," Dad says, looking a little relieved. " _Ah_ —Make sure you tell me if Tohru starts acting off, too. You should know that if there's a real problem—If it's not something supernatural, like if he won't calm down, I have a list of numbers we can call."

"I’ve made you a copy and left it in the address book." Dad sighs. "There are doctors and other aftercare services on call, and you can put them in your phone.” He locks eyes with me. “It's _important_ that you know that. I promise this isn't going to be some free-for-all like the past two weeks."

_I really doubt that..._

But I smile encouragingly anyhow. "Okay. He seems to want to get along, and I know he's taking his medicine. I think we'll be alright."

"Good—Thanks," Dad nods curtly. "I haven't explicitly told him about the list, so keep it between us. I don't expect there to be something I can't handle."

_That's awfully optimistic._

_If that were true, you wouldn't have been stabbed or started drinking again._

I chew on the inside of my cheek. "All right. I'll keep it in mind."

“Thank you," my dad says as I leave the room.

After putting everything away, I walk to Tohru's room to find Teddie. When I open the door, I see that Tohru is attempting to organize his things while Teddie chatters away from the couch.

"Nana!" Teddie waves me over. I sidestep a pile of books and a few expensive-looking figures to join Teddie. "Look!! He has Pokémon plushes!" Teddie grabs a large umbreon off the pile of stuffed animals and holds it up. "This is _his_ favorite!!"

Tohru groans and snatches it away. " _Don't. Touch. My. Stuff!!_ " he loudly scolds.

"He couldn't find the espeon," Teddie sadly states, paying Tohru no mind.

"It's in here _somewhere_ ," Tohru grumbles. "I have _all_ of the eeveeloutions from the first three gens. I won them in Tokyo,” he proudly tells us.

"He says he's _really good_ at catcher games!!" Teddie innocently beams. "Espeon is _my_ favorite—Isn’t that cool? They’re a good team!” He nods a bunch of times, explaining more about the pair of Pokémon. “I hope he can find it... If he leaves it in here, I won’t have to sleep alone!”

Teddie eagerly watches Tohru move around the suddenly cramped space. I can hear Tohru swear under his breath at Teddie— _I doubt he’s actually lost it._

I look around at the chaos. _In two weeks he's really made quite the mess._

_There are games and books and uneaten snacks and figures and even weapons all over the place... Not to mention the laundry that's been left on top of the dresser. I can't tell if it's clean or dirty, the way it’s all balled up instead of folded._

"Do you need some help?" I ask, concerned that this could take hours.

"No," he grunts. "I've got this..." I watch as he pulls some volumes of manga out of a cardboard box. I can see a few more full boxes in the closet that I hadn’t noticed before.

"Tohru-jisan," I gasp, just now realizing the obvious. "Have you _not unpacked_?"

His eyes go wide. " _N-n-no!_ ” he stutters, giving me a black look and upending the box so the books fall into a pile on the futon. “I just _liked_ where you and Ryou put everything—It was simpler in boxes!" he protests. Teddie laughs and Tohru takes off a sandal and throws it at him. "I—I didn't wanna have to unpack _twice_..." he continues to object, turning red like at dinner when he realizes what that implies.

I try to hide my laughter behind my hand. "Are you saying you _knew_ you wouldn't be staying in here for long?" I tease.

"No!" Tohru replies, vigorously scratching his head. "I-it was all just t-too much of a pain... _That's_ it!" He smirks triumphantly, putting the books back in order by series.

"Right," I agree, deadpan. "But you do need to clear a places for Teddie to sleep."

"Yeah," Tohru grunts, starting to move the figures to the bookshelf and the weapons to the drawers of the now-empty dresser. Then he fills a laundry basket with handheld games, books, and plushes.

"I'm going," Tohru stubbornly announces, grabbing a suspiciously lumpy sweatshirt from on top of the dresser and stuffing it under his armpit. He hefts the heavy-looking basket under the other arm and drags the rolling suitcase with his free hand. "Ryou says we’re doing the clothes tomorrow."

_I can see one pointy, purple ear poking out of the messily-folded sweatshirt._

I know I have a smug look on my face. _He lost the espeon, did he?_

Tohru quickly adjusts the sweatshirt when he catches me staring. I raise my eyebrows but don’t say anything. "G'night," he begrudgingly says to us.

"Good night," I call after him while Teddie's already up and pacing the room to examine all of Tohru’s other possessions that have been taken out of different boxes—

_All of the things that are now out in the open._


	55. Is he empty on the inside? (Teddie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddie wants to hang out with the other guys while Nanako’s busy. He and Tohru seem to get along until he unwittingly triggers one of Tohru’s outbursts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was wary of going through with this one, because it feels like more steps both forwards and backwards. I appreciate plot feedback from both Milligramme and Ribbons :D
> 
> Chapter title—Going with my Teddie-was-Tohru-Shadow theory... Teddie was literally empty on the inside. Tohru was metaphorically. He’s listed as “emptiness” as opposed to “hope”!

Chapter Fifty-Three: Is he empty on the inside?

(Teddie)

Once Tohru’s gone, we sit and talk about the book Nana gave me, then we turn on the television. But nothing good is on, so we simply talk and poke fun at a variety show for a while.

When Nanako checks her watch, she says it’s already almost nine. I usually just shower in the morning, but she wants to bathe before bed.

"I'll be back soon," Nanako tells me and shuffles off to her room.

_I’ve already looked at everything new._

_Tohru took all the portable games. And the consoles won't turn on—I think he took some of the parts..._

_The manga is mostly gone, too._

_I don’t just wanna sit here by myself! Why's he gotta be like that?!_

_Nnnn!! I’ll show him~_

I stand up and walk— _okay maybe I run_ —down the hall. I know Tohru and Dojima are still up. Or at least Tohru is, cause I can hear the noise from game he's playing.

I slide the door open and hear Dojima yelp. "Oi!! _Knock_!" he shouts at me.

I wince, but then open my eyes. Now he's sighing in aggravation while he smokes a cigarette leaning out the balcony.

Tohru laughs at me, even though _he's_ the one who looks funny. He’s laying on the futon naked playing with his Vita. "Don't you know what doors mean?" he scoffs. "Even _I_ know to knock! Now close the damn thing so I don't scar Nanako for life."

I do close it behind me, and then I sit on the futon right next to Tohru. "Why are you naked?"

"Cause this is how I sleep," Tohru says really sarcastically, like he's explaining something to a child.

"He meant to close it with you on the other side, kid," Dojima mutters. He's wearing clothes, and I think he's been smoking a lot. The air's thick even though the outside door was open. He walks over and sits down with us. He takes out another cigarette and uses Tohru's lighter on it.

I look between them. "Should _I_ sleep naked?" I ask.

"Not in _my_ bed!" Tohru snarls, kicking me.

Dojima lightly smacks the back of his head. " _This_ is your bed now."

"But—" Tohru begins, but then stops when Dojima rolls his eyes.

Dojima pokes Tohru in the side and Tohru does that thing where he hisses. Dojima blows smoke in Tohru's face. "You only get _one_." Then he turns to me. "And you _don't_ do that here," he instructs. "Only at your own home, on your own time—In fact you should start sleeping there again.”

Dojima sees me processing that and sighs. "Tohru can sleep naked because this is his home and his room."

"Then what's the other room?" I question, ignoring that he said to stay at home.

" _Also_ my room," Tohru smirks.

"We're not leaving that futon out forever," Dojima warns. "If you're officially living in here, that room will become— _Ugh_ ," he pauses. "I guess it’ll become more of a game room. Never thought I'd have a room for TV games in my house..."

"But you also never thought you'd get to go _inside_ of a TV, did you?" Tohru smartly replies, grinning.

Dojima shakes his head and sighs out more smoke. Tohru makes an annoyed noise and flaps his hand to make the smoke dissipate a little.

"And don't forget the figures and plushes and CDs and manga and everything~" I list.

"Yup!" Tohru agrees, kicking his feet in the air.

"What am I doing with my life?" Dojima loudly grumbles, but doesn't appear particularly upset. In fact, he's looking on adoringly, the way Kanji watches at videos of little animals. Or how Nanako looks at me.

_It’s cute, and—_

_And something is starting to click—_

_They're always together. A few days ago Tohru said they're more than best friends. Tohru is gonna be an official part of their family._

I look down at the futon and how Tohru's lying down across the whole thing like it's all his. _They sleep in the same futon._

_Oh, and they live together, obviously._

After he puts out his current cigarette, Dojima reaches for the pack and lighter again, but Tohru groans and knocks his hand away. "You've had like half the pack! You're gonna smell _so bad_..."

Dojima frowns at him and Tohru snickers like he's made a joke. Then he sits up, cross-legged, and sets down his Vita. Tohru grabs the lighter and opens the top. He runs his hand over where the fire spurts up and it turns on like magic. He flicks his eyes to meet mine, and I can see him suppressing a laugh.

I gasp when he snaps it shut, which makes Tohru grin widely. He holds out the closed lighter between the two of us. "Watch," he commands me.

Tohru moves his fingers so fast I can't tell when the lighter opens and closes—Can only hear the clicks and see the flame jump between his fingers. I've never seen anything like this!

“Don’t blink now~” Tohru says in a singsong voice. He spins it through the air, so the fire dances different shapes and patterns. I keep my eyes on the little light.

"Woooow~~" I cheer when he finally closes his fist with the lighter inside.

He tosses the lighter behind himself and I clap. Seeing he still has an audience, Tohru dramatically bows.

"Can't get enough attention, huh?" Dojima teases, laughing. He grabs Tohru in a headlock and rubs his head.

"D-dammit!" Tohru whines, but he's giggling, too.

Watching them interact like this—joking and play-fighting and being nice to each other—the rest of the pieces suddenly fall in place.

_Always paying attention to how the other is feeling. Always looking out for each other. Always touching each other._

"Are you in love?" I blurt.

The two men freeze, and then exchange a glance. _The looks they shoot between them feel more like an argument this time._

"He's _mine_ and—" Tohru rushes to declare.

Dojima sighs and moves his hand from Tohru's head to grab one of his arms and pin it behind his back. Tohru glares, but Dojima isn't finished. He uses the leverage from the arm to bend Tohru so I can't see his face. "That's enough," Dojima reprimands. "Don't _poison_ the kid..."

Tohru mutters something but I can't make it out. Dojima rolls his eyes and leans on Tohru's arm until he grunts.

Satisfied Tohru's done talking, Dojima turns back to me. "Simply put: yes. We are in love. I love Tohru, and while he can call it whatever he wants, I know the little jackass loves me too."

Dojima lets go of Tohru and he springs back to sitting. "And I'm his," he finishes his previous sentence, sneering at Dojima over his shoulder. "I still don't believe in love."

Tohru flinches when Dojima closes his eyes for minute and pinches the bridge of his nose, looking really aggravated. "But," Tohru adds more quietly. "We're in a committed relationship." He flicks his gaze to Dojima again, who's shaking his head.

" _I'd do anything for him,_ " Tohru mumbles, turning his eyes down to the futon. "And I like..." His voice get so soft that I can't make out all the words anymore. "Thinks... Loves me..."

Dojima stares at Tohru super fondly. "So?" Dojima tells me. "It's complicated, but yes." Tohru doesn't interrupt, so Dojima asks if that answers my question.

"I love Nanako," I tell them.

"We know," Tohru replies, grumbly. " _All of Inaba knows_."

I nod. "Good! _Everyone_ should know!!" I pause, watching them again. "Why don't _you_ tell everybody? I didn't know because you don't always act like you're in love."

Tohru sighs disgustedly and Dojima puts a hand on his shoulder. " _Bear_ ," Tohru spits, sounding angry. "Where were you the past five years? Did you _forget_ that I was in prison for a double homicide?" He stops for a breath and Dojima decides to grab his other shoulder and drags the smaller man closer.

Tohru seethes, still not speaking. "Hey, c'mon," Dojima says to him in a way I can tell is supposed to calm Tohru down. But he's turning redder and angrier still— _If that’s even possible._ Dojima sighs and wraps his arms around Tohru, linking his hands together and leaning his head backwards like he's bracing himself.

"Why are you so damn _dumb_?!" Tohru shouts, trying to jump to his feet. He can't, but it doesn't phase him. Tohru's eyes look kind of scary, and I don't think he even realizes that Dojima is holding him back. “Or are you just playing stupid?!” He tries to lunge at me again and again as he continues to rant.

"It's not acceptable for anybody to be in love with me—And he's a _cop_! We were _partners_!! I screwed him over so good—You expect people to just _accept_ that now we're together and _be cool_ with it?!"

_I forgot they were talking about the other people at the police station..._

I hug my arms together, feeling bad. _I’m not dumb, but maybe I shouldn’t have said anything._

Dojima's straining to hang onto Tohru. "Why don't we all call it a night?" He tersely interjects when Tohru stops to catch his breath again.

" _Nooo!_ You wouldn't know, would you? Everyone _always_ loves Teddie, the _happy little idiot who's kind to everyone_ —"

"G'night," I squeak and rush for the door.

" _Nothing like me—S_ ee?!" Tohru yells after me. " _This_ is how I am! _Nobody should love me!!_ "

I close the door, but stay behind it for a few minutes. I hear Tohru going on about how he doesn't deserve anything we all give him—How we'd all be better off if he died or suffered in jail forever.

_That's not true..._

Dojima is shushing him and speaking in a soothing voice. He keeps telling Tohru to stop saying these awful things, that they make him really sad.

_He really thinks all that? Do we make him feel like that?_

_...Do I?_

_Do I make him feel bad too?_

_I always like to point out how we're similar, but is that making things worse?_

_'Nothing like me', he said. 'Nobody should love me'._

_That sounds so lonely that I don't even wanna think about it!_

I listen again and realize that Tohru's stopped shrieking and started crying. It quickly changes to a quieter, whimpery sobbing—I can tell it's the kind where you're all worn out so it's mostly just uncontrollable shaking.

All of a sudden, I feel my hands being tugged on. I didn't realize I had wound my fingers through my hair and was gripping my head. I don't know how much of everything she heard, but Nanako holds a finger to her lips and motions to follow her.

She pulls me into her room and shuts the door. "Sorry," she apologizes, tucking her wet hair behind her ears. "It sounded like he was starting to get ahold of himself." She sits on her bed, leaning against the wall. "Didn't want to jinx it..."

Nana pats the spot next to her and I climb up ant sit, too. "Are you alright?" she questions, putting her arm around me.

I scratch the back of my head. "I think so..."

"What happened?"

"He doesn't think anyone loves him," I say, and it sounds whiny.

Nanako nods. "I know. It's not true, though."

My face scrunches up. "It sounds so unbearably lonely to think that, even if it's not true."

"I know," she says again. "It's not going to get better overnight. We just have to keep being kind and showing him we care, right?"

"Yeah... I guess..." I look over at Nanako. "There isn't a quicker way?"

"Nn-nn," she shakes her head. "Love takes time, and he really doesn't understand it at all—Or want to admit that he deserves it as much as anyone else."

Nana looks at me and sighs. “I don’t know all the ins and outs, but...” She hesitates. “But there’s something about Tohru-jisan where he understand a lot of feelings. That’s not going to get better so quickly.”

She grimaces and I know she’s thinking ‘ _maybe not ever_ ’. “We’ll just have to be extra-patient with him.”

“I don’t get it,” I tell her.

“I know,” Nanako replies. Then she takes her phone out and starts to type.

"Is something wrong?" I ask, felling worn-out and sleepy.

"No," she says. "Don't worry." After half a minute she clicks it off and tosses it by her pillow. “Are you okay to go to sleep?”

I nod and get to my feet. “Have a good sleep,” I mumble and hug her before heading for the door.

“You too,” Nana replies and I can hear the warm smile in her voice. “If you need me, come get me.”

 _I’ll be fine._ I wave to her and shut the door behind myself.

_I wish he knew we’re not real opposites. I wish he understood that we see the bad parts and the good. They’re both in there—That’s what it means to be a person._

_He wants us to remember only the bad, but there’s more. I keep seeing it—The others see it. And then he hides it away again._

“You can tell me. Let me understand...”

“I wanna help.”


	56. Back on Track (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We pick up from Teddie bolting out of the room. Tohru’s still pitching a fit, but eventually the guys fall asleep. Ryoutarou doesn’t sleep much, however. He’s woken up again by Tohru’s bad dreams. We get a little more insight into their last few months together during canon. Then a little of Sunday morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I’m being definitely too ridiculous with the email handles. I’m so, so sorry... But not enough because they made me laugh. “Deka” is actually one of the words for detective in Japanese; I shit you not. “Yankiisuwari” [ヤンキー座り] is considered the ‘smoking-squatting’ pose. Like the flat-footed squat, but while smoking and looking tough. It felt like it fit. Fun fact: Adachi has already set up his own little server in his spare time (which was WHEN, right?!) and named his stuff after the “Spirit of Calamity” that his Izanagi gets it’s name from~
> 
> Also some nice people have helped me to figure out my story likely begins in the months following P5, for reference!
> 
> Tags have been added again! Starting with a phone call to Honda in a few chapters, we're going to begin truly entering crossover-mode. I'm going to use AU versions of some Devil Survivor 1 characters, as well as elements from that specific iteration of the SMT universe. At least one more character will show up, but not till Yakusoku, AND I will NOT be tagging them until they are revealed, as was done with my first run-through of "Oretachi" with Kubo. It ruins the suspense :D
> 
> (I also gave Yuudai her own tag as "Dojima's Mother". I mean, the Doujima FRIDGE has it's own tag, people!!)

Chapter Fifty-Four: Back on Track

(Ryoutarou)

Once Teddie leaves, Tohru rants and raves for another few minutes. I keep hanging onto him cause he’s acting—kind of—maybe more than ‘kind of’—deranged.

_More of the same crap being rehashed because Teddie unwittingly made him feel inadequate. Not that it’s particularly difficult._

I sigh and try talking sense into him again, but no go.

_Truly—That kid is too sweet and innocent. It really drives Tohru bonkers..._

When the hollering finally abates to screeching, I loosen my grip to more of a hug. And when the crying starts, I know the worst is over. Tohru finally prizes me off and pushes himself away from me to scrunch up with his hands over his head.

"No," I softly groan, lying down next to him. I pull until he's rolled over and facing me. I hold him while he continues to shake, still intermittently claiming that he's shit.

"Let's go to sleep," I gently tell Tohru. _There isn't much else I can say or he'll get worked up again._

_I think this is the worst it's been—Well for this specific topic. There have been a few times he’s lashed out at other people. But he’s never tried to be violent with Teddie._

_He isn’t the nicest to the kid, but he treats him better than, say Kanji or Ryota. How long—_

_How long was he keeping it a secret that kid was his shadow?_

“...shit...” he’s still saying. “...turns to...shit...”

I grit my teeth and tell him to stop it—

_I hate this. I hate it!_

_I hate that it's gotten this bad—That he keeps saying he really feels this way. I don't know what else I can do besides keep showing him that he’s worth it._

I pat Tohru with my hand. "You'll feel better in the morning."

_And I hope I'll feel better in the morning._

When he still doesn't cooperate at all—not even to stop clutching his head—I roll over again and drag him on top of me like that night at the ryokan. He doesn't object, so I go as far as to slide his legs between mine. I cross my arms over him and try to relax a little, knowing this way if he gets up I'll notice.

Somewhere along the line I must have fallen asleep, because I’m jolted awake by his sleep-crying again. It's just the whining for now, but I'm starting to be conditioned to wake up when it happens. _It sets me on edge._

_How long does something like this last?_

_At least he doesn't scream like he did when we first started sleeping in the same bed. That got gradually better, until..._

I groan aloud. It got better up until October. _Which I suppose is when things started going downhill for him._

Then it ramped up until he wasn't sleeping at all, by the end. I would go to bed and he'd be laying down silently watching me. Then I'd wake up and he'd be somewhere else in the room, rushing over when he noticed I was up. It was a little annoying at the time—I like being the first person awake—but I didn't think much of it.

_Back then I certainly didn’t think it was because he simply wasn’t sleeping._

I hadn’t thought out that I wouldn’t easily be able to move, sleeping like this. _I’d like to know what time it is. Sun’s nowhere near up. I’m hazarding maybe three or four?_

_Definitely didn’t fall asleep until at least one. He’s quiet, and I don’t want to get up too early..._

Fumbling above my head on the floor, I finally manage to grab Tohru’s phone. I know the basics— _This button should turn it on._

I press the button and see I was right. _It’s quarter-to-four—_

_And there’s an email:_

**From: Hisa <yankiisuwarigecko@untouchable.com>**

**To: Izanagi <dirtydeka@magatsuhi.net>**

**Re: no your handle is not funny**

After catching that little bit, I realize too late that I never want to be that person who reads people’s emails. _Thankfully, I wouldn’t know his password even if I did think I want a look. As long as it’s nothing illeg—_

_Alright. I’ll ask in the morning..._

_He’s never mentioned ‘Hisa’ before. And it says ‘yanki’._

_He doesn’t mention anyone, really. But that’s beside the point._

Tossing the thing behind me, I try to sleep again.

The next time I wake up, he’s doing that disconcerting thing with the staring again, like I was remembering in the middle of the night. Tohru’s eyes look tired, like he didn’t sleep at all even though I know he did. _But it wasn’t restful._

“Mornin’,” Tohru tells me.

“Hey,” I yawn. “Feel any better?”

He nods and rolls off of me so I can sit. I reach for my cigarettes and he picks up the lighter, sighing, and flicks it on for me. “First thing?” Tohru questions.

“You got a better idea?” I mumble around the paper stick.

I see Tohru shake his head and toss the lighter away. He picks up his cell phone and checks the time. “Oh,” he gasps. “Hey—I got a reply.” He mutters something under his breath and types away quickly.

“What is it?” I cautiously ask. “I—I saw the subject line last night. I was checking the time, and—”

Tohru snorts and cuts me off. “Snooping?” he sneers, and I feel a spike of worry until he bursts out laughing. “Kidding! You didn’t open it, and I wouldn’t care anyways... He’s a friend from Tokyo. We’ll be visiting on our way to Narita—Just so you know. He has some stuff that _is legal_ and helpful.”

I don’t answer right away and Tohru huffs and throws the phone onto the mattress. “W-what?” he spits, narrowing his eyes.

I sigh out smoke. “I didn’t say anything,” I manage. “Why’re you...”

_Why are you so defensive?_

Narrowing his eyes but trying to play it off, Tohru laughs a little too high. “Just wanted to make sure we were on the same page~”

“Is it something that has to do with personas?” I try, attempting to get him back on track and less touchy.

“Sort of,” he cryptically replies.

He doesn’t divulge anything else, so I finish the cigarette in silence. “Well if you want to tell me, I’ll listen. If not, that’s alright, too. As long as it’s nothing that’ll land us in trouble.”

I stand and stretch before changing into shorts and a tank top. “Get dressed. Let’s go for a run.”

Tohru groans loudly and lays down on the futon again. “Nuh-uh,” I tell him. “Let’s work off some of you excess energy.” I root around for an extra pair of shorts and a tee-shirt. “Here,” I toss the clothes to him, along with a pair of socks. “ _Don’t_ wake the poor kid. Let’s go.”

I hear him mutter something else when he stands to pull the clothes on.

" _What?_ " I demand. "Something you want to share?"

He pulls the ties on the shorts so much I wince. Tohru sighs dramatically. "I _said_ I like you in tank tops. They look good on you."

"O-oh." I scratch my face. "I ah—I like it when you wear work clothes. You look like you're in charge."

He “hmmph”s me. "I'm _always_ in charge~" Tohru then scoffs

I raise an eyebrow. "Don't push it."

Tohru laughs a little more normally as we head downstairs.

\---***---

When we return, it’s still only six-thirty. Nanako is awake—I can hear her walking around in her room, but she stays in there.

We shower and change. I creep into Tohru’s room to grab more of his clothes; I’d rather he not wake Teddie.

_I want their next interaction to be positive._

I carry a short-sleeve button-down and shorts into our room and pass them to Tohru. He grumbles while he gets dressed and I have to chuckle. “You alright?” I ask him.

“Yessir!” he jeers. “The performing monkey is ready to be lead around town~”

“We’re staying here,” is my clipped response.

Tohru balks. “Huh?” He looks surprised. “I thought this was the day you’re making me go with you to the cemetery. I was trying to get myself mentally ready all morning for this.”

I roll my eyes. “Let’s postpone until you’re feeling better.”

He glares defensively. “I’m not feeling _not_ -better.”

“Today is going to be difficult enough as it is,” I try.

“Today is going to be a shitshow and we all know it. I’m _fine_ ,” he insists, circling around behind me. “I’ll be fine all day.”

“Yeah,” I quip. “Because last night—”

Tohru cuts me off and pushes me to the door. “Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready to go. I _told_ you I’d do this today, okay? Then when we come back we’ll finish moving my stuff over all happy-happy. Now move,” he commands.

_I’m not sure—_

But he’s already shoved me out the door. “Don’t wake the kid,” I tell the closed door.

“I _won’t_ ,” he grumbles, and I can hear him rummaging around through his stuff.


	57. Chanto (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In light of yesterday’s outbursts, Ryoutarou had decided to throw caution to the wind—Telling Tohru his feelings in an almost embarrassing way. He even goes as far as to call Tohru his will-be new last name.
> 
> Then Tohru has some moments of reflection while he waits for Ryoutarou. His psyching-up this morning? He has a few things to say to the deceased himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Chanto" means "diligently" or "steadily".
> 
> Also Tohru’s monologue ended up being a bit longer than I wanted... Hope it’s not too much ^^;
> 
> Guys... I've been rereading some chapters on mobile and editing mistakes. Looking back and thinking about my tangled, convoluted, downright chaotic plot, you must all wonder what kind of life I lead!! It's fairly normal and average, right now, if not a little boring. We're an otaku/writer and a developer (who has extreme social anxiety). And two dogs. It's nice and calm~
> 
> I've chatted with some people individually, but never divulged this in a note. I take some of Tohru's neuroses and anxieties from my own life and past (I promise I'm not a murderer and I've never been to jail—though I now know more about prison than anyone I know!), and hope I give a good depiction of them. Especially PTSD, which I struggled through for about two years, and now it only flares up during certain times of the year.
> 
> Thank you for reading, as always! I hope I can bring a little realism to some of our favorite characters. It has been such a fun—though sometimes sad—and always-interesting journey!

Chapter Fifty-Two: Chanto

(Tohru)

On this morning's deathmarch, all I'm able to think about are the emails.

_For starters, I didn't even think Hisa would respond. I thought I was out a supplier. And then I had to get all paranoid thinking Ryoutarou would just know—_

_That he'd figure out in five seconds flat that we were—_

_Well it wasn't really much of a 'relationship'. We only ever met up at the shop. It was maybe a year or so until that one time his brat came by and he was practically shitting himself and called it off. After that, I still got my guns, but that was all I got._

_Then when he heard I was to be shipped off for shooting someone... He gave me a parting gift and said it'd be better if we didn't speak._

_So I kept my word. Until I realized I need to up my game, that is. I'm sure he knows all about my ex-con status, but for some reason he's still biting._

_Now the second email could be more of a real, pressing problem. It's from someone simply calling themselves 'Niichan', which I find highly suspicious._

_And all it says is to make sure I help someone who needs it. That someone useful to me will be crossing my path today. That I'll "quickly regret not seizing the opportunity"._

_I find it very disturbing that someone found my new handle so quickly, and that they're comfortable making threatening statements like that._

_The worst part is that I have no clue who the sender is. I forward it to Mitsuo without replying to the original. Maybe he can figure it out..._

After I've kicked Ryoutarou out of the bedroom with the promise that I won't bother Teddie, I search for that goddamn espeon. I need some sort of peace offering and he really wanted to play with the damn thing. He'll probably be satisfied even with the condition that he has to keep it here.

So I attach a note it: 'LEAVE AT DOJIMA HOUSE'. I put it in front on my closed door, jumping when I hear Nanako's open from behind me.

"Hey Tohru-jisan," she greets me.

"H-hi," I reply, unsure if she's angry with me.

Nanako smiles a little. "Are you trying to make up with him?"

"N—" I instinctively start to tell her 'no', but stop myself. "Yes," I glumly admit.

"Good," she nods. "He'll like that."

I rub my head, feeling anxious. "C-could you make sure he's up before we get back?" I practically beg.

She nods. "Not a problem," Nanako tells me. "I'll give him a little time to process this."

I nod back and head downstairs. Ryoutarou asks me one more time if I'm sure I want to go today. I tell him off and get in the car. _I know we're not gonna move forward again until he makes whatever sliver of peace he thinks he'll get out of this._

"It's almost Obon," he says during the drive. "We should make sure it looks respectable..."

 _I wonder when he last visited._ Part of me wonders if I'll always feel like I'm a poor replacement for the perfect wife.

But another part of me has felt more comfortable in my own role of—

_Okay I don’t know what my role can be called, but it's definitely different that 'perfect' or 'wife'._

I laugh to myself and Ryoutarou looks at me funny. I stick my tongue out. He rolls his eyes and turns back to the road.

When we arrive, I tell Ryoutarou to go into the office on his own. The last thing we need is one more gossiper.

He comes out weighed down with what we'll need for tidying up. He doesn’t ask me to carry anything, simply walks ahead to lead the way to his family grave.

_Aaaand it's a mess..._

I gawk while Ryoutarou sets everything down neatly. _I guess it has been a while._

_I don't know what I expected. He couldn't have been spending all his time here, what with his frequent visits to see me._

_I find this reassuring and I think I'm an asshole._

"It'll go quicker if you help," he smirks at me, holding out a paper bag.

I sigh and step forward to start pulling up weeds. He slowly scrubs the stone in silence.

“I’ve been forced to face my own mortality lately, what with being stabbed. All my years on the force... Never injured on the job, but stabbed on my day off instead.” He pauses ad says the next part very deliberately. "This'll be yours too, you know."

I shoot Ryoutarou a sideways glance. He keeps working, not bothering to look over at me—Probably knows I'm burning a hole through his back.

"You don't have a family, right? If you're on my register, I expect you'll rest here, too."

I frown. " _That's stupid._ "

"You want Nanako to have to hold onto your ashes forever?" he sarcastically gibes.

"No..."

Ryoutarou turns to me. "Then you'll come here. With the rest of us."

"I want my name next to yours," I tell him—Conceding only a little.

He snorts. "I'll go second anyhow. Put mine in the middle."

" _Fine,_ " I answer.

_I would like to know I have somewhere to go. Don’t know where the others even are._

"Good. I'll be back," Ryoutarou says, scooping up the first bucket of gravel to wash it at the spigot. He's got a glint in his eye that I don't care for.

" _Dojima Tohru,_ " he murmurs for the first time as he walks by and I know I start smiling despite the feeling that I need to seem annoyed.

_I haven't agreed yet._

_To any of it._

_Have I?_

Once we've finished, Ryoutarou steps back nods to himself. He takes my hand, but I wriggle free and fold my arms.

"It's fine," Ryoutarou pleads, now moving behind me. I glare suspiciously. "There isn't anyone else here. It's a sunny Sunday morning. Regular people have better things to do than visit their graves at this time of day."

I roll my eyes but stay put. Ryoutarou wraps his arms around me and sighs. He leans his forehead on the back of my head. He doesn't say anything else and we stand there for a while.

And by the way he's shaking I know that today _he's_ crying. Silent sobs wrack his body as he lets it out.

I grip his arms and let him have his private moment. _I know he needs it._

"Cards on the table—” he quietly says to the back of my head. “I have one more thing to ask of you. But it's extremely selfish." I sit quietly and wait to see what Ryoutarou wants.

"After _I'm_ gone," he exhales. "You can obviously do as you like. But please don't move yourself off my koseki. Or at least keep my name. I want to know you'll be with me—You know... _Forever_."

I laugh derisively and he sighs. "I know it's childish of me," he relents. "But I wanted to know your answer."

"I can do that."

_Don't know why you'd want that but whatever._

_It's maybe what I want, too._

Now the grave and plot are clean and neat and Ryoutarou's done being emotional. He lights a sick of incense and kneels, bowing his head. He brings his hands together in silent prayer. I watch from a little behind him, not wanting to intrude on his moment with his deceased wife.

I scratch my head. _What am I supposed to do?_

I don't copy him—don't have the nerve—though I do fold my hands at my waist. _I can be respectful._

I feel my thoughts drift off as I try talking to this person I only know through others' memories. It's weird, but that's the new normal.

_I've never met you and never can, so I only know what people tell me—Which are all good things. As if you were literally an angel. Just the best, most big-hearted person._

_You're the one who first chipped away at Ryoutarou's loneliness and made him want to love people. You're Nanako's mother, who still guides many of her ideals._

_You sound like the perfect person who didn't have a single bad bone in her body—Like someone who isn't petty like me._

_But if I were you, I probably wouldn't like me. Not at all._

_I'd resent me. I'd be bitter and angry that there's this terribly bad fit who's now the third in my family, while I was stuck watching everything play out from far away._

_Because I know I've screwed up so badly. I almost got both of your most precious people killed. I was a terrible person._

_Last night I made the better version of myself cry again. I hate what's literally my better self._

_And this is so fucking shitty of me—_

_But I hope and wish you don't resent me. That you don't hate me and curse me from up in Nanako's pure little version of heaven._

_I hope that, and I'm horrible for having those feelings. They're cowardly and self-serving._

_Because when it comes down to the truth: over the years I've definitely I've resented you._

_There's no way I could ever live up to their image of you, and for a long time that bothered me very much. Your memory makes me feel inadequate—Inferior._

_I'm a naturally jealous person—Something I know deep down that I need to try to correct. It shouldn't be like that. You're the one who made Ryoutarou and Nanako a family._

_You had a huge hand in making them the people they are today._

_So while I'll always be somewhat envious that you shaped these people into the ones I care about so much, I'll never be you. And I'm starting to realize that I don't have to._

_I am not a replacement—I'm not a mother or a wife. I'm not even a father. I'm just 'Tohru'. And I'm 'jisan'._

_I have my own place in this family—Distinct from yours._

_Our roles can coexist because they're not the same._

_There isn't much I can do, but I'm trying. I'm doing my best to care about and protect Ryoutarou and Nanako. I'm working to help them build themselves into better people—_

_Like finally cutting off the liquor, even though that was hard for me. It's completely underhanded, but his drinking is the only way I thought I could get Ryoutarou to open up and realize that he could have feelings for me._

_I liked him so, so much it drove me nuts. I needed someone. If you can see everything, then you know about the murders. You know it was out of spite because people wouldn't give me a chance. When people I perceived to be loose even found me so repulsive, I couldn't begin to trust that someone so seemingly heteronormative would ever consider being with me sober._

_That was wrong. I know now that it can't be how you build a relationship. It's not real trust. And I learned pretty damn quick that he wouldn't fool around with someone he didn't have feelings for._

_I felt guilty he said he loved me, you should know._

_But I also felt powerful; like I had something no one else did. Like there was something that could fix me and make me stronger._

_But it's not about 'fixing'. It's about 'growing'._

_And I'm trying to slowly fill the holes in his relationship with Nanako. She doesn't trust him, and he doesn't act like a real parent. I bet that makes you as angry as me and Kanji. I promise to keep building bridges between them. I promise to keep making them talk things out. To keep helping them better understand each other._

_And..._

_I'm truly sorry that my selfishness almost got them both killed. That I couldn't control the asshole I am on the inside._

_So please—_

_I have no idea what you think of me... But if you're out there, and you're listening..._

_Please watch over Ryoutarou and Nanako. I know they both love you and miss you very much._

_And if you're really as big-hearted as I've heard, then please watch over me too. Because I will continue to do my best—I know I don't always get it right, but I'll keep on trying—so please help me be the person they need. Someone who helps them have happy lives._

I open my eyes to realize Ryoutarou has finished and is standing next to me. "Drifting off?" he jokes.

"Something like that," I mumble.

We collect everything from the office and return it. Then he grabs my hand as we amble back to the car.

"I love you," he easily tells me as we walk along.

"I'm yours," I testily reply.

He laughs loudly for a minute. "Pretty soon you will be~" he sings and I can feel my face getting hot.

" _Dojima Tohru._ " He says it again—this time so seriously—before snickering a little. “Get used to it.” And I'm happy he's walking a little in front of me, because I am one-thousand percent certain that I'm blushing like I have a sunburn.

_I like that._

_I want that._

I feel myself smiling despite the fact that those are scary feelings. Because today they seem a little less like an omen of failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Yakusoku" Update: It will include DeSu1 stuff as mentioned, as well as at least one P5 character. At some point in the future, I hope to do a P5 dungeon, but I haven't finished playing yet. (I watched Iwai's slink because Milligramme has a headcanon that Adachi got his high-quality, modifiable toy gun from Iwai's store and I wanted to include this!!)
> 
> It's only been about a week since Nanako heard from Marie, by the way. "Yakusoku" will likely not go into whatever brings her to the Velvet Room. I need more time to plan out a longer (in-story time) plot. But I hope to start on it with whatever comes after Yakusoku. I still ain't done yet!!


	58. Complements (Teddie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddie wakes up and sees the plush left for him—Knows that Tohru is trying to make up. Then he talks to Nanako about the previous night. She sheds a little light, as usual knowing more than anyone gives her credit for. Then she tries to get Teddie and Tohru to talk. Tohru get a phone call from Mitsuo, who couldn’t help with the weird email, and Tohru heads back inside—Leaving Teddie and Nanako to themselves for a little while before Yuudai is to show up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I explained what an onibaba is before? It’s a cronish demon or some other youkai. Basically, NOT a nice term. My dictionary defines it as “hag; witch; bitch; spiteful old woman”.
> 
> The next chapter is gonna be on the longer side. I just have too many Tohru-Things to squeeze in... It should be up tomorrow, but I’m not positive it’ll be done in time.
> 
> You'll notice we've hit the final ten chapters!! Thanks for reading~ Please take the time to leave me a comment about what you have or haven't liked!

Chapter Fifty-Six: Complements

(Teddie)

I wake up and it's quiet.

_Much quieter than last night. I wonder if anybody is even home!_

Sun is coming in through the window, making little fluttery patterns on the floor around me. _It looks like a nice day out. I wonder if everyone else will be happier?_

After I stand, I drag the pieces of the futon back to where they belong so it'll look nice and neat. I open the door to go to the bathroom and trip over something soft.

_It's—!!_

I pick up the espeon and smile. There's a note that says I have to let him sleep here, but I don't care. _He can sleep in my futon!_

_Well, I guess it belongs to Tohru still, but..._

_No—It's mine. Dojima told Tohru he only gets one, so I think they should let this one be mine. I should be a more confident bear!_

I carry the espeon and note into the bedroom and set them on the futon before going to shower and brush my teeth. They said I could meet Nanako's grandmother, so I get to stay for a while.

_And I think the espeon is probably Tohru's way of apologizing. I'll have to see when I can find someone else._

_I hope we're okay. I just—_

_I wanted to know what it's like to be him. I wanted to understand why he does the things he does._

_I don't get why he would ever want to hide his feelings. It's so nice to have someone care about you like that._

Dressed and feeling fresh from hibernation, I zoom downstairs. "Good morning," Nanako calls to me from the couch. She has the door open and a nice breeze drifts in.

I grin at her and eat the food she's left out for me. Then I was the dishes while she pours me coffee in my new mug. She gets herself another cup too, and carries them outside. I follow and sit with her on the step.

"You saw the stuffed animal?" she asks me.

I nod. "Does that mean he isn't angry anymore?"

" _It doesn't matter if he's still angry_ —He shouldn't have yelled at you like that," Nanako sighs. "He should apologize when he gets home. Tohru-jisan _knows_ he shouldn't react like that, no matter what happens. That's how bad things happen."

She peers over at me as we drink our coffee. "So?” she quietly asks. “Can you tell me?"

"I asked why they don't act like they love each other."

" _Ouch_ ," Nanako winces. "That's a real sore spot for both of them."

"I don't get it!" I whine. "Why?!"

Nanako frowns. She takes a few more sips before she tries to explain it all to me.

"Let's start with Tohru-jisan because he's simpler," Nanako says. "For him, it seems to boil down to the fact that he doesn't think we should love him. Or that anybody should. I don't know _why_ , but that's what he says..."

I drink a few more gulps of coffee while she goes on. I try to pay attention, although my thoughts are already wandering back to all the things I _don't know_.

"It's a little more complicated with Dad." Nanako swirls the dark liquid around in her cup. "He used to be so... I don't know if the word I want is 'embarrassed' or 'guilty' or somewhere in between."

" _But why?!_ " I practically yell, my frustration taking over for a second.

_Why are they like that? It doesn’t make sense!_

Nanako smiles sadly. "I've already said he's more complicated, right?" I nod. "I think at first— _before_ —he was worried cause of a lot of things. I didn’t understand all of them at the time, but he was insecure for sure—Worried how people would look at him for moving on from Mom, and for being with a man when he was married and had and kid. I think those are the main reasons why he didn’t say anything before, even to me—Maybe because he didn’t know what _I’d_ think, either.”

“I didn’t get why it mattered when I was younger, but now when I hear people talking, and some of the things they say...” Nana sighs. “I know it’s even worse because of what Tohru-jisan did, but I don’t think it would’ve been too different if we never had the murders here.”

Nana’s forehead creases as she figures out how to tell me what she’s thinking. “If there wasn’t a big hubbub, those other things would have been strange enough for the people here, who thought they knew Dad one way.” She sets her empty mug on the porch behind us and folds her hands. “The only reason he’s changed a little is because he could see how much it was hurting Tohru, after he moved in. Dad can be dense.”

I giggle, but stop myself when I realize Nanako is frowning. “I’m used to him hiding his feelings, but I think before it really did upset Tohru-jisan. Do _you_ think—” She turns to face me and I can tell something’s really troubling Nana, but we’re interrupted by the sound of the garage door.

When it goes back down, voices bleed into the house behind us. We turn to see Tohru and Dojima come through the door looking...

_Happy?_

Tohru looks more at ease than I've seen before, and the way they're gripping each other's hands must have been hard to walk around the garage like that. But they seem like they’re in a good mood.

“Hi,” Dojima says to us, trying to smile. Tohru holds up a hand, but then his face changes to more of a blank look.

Nana motions for Tohru to come over and he glances at Dojima, who smiles at him, before dropping his hand to walk outside. Tohru shoves his hands into his pockets and walks out to the patio, not looking at us.

“Hey,” he finally mumbles.

“So where’d you go?” Nanako asks, sounding friendly— _Really just trying to start a conversation._

Tohru grimaces and Nana’s face pulls tight. “Y-you didn’t hear where we went?” he asks, his expression turning anxious and his eyes popping open wide.

“Should I?” Nanako frowns, thrown by his reaction.

“Naah,” Tohru replies, playing it off with a yawn. “Just taking care of some stuff.” He snaps his mouth shut and peers over at me. “...Sorry.”

I nod quickly. “It’s okay~” I beam.

“No,” Nanako sighs. Tohru jolts and she shakes her head. “No—” she tries again. “Everyone’s fine, but I want you say more than just ‘sorry’.” Tohru looks a little panicked, so Nana points to the porch on her other side. “Here—Sit and talk it out.”

Once Tohru takes a seat, I lean forward to speak to him. “I’m sorry I made you mad. I only wanted you to help me understand—I didn’t mean for it to be a problem.”

“It wasn’t,” Tohru guardedly replies, clearly lying. Nanako rolls her eyes and nudges him. “Okay,” he concedes. “It was, but it shouldn’t be, all right? I—I don't get it either. Maybe I can tell you once I understand myself.” He folds his arms and narrows his eyes.

“It’s something,” Nana mumbles and pats his arm.

Before any of us can say something else, Tohru’s phone goes off. His eyes open wide and he jumps to his feet, pulling his smartphone out of his pocket and jabbing the button.

“H-hello?” he asks, glancing back at us. “Yeah, were you able to find anything?” He pauses and then sighs, stomping on the ground. “No go, huh? ...I don’t know, either. I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens. ...Heh, yeah. Yeah. Bye.”

When Tohru hangs up, he walks back over to Nana and I. “Bear,” he says to me very seriously. “Do you know anyone who calls themselves ‘Niichan’?” When I start to shake my head, Tohru huffs. “On the internet? Any online friends?” he tries again.

I shake my head more quickly this time. “No,” I tell him. “I don’t go online much—Should I?”

“Augh,” Tohru groans. “It’s not _that_. I just needed to know if you _already_ know anyone by that name. I got a weird email,” he frowns. “Probably spam—Yeah, spam.” He nods confidently now, obviously trying to convince us it isn’t something we should worry about.

He jumps onto the porch and walks back into the house. “Okay~ Get me when Onibaba arrives...”

“You _won’t_ call her that to her face!” Nanako shouts back, but she’s giggling.

“That _is_ a little mean,” I cautiously admit.

Nanako shakes her head, grinning now. “It’s probably okay. Apparently they get along well—Which I think is what should worry us more.”


	59. Old Habits (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start off with the men bringing more of Tohru’s stuff to their room until Yuudai arrives. Then there’s a tense lunch, where almost everyone offends almost everyone.
> 
> Tohru sits in a call with Yuudai with someone new—It's Honda Yasuyuki! And he has a COMP. Sound familiar? The circumstances and world are ALL different, though... And being in charge of something gives Tohru a little bit of the old power rush. Will he be able to handle the pressure of leading the others when the time comes?
> 
> Lastly, we’re finally getting to the crux of the breakdown in communication between Ryoutarou and Nanako—And who would’ve guess that Tohru is caught in the middle? Not that he (or Nanako) wants him there. Facts are that if he wasn’t obsessing over Tohru’s predicament, Ryoutarou would’ve likely still unplugged again after his nephew left—The root of it all still lies with him not feeling there’s anything he can give her. Will he be able to face his insecurities for real, and can they still repair their relationship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Obaasan” is a term for a grandmother. It’s neither the most or least formal, but right in the middle, as the other two are “-sama” and “-chan”.
> 
> When Yuudai asks Teddie if he understands, all I can picture is an exchange like in Osomatsusan when Karamatsu asks Jyuushi if he gets the stuff with the pachinko winnings.
> 
> Lastly, Honda’s character might not be exactly on-target. I tried to watch some of his lines on YouTube, but it’s mostly battle scenes I found. If it’s too unrealistic, please let me know and I will try to jump into some of my save-games and find that man.
> 
> No chapter tomorrow! I have another project that needs a little work.

Chapter Fifty-Seven: Old Habits

(Tohru)

Ryoutarou is making me fold all of my clothes before I stuff them into my new dresser. He says if he takes the time to make them neat I shouldn’t ‘be an asshole and _un_ fold them’ right after.

_Maybe this is going to be more of a pain than I’d considered..._

We’re almost done organizing—He’s also making me keep everything neat, and he was bitching that I don’t wear underwear or socks anymore. _What does it matter? He’s the only one who’ll even notice._

 _So—_ We’re almost done when we start to hear an engine slowing down outside. I look out one of the windows and see that a car has pulled up and Yuudai is getting out. Someone follows her and passes over two large trays of food. _I’m interested._

“She’s here?” Ryoutarou tiredly sighs from the other end of the room, currently working a few of my shirts onto hangers. He warily watches me looking down at the street intently.

I nod. “Wanna go let her in?”

His eyes flick away from me and I groan. “C’mon,” I tell him. “It’s not gonna be that bad. She wants Nanako to like her, remember?”

Ryoutarou nods uncertainly. “...I suppose.”

“Let’s go,” I say again, taking the shirt from him and placing on top of the dresser before grabbing his hand. I pull him behind me and down the stairs.

I’m surprised to see that she hasn’t even rang the doorbell yet—She must be standing around just holding her stuff and waiting. _Is she nervous?_

_—Another cute family trait?_

I smirk to myself and open the door with Ryoutarou standing a little behind me, agitated and trying to keep his cool. Nanako and Teddie are still outside, but they’ll come in when they hear whatever commotion comes out of this.

“Hello, Dojima-san~” I say to Yuudai.

She raises her eyebrows and nods before pushing her way into the house. _Reminds me of a certain someone the first time he came to my house..._

Yuudai makes for the fridge and opens the door, instructing the person with her to put the food in there, “if there’s any room”. Ryoutarou huffs and stomps toward them to oversee this operation. Then they take off and we’re left crowded into the small kitchen, staring at all the food while Ryoutarou and Yuudai bicker over something.

I motion Nanako and the bear into the house—Nanako looks a little thunderstruck at seeing her other grandmother in the same room. It takes her a minute to wander over.

I tap Yuudai on the shoulder and she barks “what” at me. “ _This is Nanako,_ ” I try to say in a nice voice, but it comes out all strained.

“Oh, hello!” she chirps, immediately adopting a more formal tone and beaming at the girl. “Nanako-chan! I haven’t seen you in so many years—I’m your Obaasan.”

“Hi,” Nanako smiles so shyly, like I haven’t seen since _I_ first met her. _It’s..._

 _Well it’s adorable._ I can feel myself smiling, too.

The conversation grates to a halt though, as neither seems to know how to follow their reintroduction. Ryoutarou isn’t helping, glaring from a few feet away. Teddie actually saves the day by loping over to introduce himself before it gets too awkward.

“I’m Teddie!” he breaks in. “I love Nanako and Dojima and Tohru!”

_I could punch him to the floor..._

Ryoutarou sighs and steps forward, not wanting to leave the poor kid to be subjected to whatever Yuudai comes back with. “He’s Nanako’s boyfriend, _Kuma_. He’s the one you agreed to stay away from, but the kid wanted to meet you.”

She stares at him appraisingly while the bear gazes back, eyes sparkling. “ _Definitely_ a shadow,” she mutters to herself. Teddie stupidly nods in agreement and Ryoutarou smacks his forehead.

“Kid, you’ve gotta _keep that to yourself_ ,” Ryoutarou sternly admonishes.

The boy stares back at him in confusion. “But she’s family...”

“Hah!” Yuudai triumphantly interjects. “It’s true—I am. You’re fine,” she sweetly pats him on the head and I resist the urge to shudder.

_Everyone always likes the bear._

_I should be used to this by now._

“But _don’t_ tell anyone else,” Yuudai stringently finishes after she realizes she’s won him over. “Understand?”

Teddie nods a bunch of times before jolting backwards. “Wait—Not even _Kaasan_?” he pleads. Yuudai looks at us in confusion and I snicker. “Or Daidara? Or—”

“He has a _mother_?” Yuudai incredulously cuts him off.

“She’s _Kanji’s_ mother,” I reply and Teddie tries to say again that she’s his too. “He doesn’t have—” I stop speaking when I catch Nanako glaring moodily at me and see that Teddie appears on the verge of tears, still defending his place with the Tatsumis. Even Ryoutarou is making a sad face like he wants me to knock it off.

“ _Whatever,_ ” I huff. “Now you know.”

Yuudai nods and pats Teddie’s fluffy hair again. “It’s alright, you can call me Obaasama!” Teddie shrieks in delight, not realizing he’s been given the colder term of endearment.

Ryoutarou makes a derisive noise and Nanako corrects the phrasing, eyeing her grandmother more suspiciously. Yuudai raises an eyebrow but doesn’t challenge Nanako.

_Are they... Testing each other!?_

_Damn Dojima women are scary—Maybe it’s where Nanako gets it from._

“Alright,” Ryoutarou says, commanding everyone’s attention. “Why don’t you two sit and the rest of us will bring out the food?”

“Already?” Yuudai asks, clearly miffed.

Ryoutarou nods. “ _Yes_. We’re having lunch and then you’ll be on your way,” he says to her. “If it goes well, we can talk.” He motions for me to take the food back out of the fridge while Yuudai watches, arms folded.

Nanako gets everyone drinks and Teddie helps her bring them to the low table. Yuudai and I unwrap the sushi and side dishes while Ryoutarou gets plates, bowls, and chopsticks.

And then we're all seated around the table, with Ryoutarou and I squished together on one side while the others all have their own places—Not that I mind sitting clos to him, but he’s kind of big. We should really have our own places.

"Let's eat," Ryoutarou declares and chopsticks rush to pick favorites.

I'm not that hungry, so I rest my chin in my hand and wait until Ryoutarou, Yuudai, and Teddie are finished fighting their way through the first round. _Nanako should get better dibs. Though I doubt she cares about something so trivial as sushi. She's probably just happy we're all eating together._

_Damn good kid..._

I watch while Ryoutarou grabs a few of the expensive ones for his plate and stupid, dumb Teddie eagerly goes for the cheapest shit—All lean tuna and egg.

"Same old kid," Yuudai laughs at Ryoutarou, but not in a mean way. More in a way like she knows how he is— _Like family_. "Always going for the uni and other good stuff first."

"Huh?" he lets a surprised noise escape him. "This isn't—"

Yuudai waves him off. "It's _fine_ —There's plenty."

"N-no, I—" he stammers, turning red. I snicker at his embarrassment, but then the situation is thrust onto me when he switches our plates. "They're—Uni's _his_ favorite, too... I wanted—He didn't get any of the good sushi when we had his party!" Ryoutarou practically shouts.

_Aww!_

_That's..._

_Really cute._

"S-stop smiling at my like that!" Ryoutarou demands, turning away to get his own food.

I start eating, unable to hide my grin and Nanako finally gets a turn. She quietly selects a few pieces and points out which ones she thinks Teddie would like so he’ll branch out.

_It's really tasty—Better quality than we usually get. And there's even otoro!!_

We munch in silence for a little while, until Yuudai breaks the easy atmosphere to pointedly ask Teddie whose shadow he is. _This'll be fun—_

_NOT!_

_He'd better not fucking tell her!!_

"Ooh~ You can't tell?!" he hyperly shouts.

_No!_

"I'm clearly—" he starts, but then pauses to shriek when I kick him under the table.

Ryoutarou glares at me and kicks brings his fist down on my thigh— _Hard._ I choke a little and cough rice back up.

Yuudai rolls her eyes. " _Moving on._ You're here a lot?" she now questions.

"Yup~" Teddie happily answers. "I even get to stay over sometimes! Everyone is so nice!" He beams at the end while Yuudai and Ryoutarou share a look to confirm that it's mostly in his head.

"I really like it here..." he continues. "And the futon smells like _Tohru_ ~" Nanako bursts out laughing while Ryoutarou makes another pitying face— _Like how pathetic can he be?_

I shoot him a annoyed look— _Don't cling to me!_

He grins back dopily. _Definitely thinks I’m just paying him some friendly attention._

"Nice of him to share," Yuudai retorts.

"No," Teddie innocently shakes his head. "I think he sleeps..." Now he seems lost as to what answer to give. He glances at me hopefully and I sigh, reaching up to yank at my hair. Ryoutarou lightly grabs my arm so I stop, trying to tell me it’s okay.

"We share a room," he flatly states. "We're just _storing_ his things in the extra room until we figure out a better place. In fact, this morning we moved all of his clothes to the second dresser, and brought some of the... _Other crap..._ To our room, as well."

Nanako smiles happily at her dad while Yuudai frowns. "That's really..."

_I guess it's my turn._

"This is a very serious relationship," I slowly tell the woman. "We're working on having me moved to the register."

Her eyes widen, but only for a second. "Oh, _adopting_ at last?" she scathingly inquires.

I flinch— _Hate the way things work._

 _That was also my own response._ I try to reach up and scratch again, but Ryoutarou forces my arm back down and grabs my hand, sighing loudly.

Teddie seems lost, which I expected. But Nanako looks miffed, her eyebrows drawing together because she knows about the— _whatever that was_ —last night. Ryoutarou confidently puts hugs me to him and this would be as embarrassing as yesterday if I my anxiety wasn’t already ratcheted up to the maximum I can handle without snapping. " _You know damn well that's not what it means._ "

As the stare-off grows more uncomfortable, Teddie decides to blindly interrupt again. "But my _favorite_ is when Nana stays over! Then she stays in my bed and Kanji cooks for us, or Nanako cooks for me, and we all—"

" _What?_ " Ryoutarou spits, squeezing my side a little too hard— _We all know the damn Bear misspoke. Chill!_

"Uhm... We all watch television and eat cake?" he finishes his previous sentence, smile faltering a little.

Nanako shakes her head while she giggles. "He sleeps with Kanji," she clarifies. "When I was little though, we all slept together in Kanji's room."

"Like a pack of bears!" Teddie adds, waving an arm around wildly.

Yuudai sighs. "Do you even know where your child _is_ half the time?"

"She's not a child anymore," Ryoutarou grunts.

"I take care of _myself_ ," Nanako staunchly defends her individuality, keeping her tone friendly, but adding a touch of warning to all three of us.

"And me," Teddie cluelessly points out, grabbing her hand.

She smiles kindly at him. "We take care of _each other_ ," she affirms.

Yuudai mouths something that looks like "is he simple".

I groan and Ryoutarou shrugs. "They're cute together," he admits. "I like Teddie." The boy smiles so brightly I think I'm gonna go blind. "I—I bought him a mug last week," Ryoutarou mumbles and scratches his arm. "He's... He's really a part of this family."

Ryoutarou smiles cautiously at Nanako and then gives Teddie a hard look. "For as long as Nanako wants him to be."

Nanako giggles again and pats her little boyfriend's arm. "Forever," she reassures him. He grins easily, satisfied with her answer.

When we're all full, Ryoutarou takes out a cigarette and receives a harsh glare from his mother. "Outside," she commands as if in her own home. He stares in disbelief. "Not around children!" she snaps, shooing him to the porch with a wave of her hand.

He leans over for me to light it and then dumbly walks out the door, shell-shocked he's being ordered around in _his_ own home. Nanako snickers, but covers it by picking up the dirty plates. Teddie helps and soon almost everything is in the kitchen. They clean up together.

Yuudai fixes her gaze on me. "How long's he been sober?" she demands in a more hushed tone. I cock my head to the side, wondering how she even knows. "I saw the empty fridge and bags of recycles. I'm not a moron—” She turns a look on me like I’m the dumbest. “So how long?" she probes.

"Just a few days," I shake my head. "Today is the fifth."

"Here," she says, producing a card. "This is a hobby of mine. Some of us have a false line set up. If he gets off the wagon, you call and he'll 'receive a call from someone up the line’. No real trouble, but it'll scare him straight for a while."

I take their card. Only a Tokyo phone number and a last name are written, accompanied by a list of extensions. They're labeled with various branches of government. "Those are our volunteers. Punch the right extension for police, or go further up the ladder—I don't care." She grunts approvingly. “Just happy this is straightened out.”

I nod, adding the information to my cell. _How much does she know about what goes on here?_

"Speaking of lines—You've got one of those fancy new phones?" I nod again, even though she’s got a good view of my smartphone. "You have an IM address?" She hands me a pen and slip of paper. "Write it down and accept all the invitations you receive."

"Why?" I question, already writing.

Yuudai raises her eyebrows. "Because you'll be glad you did. You get any trouble around here? I don't trust that chief..."

"We're okay," I tell her.

"Hnn, well if you need someone over his head, I'll pass along Sasahara's info. He's my closest contact; a part of Okina. He knows about personas." She narrows her eyes, then balks when she takes a look at the paper. “ _This_ is your address?” she incredulously demands.

When I nod she snorts. “Don’t beat around the bush, do you?” I grin—I think a little too maliciously.

Yuudai sighs. "We can either get along and pat each other's backs, or make this incredibly difficult. I'm willing to give it a shot, for them. So which is it going to be, Adachi?"

"Well, you can see that I'm not going anywhere, and I've only got one thing to lose. We'll be okay as long as you treat them well," I reply in a low voice. "I know the _only_ reason I've got a second try at this—at _any_ of it—is because of Ryoutarou. And I care about them more than _anybody_ —"

" _'Anybody'?_ " Yuudai challenges, a mocking note creeping into her tone.

I nod. " _I didn't misspeak_.”

Leaning forward, I open my eyes wide and can speak through my teeth. “So you would do well to remember that." I pause for a beat, then lower my voice even more. "You _know_ the only piece of evidence that held up in court. I only let myself get directly involved in saving _one_ person."

"Then why not letting me in on how Ryou ended up inside of a TV set?" she retorts, matching my aura almost evenly. I resist the urge to shiver.

" _I have no idea,_ " I evenly tell her. _Will never say otherwise._

"Really?" she marvels. "Because I happen to know that all the fragments of Izanagi grant the wielders electric magic. I've put most of the pieces together, and _you endangered them both_. Do _not_ act high and mighty with me, Tohru."

_She's right._

_But if I back down here, I'll be backing down forever._

_—That's the feeling I get._

" _No._ " I'm final.

I feel myself begin to seethe, my teeth grinding together as I grit out the words. " _Do not threaten me_.”

“My cards are already on the table—He _knows_ I'm the one who hurt him. You can't use it against me. I'm not _the_ monster you seem to think I am. Either trust me for real, or forget it."

Yuudai appraises me in silence for a minute. It's long enough that her cold stare makes me wonder if I've miscalculated—If maybe she’ll call in the SDF to take me down, or something else equally drastic and melodramatic.

But I haven't. "Done," she finally concedes, extending her hand. "You do as I told you with those numbers."

"And you try to play nice with your son, or you know he'll delete your number from my phone."

She laughs at that, and claps me on the shoulder. _And I think the inquisition is finally over..._

Yuudai stands and walks over to Nanako, and it sounds a though they're exchanging numbers, too. I look around to the backyard and can see Ryoutarou waving me over. I open the door to join him outside, then close it again behind myself.

"What was all that?" he knowingly demands— _Probably saw us glaring daggers._

I sigh in reply. "I'm not repeating it all. Just know that her and I are good for now." I smile up at Ryoutarou. "So don't worry about me, Nanako, the job... Any of it. _I've_ got it taken care of~"

I watch him peer inside to see the three seated at the kitchen table, chatting. So Ryoutarou tugs me with him past where the glass ends. He pulls into a hug while he leans against the house and sighs contentedly.

"You know that you've really helped me today, right? In a lot of ways," he says in a nice voice.

"Yeah?" I ask, even though for once I know I've gotten things right.

He nods. "Yes. I love you; I'm happy with where we are—We’re family." Ryoutarou smiles. "Not officially, I guess," he clarifies. "But you know." He laughs a little, shaking his head. “I think _everyone_ knows.”

"I know," I agree and kiss him. And it's been so long since I've had _'family'_ —I feel weird and antsy inside.

"Stop squirming," Ryoutarou complains, chuckling and gripping me tighter.

I sigh. "It's uncomfortable—Not in a bad way, but..." I grunt and lean against him. "It's— _It's like_...” I groan loudly and flail my arms. “There are all these feelings that I don't know how to let out!"

He laughs gently this time. "No," Ryoutarou commands. "Hold onto them," he bends down a little to kiss me again and I grumble in annoyance. "They're _good_ _feelings_ —Get used to it,” he murmurs against me.

"That seems to be my new job," I agree, grinning sarcastically. We stare for a minute in a comfortable silence.

Until the moment is shot by a slightly muffled yell. “ _Where’d that damn Adachi go?!_ ” we can hear Yuudai calling from inside.

Ryoutarou sighs and we head back in to see what it is now. Yuudai is carrying her workbag and looking impatient.

She holds up a very complicated mobile and gives me a frank stare. “You and I have a phone call to make—For work. Show me a place we can speak without half the neighborhood hearing. It may get _heated_.” I nod and motion her upstairs to my room.

“You, know,” I try. “It would be a real help if I could get my hands on a laptop...”

Yuudai snorts. “ _Would_ it now?” She rummaging around in her bag. “Good thing I brought this, _huh_?”

As she hands me a brand new machine, I wonder how much she really figures out on her own. _Because it’s a little scary how well she works all of us._

_Like she knows all of my tricks—The techniques I’ve always used on people._

We sit on the couch and she spreads out few electronics and papers on the table.

“First, I’ll give you this.” Yuudai hands me a thick folder and I open it. Inside are all of Ryota’s papers and other documents. “Does that birthdate look correct?” she casually questions, jabbing a pen at the month and year.

“About five years younger?” I reply. “Yeah, sounds good to give him a head start.”

She regards me coolly. “When do you think he came into existence? Does October sound like a good guess? Of oh-eight?”

I narrow my eyes, making my tone icier. “ _Thought I told you that I wouldn’t know._ ”

“But you just agreed that he’s about _five years_ _younger_ ,” she reiterates, tapping the pen on the date again.

“It’s just an _estimate_.” We stare each other down for some time before both breaking away at almost the same moment.

Yuudai silently passes me a headset and dials a number. I put it on and listen in while she speaks with an operator. She rattles off long strong of letters and numbers and we’re put on hold. “You’ll have to memorize your own ID,” she instructs. “It changes monthly. There’s a program on that spiffy new laptop that’ll retrieve each new iteration for you.”

“I see,” I nod.

“Now grab a pen. We’re writing down anything that needs to be checked,” she explains. “Being in the same room gives us a real advantage—Though he’ll think we’re cities apart.”

_Intimidation—Seeming like we're on the same wavelength when we’re really just making it up on the spot._

She leans over to the coffee table and writes on the top of a piece of paper. _‘Tell me if he’s lying about anything. You don’t have to actually know the device.’_

I nod slowly. _Device? What am I getting into now?_

_Is this some kind of hazing—Throwing me onto a call with the briefest of instruction...?_

_Or, more simply, is my ability to red people being tested?_

I keep calm, try to think about how this job will set us all up for success. That’s the important part.

_We’ll have the inside scoop on the government._

_We’ll be set on money._

_We’ll have extra protection._

_We’ll—_

I’m brought back to the task at hand when Yuudai shoots me a smug look at the same time as the hold music gives way to a dial tone. “H-hello?” a man’s voice asks. Gruff and strong and _nervous_.

I feel my lips curling back. _I might enjoy this more than I thought._

“Yes, hello,” Yuudai brusquely says after a few seconds of the man calling out again. “Ito!” she bellows and I wince, the noise carrying extra-loud through the headset. “Get Adachi on the line— _Now!_ ”

She flippantly motions for me to press a button on my device and I do. “Hello~ Adachi here,” I sneer. Yuudai rolls her eyes at me.

“Who—Who’s _that_?” the voice nervously demands.

“Adachi—We both said his name. He’s one of our experts on demons,” Yuudai lies, sounding bored. I wrinkle my nose. _I never claimed to be any such thing._

I can her the man breathing into the other line— _Sounds panicked_. _We’re playing with someone who seems scared._

“ _More people?_ ” he growls. “How do I know I can _trust_ him? You all just want my machine!” Yuudai snorts while the man rages on. “I—I don’t know _a-any_ of you!!” he stammers.

“Oh, I’m sure you know who _I_ am~” I divulge in a singsong voice.

He harrumphs. “H-how would I know who _you_ are? Weren’t even on the last two calls—Talk about disorganized!” he stabs.

“I’m a rather _famous_ ‘Adachi’,” I mysteriously reply.

“Helpful,” he spits.

“Ooh I was _all over_ the news a few years ago... Was working in a little sticks town at the time, but I forget the name. Something about a hare—” Yuudai shakes her head slightly, telling me to zip it, that I’ve said enough.

I hear a gasp and Yuudai raises her covers her mouth so she can sigh. “Adachi _Tohru_?” The man sounds shocked. “ _The murderer?!_ You’re a murderer—Working with these _government_ —”

“ _We cannot reveal his full name,_ ” Yuudai tensely cuts us off, reigning it all in a bit. “However, if you explain to him the functionality of this device you claim to have, he will let me know if you’re telling the truth. If you are, then we will set up a meeting—And we can help your son.”

“I haven’t even told you what he—”

“The nature of his malady is _unimportant_ ,” Yuudai says in a strongly dismissive voice. “We have plenty of surgeons on staff.”

_I don’t think I like that._

She nudges me. “Yeah,” I nonchalantly agree, trying to sound lazy and overconfident. “I’m sure they can cure whatever it is—Give us a shot~”

I can feel the desperation pooling off this man even through the phone line— _It’s a little intimidating. Like he’d slit my throat to get what he wants, no qualms about it._

After a little more prompting, he finally admits that he has a machine that allows him to summon demons contracted directly to the thing. It’s called a COMP, and he got it from an unknown benefactor—Well unknown to him and Naichou, that is.

_Here’s the kicker. The guy was also called ‘Niichan’._

When he mentions the moniker, I bite back that niggling spear of trepidation that’s trying to get the better of me again. _Can’t play this one close to the chest._

_Niichan already knows too much about me. He also knows Honda and has these machines in his possession—Could be making them._

_Probably_ making them, I correct myself.

_I can either fight this with my few connections, or trust Yuudai and tell her about the email. Which may keep it all away from Inaba._

While Yuudai starts to put her phones and gear away, I pull up the email on the laptop. “This,” I dully tell her. She gives it a cursory look and then narrows her eyes at me.

“How long were you going to keep quiet?”

I shake my head. “I didn’t think they were connected until this guy mentioned the same name. Now I know—Am I just supposed to report all emails directly to you?” I sarcastically gibe.

“No,” she curtly replies, taking the computer from me. “You’re right.”

_Huh. Am I now?_

Yuudai hands it back after a minute, letting me know she forwarded a copy to someone who can look into it. “At least Honda is onboard. We’ll get him and all of you in on Thursday.”

I sigh. “Ask Ryoutarou first. He’s taking us...”

“About that,” she pauses, pulling some papers out of her bag. “He and Nanako need to sign electronic copies of these, stating that they have no idea what you’re working on and have no knowledge of other worlds.” I stare at her like she’s bumped her head. “The wording is not so on-the-nose,” Yuudai grumbles. “Get it done, there’ll be a copy in your work email—Have then sign on the machine. It’s also a tablet.” She removes a pen from a slot I hadn’t seen yet. “And don’t bring Ryou into the facility again.”

“But he _has_ a persona!” I complain. “If I’m going to be trying to get people to summon out here, I want him to learn too. For protection.”

Yuudai studies me for a minute, appraising how much of the truth I’m telling. _All of it—That’s actually what I want._

“Fine,” she says. “At least make sure Nanako is legally protected. If my idiot son wants to jump into this, he is an adult.”

I roll my eyes, but take the documents. “Anything else, empress?” I jeer.

“Hnn. Make sure your band of misfits knows they’ll be staying in the facility Thursday through Sunday, Ryou too if he’s to be included. You and I will develop the program along with Ito this week. He’ll be sending you a list of objectives.”

I nod.

“And,” Yuudai adds. “If you can all summon by Saturday, we’ll deploy and search for this Niichan. So I _trust_ you’ll get everyone up to speed.”

“Yeah yeah...” I sigh.

We pack it in and walk back downstairs to find the others. Nanako starts to say goodbye and leads Yuudai outside.

Ryoutarou's sitting on the couch, and he motions me over. When I choose the floor, he grumbles, so I scoot closer to lean against his legs. He chuckles and rubs my head.

"You're awfully damn affectionate today," I remark, looking back at him.

He rests a hand on my shoulder. "What, you don't like it?"

Teddie sits next to me, staring expectantly and totally obvious to our conversation. I huff as I dutifully grab my game from under the couch and start it up. He excitedly looks on. We chat a little about the strategies involved while Ryoutarou keeps absently rubbing my shoulder and sipping his coffee.

When I go to the fridge for come Calpis and to get Ryoutarou another cup of coffee, Nanako is walking back inside. She comes over and leans in to tell me she's thinking of heading to Kanji's for the night. I pour the Calpis into a cup and give her a confused look.

_Was it something I did?_

"Why?" I ask. "Aren't you happy I'm getting along with your little boyfriend?"

“I want to talk to Kanji,” she assertively nods, but then giggles. "And," she starts, still laughing me. I raise my eyebrows. "You know he's still staring at you all gross, right?"

"S-stop it," I hiss. "You're actually embarrassing me, kid."

That makes her _really_ laugh. "Good. Stay on your toes," she mocks me and folds her arms. "But it's been a rough two days. I'd like to get out of here, and Teddie didn’t bring anymore clothes."

"Besides my problem with the Bear, it isn't anything else that has to do with me, is it?" I question, feeling a little fearful after my monologue at the cemetery. _Don’t want to screw up so soon after all my serious declarations._

Nanako shakes her head. "Nn-nn." She locks eyes with me. "If it were, I'd tell you."

I sigh. "Is it Ryou?" I tiredly try.

"Maybe," she replies. "I've been frustrated with him lately..."

"I know," I nod. "If you need to talk about it, you can—" I swallow, cutting myself off.

Nanako looks at me appraisingly. " _I_ know," she tells me. "Thank you. I know you've been trying to help me—And that you'll honestly listen if I have a problem. _That's_ why I would tell you," she carefully admits.

"Tohru-jisan," she starts with a very grave expression. "I appreciate that you've been trying to help. But you need to know that he's going to have to first figure out what he's doing wrong, or else all the effort in the world won't make him change."

" _You are one..._ " I shake my head, really exasperated. Nanako cracks up again, covering her mouth because I think now _I've_ embarrassed _her_. "Perceptive little brat," I finish and smirk for a few seconds before letting it fall away. "I know," I reiterate. "I'll do my best."

"That's why I love you," Nanako says, she reaches out to squeeze my hand. I wince, grumbling and pulling it away.

"What's taking so long?" Ryoutarou loudly sighs from the other room.

I groan over-dramatically. "If you're gonna _complain_ , then do it yourself!" I yell over to the couch.

As I head back, I see Teddie jump up like Nanako’s motioned to him. They go upstairs so Nanako can get her stuff.

“They’re staying at Kanji’s,” I tell Ryoutarou, waiting for some sort of reaction.

“Yeah?” he casually remarks, like this is just normal—Which I suppose it is.

I look up from my game, not really playing anymore. Ryoutarou’s staring down at me absently while he sips his coffee.

_What are you doing? When did you get so lax. You wouldn’t even let Nanako go to the store with her cousin before!_

Nanako and the bear come back down chattering away. Nanako fills her reusable water bottle and passes it to Teddie. He tucks it into her bag—He’s already loaded down with his stuff and her overnight bag, while she has custody of her backpack. They're out the door in another minute to make the trek into town.

_Wonder when she’ll even come back?_

“Doesn’t that bother you?” I ask Ryoutarou, but he’s more interested in tugging me onto the couch with him. I shut my game and toss it back underneath, then climb up to my usual perch at the other end. “It’s so _different_.”

“What?” he snorts. “You don’t think I should let her stay at _Kanji’s_?”

_It’s not that it’s Kanji’s—It’s that you used to be so on-her-case all the time._

_It’s weird._

I pinch my eyes shut and try to explain without setting him off. “It isn’t because it’s _Kanji’s_ ,” I manage. He stares back at me, confused. “It’s the change itself—It feels like you’ve gone from helicopter parent to—” I trail off when I see him grimace. “To whatever the opposite is.”

“Are you telling me I shouldn’t let Nanako go to the Tatsumi’s?” Ryoutarou rearranges my sentence in an argumentative way.

I lean back on the arm of the couch. “ _No,_ ” I tell him again. “I’m wondering what made you suddenly let her do whatever she wants.”

Ryoutarou grumbles and rubs his forehead. He leans forward on his knees and mutters something.

“What?” I poke him with my foot.

“ _I don’t know,_ ” he grunts out. “Alright? I don’t know—” He looks over at my kind of helplessly. “I don’t know when exactly it happened, but she’s there more than here and it’s probably for the better.”

_Oh..._

_This is what Nanako meant. He doesn’t even know what the problem is._

_It’s him._

_It’s all him—Or rather: all about him._

“You’re too focused on your problems,” I blurt. And now he looks hurt.

_Shit—_

“I mean— _My_ problems,” I attempt to fix it, trying to refocus the blame from him to myself, which is probably where it belongs anyhow. Though now he looks downright _angry_.

“I handle what needs the most attention at the moment,” he deliberately tells me.

_But that’s—_

_That’s not what I want. I don’t want to be stuck in the middle!_

“You can’t stick me between you two,” I assert.

“You’re already there,” is Ryoutarou’s annoyed reply, and his eyes flash as he says it. “She hasn’t needed me— _Not for a long time now._ You did, so I was there.” He stares at me for a tense minute, shaking his head. “ _Don’t_ tell me I’m wrong and I won’t lie and say I feel badly about it—I’m _not_ and I _don’t._ ” He stalks away, rising from the couch and stomping towards the stairs.


	60. Reciprocal (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Ryoutarou’s snit fit, the guys try to talk things out a little and make plans for the filing for the koseki change. Lots of angst—What with Ryoutarou still feeling like a shitty parent, and Tohru realizing he has to deal with Kanji in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for one-day my absence. I skipped an extra day to start on a new short story. No details yet because I'm worried it might not be good enough—But if I can pull it off, it'll be within the P4 fandom, too. I have three out of an estimated 20 vignettes done. All max of 1k words and spanning a few years. It is TOUGH for me. A new challenge!!
> 
> A big thank-you to Milligramme, my Commenter-in-Chief!! The comments and chats really, TRULY keep me going!!!

 

Chapter Fifty-Eight: Reciprocal

(Ryoutarou)

Tohru comes into the bedroom some time after I storm off.

I'm leaning out the door smoking and he waltzes in and lays down—Doesn't even take off his clothes tonight, just lays on the futon and stretches the neck of his shirt to cover his face.

"I can't do this," he moans. "Not tonight."

"What?" I sigh, closing the door. _Always a good choice when Tohru could lose his shit over something._

Tohru kicks his feet. "This isn't a good time to have an argument with me."

"Then what do you want to do?" I sarcastically reply.

"Why would you keep sticking yourself out for me?" Tohru huffs. "It's _stupid_. Nanako needs you; you need to figure out how to be a parent."

"Don't tell me what to do," I bristle.

" _Hunh!_ " Tohru sniffs. "But you can tell _me_ what to do? _I don’t think so!_ "

I fold my arms and stare him—or his tee-shirt—down. "I've made myself pretty clear on a number of things— _Don't make me repeat._ " I walk over and sit next to Tohru.

He's silent for a minute, and I can tell Tohru's trying to figure out how to put something into words. He makes little struggling noises and sounds extremely irritated. "You've changed, but..."

"'But' what? You don’t think the changes are good?"

" _No_ ," Tohru shakes his head. "You've made a _lot_ of good changes... But in other ways you're just the same. You don't deal with your problems with people until they boil over. You still keep measured distance between yourself and Nanako—And we can all see it."

I don't bother denying it— _But I don't know how to fix it._

"What you said earlier..." Tohru takes his shirt off of his face and shows me an earnestly pained expression. "If you don't even know how it got like this, how can you fix it?"

"It's fine," I dismissively reply.

"No!" Tohru groans. "It's _not_ fine!!" He sits up and grabs at his head. "Will you let me help?"

_I trust Tohru with Nanako more then myself._

I nod.

"Okay! I'll be right back." Tohru grabs his phone and leaves the room— _I'm going to assume he's calling Nanako._

Which annoys me. _I should be able to solve my own problems._

_My own problems that I've created with my own daughter._

_But..._

A real relationship is a two-way street. We need to help _each other_.

_I need to be able to accept his help, too. Like before..._

_That first time we drank together, I remember the dam breaking—Telling him stupid things but starting to let him in—Piece by piece._

_And he reciprocated. He started letting me in a little at a time._

_Still does. He's showing me who he is and who he wants to be. Tohru wants me see the real him this time._

_I'm thankful Tohru and Nanako are so close... It's good they're getting along; they will be family._

_But it's also frustrating for me. That he can connect with her so much better than I can. As though he has whatever I'm missing. Which is—_

_A lot of things._

_There are a lot of pieces I just can't find since we lost Chisato._

_Tohru's been mending the cracks and creating new parts. But he can't do it all on his own. I have to help myself, too._

My thoughts break up as Tohru walks back in, looking proud of himself. "She's going to think about what she wants to talk about and we'll address it Wednesday."

"That's three days away!" I protest.

"Give her space to sort out her feelings," Tohru scoffs. " _Geez!_ You can't fix these things overnight..." He sits down and glares at me haughtily, tossing his phone aside in favor of the laptop he's brought back.

_I know that—!_

I sigh, changing the subject. "This is how it's going to be from now on?" Tohru peers at me questioningly. "You on the computer all the time instead of the phone or the games," I clarify.

He groans. "It's not like I can put games on this. It _is_ for work." Tohru plays with the screen settings, concentrating on getting everything how he wants it. "She said it's so I can check email and stuff."

I laugh and Tohru shoots me a look. _I don't think so..._

_Ryota and Kubo didn't get laptops. They weren't even told they would need a phone._

_I'm nearly positive it was simply a gift. I wonder if I should say anything?_

" _Smile_ ," Tohru commands, leaning over and tilting the computer. I turn, unsure what he's doing and hear a little noise. He giggles and moves away again.

I groan when Tohru turns the screen back towards me. I have a dumb look on my face, squinting at the damn thing and trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be looking at.

"Adorable~" Tohru simpers.

"Yeah," I snort. "You're gonna use that _just for work_..."

Tohru sticks out his tongue at me. "She didn't give me any specific restrictions! My background can be my..." He trails off, frowning. " _You?_ " he forcefully questions.

I smack my forehead, avoiding label-talk for now. _I don't think he's going to like any of the normal terms. I'm surprised he seven letting me take it this far; adding him to the koseki._

"I don't think it's necessarily for work," I slowly tell Tohru. "I think she was being nice to you—Or manipulative. I really don't know." _Can't always tell the difference._

He's gaping at me, looking almost concerned. "What does she _want_ from me?"

"Probably to get along," I say. "They seem to think you're an asset, and you know—You're with me. So the are two reasons."

Tohru doesn't seem to like that. He screws his face up. "I'm not used to other people trying to get along with _me_. It's usually the other way around..."

"Well you're suddenly an important person," I chuckle. "But don't let it go to your head." I poke his side a little harder than he likes and Tohru he smacks my hand away. "What? Actually _working_?"

"Well I'll have to if I'm _so important_!" Tohru types quickly into the machine and I see some crap flash across the screen. "Can't let the plebs down~"

I lay back; tired. Tohru glances at me and types a few more things before getting up to take off his clothes and shut the light. He rests the laptop on my chest like I'm a table.

"Tohru, what the hell," I sigh.

I can see him grin playfully from the glow of the screen. "I'm working! At least be useful," he scoffs.

"Come to sleep," I yawn.

"In a minute," he smacks me lightly. "I'm downloading some programs I need..."

It's good, watching Tohru work hard and take an interest in something. _Feels like things are getting better._

After a while, he closes the lid enough so it doesn't cast such a blinding glare but continues to download. Tohru cuddles up next to me and pulls the covers over us.

"Dammit," I mumble.

Tohru laughs easily, ignoring my attempt to kick them away. “So... Tomorrow do you want to go file for the change?”

Tohru goes rigid for a few seconds, but then I can feel him begin to breathe again.   
“Can’t,” he mumbles. “There’s some delivery I need to be at work for.”

“Tuesday?” I question. _It would be better to have some warning for arriving late myself._

Tohru nods his head and closes his eyes. Soon he's out like a light—Which is new.

_I think it's another good sign._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have noticed I need to do re-editing of "Kazoku" chapters. I plan to get this done during my break~ I have restarted DeSu1 to remember more of the characters and their personalities. I will continue with P5 during my break, but am holding off until I bang out drafts of the remaining chapters—It's important to me to focus on one thing at a time.
> 
> I want to try and make a PDF version of all the "flashbacks" during my break, as well. I might try and re-post a remix of it all as a ".5" if people are more interested in the pre-Okaeri so it'll be easier to find. I believe there are enough scenes to qualify it as its own story.


	61. Foreboding (Nanako)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanako’s phone call with Tohru and then a walk with Kanji and Teddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re winding down. The next few chapters will be about the future and the brawl. Have a great weekend!

Chapter Fifty-Nine: Foreboding

(Nanako)

We're eating a late dinner at the Tatsumis' when I get a call from Tohru. I excuse myself and walk into the living room. I answer the phone after I shut the sliding door.

I can near Kanji scolding Teddie for trying to follow and Tatsumi laughs. I smile— _He always want to help._

"Hello?" I ask into the phone. "Tohru-jisan?"

"Hi," he replies, sounding tired. "Can I talk to you?"

I take a seat on the couch, knowing it's going to be about earlier. "Yeah," I sigh. "You didn't get through to him that quickly, did you?" I nervously question.

"No," he derisively laughs. "Of course not. But we should try—He said he'll let me help... So?" he queries. "Will you talk about it sometime this week?"

"Yeah," I tell him. "Let's do it. As long as he promises to actually listen."

Tohru groans. "Yeah yeah. I know." I hear him make another aggravated noise. "He doesn't like to practice what he preaches, huh?"

"No," I agree. "He doesn't—That's why I gave up."

"Nn," Tohru replies, sounding like he's eating something now.

I try not to laugh: that's so like him, to be eating while trying to convince me of something. _The way he makes things seem so easy; it's what makes people trust him._

"Wednesday," I tell Tohru. "Give me a few days, please."

" _Grr_ , dammit!" he suddenly swears.

I flinch through the line. "Wh-what?" I ask, worried at his sudden outburst.

"There's a party tomorrow. It's a long story—More of a _mistake_ ," he snorts. "But your dad thinks there's a party for Chie. So now we're _having_ a party for Chie."

"Yeah," I reply. "I've heard. A mistake, huh? I mean—I couldn't understand why you and Ryota would want to throw a party for someone neither of you really knows, but..."

Tohru huffs. "Yeah. Sucks!" He pauses for a beat. "But I’m not one to back down. So make sure you come home, okay? _Please_ help me out!" he whines, practically begging this time.

"Okay," I assure him. "I'll bring Teddie."

"Does he go anywhere without you?" Tohru moans. "Just bring _you_ for once..."

"No," I sigh.

"I know," he replies. "Thanks. See you tomorrow."

I say goodbye and hang up. _A party, huh?_

_Everyone's going? Even Ryota?_

I ask Kanji about it after dinner, attempting to see what he knows. "You're going to the party tomorrow?"

"What party?" he asks, confused.

"Tohru-jisan and Ryota are throwing a party for Chie."

"Woah~" Teddie beams. "Sounds like fun!!"

I look between them. "Neither of you knew about this?" They stare blankly. "So _Tohru-jisan and Ryota_ are throwing a joint party for Chie—A party none of us were invited to."

"T-tomorrow?" Kanji anxiously confirms. "Chie is coming in tomorrow? _Already?!_ "

"Yes?" I squint. "Is that bad?"

"... _No_." I see him swallow in a strained way. "I'm just surprised the weekend went by so quickly."

Teddie's eyes gleam as he continues to chatter about the party, oblivious to the fact that something's definitely up. "Can we bring games?" Teddie questions and Kanji asks me, as if I have any idea.

"Sure," I tell him. _I don't think that really matters. I wonder if they even ordered food?_

Kanji stands and walks to the backyard. "I'm gonna go for a run," he says, putting on his sneakers.

"I'll come," I call after him. Teddie tags along behind me and we slide into our sneakers too. "But make it a walk," I add.

"I need a run," Kanji complains. "I got too much energy!"

"You're gonna go bearserk!!" Teddie laughs, jumping onto his back and hanging on. Kanji opens the door and walks outside, swinging Teddie around from his shoulders.

While I tie my own shoes, I watch the two. Kanji says he's going to warm up and Teddie sticks out his arms. Kanji easily swings him around in a circle as if Teddie weighs nothing but air.

The two laugh and I feel myself grinning at their bond. _I'm happy Teddie came here, and I'm happy I got so close to Kanji. They've both made such an effort to add to my own happiness._

"We'll just go through town?" Kanji asks me when I catch up to them.

I nod. "Sounds good. I just wanted to spend some time with you..."

"Is something up?" he questions as we start walking the house.

"Nothing new," I admit. "Talking to you clams me down, that's all. Today was..." I search for the proper word. " _Tense_."

"I'll say!" Teddie heartily agrees. "But Obaachan seems nice!"

I snicker, unable to stop myself from laughing. _That's definitely not what she told him to call her—She didn't even say I could use a term something so familiar!_

"Seems nice, huh?" Kanji repeats shaking his head. "That was _not_ the feeling I got!" I raise my eyebrows, wondering what actually happened.

"Her and Tohru were making so many snarky comments!" He frowns. "It was like a nightmare. Even Ojisan seemed upset."

"Dad doesn't like her," I tell Kanji. "He didn't want her staying long today—She kept making unkind remarks, and then I made Tohru agitated."

Teddie's eyes widen. "She gave him a laptop!!" he fills Kanji in with a grin. "She said it was for work, but I think she's a liar..."

"Why?" I quickly ask. Teddie looks like he knows something.

He smiles more shyly this time. "Well Tohru has a phone like mine. He wouldn't need a computer just to check email," Teddie points out. "I think she likes Tohru."

"Why?" Kanji echoes, surprised. "Was she nice to him?"

"Uh-uh!" Teddie giggles. "Not at all—But she looked like she wanted to get along. She was really nice to Nana and she brought so much food!" he spreads his arms out wide. " _Fancy_ food!!"

Kanji gives me a questioning look, as if he doesn't trust Teddie's opinion. I nod slightly. "Pricey sushi," I tell him.

"These days I only get invited over for the arguments!" Kanji moans, folding his arms behind his head. "What're we having tomorrow? Anything good?"

"I don't know," I say. "I didn't even know we were _having_ a party until about an hour ago!"

"R-right," Kanji remembers.

I look at my friends. "Am I the only one who thinks this is weird?" I carefully question. Kanji looks down a side street, not meeting my eyes. "Like they're trying to cover something up?"

Teddie shrugs and Kanji stops at a vending machine. "Want a soda?" he hopefully asks me, clearly trying to change the subject.

I fold my arms , not answering. Teddie crowds Kanji, pressing the button for TaP and snatching it up the second it clanks down. He pops the tab and chugs a few mouthfuls before passing me the cold can.

"If it's so important that they're throwing a fake party for a cover-up, maybe we should let it go," Teddie says to me. "Tohru wouldn't do anything bad."

Kanji folds his arms, looking irked. _He looks torn—Like he wants to say something but is trying to keep it down._

I finish the soda and recycle the can. "If you're sure," I tell them, raising my eyebrows at Kanji.

Teddie grabs my hand and pulls me along back to the house while Kanji stalks behind us. An odd atmosphere hangs around him the rest of the evening.


	62. Protection (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru works and then talks to Ryota about his fight with Kanji. He has a plan...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting down to the wire! After today, only five chapters left!! Excited?!
> 
> I‘ve been working on the plot for Yakusoku. It’s going to span about another week, and have two sections. The first will involve TV exploration, while the second involves Tohru teaching the others summoning and stuff up in Narita.
> 
> Enjoy~

Chapter Sixty: Protection

(Tohru)

I wake up before Ryoutarou.

_I made sure to set my alarm again... It’s starting to be more normal thing for me._

_But I don’t mind it like I used to. Not I have something to work for._

After rolling into the floor, I grab my new laptop and stretch out sideways. I toss my legs over Ryoutarou and kick him a few times. No reaction. _Still out._

Deciding it's safe, I turn on some music, quietly enough that I an hear, but his deaf-ass won't be bothered. I stall for a few minutes, surfing the net and adding more email address to my server for Ryoutarou, Ryota, and Mitsuo.

_Well I guess I should get to work..._

I'm taking on a second job. _The old-old me would be proud. The old me would think I’m playing house like a dumb asshole._

_What does my current iteration think?_

He thinks I need to work hard. Thinks I need to help out and carry my own weight. Thinks I need to step up and help out with a lot of things, both with my new family and to make sure everyone’s safe. _And I can’t believe I actually feel this way._

_Need to check on what I downloaded and my email account and ugh—I need to try and figure out an idea of how this new machine Honda has is plausible._

_In theory it makes sense, but how does it function? Who made it?_

_And worse: why?_

_...Who the fuck is Niichan?_

I have email updates from Yuudai and Ito already. I've been CC'd in a string of messages about my email from Niichan, as well as something from Ito that appears to be pictures of the "COMP".

_It just looks like a Vita..._

I read through the information and find out that it is indeed a Vita, with some homebrewed firmware. There are specs listed, but I don't bother to read them. _I bet they're the same as my own._

I send a message back asking if he can make me a copy of the program to fiddle with on my own machine. _It may help. Could potentially be useful for summoning personas IRL, too. Which I need to find a way to make more viable._

There's something just to me from Yuudai. I click on that last.

_It's..._

_Long._

There's a list of the people who'll be working with me, the prep-work I need to take care of, what will be provided, and a form for things I'll need them to have ready. Then, at the very end, there's a file attached with no title.

I open the PDF and realize it's a note. There is some stuff about yesterday and then a bit about 'looking forward to working with me'.

_Really now?_

_Why would she say that? Who would be that stupid?_

_Don't place your expectations on me!!_

I sigh and mess up my hair. I scratch at my head a little, anxious at everything I need to get done. _I can make it work, but..._

_There's my fight with Kanji today._

I'm wondering if I can use him as an experiment, actually. I know enough about IRL summoning that if I can make him think he's going to die, he should be able to take out Rokuten-Maou. I think he’ll stop and listen to me if I can trigger another memory exchange.

If he’s in a place where he thinks death is imminent, it should scare him or shock his system enough that he'll get too emotional. That should do it—Should make his persona burst out and break through the shell of this world.

_I'd like that. It'll let me know if that's a workable tactic for later this week._

Maybe it'll make him realize the truth about me. That it's complicated and muddled, but there's genuine caring for Ryoutarou inside of me. That he needs to back the fuck off and let us handle our problems.

_And hey, maybe I'll learn something from that brat, too. You never do know._

I should contact Ryota. I debate sticking my head through his television and scraing the crap out of _him_ for once, but I don't know where he gets out. It'd be like taking a train and not knowing your stop.

I send him a text and hear someone down the hall a few minutes later. _It's like five in the morning.... Fucking bothersome._

"Ryoutarou," I call. I kick him harder with my foot. _He'd be getting up soon anyways._ "Hey get up!"

"Mmph?" he groans, starting to move around.

Then I hear the other one from down the hall, asking where I am. "We're in here, just wait, you fucking pain!" I yell.

Now Ryoutarou's up. "Who's there?" he half-shouts, still sleepy.

"It's Ryota," the one says. "Tohru called me."

Ryoutarou gives me an incredulous look, like he's angry but more surprised. "What time is it?" he mutters, pushing me away to look at my phone. "What's going on?" he asks, rubbing the sleep off of his face.

"I needed to talk to him," I explain. "For work." _That'll shut him up._ I pull on my shorts and walk to the door. "Thought you'd be more mad to wake up and have people in the house," I call behind me, picking up the computer.

I hear Ryoutarou grumble but start getting up for the day. And I can see Ryota sitting in the couch in my room. I walk inside and close the door.

"Today," I take a breath. "Do you know what I can do to get people's personas working out here?"

Ryota shrugs. "Not really. Hadn't thought about it. Mine just does."

"Of _course_ it does!" I complain. "You're a shadow—It'll always be there to balance you out, I guess." I sigh and sit on the futon, wrap myself up in the blanket on the floor. I place the laptop on the table between us.

"I won't kill him," I say to Ryota. He nods tentatively. "But I think if he thinks he'll die, his persona will come out. So you've gotta help me—But don't heal him too soon...”

I sigh. “Do you get what I’m saying, Ryota? I'm going to try the whole mind-meld thing like I did with Narukami. So I need his persona to come out so I can hit it with mine.”

“So what’s the plan, exactly?” Ryota asks me.

“Oh boy...” I groan. “I’m not telling you—If you’re _anything_ like Ryoutarou, then you’re a shitty liar and an even shittier actor! I need you to be genuinely worried, but not enough to interfere until I tell you to.”

I pause, trying to impress the severity of the situation on him. “Can. You. Do. That?”

Ryota nods again. “Yeah. Count on me!”

“Okay— _Good_.” I close my laptop. “Any questions, Mr. Accomplice?”

This time Ryota shakes his head.

“Bye then,” I tell him and leave the room, closing the door behind myself. I hear him call me rude and them jump back into the television.

When the coast is clear, I creep back into my old room. I take my Nambu from under the couch and check the cylinder.

_Full._


	63. "The Brawl" (Kanji)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly as it sounds. Ryota gets distracted and Tohru gets out of control. Then they’re both feeling a bit ill... And throwing up black stuff, which has been BAD in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took an extra day again!! New short story is on its third draft. It’s Kanji/Doujima and should start posting next week. It’s going to be titled “WakaranAi”!
> 
> I’ll need one more day off this week, but I’m unsure which. My bro is moving down the road from me, from out of the country... I have to help him move and get set up so I’ll be a bit busy.

Chapter Sixty-One: “The Brawl”

(Kanji)

Tohru and I head right for the Inn, first thing. We get out of the car and Ryota is already there, wearing a kimono for— _I don’t fucking know why. But he is._

He’s carrying a bunch of coffee table books and walking towards us smiling. I’m really tense, trying to listen while he tells us he isn’t going to tolerate actual fighting. _That’s a relief!_

“What is he hits meee?” Tohru whines, smirking.

“Fuck off!” I spit at him. “It’s way more likely _you’ll_ hit _me_!”

Tohru folds his arms and glares. Ryota shrugs and grabs our shoulders, pushing us towards the back.

“I can’t take it anymore!” I yell, stalking down the hall ahead of everyone. I can feel Tohru right behind me, sticking close and muttering to himself. “After everything you put them through, and now you aren’t even acting right like you promised!! Nanako’s counting on you! Dojima’s counting on you—And I don’t know why, but you’re clearly hurting him!”

I wonder if he’s heard me, but Tohru’s still muttering to himself. “Can’t control it enough… Hope it works…” I hear a metallic _CLINK_ , and then a few more weird noises.

I turn around and realize Ryota just walked down a different hallway, yelling about finally getting to “see the elusive cat”. I feel a spike of fear when I realize Tohru isn’t stopping, just continuing to the back door, urging me forward with a mean expression.

I notice Tohru sighing. “Only one chance—Better’d make it _count_...”

Tohru “hmmph”s and shoves me roughly. “You think you’re _so_ much fucking better than me—Think that gives you the right to judge the way I get things done.” He pushes me again and I realize I‘m getting way too close to the door. “I’ve only tolerated you so far because you get it right the _minimum number of times that make me not wanna rip you to shreds_!”

I try to stop moving—I plant my feet, but now he’s hammering me with his bony fist and something else hard from behind, trying to thrust me outside. Tohru’s somehow worked the door open _without his hands_ —And that scares me most of all!

The next thing I know, he’s kicked me in the back of the knee so it buckles and then I feel a pressure on my side—Pushing me so I fall through the door and land on my back on the pavement.

I’m on the ground, have fallen from the loading dock and landed on my back. The wind’s completely knocked out of my and I’m having a hard time drawing a breath and then I see it—

_The gun—_

_THE gun—The gun he’s always had._

Tohru sighs and cocks the hammer. I don’t even have time to stand when I hear the super-loud _CRACK_ , and

_OH GOD THE PAIN—_

_MY LEG—_

_He fucking shot me in the shin! I can see blood and the hole and it’s disgusting I think I’m going to—_

“ _Nuh_ -uh, Kanji-kun~” Tohru sneers, walking over and kicking my foot—

_can’t even feel it but i saw him do it for sure_

_saw his foot connect with mine_

_can’t think straight_

Everything is starting to swim together. My vision is all watery.

_blurry_

_wet_

_PAIN_

“Haaah too bad it’s had to come to this,” Tohru sighs, standing over me, looking at my face from upside-down. He’s so close his black hair almost touches me. “That I have to do away with you—Put a bullet right _here_ ,” he says as he jabs my head with the muzzle of the gun and it hits me—

_i’m going to die_

_i’m really_

_i’m_

_really going to_

_die_

Tohru sighs and I see him load another bullet all leisurely. “Ready, Kanji? This is it…”

He pulls the hammer again and then I hear another _CRACK_ —

And the sound of shattering glass as if it’s coming from inside my own skull—Just the loudest, most ear-splitting tinkling and crunching.

My vision bleeds blue…

_…And I feel a year of memories…_

Coming to Inaba.

Apartment. Dojima. Work.

 _Red_ tie.

 _Red_ Izanagi.

Dojima.

Work. Apartment.

Red. Yellow.

Drinking. Dojima. Apartment. House. Nanako.

Work. Dojima. House. Yuu. Black.

Red. _Empty_. Black.

Work. Dead. Black.

Red. Red. Red. Black.

Empty. Nothing. Black.

Work. Drunk. Work. Apartment.

Drunk. Not drunk. Dojima. The house.

I need it. _Need it—_

Warm. Good.

Blue. Light fading in.

Darkening. Red. Blue.

Flashes of technicolor.

Black. Magatsu Izanagi.

Shadow. Office. Shadow. _Smashing_.

Warm. Guilt. Black. Black.

Hospital. Empty. Too hot—

Black. Black. _Black_.

Endless emptiness—

… _Screaming._

_My screaming._

_I’m screaming—_

“AUUUUGHH—” I’m awake, sitting up and panting. My fists are balled around something— _Cloth._

I look up and I’m hanging onto Ryota. He’s standing over me and I’m again screaming my lungs out. _Can’t breathe—Not enough air in the world._

He’s trying to calm me down—Don’t know what he’s doing, but he’s got his hand on my chest, pushing me gently back. I feel cold all over.

I’m finally beginning to catch my breath when I hear Tohru ask Ryota if he thinks I got the message. “Do I need to try it _again_?” Tohru tiredly complains.

“ _Stop it, Tohru!_ It was too much!!” Ryota growls back at the other man. “He’s in shock— _Can you speak, Kanji?!_ ”

I look between them and Ryota is waving his hand in front of my face, still making me lay down, looking at me with a load of concern in his eyes. “Can you hear me?” he tries.

“Kanji—Kanji try to focus on me,” Ryota pleads. “You’ve got to call it back, I can’t hold him still—“

And that’s when I notice Rokuten-Maou. He’s trying to run at Tohru, swinging his arms around wildly. Magatsu Izanagi is standing silently in front of Tohru, like it’s protecting him.

I gasp audibly and calm a little. Rokuten-Maou flashes out.

“ _Oooh fuck!_ ” Tohru yells, falling on his butt. “Whew!!” His Izanagi turns to me as it fades away, leaving an impression in my mind like it was warning me.

Ryota sighs and backs away from me so I can sit up. “It’s over,” he says.

I roll to the side and retch—See more puke a little ways away.

_What’s over? What even happened?_

_What was that awful, shitty feeling of nothingness? Just complete and utter emptiness?_

I clutch at my chest and hear Tohru growl something at me. He stomps over to the edge of the woods and keens.

“W-what?” I squeak.

He shoots his gun at a large tree and the bullet sticks. “ _Hurts, doesn’t it?_ ” he jeers.

_It does..._

_It feels like a hole._

I stare at the ground. _Wondering if..._

“I saw yours, too,” Tohru angrily spits. “I saw all of it—Now I know. _Happy?_ ” He smirks that crazy expression like a psychotic know-it-all. _I know what you went through, too._ ”

“That doesn't—C-cut it!” I try to yell, but it comes out as more of a rasp. Ryota tells me not to yell for a few minutes and rest my voice. I ignore him. “ _Knowing_ isn’t enough. Did you even listen to what I was saying on the way out?”

I hack something up and spit—A dark, dull lump comes out. Ryota’s eyes widen but he stays quiet.

I shake it off and turn back to Tohru. “I don't care what’s happened—It’s in the past. I’ve been trying to let it go! Just give me something I can _trust_. I’ve been trying to trust you, Tohru!”

He glares down at me, playing with his gun. Looks like he’s trying not to speak.

“That shit earlier this week—And last week!! It’s the kind of stuff normal people would go to the police about!”

“Good luck with _that_ ,” he sniffs.

I groan and it comes out nasty again. “Tohru— _Shut up!_ Just fucking listen to me!”

Tohru walks a little closer and bends forward to peer at me. “What?” He’s panting and looks like he’s about to fall over, now that I can see him better.

“All of us have been trying to make acclamations for you by being nice and including you in stuff, but you just keep being a total asshole! We’ve been getting along so well without you for _years_ now, all of us are tight-knit and help each other out. All you’ve done is pick fights and act petty. We’re not putting up with it forever!”

_I can’t stop myself—_

“I said I’d let go what happened before, but when I saw what you did in less than a week—Ojisan’s got bruises and cuts!! And he got _stabbed_! And there was someone coming out of the television and _URGHH!!!_ ” I pound the ground, feeling exhausted.

“You keep making me think things are getting better and then I turn around and you’re fucking something else up!” I finally stop for a breath—have to so I don’t pass out—and Tohru is glowering.

“I got Rokuten-Maou out here so _you_ can protect yourself,” he finally growls. “I’m trying to set all of you up to defend yourselves!”

I hack something else up and I _swear it moves a little_...!

I fight down the nausea and face Tohru again. “We shouldn’t have to defend ourselves against _you_!”

He sucks in a breath, looking like he’s in pain. I see him swallow a lump in his throat and gag a little, too.

“ _You two,_ ” Ryota hesitates. “You both sound pretty sick. Let’s call it a—”

We’re all cut off by the backdoor to the inn slamming open and Dojima shouting at us. Ryota mumbles apologies for something—Probably _everything_.

I feel like I’m blacking out for a minute, get a floaty-dizzy thing inside my head. Like some butterfly beating its wings against the inside of my skull.

Then Dojima is kneeling down by Tohru, who fell over at some point. I blink and swear I see everything from above, instead of from where I’m also lying down.

Ryota and Chie are helping me to my feet and we’re all moving back inside—I need to be practically dragged by the two of them.


	64. Orders (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryoutarou gets angry at work when Sakamoto tells him again to think about retiring—He'd heard Ryoutarou was going to be moving to a new job and thought this way he could train Chie on his way out because they know each other. Chie, meanwhile, has received a phone call that Kanji got hurt fighting with Tohru. Ryoutarou orders them to make up and get over themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few chapters left!! Chie has entered the fray! Pretty soon they'll all be having that fake party and we'll be wrapping Kazoku up!

Chapter Sixty-Two: Orders

(Ryoutarou)

Work is crap. I end up filing and writing reports with Yamamura until I'm called out front to speak with Sakamoto. He's looking at the group of interviewees, including Chie.

"C'mere," Sakamoto waves me over. "You want to train Satonaka? I'm thinking we'll stick her on the detective track."

"Chie?" I sharply ask.

He nods. "You know her personally, right?"

" _Chie_ ," I repeat more slowly. "You want to fast-track her to detective?"

Sakamoto makes a face. "Why not? Is she uppity?"

I shake my head. "She's... _Unique_."

We watch as she demonstrates some kind of karate move. I sigh. "I would need to train her?"

"Well yes," my boss tells me. "We can toss another small desk into your office and she can use yours when you're gone."

I balk; speechless. _When I'm 'gone'?!_

Sakamoto sighs. "I've heard through the grapevine that you may be moving on to another position. With the SDF."

" _No_ ," I shake my head. "Who would've said...?"

My old friend raises his eyebrows. "Is that incorrect?"

" _Yes_ —You've got it wrong!" I aggravatedly yell and a bunch of the people out front—including Chie—turn to stare. "I'm staying here," I mutter, jabbing Sakamoto in the side. "You will _not_ kick me out like that!"

_I've already cut my hours. What else does he want, goddammit!_

Sakamoto holds up his hands defensively. "Will you not be needing several more days off a month?"

" _That's_ —" I wince.

Folding his arms, my boss shakes his head. "You'll still get a full pension. It might be getting time to think about your next—"

" _Don't you gimme that shit_ ," I growl in a low tone. I grab Sakamoto's arm and drag him back to his office. "Fine. You win: I'll fucking train the new girl. But you are not getting rid of me you goddamn moron!"

"And why am I a moron?" Sakamoto scoffs.

"Because I am not leaving this job behind until I am positive everything is going to work out,” I say, shoving my coworker. “I need at least that long."

Sakamoto sighs. "How _long_ is that going to take?"

"As long as it damn well takes!" I reply. "And you'll do it," I insist. " _Because if you don't_ , I'll turn on you so quickly—You'll be sent off to some shitpost you've never even heard of. _I am getting real sick of everything going wrong whenever I turn around._ ”

I stop for a minute and attempt to compose myself. "Don't cross me. We've come this far—This many years working together. My life is finally beginning to make sense again, but there could be trouble in the near future—For this town again, and for you. Trust that it's better for me to stay on."

"And does this 'trouble' surround one of our more well-known ex-cons?" he quips.

I shake my head. "It's already bigger than that. If anything, having Tohru around keeps us safer."

"That's terrifying..."

\---***---

I'm editing my work when Yamamura clears his throat. Aggravated, I slam my pen down and glare at him— _So done for the day._ He meekly points for me to look at the door, and I can see that Chie is standing there with all of her things.

"So, uhm Dojima-san?" she asks, hefting a large bag. "I was gonna ask for a ride later and hang around here for a while... But..."

"What is it?" I sigh. "Spit it out."

She grimaces. "Yeah—There was a fight. Yukiko called real upset and said we should get over there. That Kanji and Adachi got into a fight and—"

" _What?!_ " I roar. "A fight?! How does Yukiko know?"

"Yeah, that's the thing," Chie nervously hops from foot to foot. Yamamura has abandoned his deskwork and is openly gawking at our conversation. "They planned it and didn't want anyone to know. And now they're worried Kanji's in shock and they want you to get over there cause—"

"Lets go!" I snap, grabbing my things and rushing through the door. Chie follows me out the back and to the car. I point for her stuff to go in the backseat and then she gets in next to me.

I peel out of the station lot and drive towards the Inn. "Tell me what happened," I ask the girl.

She shakes her head. "I really don't know," she confesses. "I just got here!"

"Right," I groan. "They've been at it for a while but I thought they were going to let everything lie. I guess _not_."

"Why're they fighting anyway?" Chie questions.

I frown; can feel my facial features pulling tight. "What do you know?" I tensely ask her.

She scratches her cheek. "Not much..." Chie hums as she thinks. "I know Adachi's out of jail and that he's living with you..." She trails off, tilting her head to the side.

I snort. _No one tells the outsiders anything, huh?_

"We're—Tohru and I are—" I stumble over my words. _It should be so easy at this point._ “ _Tomorrow we're—_ ”

I glance over at the girl. "I haven't told anyone," I preface this. "But we're getting married tomorrow."

"Who?" Chie asks. "You and who?! You've got a girlfriend?"

_...Sometimes I hate these kids..._

" _No!_ " I snap and she flinches. "Myself and Tohru. We are together. We are going to the government building tomorrow morning and filing paperwork to have him moved to my family registry."

Chie's silent. I chance another look and she's clearly gaping.

I smack the steering wheel. "Chie. _Please_ —Can't one of you just accept it?"

She shakes her head, baffled. “Ahh...”

"Just one?" I repeat. " _Hnn_..." I sigh and try to concentrate on driving.

"Wh-why?" she stammers. "Is this a prank?" Chie turns around in her seat. "Is that why they told me Kanji was hurt? For a prank? Some kind of TV show?!"

"No."

"...Oh." Chie sits back down. " _Awkward_."

When we arrive, Tohru and Kanji are both slumped to the ground out back. There’s a lot of blood on Kanji, but Ryota assures me they’re both physically fine. He’s less sure what the black vomit means.

I carry Tohru into the building and Ryota and Chie help Kanji. We sit them down on chairs in an empty office.

Tohru’s moaning and holding his stomach. There’s black stuff on his tee-shirt and I’m getting concerned— _It doesn’t look normal or healthy._

“What happened?” I ask him, fighting back my own nausea at the sight. “Hey—” I try a little louder.

“What dammit?” Tohru groans. “Gimme a few. I thought _I_ was gonna die too! It _hurts_...”

I sigh and crouch down so I can look him in the eye. “Why did you try to fight Kanji?”

Tohru glares tightly and glances at the kid across the room, where Ryota and Yukiko are quizzing him. “He keeps acting like he’s _better_ than me,” Tohru pouts. “I was trying to show him what it’s like to be me.”

I raise my eyebrows. “What exactly did you _do_ , Tohru?” He glances nervously around, so I rub his head; trying to get him to focus on me. “Come on. You need to tell me—Or at least Ryota.”

“I exchanged our memories, but it didn’t work the same as last time, when I did it with Narukami. This time I only got the _feelings_ of memories. And we're both really sick—I can tell he is, too...”

“Yeah,” I snort. “It looks like you’ve really hurt the both of you.” I rub my temples, trying to stay calm. “Did you really _shoot him_?”

Tohru nods, almost imperceptibly. “I had to make him think he was going to die. I don’t know how else to do it...” He coughs again, wincing in pain. “I did a lot of research, but that was all I could find—I don’t know how else to induce that emotional state.”

“You cannot do this again— _This is bad, Tohru, even for you!_ ” I take a breath. “It’s worse that you didn’t tell me, and worse still that the person you asked to heal Kanji wandered off and you didn’t bother to _stop_ and wait for him to get back.”

I get behind the rolling chair and push it over to Kanji's. He looks like he’s about to be violently ill at any moment. Yukiko’s handing him tea and passes me a cup for Tohru.

“Both of you,” I bark. “Stop it. Make up right now and let it go. You can’t keep doing this or you’re both going to end up dead, _clearly_.” I point to them in a way they know means they have to shake hands.

Tohru is used to the drill and holds his out first. Kanji grimaces and does the same.

“Sorry,” Tohru grudgingly whispers.

“Sorry,” Kanji repeats.

I sigh. “Alright. We’re supposed to have a party, aren’t we?" I grab Tohru's hand and haul him to his feet. "Lets go set it up. Give us an hour—Ryota, you too."

"Shouldn't I stay with Kanji?" he anxiously asks me.

Kanji doesn't look like he should be moved. Neither does Tohru. _They deserve it. Making us all worry like this!_

"Get him in the car," I tell Ryota. He looks surprised I don't feel bad, but pulls Kanji up too. "They _both_ lied to me. Let them sleep it off upstairs while we pick up and order food. They can rest—together—and _talk it out_."

I turn back to Tohru. "Gun," I demand. He doesn't even fight me, just pats one of his legs and I take it away; clearing it and dividing the parts between my own pockets.

Tohru is less wobbly but still appears nauseous as hell. I try making him walk, but give up and just carry him to the car. Ryota has more trouble with Kanji, who's still intermittently gagging. The taller of the two ends up dragging the other one from under the shoulders.

On the road, they're both moaning in the backseat. Ryota keeps turning around to check on them.

"Do you think anything's wrong?" I ask in a quiet voice.

Ryota tries to keep a neutral expression. "I think Kanji needs to keep throwing up those blobs of shadow and he'll be fine. I don't like that they keep coming out of him."

"Shadow?" I echo.

My double nods. "Didn't you see them squirming? I'll take care of it for now, but it's not _good_..."

"Is there anything we can do?"

Ryota shrugs. "I'll keep an eye on him."

At the house, we deposit the two morons in my bedroom and leave the door open. I give them each trash buckets in case they vomit again.

"We'll check in you every ten minutes. Call if you need something," I let them know.

Tohru nods and pulls the covers over his head. I pull them off and he gives off a high-pitched whine.

"No," I tell him. "You two talk to each other. There will be no more quarrels. I'm sick of this—You're both important to myself and Nanako and you need to work it out."

When Ryota and I make our way back downstairs, I get the feeling it'll be less talking and more sleeping.

_That's fine, though. As long as they stop messing with each other I'm happy._


	65. What’s Buried Inside (Nanako)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanako comes home to a sleeping household—Except for Ryota sitting out back. They talk for a while about the day, Tohru, and shadows. Ryoutarou escapes the party, dragging Tohru with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn we are winding down!! Two more after this :D
> 
> "Yakusoku" will have more persona mysteries and fights, while further developing the human drama. So far I'm planning on TV World exploration, Nanako's shadow, and a body swap!
> 
> If you have any comments, questions, or suggestions, please talk to me! Leave a comment or hit me up on the social media accounts listed in my profile~

Chapter Sixty-Three: What’s Buried Inside

(Nanako)

When I arrive home, I can't help feeling nervous. There was supposed to be a party, but all I hear is silence.

In the living room, Dad is sitting in the couch, passed out with Tohru up curled over him. Kanji is sleeping on the other end of the couch, and the back door is open.

When I walk over to close the glass door, I notice Ryota sitting at the edge of the porch. "Hi," I call out.

"Hey Nanako!" He smiles widely. "How was school?"

"Good," I cautiously reply. "But where is everyone else? And why are they all sleeping in the middle of the day?"

The man chuckles. "It's been a hard day. It was long, and we're all tired. But more people will be coming for dinner." He holds up his fingers as he tells me the who. "Teddie, Yukiko, Chie, and Mitsuo."

"I see," I reply with a nod. "Are they okay?" I gesture back in the house.

He shrugs. "They will be. Tohru and Kanji were—ah—arguing. That's all."

I get the feeling that _isn't_ all, but I decide someone will tell me eventually. Ryota folds his hands and stares out at the backyard.

"You enjoy being outside?" I ask.

"Yes— _Ah_ ," he pauses. "Well I do, but I'm also feeling like a fourth wheel. Those three have some issues to work out and I wanted to leave them alone for a while. Then they all fell asleep."

"I get that," I say. "If anything, Kanji's been feeling like a third wheel. He doesn't really like Tohru-jisan."

Ryota laughs again. "I can't quite blame him. Tohru isn't very nice, especially to Kanji."

He sighs and taps his foot a few times. "Kanji has been here all along and loves you all. Tohru is feeling jealous and threatened, so he's been pushing Kanji around. It's not right and had to end. I think today Tohru is finally realizing he needs to calm down."

"Why do you say that?" I quiz.

"Tohru has a hard time knowing when to quit. Today he seems to have realized that at some point you need to give to a rest—That you can't force someone to see your side. Either they will or they won't."

"He doesn't like to be wrong," I agree.

Ryota snorts and pats my back. "That is _very_ true."

"Ryota," I start to ask him.

"Hnn?" he hums.

I sigh, wondering if I really want to broach this subject.

Ryota pats my shoulder. “What is it?” he prompts.

“Do shadows need to sleep?”

The man raises his eyebrows and rubs his arm before looking self-conscious and instead folding his hands in his lap. “Shadows, huh?” he repeats. “Like _me_?”

I nod. “Yeah,” I manage.

“Not like myself _and_ _Teddie_?” he asks me. “Shouldn’t you ask him these things?”

_I should. I should be asking him about shadows directly instead of putting someone else in the middle._

_But what if he doesn’t want me to know...? He’s never told me about the way he works._

“You’re worried, right?” Ryota kindly questions. “He hasn’t told you anything about how he’s ‘alive’.”

“Well,” I chew on my lip.

“It’s okay—” he reassures me. “No; we don’t need to sleep. But Teddie seems to enjoy sleeping.”

I laugh a little. “He does, huh?”

Ryota nods. “I think so. He’s trying to act like the rest of you. It’s different for me because I don’t have anybody to put on a show for, so to speak.”

I can’t help giggling again. “It’s funny when you say it like that.”

He holds out his arms, smiling sadly. “Teddie had the Tatsumis and you—I think it’s important for him to fit in by acting the way you do.”

_It makes sense._

_But it also sounds lonely. For both Teddie and Ryota._

“You should spend some time with him,” I tell the man. “Maybe you could both talk about it.”

“I don’t mind spending time with anyone,” Ryota tells me. “But I wouldn’t want to call attention to something he’s trying to cope with like that.”

Ryota sighs and rubs the back of his neck nervously. “If it ever comes up, you’re free to let him know he can always talk to me. But I wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

“That’s nice of you,” I observe aloud.

“I get the feeling,” Ryota says with a chuckle. “That Teddie doesn’t thrive off negative attention the way Tohru—” Before he can finish speaking, Ryota pitches forward off the edge of the porch and lands on his face.

“What’re you saying about me?!” Tohru demands from behind us.

Ryota jumps up and gives Tohru a look. “Just because that doesn’t hurt doesn’t mean I don’t find it annoying!”

“Eeh, whatever.” Tohru picks his nose and looks at his finger.

I try not to laugh until I notice the black stuff—Sobers me right up. “Are you alright?”

Tohru wipes it on his shirt and turns to me. “I’m fine. Feeling a _lot_ better~” he folds his arms and smirks at Ryota. “Ryou’s still sleeping and Kanji doesn’t look as good as I do!”

“Stop gloating,” Ryota rolls his eyes.

“Whatever,” Tohru waves us off and strolls back inside with his hands linked behind his head.

I slide the door shut and Ryota sits back down next to me, looking like he knows there’s more I want to ask him. “I have one more question,” I say. “But it’s going to be difficult...”

“As long as it’s not how or why I was created. I’ve already promised not to answer those.” He smiles nonetheless, so I decide to go on.

“You think you know Dad and Tohru-jisan from back then pretty well, right? Do you suppose you could tell what Dad was thinking and how Tohru-jisan was feeling?”

He snickers. “That’s a pretty big assumption, but yes—I think I have the general idea.”

I nod. “Do you think it was partly Dad’s fault he snapped the way he did?”

Ryota’s face falls. “You can’t...” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, looking sad. “It’s not fair to put something like _that_ on Ryou.”

He frowns and shakes his head. “I think a lot of things may be his fault, but I can’t answer that. It’s too unfair—Tohru _killed_ people. No matter how frustrated he was, there is no excuse.”

I wait to see if he’ll go on. When I don’t speak, he sighs again.

“Ryou definitely thinks he can be blamed, but I don’t think anyone should be held accountable except for Tohru himself, and whoever did his mental health assessment when he was transferred to Inaba.”

“What do you mean?”

“I found out the truth—” Ryota hesitates and peeks into the living room. Dad and Kanji are still out and Tohru is sitting by Dad, playing a game. “He shot someone who pulled a gun on him. The man died, so he ended up transferred. Even if the guy needed to be brought in, shooting a suspect in Japan is rare.”

“The man was a local thug—No one big enough to really warrant a that kind of a weapon on the scene, but it turned out Tohru had one anyhow.” Ryota grimaces. “ _Compound it with the fact that the guy was his father..._ ”

He shakes his head and exhales loudly. “There are multiple reports of his parents getting dragged in for criminal activity, and he was even yanked out of the household twice. Nothing stuck.”

I open my mouth, but I don’t know what to say.

_The first thing that comes to mind is Tohru-jisan telling me that Dad does his best. That I have a good parent._

I’m still trying to speak, but I don’t have words.

“There’s more—But—” Ryota grimaces. “That’s all you need to know. I’m unsure if Tohru himself even knows the other details. I’m going to talk to him about it while we’re at Naichou later. Then there will be people around who can help him make a decision...”

I’m still turning over the details in my head that I don’t process that last part. _How Tohru is so adverse to real arguments, unlike the play-fighting he constantly engages in. How he breaks up our fights and tries to make us get along._

I slowly shake my head. Ryota looks guilty for telling me; he reaches out and pulls me into a one-armed hug. “I don’t think any of them know. Please keep this between us—He doesn’t _want_ anyone to know, but I don't want you putting his wacky mental state on your dad or someone else.”

We sit quietly until we can hear voices coming down the road out front. "Sounds like Teddie, Yukiko, and Chie," I say and Ryota nods.

"They're nice. I enjoy spending time at the Inn," he tells me. "I get to do the tea ceremony!"

He's smiling so excitedly I have to cover my mouth so he won't see my laugh. "That's great!" I reply. _I wonder if he's good at it?_

Ryota talks about his other duties until the back door slides open and Tohru stomps out. "Your annoying entourage is here," he sneers at the tall man.

"Oh good," Ryota says, not bothered at the gibe. "You should be nice to them. You'll probably see more of Chie."

" _Why?_ " he recoils and jumps to the patio.

Ryota grins. "You didn't hear yet? She's working with Ryou and Yamamura! They'll have so much fun!!"

Tohru grimaces and sits hard on the ground. "He'll _love_ that..."

Dad walks out with a look as though he's trying to avoid all the questions Chie is hurling at him. "Ah Tohru—Didn't you want to go for a walk with me?" he loudly demands, slamming the door.

Tohru simpers and looks like he's going to say 'no', but Dad yanks the smaller man to his feet and throws an arm around his neck, dragging him around the house. "We'll be back in a while," he waves to us.

Ryota laughs and then walks inside to see the others. Teddie zips past him and sits with me on the deck. "Have a good day, Nana?"

"Mostly," I smile, taking his hand. "This evening will be fun."

Teddie nods. "We brought food! It'll be great~"

Looking at my friend I wonder what the future holds for us. He's so bubbly and animated, but as time goes on, I can't help worrying about our differences.


	66. Snapshot (Ryoutarou)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a little wrap-up party like old times. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The DAY I wrote Ryota looking at the pictures I knew I wanted to add one with all the newcomers. I wrote up my first draft of this chapter then, with the intention that it would be the final chapter for this story.
> 
> I had to add the first section and change a few things because of all I’d added since, but this is a nice closing. Tomorrow is the epilogue of “Kazoku”!

Chapter Sixty-Four: Snapshot

(Ryoutarou)

I lead Tohru on a walk through the woods. I don't want to put up with all those people right now and I doubt he does, either—Evidenced by how he was hiding outside the house when they arrived.

Hearing noise, I woke up to Tohru stealthily showing his game between the couch cushions and trying to leave me to fend for myself. I grabbed his hand but he shook free. Then Chie was peppering me with work questions and I had to make a break for the backyard.

"It's nice to go for a walk together," I remark to Tohru. He grunts, skulking beside me. "Isn't it better than being in the house?"

"Yeah," Tohru admits. "That's true I guess... right now, at least."

I look around at the tall trees. "It's pretty out here. I like being outside."

"I like being wherever you are," he quips.

"I know." I smile at Tohru and he cautiously returns it.

When we reach the bench that marks the halfway point, I take a seat and Tohru leans on me. He looks happy, just resting outdoors in the middle of the cool forest. I pat his head and he cracks a smile; wraps my free arm around him.

"Wake me when you wanna go back," Tohru mumbles, starting to fall asleep again.

_What happened earlier? It exhausted him and Kanji. They both looked sick to their stomachs and had literal black bile spilling out. That can't not be a sign._

_It was right in my face. An obvious outward symbol of what he's been going through._

I keep rubbing his head and a neutral expression stays on his face. _Peaceful. I like it._

I like _this._

I'm certain I dozed off myself at some point. When I come-to, we've practically reversed positions. I'm leaning on Tohru and he's got his arms around me; is peering at the woods around us with distrust.

"What's up?" I yawn.

Tohru shakes his head. "Nothing, I think."

"Alright," I nod. "We should return. It _is_ our house, after all."

He smiles fondly. _Seems to like me saying 'our'. Looks like he's finally getting onboard about solidifying his place with me._

I stand and stretch before extending my hand to Tohru. He takes it and we amble slowly back to the house. _There's no rush. If people go home, so be it. Whoever wants to see us will wait._

As I expected, the girls and Kubo have already taken off, but Nanako, Kanji, Teddie, and Ryota remain. They're sitting around what's left of the food, and turn to us expectantly. I grab a plate and sit on the floor, Tohru shoves Kanji away to sit next to me.

I shoot Tohru a look but Kanji just rolls his eyes. "That's the least of my problems," he tells me. "Today he—Well, you know."

 _Tohru shot Kanji._ I sigh.

_Everything is so warped with Tohru. He makes it all so complicated._

_Like he can't simply enjoy people. Can't just make friends._

After we’re finished eating, Nanako shoots a look at Kanji. He nods and walks to pick up her camera.

“I want a photo!” she says to the rest of us.

“I get to be in it?!” Teddie shrieks and I have to laugh.

I look around. “What do you want us to do?” I ask my daughter.

A big smile grows on her face as she stands and claps her hands. “Everybody up!” she orders, walking over to the couch. “Tohru-jisan,” she calls and he obediently saunters over. “You’re there.” She points him to her left and he sits.

“Dad, you’re next,” I’m told and I sit in the middle seat next to Tohru. He grins and hooks his arm around me. I roll my eyes and start to push him away, but Nanako tells us we’re fine. “I want you all to act natural. It’s a new family photo.”

“Ryota, take the other seat,” she commands. The man doesn’t move, just stands where he is, looking very surprised. “C’mon,” Nanako urges him, grabbing his hand and seating him on my other side.

Ryota turns to us and Tohru bares his teeth at him. “Knock it off.” I elbow Tohru and he huffs.

“You really want… _Me_ …?” Ryota dumbly questions.

“Mm-hmm!” Nanako nods as though everything is normal.

“But I’m not—“

Nanako is already grabbing Teddie’s hand and pointing to the floor however, and Ryota's further protesting is ignored. I shrug and throw my arm over his shoulders. Tohru makes an annoyed noise. “Moron,” I tell him. “You’ve already got yours around mine. I can’t.” Tohru makes another growl, but leans forward and I slide my arm around his middle. “See? We can all fit. Be good for Nanako.”

Then she’s telling Kanji how many to take with the disposable camera and I look around quickly. _It’s me and the two men on the couch, with her and Teddie in front of us. Of course Teddie is seated between Tohru and I—He was Tohru’s shadow._

_And Ryota was mine, so he’s next to me._

_I see._

“Ready?” Kanji asks us, peering through the viewfinder.

Teddie leans over, throws his arms around Nanako and screams, “Cheese!!”

I hear the shutter flit as Kanji snaps the first picture. “One more,” he tells us, rewinding the camera. He counts down and clicks the camera a second time.

“All right!” Nanako says, standing up. “Thanks!”

I shrug at the guys and take my arms back. Tohru pulls me over and pokes me, laughing.

“You can only make friends with _yourself_!”

“ _He’s not me!_ ” we both object, only causing him to further howl with laughter.

I roll my eyes and call him another name. I’m about to make a crack to Ryota when I realize he’s already speaking with Nanako—She’s made her way back over to sit on the arm of the couch and chat with him.

“—so I can give you one when they’re ready,” she finishes.

“Really?” he asks, his voice sounding _very_ vulnerable. _I don’t know if the others catch it, but it’s the same way my own voice sounds sometimes._

I sigh and interrupt them, leaning over. “If _she_ says you’re family…” I trail off.

Nanako beams while Ryota fumbles with his phone so they can exchange numbers. Then Tohru calls her over to the other side of the couch.

“Hey, I know what you did,” he quietly tells her, pushing my away for once, so the two can whisper.

“What do you mean, Tohru-jisan?” she innocently asks, smirking.

He points to where Teddie was sitting. “You made it us and our shadows— _I’m_ no fool~”

“Well,” she gibes. “You _are_ a capital-‘f’ Fool!”

Tohru rolls his eyes. “So you learned more?” he queries.

“Yes,” Nanako nods, tucking her hair behind an ear. “When the time comes, I’ll be ready—“ She stops and they both glance at me.

I grunt. “No one’s going to tell me, huh?” The two shake their heads and I groan.

“We’ll let you know if you need to,” Tohru placates, patting my shoulder. I pull him down into a headlock, but instead of fighting, he simply stares up at me, looking bored. “It’s the _truth_ ,” he says.

Nanako grins at us. “He’s right,” she asserts. “This is between the two of us—And Big Bro and Namatame-san.”

“Really now?” I ask, surprised at the other names she’s included. “Does that mean you have one of their gods?”

My daughter shakes her head. “It’s different with every cycle. I don’t know _what_ I’ll get, or when it’ll happen. But there’s a good chance I can make my own difference.”

Tohru makes an unsubtle growl, so I kiss the top of his end and let him up. He gazes at Nanako and sighs. “And I know _you’ll_ make the right difference.”

“Yes,” she smiles kindly. “I promise. For my family.” She leans over to give Tohru a hug too, and his face displays shock as he slowly wraps his arms around her.

When she walks away he collapses back against the couch and folds his arms. “I’ll never get used to this family bullshit,” he mutters, though I can tell he _is_ getting used to it; just doesn’t know how to react properly.

“Yes, you will,” I tell him, stretching out my arm. He scoots over to lean against me and I rest my head against his, signaling to Kanji. “I want a new photo, too,” I murmur.

“What?” he asks, actually turning red! "Of _us_?"

I laugh loudly, looking only at him as Kanji takes the picture. Tohru tries to force my head in the other direction and yells for me to at least look at the camera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll notice their pose is the same as the old picture of them, from before :D I wanted it to mirror how things were when they were good and easy, showing that things are moving back to a comfortable place for our guys~


	67. Kazoku (Tohru)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru is smart and asks for help going back inside the TV. Then he and Ryoutarou get ready for bed while Tohru reflects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s short, but it doesn’t NEED to be longer. I wanted to convey growth in terms of asking for help instead of Tohru taking so many chances, and his feelings for Ryoutarou and his family. :) I wanted a better wrap-up than last time!

 

Chapter Epilogue: Kazoku

(Tohru)

After the sappy picture, I hone in on Ryota. _I need his help. I can't do this alone if I'm going to be safe._

"Ryota," I tap the tall man on the shoulder. He turns to me and I motion him to a quiet corner of the kitchen. "I have some business I need to take care of. Do you think you'd be able to suppress my shadow yourself?"

He nods thoughtfully. "I don't see why not. It shouldn't be difficult—I thought you'd ask at some point and already talked to Marie about what to do."

"Come back through the TV, to my room, late tonight. Ryou should be asleep by ten. Help me explore in there—I have some things I need to confirm and I'll need someone to shove down Angry Me."

"Alright," he smiles. "Sounds like a good time!"

"You're one freaking weird guy," I sigh, but he continues to grin.

Everyone finally takes off around nine. Even Teddie went home for the night, thankfully. _I'd like as few people in the house as possible. It would have been better if Nanako went to the Tatsumis', too._

"Let's go to bed," Ryoutarou says, slinging his arm around me and yawning. "Wanna be rested for tomorrow!" He beams at me and I have to look away, still a little conflicted about whether I'm the right choice.

_Tomorrow, I'm getting married._

_—Those are words I never thought I'd be able to say. How did I manage this?_

Ryoutarou guides me upstairs and says we're showering in the morning so we look nice. I don't bother asking 'why'— _I know he'll want to take a picture or something. There's no way he'll let me get off just filing paperwork and going back home. He already made me take the morning off._

_I mean, he'll want to spend time alone too, but I bet there'll be a date or something. Like lunch, or breakfast if he makes us go right when they open._

I catch myself smiling despite it all sounding like a huge pain. _I wanna be with him, I wanna be stuck doing these atrociously mundane things with the person I care about the most._

Ryoutarou strips to his boxers and lays down, looking like a kid waiting for their birthday. _Like if they fall asleep quicker it'll come faster._

I laugh at him and take off my own clothes. He sticks out his arm so I know he wants to hold me. I make a show of sighing, but cuddle up right next to him.

He smacks my head jokingly, then rubs my back and sighs. He seems happy, staring at me and telling me he loves me.

I reply to my level of comfort and he's undeterred—Still claiming he just absolutely loves me so much.

"Tomorrow," he says one more time, drifting off.

_It's nice, this. Having a family._

Having _him_ as my family.

I can only rest for maybe an hour, but it's so worth it. I love laying here, where it's peaceful and everything feels okay.

Where I finally feel loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two week break from posting!! During the interim, I will begin posting “WakaranAi” tomorrow morning. It’s a Kanji/Doujima short story and will run for fifteen chapters/days. The whole thing is already written. Please take a look if you have the time!
> 
> I will begin posting “Yakusoku” on Monday, September 25th. I really hope to see you all back!! Please, PLEASE—Give me a shout. Let me know what you like or don’t like. What I should write more about or give less time to. I would LOVE to hear some feedback!! Also feel free to find me on Discord, Tumblr, Twitter, or any of my other accounts listed on my profile!


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